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Lord Fellatio Nelson

DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

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1 hour ago, Bibliogryphon said:

Today is my Pearl (30th) Wedding Anniversary

Here's to the next 30+yrs.

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I woke up this morning to discover I now live in a city and not a town. Anybody else here love in one of the 8?

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23 minutes ago, Handrejka said:

I woke up this morning to discover I now live in a city and not a town. Anybody else here love in one of the 8?

That was meant to say live, but I think I will leave it.

Also I had no idea Colchester wasn't already a city.

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19 hours ago, Handrejka said:

I woke up this morning to discover I now live in a city and not a town. Anybody else here love in one of the 8?


With great power comes great responsibility.

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21 hours ago, Handrejka said:

I woke up this morning to discover I now live in a city and not a town. Anybody else here love in one of the 8?

Not in the latest 8, but I had a similar experience 20 or so years ago. I'm still getting used to it.

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21 hours ago, time said:

Not in the latest 8, but I had a similar experience 20 or so years ago. I'm still getting used to it.

Thanks. Did you notice much, if any change at all?

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Cunning move by Spurs to host the Rugby League Challenge Cup final yesterday.

 

There was actually Silverware on the premises!

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People who call Marks & Spencer “Marks & Sparks”. Why? Where is this from? And if the answer is simply that it rhymes, Mencer & Spencer sounds much better.

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42 minutes ago, TQR said:

People who call Marks & Spencer “Marks & Sparks”. Why? Where is this from? And if the answer is simply that it rhymes, Mencer & Spencer sounds much better.

It is clearly endorsed by the organisation as their loyalty card is called a Sparks card

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43 minutes ago, TQR said:

People who call Marks & Spencer “Marks & Sparks”. Why? Where is this from? And if the answer is simply that it rhymes, Mencer & Spencer sounds much better.

Apparently first used by the Sunday Times in the 60s purely for the rhyme.

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Just come back from attending the Indy 500, which is essentially F1 on steroids. Utterly crazy experience.

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Just now, TheSpinosaurus said:

Just come back from attending the Indy 500, which is essentially F1 without corners.


FTFY.

 

(In fairness, I’d like to go one day)

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Spent the afternoon lounging outside and reading some pocket diaries my nan found, belonging to her mum & dad, from 1943 & 1944. My great-grandad served in the RAF throughout WWII and my great-nan joined the WAAFs in 1942.
 

His were quite interesting, lots about work and, unsurprisingly, ‘Gerry’. But hers…wow. She died when I was 2, which is a shame as I absolutely LOVE her goss! Would’ve loved to chat about the partying and the drinking and the sheer number of men…she was engaged to five different blokes, one of whom while she started going out with my great-grandad, in the space of about 6 months. She was a right goer!

 

This is the side of the war I want to hear about :D

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Don't know where to put this, but Jesus wept.  These things are so obvious that most people have surely been doing them for years.

 

Cost of living: How can I save money on my food shop?

 

Also I disagree on some of the minor points.

"There's no point in buying more jars of pasta sauce if you've already got five of them in the cupboard."

There bloody well is if it's on offer and you use it a lot.

 

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1 hour ago, Toast said:

Don't know where to put this, but Jesus wept.  These things are so obvious that most people have surely been doing them for years.

 

Cost of living: How can I save money on my food shop?

 

Also I disagree on some of the minor points.

"There's no point in buying more jars of pasta sauce if you've already got five of them in the cupboard."

There bloody well is if it's on offer and you use it a lot.

 

 

Depends how much space is left in the kitchen! :D

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1 hour ago, Toast said:

Don't know where to put this, but Jesus wept.  These things are so obvious that most people have surely been doing them for years.

 

Cost of living: How can I save money on my food shop?

 

Also I disagree on some of the minor points.

"There's no point in buying more jars of pasta sauce if you've already got five of them in the cupboard."

There bloody well is if it's on offer and you use it a lot.

 

 

Yes they need to think laterally and come up with some new ideas. For example:-

 

Kill your spouse.

Forget to pick up the kids from a friend's house till after tea/dinner time.

Don't scan the really light things at the checkout and leave the ginger in the trolley - no one will notice.

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Grim Up North said:

Forget to pick up the kids from a friend's house till after tea/dinner time.

 

Using this strategy and eventually eating the kids could be a real saver in the long term.

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1 hour ago, Grim Up North said:

Don't scan the really light things at the checkout and leave the ginger in the trolley - no one will notice.

 

I used to take my crotchety old neighbour shopping once a week.  He would regularly put an item - usually one of those hot roast chickens from the deli - in the child seat part of the trolley and "forget" to unload it at the checkout.  He often got away with it. 

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Was going to post this in Death in the Family, but it's more of a :wheelchair: than a :rip:.

