DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

[Scraggy Taters 290]

Mind you, come to think of it I could get away with 'anus onions'.

 

It does have a nice ring to it.

[deadsox 894]

Mind you, come to think of it I could get away with 'anus onions'.

 

It does have a nice ring to it.

 

I can hardly believe I'm responding to this but since the onion was red and not brown, I'll go with the vagina as the source.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

 

Mind you, come to think of it I could get away with 'anus onions'.

 

It does have a nice ring to it.

 

I can hardly believe I'm responding to this but since the onion was red and not brown, I'll go with the vagina as the source.

 

If you think an anus can't bleed, you obviously haven't really gotten the most out of the internet.

[RadGuy 1,614]

I have a strong feeling that somebody incredibly famous will die in 2016 or 2017.

[Deathray 2,940]

Could they onion not have been up that ladies backside to stop her farting? Maybe she thought if it works for dead chickens and turkeys it'll work for me?

[Spade_Cooley 9,537]

 

 

Mind you, come to think of it I could get away with 'anus onions'.

 

It does have a nice ring to it.

 

I can hardly believe I'm responding to this but since the onion was red and not brown, I'll go with the vagina as the source.

 

If you think an anus can't bleed, you obviously haven't really gotten the most out of the internet.

 

 

The dude from "One Guy One Jar" for DL 2017?

[charon 4,943]

 

'Jar' ?

 

 

 

Anyhoo , websites named and shamed for abusing/bullying children.

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/tech/social-media-sites-named-shamed-7696246

 

 

We're not on it , I feel we need to up our game.

[deadsox 894]

 

 

Mind you, come to think of it I could get away with 'anus onions'.

 

It does have a nice ring to it.

 

I can hardly believe I'm responding to this but since the onion was red and not brown, I'll go with the vagina as the source.

 

If you think an anus can't bleed, you obviously haven't really gotten the most out of the internet.

 

 

It seems quite obvious that any body part can bleed. I'm considering probability not possibility. But yes, I'm sure I haven't gotten the "most" out of the internet.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Any of our American chums care to enlighten us on the British celebrity threesome participant?

[charon 4,943]

 

You'd need to be a right rocket , man, to get round an injunction.

 

 

For help, and perfect for deadpoolers ,

 

 

http://www.google.com/ncr

 

Is Google ncr , 'no country restrictions'.

[Deathray 2,940]

 

If your child is active on a social networking site you’ve never heard of, the chances are they’re only a few clicks away from violent, sexual or traumatising content.

 

Are they fucking kidding. My mum hadn't heard of Reddit, Digg, Instagram or Tumble when I was growing up. Let the fucking delicate little flowers find their on way on the internet, they're probably a few estates away from a rapist/pedophile/violent individual, fraudster or robber when they walk down the street, should we lock kids indoors?

 

 

One hundred per cent of children surveyed reported finding shocking and upsetting material on Sickipedia, a site which prides itself on containing “the most offensive and politically incorrect jokes and puns” available.

 

Oh really you logged on to Sickipedia and found offensive content. That's the whole point. Ever since I was at school I've had jokes read off sickipedia to me in various places, none of us have ever felt the need to be protected from the jokes. Kids are seeking that stuff out.

 

 

On video messaging sites Chatroulette and Omegle, 92 per cent and 89 per cent of children found inappropriate content, while on Ask.fm the figure was 88 per cent.

 

This is hardly a new issue at all. I'm 20 and I don't remember at time when Omegle and Chatroullete were anything but dicks and tits. Anybody who actually wants to communicate with friends for plutonic reasons uses Skype or Video Calls them and due to those sites reputations no-ones going to actually try and meet people through them (maybe in the text chat, but that's full of bored trolls). Omegle have tried clamping down on the issue in the past, but there's only so much they can do. As one of the kids interviewed in that article said, "At 13, being connected online with a stranger, for no better reason than they decided to log on at the same time, was a cheap thrill. Now, at 17, my friends and I know only too well what to expect from social media sites like Omegle or Chatroulette." - Eventually you just avoid those sites, you grow out of it or are a consenting party (if you're both 18 there's no issue, knowing for certain that's the case is the muddy part) - seeking more mature porn. Adults who use them to exploit kids are the issue, not the children themselves seeking a cheap thrill.

[Grim Up North 3,726]

 

One of my work colleagues copped off with a woman he met in his local pub last night.

After spending the night with her, they went their separate ways (as ya do) and while he was tidying his bed up this morning, he found a (golf-ball sized) soggy red onion under his duvet. He swears there was no onion the day before as he doesn't eat raw onions & hadn't bought any for months.

 

Well, no prizes for guessing where that had been....

Just.....why?

 

I've always thought red onions go nicely with tuna.

[Deathray 2,940]

You'd need to be a right rocket , man, to get round an injunction.

 

 

For help, and perfect for deadpoolers ,

 

 

http://www.google.com/ncr

 

Is Google ncr , 'no country restrictions'.

 

Even under that link it only seems to show the British indexes.

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

Any of our American chums care to enlighten us on the British Canadian celebrity threesome participant?

I can furnish you with the details.

[Toast 16,144]

Anybody who actually wants to communicate with friends for plutonic reasons uses Skype or Video Calls

 

 

Which one?

 

[time 8,618]

 

Anybody who actually wants to communicate with friends for plutonic reasons uses Skype or Video Calls

 

 

Which one?

 

 

Hopefully not this one.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Thanks Charon and Cat, I think I have guessed now - the images you have put in my mind are some that will not leave me for some time

[Deathray 2,940]

Well there's a word I've been misspelling my entire life, platonic not plutonic apparently?

[charon 4,943]

 

Easy way to remember it deathers, it is derived from 'platinum' which is non magnetic. Ie no attraction.

[The Dead Cow 620]

Easy way to remember it deathers, it is derived from 'platinum' which is non magnetic. Ie no attraction.

 

I thought it derived from Plato, he wrote about love.in The Symposium

[charon 4,943]

 

Fuck up

[charon 4,943]

Thanks Charon and Cat, I think I have guessed now - the images you have put in my mind are some that will not leave me for some time

Lardy, a handy quide (not by our handy obviously) to seeing through the injunctions.

 

 

http://popbitch.com/home/2016/03/31/up-the-injunction/

 

 

Nice bit about the gruniad journo and how it works.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

I swear this country is becoming so Islamicised, even when The Fat Lump™ lazily mumbles "Hello" to me in the mornings it sounds more like "Allah" every week.

[Deathray 2,940]

A mahoosive death is imminent, I feel it in my bones.

[RadGuy 1,614]

A mahoosive death is imminent, I feel it in my bones.

At this point you're just doing this to annoy us.