Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted October 27, 2009 ..................Tumbleweed...................... Sometimes this place seems to be emptier than Gazzas drinks cabinet. Thank you LFN 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
To die for 3 Posted October 28, 2009 I'm tired, bored, I can't be arsed to add air conditioning to room 101, and that cunting swear filter has stopped me using more polite swear words. Whatever.... Why doesn't someone consign that word to Portsmouth? Am I rambling? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted October 28, 2009 I'm tired, bored, I can't be arsed to add air conditioning to room 101, and that cunting swear filter has stopped me using more polite swear words. Whatever.... Why doesn't someone consign that word to Portsmouth? Am I rambling? Im very impressed that you managed to get cunting past the filter. Its a word far more vulgar than f'uck but it gets through, utter bollocks!!! I think you are pulling the piss a bit by trying to add Air Con to Room 101, this forum really doesnt need such luxuries, besides why the f'uck should that room be given it when my house hasnt got it? If you are chucking it out TDF, dont stick it in Room 101, give it to me!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted October 28, 2009 I'm tired, bored, I can't be arsed to add air conditioning to room 101, and that cunting swear filter has stopped me using more polite swear words. Whatever.... Why doesn't someone consign that word to Portsmouth? Am I rambling? Im very impressed that you managed to get Portsmouth past the filter. Its a word far more vulgar than f'uck but it gets through, utter bollocks!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted October 29, 2009 I'm tired, bored, I can't be arsed to add air conditioning to room 101, and that cunting swear filter has stopped me using more polite swear words. Whatever.... Why doesn't someone consign that word to Portsmouth? Am I rambling? Im very impressed that you managed to get Portsmouth past the filter. Its a word far more vulgar than f'uck but it gets through, utter bollocks!!! Tell you what Monkey, dont ever research your family tree, you may find that your great, great, great Auntie Gertrude used to swing her bag down at Portsmouth Docks......... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
To die for 3 Posted October 29, 2009 I'm tired, bored, I can't be arsed to add air conditioning to room 101, and that cunting swear filter has stopped me using more polite swear words. Whatever.... Why doesn't someone consign that word to Portsmouth? Am I rambling? Im very impressed that you managed to get cunting past the filter. Its a word far more vulgar than f'uck but it gets through, utter bollocks!!! I think you are pulling the piss a bit by trying to add Air Con to Room 101, this forum really doesnt need such luxuries, besides why the f'uck should that room be given it when my house hasnt got it? If you are chucking it out TDF, dont stick it in Room 101, give it to me!! Its at work, its on "heat" and I don't mean it makes the reptiles horny. I'm sorry but if I want to get hot and sweaty I'll ____________ with___________. Just use your imagination, can't be arsed to try to finding better words to get round the swear filter. Bollockshitwankbuggeryfuck! Ha, get your tight hole around that swear stoppers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 924 Posted October 29, 2009 I have air conditioning and none of you can have it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted November 24, 2009 One of my jobs today saw me visiting the local Crematorium. I cannot pretend that I felt anything other than queasy at the thought of going anywhere near that place,however, despite the work being outside of it, i did have to go inside to the offices to do my final tests. Walking in through the back you could have been forgiven if you assumed that is was like any other local Council building...until you felt the warmth and saw the arse ends of the two big " burners" sticking out of the walls, happily chugging away. The point to my ramble? I feel a sense of hopelessness. As an example. We have seen those soldiers driven through the streets of Wiltshire, draped in their Countrys colours, the people turning out to salute them, their families shattered but dignified and seen the final act of saying goodbye before they are laid to rest. The reality, however, is that when all that is done, they are either shoved into a giant oven and burnt to a crisp, their remains scooped up, with what looks like a chip scooper you would find at McDonalds, shoved into an Urn and handed over to their loved ones or they are lowered into the ground where they will decay rapidly. Either way, its fucking horrible. I dont see the dignity in death, the act leading up to it, yes, the mourning and memory, yes, but everything else, well.... Ive rambled on enough. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
