DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

I have a feeling we're in for the biggest death since Thatcher/Mandela tomorrow.

You only have 3hrs and 48mins left.........................

[YoungWillz 21,067]

One year to the day that I joined.

 

I've found out my particular interests are British Science Fiction, Dead Pop Stars, Columbo Murderers and Nazis. Who'd have thought? Always thought they would have included Musicals, Actors and Actresses 1969-1990 and Game Show Hosts.

 

Anyway, it's my 50th this year. I'm hoping for a ginger dwarf stripper with a big one, and a cake (a big one). Oh and a lottery win. Oh and a couple of hits on each team I've entered. My aspirations remain low.

[CarolAnn 926]

In California for three weeks. IT'S RAINING! The drought is nowhere near broken, but at least the 3" wide cracks in my lawn have closed.

[Handrejka 1,904]

Not sure what's more pathetic, the fact that I just googled "Michael Praed shirtless" or the fact that there is a website dedicated to his chest hair moments.

 

http://www.chm.michael-praed.org/CHM/c01.htm

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

Not sure what's more pathetic, the fact that I just googled "Michael Praed shirtless" or the fact that there is a website dedicated to his chest hair moments.

 

http://www.chm.michael-praed.org/CHM/c01.htm

that's nothing look at the losers on this site http://www.deathlist.net

[Magere Hein 1,400]

 

Not sure what's more pathetic, the fact that I just googled "Michael Praed shirtless" or the fact that there is a website dedicated to his chest hair moments.

 

http://www.chm.michael-praed.org/CHM/c01.htm

that's nothing look at the losers on this site http://www.deathlist.net

 

 

Ugh, that's sick!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

You would think that, by now, the human race would have evolved to the point that we would no longer need loo paper for number twos.

Im at a loss as to why our creator chose to give dogs a 'snip it off clean' system and not humans, I mean, we are supposed to be superior, aren't we???

 

 

[Toast 16,155]

You would think that, by now, the human race would have evolved to the point that we would no longer need loo paper for number twos.

Im at a loss as to why our creator chose to give dogs a 'snip it off clean' system and not humans, I mean, we are supposed to be superior, aren't we???

 

 

 

That is a very good point.

 

I have also observed an insidious deterioration in the quality of loo paper. They seem to be making it thinner and flimsier, and the sheets seem to be smaller than they used to be. It's, well, crap now.

[Deathray 2,941]

You would think that, by now, the human race would have evolved to the point that we would no longer need loo paper for number twos.

Im at a loss as to why our creator chose to give dogs a 'snip it off clean' system and not humans, I mean, we are supposed to be superior, aren't we???

 

 

 

To be fair loo paper isn't essential, it's just much more convenient (debatable that it's actually more hygienic). There's a lot of cultures/places (mainly India and surrounding areas of Asia though) where they use their hand with warm water to wash their backsides out, then wash their hands afterwards.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

You would think that, by now, the human race would have evolved to the point that we would no longer need loo paper for number twos.

 

Have you tried using your iPhone yet?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

 

You would think that, by now, the human race would have evolved to the point that we would no longer need loo paper for number twos.

 

Have you tried using your iPhone yet?

 

Well Hein, quite honestly, I have to use one for work and they are completely useless so , yes, maybe using it to wipe my arse is the way forwards!

[En Passant 3,743]

 

You would think that, by now, the human race would have evolved to the point that we would no longer need loo paper for number twos.

 

Have you tried using your iPhone yet?

 

I fear i must be missing something here, but ive not seen this particular application of an iphone heavily promoted.

[Bibliogryphon 9,589]

Currently in the business lounge at Birmingham airport about to board a flight to Delhi for a business trip.

 

Never been to India before. Not really looking forward to it.

[charon 4,943]

'Gen non school massacre' or 'planes, trains and automobiles crash' threads for that pish...

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Currently in the business lounge at Birmingham airport about to board a flight to Delhi for a business trip.

 

Never been to India before. Not really looking forward to it.

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees"

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"

Room Service: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: "What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?...pry,boy, pooch?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An San toes?"

Guest: "What???"

Room Service: "San toes. July San toes?"

Guest: "Uhh... I don't think so"

Room Service: "No? Judo one toes??"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

Room Service:

"Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine." Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bother?"

Guest: "No. Just put the bother on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?"

Guest: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Sorry???"

Room Service: "Copy...tea...mill?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tendjewberrymud."

Guest: "You're welcome."

[time 8,624]

 

Currently in the business lounge at Birmingham airport about to board a flight to Delhi for a business trip.

 

Never been to India before. Not really looking forward to it.

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees"

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"

Room Service: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: "What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?...pry,boy, pooch?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An San toes?"

Guest: "What???"

Room Service: "San toes. July San toes?"

Guest: "Uhh... I don't think so"

Room Service: "No? Judo one toes??"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

Room Service:

"Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine." Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bother?"

Guest: "No. Just put the bother on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?"

Guest: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Sorry???"

Room Service: "Copy...tea...mill?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tendjewberrymud."

Guest: "You're welcome."

 

I shouldn't have laughed at this half as much as I did.

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

It was pointed out to me a few hours ago that I have gone from assassin to post-twunt. I've never considered myself to be a post whore but is that what it makes me?

[YoungWillz 21,067]

It was pointed out to me a few hours ago that I have gone from assassin to post-twunt. I've never considered myself to be a post whore but is that what it makes me?

 

Congrats on your twunt status Cat!

[Sean 6,337]

I have a blind date on Saturday.Very nervous!Still can`t be as bad as the last date I had with my strange flatmate(she is still obsessed with me) so I suppose that should give me some reason for optimism.And no my date is not Stevie Wonder

[Handrejka 1,904]

Hope it all goes well for you.

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

I have a blind date on Saturday.Very nervous!Still can`t be as bad as the last date I had with my strange flatmate(she is still obsessed with me) so I suppose that should give me some reason for optimism.And no my date is not Stevie Wonder

good luck and if things go bad on the date pull this gem. I lost my teddy bear,will you sleep with me.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

 

I have a blind date on Saturday.Very nervous!Still can`t be as bad as the last date I had with my strange flatmate(she is still obsessed with me) so I suppose that should give me some reason for optimism.And no my date is not Stevie Wonder

good luck and if things go bad on the date pull this gem. I lost my teddy bear,will you sleep with me.

 

Kid.................

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

I have a blind date on Saturday.Very nervous!Still can`t be as bad as the last date I had with my strange flatmate(she is still obsessed with me) so I suppose that should give me some reason for optimism.And no my date is not Stevie Wonder

......even if it turns out she has Tourettes??

[Sean 6,337]

 

I have a blind date on Saturday.Very nervous!Still can`t be as bad as the last date I had with my strange flatmate(she is still obsessed with me) so I suppose that should give me some reason for optimism.And no my date is not Stevie Wonder

good luck and if things go bad on the date pull this gem. I lost my teddy bear,will you sleep with me.

 

No that wouldn`t work due to her job.She has access to teddies like that so could just get me another one

[Sean 6,337]

 

I have a blind date on Saturday.Very nervous!Still can`t be as bad as the last date I had with my strange flatmate(she is still obsessed with me) so I suppose that should give me some reason for optimism.And no my date is not Stevie Wonder

......even if it turns out she has Tourettes??

 

Yes tourettes would be an improvement on the last one.If she had Tourettes I am pretty sure she would have been fired from her job though!