Handrejka 1,840 Posted August 9, 2009 Worried what to get the kids for Christmas? Just find a rancid old corpse and tell them it's a crocodile and they'll play happily into the new year. (story is a bit goss actually) http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article....jectid=10589192 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted August 15, 2009 Talk like a f'uckwit using this handy translator. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted August 15, 2009 Talk like a f'uckwit using this handy translator. Handy. Thanks! MAH NME SI BANSHES SCREM AND I LIEK 2 2S TEH OD DWARF WHILST DALIEVRNG PIZA IN A BIG STRETCH LIMO DRIEVN BY A 2WEL HAAD!!1!!! WTF LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,142 Posted August 15, 2009 Talk like a f'uckwit using this handy translator. Was this tool designed for paedophiles to help with their online grooming of kids? Someone should get a patent on it - its a growing crime... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted August 25, 2009 Send stuff you don't want to junk mail companies and they pay for it. Here's how. I'm going to sent a pair of old slippers to a large credit card company. I hope they like them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rotten Ali 599 Posted August 25, 2009 Talk like a f'uckwit using this handy translator. Was this tool designed for paedophiles to help with their online grooming of kids? Someone should get a patent on it - its a growing crime... LOL very good - my little try at this comes back as: HOW SI IT POSIBLE 2 WRIET SOMATHNG IN THES BOX AND SE IT TRANSLAETD IN SUCH A FASHION BLOW WITHOUT AT LEAST A MODICUM OF HUMAN INPUT OR INTERL3CT!1!!!!1 OMG WTF LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boudicca 702 Posted August 28, 2009 Representing what happened to Russians during WWII. At the end it says something like, "1945; You will always be near'' People in the audience were moved to tears by it so I'd like to think it was haunting and significant for them, rather than just the over-sentimentality of Britain's Got Talent judges Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,142 Posted August 28, 2009 Representing what happened to Russians during WWII. At the end it says something like, "1945; You will always be near'' People in the audience were moved to tears by it so I'd like to think it was haunting and significant for them, rather than just the over-sentimentality of Britain's Got Talent judges I don't understand. They obviously have televisions - so why? Edit: I think one is about Peter Sellers (basing that on a film I watched earlier on in the week).By the way, his second wife the actress BrittEkland was diagnosed with osteoperosis in 2004. Did the sand woman win the show? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canadian Paul 93 Posted August 29, 2009 Representing what happened to Russians during WWII. At the end it says something like, "1945; You will always be near'' People in the audience were moved to tears by it so I'd like to think it was haunting and significant for them, rather than just the over-sentimentality of Britain's Got Talent judges Representing what happened to Ukrainians, which was very very different than what happened to Russians. And yes Windsor, she did end up winning, which is quite impressive given that her final competitor was a half-naked belly dancer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dave to the Grave 11 Posted August 29, 2009 Representing what happened to Russians during WWII. At the end it says something like, "1945; You will always be near'' People in the audience were moved to tears by it so I'd like to think it was haunting and significant for them, rather than just the over-sentimentality of Britain's Got Talent judges Representing what happened to Ukrainians, which was very very different than what happened to Russians. And yes Windsor, she did end up winning, which is quite impressive given that her final competitor was a half-naked belly dancer. Purely by way of comparison, I have spent the last hour or so searching for 'half naked belly dancers' and I assume this is the dancer in question. Very talented. I think despite myself, I prefered the sand animation, although she could have been even more talented had she had done this whilst wearing some burning headgear. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boudicca 702 Posted August 29, 2009 Sorry about that CP, I didn't see the bit in brackets saying, "Ukraine's Got Talent" last night. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted August 31, 2009 I love this site... E-mails from an Asshole. There's many a chuckle to be had reading through some of the archives. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted September 7, 2009 Place your bets. Dog v Croc. Who can run the fastest? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Body Snatcher 44 107 Posted September 7, 2009 Flirt with death by surfing off Gunnamatta beach. Conditions were choppy and I'd never surfed there before, I could barely make it past the breakwater - washing machine style - a large wave caught me off guard and dumped me violently into the swell, I swallowed a belly full of sea water. That was on Sunday and I'm still picking sand out of my ears and arse. Can't wait to do it again next weekend! Although the profile mentions the raw sewage outflow from Melbourne, it fails to mention that sharks love to lurk in the sea trenches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 9,992 Posted September 25, 2009 Head butt 44 toilet seats into splinters inside Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 148 Posted September 25, 2009 Head butt 44 toilet seats into splinters inside Strictly speaking it was the toilet seat covers. The seats would be more difficult. A few years ago I went to the GWR offices and the editor, who has written a "how to do" book on killing vampires, gave me the chance to set a new world record for sticking rubber bands round my head. It hadn't been done so I wouldn't have had to do that many as a first off. But one has one's dignity, so I declined. Now though, thinking back on long winter nights, I partly regret it. It was the only chance in my adult life to be a hero for my kids. I could have been the bloke with rubber bands round his head instead of living in relative obscurity, researching bricks and occasional interesting squid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Watch Beatle 40 Posted October 5, 2009 I am a little out of touch with the DL at the moment, so apologies if this new sport has already come to your attention: An olympic sport for 2012? - we might actually win a gold! DWB Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 148 Posted October 5, 2009 I suppose it makes a change. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 7,940 Posted October 6, 2009 Do some 'decoding'. It'll keep you amused for hours - I particularly liked the Robin van Persie decode. They're all barking! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 119 Posted October 7, 2009 Do some 'decoding'. It'll keep you amused for hours - I particularly liked the Robin van Persie decode. They're all barking! Brilliant! Anyone up for a spot of squid-related trolling? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted October 23, 2009 After seeing the Griffin Mash-up, here's a bit of mashin' at the Wheeltappers and Shunters club... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted October 24, 2009 Try to work out what the lyrics are in this song. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted October 24, 2009 Try to work out what the lyrics are in this song. I think Celentano mentioned something about a Brazilian squid's new world order and that Berlusconi is actually a secret communist :crossbone: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 7,940 Posted October 25, 2009 Try to work out what the lyrics are in this song. After several hours of listening, noting, re-listening and refining, I've come up with the following: Prisencolinensinainciusol In de col men seivuan Prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait Uis de seim cius nau op de seim Ol uait men in de colobos dai Trrr - ciak is e maind beghin de col Bebi stei ye push yo oh Uis de seim cius nau op de seim Ol uoit men in de colobos dai Not s de seim laikiu de promisdin Iu nau in trabol lovgiai ciu gen In do camo not cius no bai for lov so Op op giast cam lau ue cam lov ai Oping tu stei laik cius go mo men Iu bicos tue men cold dobrei goris Oh sandei Ai ai smai sesler Eni els so co uil piso ai In de col men seivuan Prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait Ai ai smai senflecs Eni go for doing peso ai Prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait Uel ai sint no ai giv de sint Laik de cius nobodi oh gud taim lev feis go Uis de seim et seim cius go no ben Let de cius end kai for not de gai giast stei Ai ai smai senflecs Eni go for doing peso ai In de col mein seivuan Prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait Lu nei si not sicidor Ah es la bebi la dai big iour Ai aismai senflecs Eni go for doing peso ai In de col mein seivuan Prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait Lu nei si not sicodor Ah es la bebi la dai big iour Well OK, I googled it! No luck with a translation as yet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 9,992 Posted October 28, 2009 Lengthen the wait for death by fighting cancer........with curry. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