John Kettley 49 Posted November 24, 2009 One of my jobs today saw me visiting the local Crematorium.I cannot pretend that I felt anything other than queasy at the thought of going anywhere near that place,however, despite the work being outside of it, i did have to go inside to the offices to do my final tests. Walking in through the back you could have been forgiven if you assumed that is was like any other local Council building...until you felt the warmth and saw the arse ends of the two big " burners" sticking out of the walls, happily chugging away. The point to my ramble? I feel a sense of hopelessness. As an example. We have seen those soldiers driven through the streets of Wiltshire, draped in their Countrys colours, the people turning out to salute them, their families shattered but dignified and seen the final act of saying goodbye before they are laid to rest. The reality, however, is that when all that is done, they are either shoved into a giant oven and burnt to a crisp, their remains scooped up, with what looks like a chip scooper you would find at McDonalds, shoved into an Urn and handed over to their loved ones or they are lowered into the ground where they will decay rapidly. Either way, its fucking horrible. I dont see the dignity in death, the act leading up to it, yes, the mourning and memory, yes, but everything else, well.... Ive rambled on enough. At least with those deaths you kept nice and toasty. It's been a bit nippy lately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted November 24, 2009 One of my jobs today saw me visiting the local Crematorium.I cannot pretend that I felt anything other than queasy at the thought of going anywhere near that place,however, despite the work being outside of it, i did have to go inside to the offices to do my final tests. Walking in through the back you could have been forgiven if you assumed that is was like any other local Council building...until you felt the warmth and saw the arse ends of the two big " burners" sticking out of the walls, happily chugging away. The point to my ramble? I feel a sense of hopelessness. As an example. We have seen those soldiers driven through the streets of Wiltshire, draped in their Countrys colours, the people turning out to salute them, their families shattered but dignified and seen the final act of saying goodbye before they are laid to rest. The reality, however, is that when all that is done, they are either shoved into a giant oven and burnt to a crisp, their remains scooped up, with what looks like a chip scooper you would find at McDonalds, shoved into an Urn and handed over to their loved ones or they are lowered into the ground where they will decay rapidly. Either way, its fucking horrible. I dont see the dignity in death, the act leading up to it, yes, the mourning and memory, yes, but everything else, well.... Ive rambled on enough. In the words of the mighty Ted 'Theodore' Logan, all we are is dust in the wind, dude. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Terminator 13 Posted November 24, 2009 One of my jobs today saw me visiting the local Crematorium.I cannot pretend that I felt anything other than queasy at the thought of going anywhere near that place,however, despite the work being outside of it, i did have to go inside to the offices to do my final tests. Walking in through the back you could have been forgiven if you assumed that is was like any other local Council building...until you felt the warmth and saw the arse ends of the two big " burners" sticking out of the walls, happily chugging away. The point to my ramble? I feel a sense of hopelessness. As an example. We have seen those soldiers driven through the streets of Wiltshire, draped in their Countrys colours, the people turning out to salute them, their families shattered but dignified and seen the final act of saying goodbye before they are laid to rest. The reality, however, is that when all that is done, they are either shoved into a giant oven and burnt to a crisp, their remains scooped up, with what looks like a chip scooper you would find at McDonalds, shoved into an Urn and handed over to their loved ones or they are lowered into the ground where they will decay rapidly. Either way, its fucking horrible. I dont see the dignity in death, the act leading up to it, yes, the mourning and memory, yes, but everything else, well.... Ive rambled on enough. I understand that the hip joint - because of its density - survives the cremation (although "brittled" by the flames). It is the actual survivng bones that are then ground down and THOSE ashes are presented to the family. A mate of mine is an undertaker. His surname is DEADMAN and he, until recently, worked alongside a Mr WIDOWS. I told him their joint names would be perfect for a funeral parlour.. When One Man Jury's mum passed away and, following the service, he wanted to give a tip to the pall bearers. They told him to wait for their boss.....Mr SLEEP. It's interesting that a surname can influence your profession. There are many instances of Dr Slaughter, Dr Butcher etc.... Anyhow, Mr Deadman is one of the most genuine people I know. He also is the Welfare Officer at my local British Legion and visits members at home and in hospital to ensure they have all that they need......the problem is he fits this in straight after work. The last thing ill members need to wake up to is an undertaker (in full gear) hovering over their bed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted January 24, 2010 OMG! Brad and Angelina have split up! I'm gutted! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted January 24, 2010 OMG! Brad and Angelina have split up! I'm gutted! I am relieved that it seems that it's Pitt that's blown Jolie out. If it had been the other way round, I'd have feared for the future of men. I mean if Brad Pitt can be dumped... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 7,925 Posted January 25, 2010 OMG! Brad and Angelina have split up! I'm gutted! Are you sure its not just a "Johnny Depp dead"-type rumour? