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Saint Peter

Jane Goodie

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DL Confessional

 

I too have been to Lourdes. Note for full impact go as close to the 15th August as you can possibly manage. It is at it's busiest (tackiest?). Special train loads of pilgrims from Italy, people on route to Santiago de Compostela and people just wanting to nose around. The things I found the most amusing, aside from the plastic Marys and 5L water jerrys more commonly seen in Halfords containing screen wash or engine oil, were the gianormous church reminiscent of an underground car park, dank, gloomy and made of concrete and the water taps similar to those at Glastonbury. A long pipe (rising off of the mains?) with several push button taps along the pipe where they fill up the aforementioned jerries.

 

Now, being British I happened to find myself in a queue. Not wanting to appear as if I were pushing in, I decided against wandering to the front to see what said queue was for or what it entailed, I just waited patiently to see the "cave". It was only when I was nearing the front that I realised everyone was touching the cave as they walked around. Too late to pull out (how very catholic) I had to go with the flow. Feeling subconcious I cracked and towards the end of my walk around the cave I put out my hand to touch the wall. The main reason for the reflex? The throng of people who sit and pray (and watch) those walking around the "cave". I felt like an imposter. Which as some might say that in escence Lourdes is full of Charlatans, I technically wasn't out of place, semantically speaking.

 

Couldn't see go bathe in the Ganges instead with all her friends?

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Now, being British I happened to find myself in a queue. Not wanting to appear as if I were pushing in, I decided against wandering to the front to see what said queue was for or what it entailed, I just waited patiently to see the "cave". It was only when I was nearing the front that I realised everyone was touching the cave as they walked around. Too late to pull out (how very catholic) I had to go with the flow.

You got off lightly, I joined a queue and ended up being dunked in a bath of cold water by three nuns :rolleyes:

 

Couldn't she go bathe in the Ganges instead with all her friends?

:lol:

 

The actual site is a lovely place though - I'm not Catholic but couldn't help to be moved. Despite the crowds of tourists it's a surprisingly tranquil place.

I do agree with this actually - some aspects of Lourdes are very humbling.

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Now, being British I happened to find myself in a queue. Not wanting to appear as if I were pushing in, I decided against wandering to the front to see what said queue was for or what it entailed, I just waited patiently to see the "cave". It was only when I was nearing the front that I realised everyone was touching the cave as they walked around. Too late to pull out (how very catholic) I had to go with the flow.

You got off lightly, I joined a queue and ended up being dunked in a bath of cold water by three nuns :rolleyes:

 

I saw that queue after the cave and thought no, I'm not falling for the same trick twice. There's no space mountain at the end of the queue!

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I can't say I have been to the real thing, but my mother dragged me to this cheap immitation back in Argentina when I was a little girl.

It is actually called Lourdes Grotto, Mar del Plata, and this is what it looks like... sad, I know.

 

DSCN1761.JPG

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I just think that it is very cruel taking people there, it's largely in most cases a false-hope which must only depressed those unfortunate further

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I just think that it is very cruel taking people there, it's largely in most cases a false-hope which must only depressed those unfortunate further

 

I dunno. If she can live enough to see the second test, I see no reaso--

 

Oh LOURDES! :rolleyes:

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I had to go with the flow. Feeling subconcious I cracked

How does one feel subconscious?

I think your account has been hacked Mono -- poor spelling, mistakes, and religious idolatry -- hardly what we've come to expect of our very own member of Occam's Razorgang.

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I had to go with the flow. Feeling subconcious I cracked

How does one feel subconscious?

I think your account has been hacked Mono -- poor spelling, mistakes, and religious idolatry -- hardly what we've come to expect of our very own member of Occam's Razorgang.

 

It must be the only logical conclusion :rolleyes:

 

I'll say ten Our Fathers, five Hail Marys and the word self-conscious written out 2,000 times willl be on your desk by tommorrow.

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I confess to being a cynical bastard. The coffers of the Vatican runneth over..........into The Mobs bank account.

When I was a boy i was in the Cubs, hated the fact that the Church Hall floor used to put splinters into my arse cheeks so I gave up.

My ramble brings me to an experience I had a little while back. I was given a job to go and recover some temporary digital circuits from Ely Cathederal ( Songs of Praise had just been filmed there) and, walking into the main entrance, I realised that there really was a God.

Utterly breathtaking.

PS: Im now a tad pissed.

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Is this a piss-take? DL gets religion! I think I'm off to spam on DS for a while until you lot recover your senses.

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Is this a piss-take? DL gets religion! I think I'm off to spam on DS for a while until you lot recover your senses.

I'm very religious, just not Christian. I'm a dedicated Pastafarian.

Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?

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Is this a piss-take? DL gets religion! I think I'm off to spam on DS for a while until you lot recover your senses.

 

Of course not, we are all seriously committed to this site. Sarcasm, irony and satire will not be tolerated.

 

I'm very religious, just not Christian. I'm a dedicated Pastafarian.

Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?

 

Yes, last night, I ate his fettuccine alla fagioli* di fava with a nice Chianti.

 

 

* wikipedia-Babelfish so help me God.

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I just think that it is very cruel taking people there, it's largely in most cases a false-hope which must only depressed those unfortunate further

 

I dunno. If she can live enough to see the second test, I see no reaso--

 

Oh LOURDES! ;)

 

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::rolleyes:

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Great forum. I'm hoping this Goody palaver will turn out to be a devious media stunt, with Jade finally being ripped to shreds by a disappointed tabloid mob.. But that's just me I suppose.

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(Tweed): I am yours, and ever shall it be.

 

So no future woman in your life in that case? Hmmm, I wonder if he'll wake up, the morning after the funeral, alone... :rolleyes:

 

Rumour has it he's started seeing Farrah Fawcett.

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Little voice from the back seat ..... "Is she dead yet?"

 

Sick of this now.

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Little voice from the back seat ..... "Is she dead yet?

No, but it's not really living either.

Those non-Pastafarians amongst us might like to think of it like a kind of Big Brother purgatory. There's only one exit and not a helluva lot to do until she gets called into the diary room.

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I reckon Tweed will wake up next to a shaven headed Max Clifford..............they have been in bed with that cahunt since the start of this sham

 

 

 

Let this be resolved...............Quickly

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Little voice from the back seat ..... "Is she dead yet?

No, but it's not really living either.

Those non-Pastafarians amongst us might like to think of it like a kind of Big Brother purgatory. There's only one exit and not a helluva lot to do until she gets called into the diary room.

 

I reckon she's half way up the BB staircase.

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So what's happened today, Max?

 

"Jade woke up to an empty bed, but didn't mind as Tweed was on errands that night for her...apparently, she isn't happy unless he's drunk/angry/off his head to start her "perfect day". She went for number ones and twos during the day, shaved the few persisting hairs, took tablets and had sustenance...and waited for Tweed to shake himself awake and head out on another errand for her. A marriage made in heaven.

 

I'll elaborate for an extra £10 million". *

 

Insightful as ever, Max. :unsure:

 

* Not an attributable quote

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