DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

[Sean 6,337]

If I make it through this would love a massive DL meet up.Nothing special just a drink in a pub anywhere.Figure we will all need something to celebrate when this nightmare is over.

[Deathray 2,941]

15 minutes ago, Sean said:

If I make it through this would love a massive DL meet up.Nothing special just a drink in a pub anywhere.Figure we will all need something to celebrate when this nightmare is over.

 

When this is all over the last place anybody should be going for at least 6 months is the pub. Just in case. 

[YoungWillz 21,062]

Virus insanity continues.

 

Went to the local supermarket today to pick up some milk and my £4.50 National Lottery winnings. Took the cash out of my pocket for the milk. Then I said, claim my lottery winnings, removing my tickets from the same pocket. Oh no, we are not doing that, says the sales assistant, recoiling in horror as though the tickets were the tickets to Hades. But you are selling tickets? I ask. Oh yes. Well I don't want any, if I can't claim, as I shuffle off.

 

So the fuckers will sell you a ticket but not allow you to claim your shitty prize.

 

Went down the road, local shop said yes, fine pay you your prize. Fine say I, here's another 50p just use it for a couple of Euromillions for tonight.

 

I know where my business is going after this is all over.

[Toast 16,151]

There is a mouse in my car again.

On Monday I spotted a bag of bread flour which I knew a friend was after, so I bought it and left it in the car to decontaminate.

Went to retrieve it today and there was a hole in it

 

But there was a silver lining.  Searching through the side pocket in the drivers door for peppermint oil, I found my long-lost favourite knife, which I had believed to have gone into the bin with veg peelings. 

[torbrexbones 717]

What a time for my brother's cancer to return.

That in itself would be bad enough news but right now it is just awful. He has been put on meds rather than having to go into hospital for the injections which rightly would be more effective in halting the growth until such a time that radiotherapy can be arranged.

It seems that hospital is the most dangerous thing for him at the moment.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

16 hours ago, Toast said:

There is a mouse in my car again.

On Monday I spotted a bag of bread flour which I knew a friend was after, so I bought it and left it in the car to decontaminate.

Went to retrieve it today and there was a hole in it

 

But there was a silver lining.  Searching through the side pocket in the drivers door for peppermint oil, I found my long-lost favourite knife, which I had believed to have gone into the bin with veg peelings. 

You are lucky.

If you hadn't have found that knife that mouse might have attacked you with it.

Now just go and look again, you might have left a hammer under the seat it could smash you over the head with.

Mice are as hard as fuck!

[Toast 16,151]

17 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

You are lucky.

If you hadn't have found that knife that mouse might have attacked you with it.

Now just go and look again, you might have left a hammer under the seat it could smash you over the head with.

Mice are as hard as fuck!

 

Well, of course the worry is that they might chew through something important, eg wiring or cables.  Poor little buggers have to keep chewing because their teeth never stop growing.  That, and their lack of a sphincter means there is a trail of wee wherever they go.  Appalling design from the Creator.

 

I first became aware that I had lodgers in the car last year when I bought something fragile.  I keep a fleece blanket in the boot for various contingencies, and when I took it out to wrap the item I discovered that it had been well shredded.  A cosy nest for someone!  Since then I've had the cleanest boot space in the county.

[Deathray 2,941]

1 hour ago, Toast said:

 

Well, of course the worry is that they might chew through something important, eg wiring or cables.  Poor little buggers have to keep chewing because their teeth never stop growing.  That, and their lack of a sphincter means there is a trail of wee wherever they go.  Appalling design from the Creator.

 

I first became aware that I had lodgers in the car last year when I bought something fragile.  I keep a fleece blanket in the boot for various contingencies, and when I took it out to wrap the item I discovered that it had been well shredded.  A cosy nest for someone!  Since then I've had the cleanest boot space in the county.

 

I mean this might be a revolutionary idea but you could just not leave food in your fucking car...... that tends to stop mice and rodents.....

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

1 hour ago, Toast said:

 

Well, of course the worry is that they might chew through something important, eg wiring or cables.  Poor little buggers have to keep chewing because their teeth never stop growing.  That, and their lack of a sphincter means there is a trail of wee wherever they go.  Appalling design from the Creator.

 

I first became aware that I had lodgers in the car last year when I bought something fragile.  I keep a fleece blanket in the boot for various contingencies, and when I took it out to wrap the item I discovered that it had been well shredded.  A cosy nest for someone!  Since then I've had the cleanest boot space in the county.

Aye, there used to be another lady who had the same problem, RIP.....

[Toast 16,151]

18 minutes ago, Deathray said:

 

I mean this might be a revolutionary idea but you could just not leave food in your fucking car...... that tends to stop mice and rodents.....

 

Usually I don't!  It was a single item I bought for someone else, and I left it there because there was no need to bring it into my house.   Which I would have done in normal circumstances, but everything in shops is potentially infected at the moment. 

[Toast 16,151]

14 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Aye, there used to be another lady who had the same problem, RIP.....

 

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That'll probably be me one day ....

[ladyfiona 2,593]

3 hours ago, torbrexbones said:

What a time for my brother's cancer to return.

That in itself would be bad enough news but right now it is just awful. He has been put on meds rather than having to go into hospital for the injections which rightly would be more effective in halting the growth until such a time that radiotherapy can be arranged.

It seems that hospital is the most dangerous thing for him at the moment.

 

I wish your brother well. I know at the hospital I work at we have a mobile breast screening unit but due to the virus it is currently not in use. My neighbour has a non cancerous (I assume) growth on her brain which they were monitoring and they were due to operate, however due to the virus they need to free space up in ICU etc. So now the operation won't be until maybe later in the year.