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted January 25, 2010 OMG! Brad and Angelina have split up! I'm gutted! Are you sure its not just a "Johnny Depp dead"-type rumour? I don't know (and to be quite honest, I don't really care either way, I'm just messing with y'all) but if it is true, and he goes back to that fat-chinned, gormless, talentless waste of oxygen Maniston, then he has truly lost his marbles. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 25, 2010 OMG! Brad and Angelina have split up! I'm gutted! I am relieved that it seems that it's Pitt that's blown Jolie out. If it had been the other way round, I'd have feared for the future of men. I mean if Brad Pitt can be dumped... Well if I was in Brad Pitts shoes, Angelina could blow me anyway she wanted..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 28, 2010 Is it just me or has the forum become a bit shite of late? Its got bog all to do with posting quality, before anybody brings that old chestnut up. Its gone off the boil, or summat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted January 28, 2010 Is it just me or has the forum become a bit shite of late?Its got bog all to do with posting quality, before anybody brings that old chestnut up. Its gone off the boil, or summat. All the quality posters are too busy at work doing proper jobs to post here. What's your excuse? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 28, 2010 Is it just me or has the forum become a bit shite of late?Its got bog all to do with posting quality, before anybody brings that old chestnut up. Its gone off the boil, or summat. All the quality posters are too busy at work doing proper jobs to post here. What's your excuse? Dear Ninja Today is my day off. I shall be back at work tomorrow and Saturday. While at work, doing my proper job, I shall not have time to access the t'internet ( not that I can access the DL boards as its blocked for reasons of taste) because I will be too busy working trying to restore/provide service/ and trying to sort out problems with peoples Broadband circuits. Thanks to people like me, you are able to get the t'internet in places where you cant even get fucking gas.... So there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,783 Posted January 28, 2010 Thanks to people like me, you are able to get the t'internet in places where you cant even get fucking gas.... Fucking gas? Why haven't I heard of this? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted January 28, 2010 Is it just me or has the forum become a bit shite of late?Its got bog all to do with posting quality, before anybody brings that old chestnut up. Its gone off the boil, or summat. All the quality posters are too busy at work doing proper jobs to post here. What's your excuse? Dear Ninja Today is my day off. I shall be back at work tomorrow and Saturday. While at work, doing my proper job, I shall not have time to access the t'internet ( not that I can access the DL boards as its blocked for reasons of taste) because I will be too busy working trying to restore/provide service/ and trying to sort out problems with peoples Broadband circuits. Thanks to people like me, you are able to get the t'internet in places where you cant even get fucking gas.... So there. Yeh, and thanks to people like me, people like you get your asses wiped for you when you're too old to bend over - so that'll be about now then Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 28, 2010 Is it just me or has the forum become a bit shite of late?Its got bog all to do with posting quality, before anybody brings that old chestnut up. Its gone off the boil, or summat. All the quality posters are too busy at work doing proper jobs to post here. What's your excuse? Dear Ninja Today is my day off. I shall be back at work tomorrow and Saturday. While at work, doing my proper job, I shall not have time to access the t'internet ( not that I can access the DL boards as its blocked for reasons of taste) because I will be too busy working trying to restore/provide service/ and trying to sort out problems with peoples Broadband circuits. Thanks to people like me, you are able to get the t'internet in places where you cant even get fucking gas.... So there. Yeh, and thanks to people like me, people like you get your asses wiped for you when you're too old to bend over - so that'll be about now then Bastard! Anyway, so long as its wiped from front to back, I wont mind. I dont want poo on my testicles, thank you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 9,981 Posted January 28, 2010 Yeh, and thanks to people like me, people like you get your asses wiped for you when you're too old to bend over - so that'll be about now then Next time you see Patrick Moore could you ask him to reply to the e-mail I sent this week? Cheers Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted January 28, 2010 Yeh, and thanks to people like me, people like you get your asses wiped for you when you're too old to bend over - so that'll be about now then Next time you see Patrick Moore could you ask him to reply to the e-mail I sent this week? Cheers Urgh. The thought of Patrick Moore's senile brown-eye has made me feel slightly.........aroused? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Tdf Posted January 29, 2010 London gateway services is a shit- hole Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
