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Lord Fellatio Nelson

DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

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The more I read about Ricky Gervais, the more I hear about Ricky Gervais, the more he appears to be up his own arsehole.

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1 hour ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

The more I read about Ricky Gervais, the more I hear about Ricky Gervais, the more he appears to be up his own arsehole.


A thousand times yes. Arrogant wanker. I was well pissed off when I enjoyed After Life.

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2 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

The more I read about Ricky Gervais, the more I hear about Ricky Gervais, the more he appears to be up his own arsehole.

Can't argue with that observation.

56 minutes ago, TQR said:


A thousand times yes. Arrogant wanker. I was well pissed off when I enjoyed After Life.

I haven't watched After Life. I loved The Office & Extras, didn't mind Life's Too Short, but haven't got on with anything since. I gave up with David Brent: A Life on the Road after about half an hour. Tedious.

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11 minutes ago, time said:

Can't argue with that observation.

I haven't watched After Life. I loved The Office & Extras, didn't mind Life's Too Short, but haven't got on with anything since. I gave up with David Brent: A Life on the Road after about half an hour. Tedious.


Never thought much of most of his work, Derek being another one that I wanted to get into but didn’t. His stand up has always been toss. Only After Life and An Idiot Abroad (though that is only for Karl Pilkington) get a good review from me.

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I watched the first series of Afterlife but didn't like it.  His character was unlikeable and the liberal use of foul language seemed out of place.

 

On another subject, I took the dog to the vet for some routine stuff.  Afterwards I parked outside a Tesco Express and nipped in to get some milk.

When I came out, I noticed that one of the front tyres was nearly flat.  Worrying, as I'd put some air in a couple of days ago.

Then my stomach gave a lurch - the back seat was empty.  :blink:

Someone's kidnapped the dog!  :o

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I noticed that it wasn't my car :facepalm:

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After that horrendously upsetting clip being circulated. RSPCA have removed Kunt Zouma’s two cats.

 

Frankly they should also have removed his cock and stapled it to his head.

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As I understand it QVC are considering marketing a Kurt Zouma scarecrow for people that want to keep cats out of their gardens.

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This Zouma cat thing made me think of Panamanian footballer Luis Moreno, who fatally attacked an injured owl, eventually resulting in a sentence of community service at a zoo.

 

 

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I have not watched the cat kicking video and have no wish to do so but on the basis of one social media video the court of public opinion has resulted in an apology, a fine and the loss of sponsorship of the individual and the club. Whereas evidence of wrongdoing with multiple sources by the Prime Minister cannot be judged until almost every person in Britain has written a report about the events

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Well it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I have been complimented on my grasp of English by... Americans.

 

Wow, thanks. Imagine living in England, bouncing around Scotland and Ireland and speaking, umm, English all that time that I'd be so good at speaking this language!

 

 

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6 hours ago, Boudicca said:

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I have been complimented on my grasp of English by... Americans.

 

Wow, thanks. Imagine living in England, bouncing around Scotland and Ireland and speaking, umm, English all that time that I'd be so good at speaking this language!

 

 

Have you been mistaken for a Canadian/Aussie yet?

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It isn't every day you walk into the kitchen to be informed ''and I've removed the massive fucking bell end!' 

 

Today was that day.

 

Admittedly from the ridiculous lighting fixture he is way too tall for. BUT. 

 

If only we could deploy this skill in the international arena. 

20220227_133128.jpg

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Sage advice from St John’s ambulance.

 

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The colour card shelf at B&Q is very helpful, whether you’re choosing a new colour for your hallway or if you’re looking for a nickname for your anus.

 

4872E322-980E-4725-94BE-F984A45314B6.thumb.jpeg.4dede04228dfc6a533bfaeb85c752a6c.jpeg

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Picked my car up a matter of days ago but thanks to the Sahara blowing its load all over us the thing already looks like it has driven through a giant rectum. FFS.

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3 hours ago, TQR said:

Picked my car up a matter of days ago but thanks to the Sahara blowing its load all over us the thing already looks like it has driven through a giant rectum. FFS.

You should be more worried about coming out to it in the morning and finding it sitting on bricks.

Happened to me, Ford Sierra Ghia, Pitsea, February 1992. :lol:

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5 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

You should be more worried about coming out to it in the morning and finding it sitting on bricks.

Happened to me, Ford Sierra Ghia, Pitsea, February 1992. :lol:


A Ghia? Someone was doing well!

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5 minutes ago, TQR said:


A Ghia? Someone was doing well!

Nah, it was 8 years old!

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6 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Nah, it was 8 years old!


Which, by Pitsea standards, practically makes you aristocracy.

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I became a grandad yesterday to a little boy - everyone well.

 

I feel blissfully content.

 

PS: It's 'Observations' not 'Obsevations' .

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1 hour ago, Grim Up North said:

I became a grandad yesterday to a little boy - everyone well.

 

I feel blissfully content.

 

PS: It's 'Observations' not 'Obsevations' .


Ah, Gramps Up North! Congrats and best wishes to the GUN fam:party: 

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1 hour ago, Grim Up North said:

I became a grandad yesterday to a little boy - everyone well.

 

I feel blissfully content.

 

PS: It's 'Observations' not 'Obsevations' .

 

Congratulations, old chap!

 

I'll remember to stress the old chap bit from now on. :D

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10 hours ago, Grim Up North said:

I became a grandad yesterday to a little boy - everyone well.

 

I feel blissfully content.

 

PS: It's 'Observations' not 'Obsevations' .

I'm a grandad to two.

I never ever thought I would be called grandad, well apart from Lardy calling me it every so often.

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6 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

I'm a grandad to two.

I never ever thought I would be called grandad, well apart from Lardy calling me it every so often.

 

Got to be dunn.

 

 

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