[Skinny kiltrunner 553]

5 hours ago, torbrexbones said:

What a time for my brother's cancer to return.

That in itself would be bad enough news but right now it is just awful. He has been put on meds rather than having to go into hospital for the injections which rightly would be more effective in halting the growth until such a time that radiotherapy can be arranged.

It seems that hospital is the most dangerous thing for him at the moment.

Man, that's rough. You are right- do NOT get sick or injured right now. I know an older lady (no, not THEoldlady) who fell a few days ago. Fractured her wrist badly, and should have had it set and pinned. All they were willing to do  was splint it and let it heal in a fucked up position because the surgery was considered 'elective', meaning she wouldn't die without it. 

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

5 hours ago, Toast said:

 

have to keep chewing because their teeth never stop growing.  That, and their lack of a sphincter means there is a trail of wee wherever they go.

 

 

Jesus THAT’S IT! I’m a FUCKING MOUSE! 

[TQR 14,402]

An irritating cough since about midday yesterday? Check.

Feeling all hot and shivery? Check.

In need of my asthma inhaler? Check.

Remarkable lethargy and aches? Check.

Noticeably reduced sense of smell? Check.

Temperature this morning? Checked. 38.1C. Fuckity buggers.

 

I'm slightly puzzled and peeved given how I've been doing distancing but there we have it. I blame Tesco.

[Grim Up North 3,727]

59 minutes ago, The Quim Reaper said:

An irritating cough since about midday yesterday? Check.

Feeling all hot and shivery? Check.

In need of my asthma inhaler? Check.

Remarkable lethargy and aches? Check.

Noticeably reduced sense of smell? Check.

Temperature this morning? Checked. 38.1C. Fuckity buggers.

 

I'm slightly puzzled and peeved given how I've been doing distancing but there we have it. I blame Tesco.

Get well soon Quim - hope you get a mild dose.

 

Cheers, GUN

[TQR 14,402]

On 17/04/2020 at 14:11, Grim Up North said:

Get well soon Quim - hope you get a mild dose.

 

Cheers, GUN

 

Thanks GUN, it's a horrendous bore but it could demonstrably be a fuck side worse!

 

I hope you're feeling better, by the way?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Cat O hasn't been around for nearly two weeks.

I hope the fella is ok.

[Deathray 2,941]

1 hour ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Cat O hasn't been around for nearly two weeks.

I hope the fella is ok.

 

Why beat around the fucking Bush - not like you to be a soft cunt. 

 

Probably got Covid tbh.... And if he has it's a pity but more than likely quite a few on here's gonna get it. (to be honest there's a few on here I'd actively wish it upon, need to go grab the voodoo dolls) 

 

Cat disappears for months regularly anyway so he'll probably (on the 50/50 he's not tanked up to a ventilator) turn up in a month or so... 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

1 minute ago, Deathray said:

 

Why beat around the fucking Bush - not like you to be a soft cunt. 

 

Probably got Covid tbh.... And if he has it's a pity but more than likely quite a few on here's gonna get it. (to be honest there's a few on here I'd actively wish it upon, need to go grab the voodoo dolls) 

 

Cat disappears for months regularly anyway so he'll probably (on the 50/50 he's not tanked up to a ventilator) turn up in a month or so... 

Yes, I have it.

Yeah, there are the odd one or two here who I couldn't give two fucks about but I like Cat, he is a good un.

I don't wish ill on people I like.

[Deathray 2,941]

1 minute ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Yes, I have it.

Yeah, there are the odd one or two here who I couldn't give two fucks about but I like Cat, he is a good un.

I don't wish ill on people I like.

 

I didn't say I wished it on Cat you dense tosser re-read my post. Just bluntly your really saying 'I hope he hasn' t got ill or anything'. 

 

As I said he has a habit of fucking off for months at a time with no explanation so I wouldn't worry that much. Don't see the point in panicking cos people who often dissappear have disappeared just because of Covid. 

 

Someone on here might have him on Facebook I guess? 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

3 minutes ago, Deathray said:

 

I didn't say I wished it on Cat you dense tosser re-read my post. Just bluntly your really saying 'I hope he hasn' t got ill or anything'. 

 

As I said he has a habit of fucking off for months at a time with no explanation so I wouldn't worry that much. Don't see the point in panicking cos people who often dissappear have disappeared just because of Covid. 

 

Someone on here might have him on Facebook I guess? 

I'm far from dense,  I know exactly what you wrote.

I agreed with you regarding the odd one or two on here, I was merely saying that I hoped he was ok.

That's all.

[Deathray 2,941]

11 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

I'm far from dense,  I know exactly what you wrote.

I agreed with you regarding the odd one or two on here, I was merely saying that I hoped he was ok.

That's all.

 

If it makes you feel better to kid yourself your not a thick cunt then fine. The fact you blatantly missed the point is evident to anyone whose dementia a hasn't set in yet. Tosspot. 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

30 minutes ago, Deathray said:

 

If it makes you feel better to kid yourself your not a thick cunt then fine. The fact you blatantly missed the point is evident to anyone whose dementia a hasn't set in yet. Tosspot. 

Pick a fight with somebody else.

I'm not interested.

[Deathray 2,941]

4 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Pick a fight with somebody else.

I'm not interested.

 

I'm not picking a fight with anyone in particular. I'm here to piss everybody off equally, I consider it my public duty to the forum to rub every cunt on here up the wrong way.