 

4 weeks ago, a woman walked into the cycle lane and knocked my dad off his bike. Major trauma to his hip/pelvic region. Got put back together with plates and screws. Lost 4 pints of blood. Was sent on his merry way as soon as he could walk on crutches. Came back in 3 days later in a cold sweat, deteriorated rapidly and went on ventilator and induced coma. He'd only went and got sepsis. Kidneys and liver shut down. Legs swelled right up and looked ready to fall off. Spent a fortnight in critical care. Underwent 4 more surgeries and had 10 more blood transfusions.

 

And that's where we are now. He's in a ward on IV antibiotics for the next 6 weeks. It's traumatic, but life goes on, and I've told the story 100 times.

 

We were about to spend some time unwinding in the South of France. Next thing I was thinking about his funeral. Cause I've seen how things go from reading the forum, and even the ICU nurses called him the "sickest man in the hospital". He survived, though, but it wasn't his fault that all of this happened. This woman stepped in front of him without looking, and yelled at him whilst he was lying on the road. Then she fled. Not sure if it was a compo scam gone wrong. We'll never know who she is. There are good people out there who have helped us though.

 

PXL_20220731_150348495.thumb.jpg.ed03ee75822d3d54b886493c5d223f3c.jpg

Had to pass this every day, lol...

 

Life lessons:
1. Think Bike.
2. Wear a helmet, it could save your life(!)
3. Give blood. The requirements are fairer nowadays.
4. Get good travel insurance.
5. There is no easy way to recognise sepsis. Infrequent urination, blotchy skin, fever, confusion, and a feeling of doom are just some of the signs. If you notice multiple symptoms, tell a doctor "I'm worried about sepsis".
6. If you're a manager, don't offer to send a laptop to your employee so they can work with tubes going into their nose, neck, both arms, both legs, stomach, side, hip, groin and more.
7. Don't lock yourself in a padded room. Yes, you might become one of The Dead of 2022. Shit happens.

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33 minutes ago, Clorox Bleachman said:

Was going to post this in Death in the Family, but it's more of a :wheelchair: than a :rip:.

 

4 weeks ago, a woman walked into the cycle lane and knocked my dad off his bike. Major trauma to his hip/pelvic region. Got put back together with plates and screws. Lost 4 pints of blood. Was sent on his merry way as soon as he could walk on crutches. Came back in 3 days later in a cold sweat, deteriorated rapidly and went on ventilator and induced coma. He'd only went and got sepsis. Kidneys and liver shut down. Legs swelled right up and looked ready to fall off. Spent a fortnight in critical care. Underwent 4 more surgeries and had 10 more blood transfusions.

 

And that's where we are now. He's in a ward on IV antibiotics for the next 6 weeks. It's traumatic, but life goes on, and I've told the story 100 times.

 

We were about to spend some time unwinding in the South of France. Next thing I was thinking about his funeral. Cause I've seen how things go from reading the forum, and even the ICU nurses called him the "sickest man in the hospital". He survived, though, but it wasn't his fault that all of this happened. This woman stepped in front of him without looking, and yelled at him whilst he was lying on the road. Then she fled. Not sure if it was a compo scam gone wrong. We'll never know who she is. There are good people out there who have helped us though.

 

PXL_20220731_150348495.thumb.jpg.ed03ee75822d3d54b886493c5d223f3c.jpg

Had to pass this every day, lol...

 

Life lessons:
1. Think Bike.
2. Wear a helmet, it could save your life(!)
3. Give blood. The requirements are fairer nowadays.
4. Get good travel insurance.
5. There is no easy way to recognise sepsis. Infrequent urination, blotchy skin, fever, confusion, and a feeling of doom are just some of the signs. If you notice multiple symptoms, tell a doctor "I'm worried about sepsis".
6. If you're a manager, don't offer to send a laptop to your employee so they can work with tubes going into their nose, neck, both arms, both legs, stomach, side, hip, groin and more.
7. Don't lock yourself in a padded room. Yes, you might become one of The Dead of 2022. Shit happens.

 

Hi Clorox - how terrible - best wishes to your dad, you and all friends and family that you all get through this.

 

Best wishes, GUN

 

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1 hour ago, Clorox Bleachman said:

Was going to post this in Death in the Family, but it's more of a :wheelchair: than a :rip:.

 

4 weeks ago, a woman walked into the cycle lane and knocked my dad off his bike. Major trauma to his hip/pelvic region. Got put back together with plates and screws. Lost 4 pints of blood. Was sent on his merry way as soon as he could walk on crutches. Came back in 3 days later in a cold sweat, deteriorated rapidly and went on ventilator and induced coma. He'd only went and got sepsis. Kidneys and liver shut down. Legs swelled right up and looked ready to fall off. Spent a fortnight in critical care. Underwent 4 more surgeries and had 10 more blood transfusions.

 

And that's where we are now. He's in a ward on IV antibiotics for the next 6 weeks. It's traumatic, but life goes on, and I've told the story 100 times.

 

We were about to spend some time unwinding in the South of France. Next thing I was thinking about his funeral. Cause I've seen how things go from reading the forum, and even the ICU nurses called him the "sickest man in the hospital". He survived, though, but it wasn't his fault that all of this happened. This woman stepped in front of him without looking, and yelled at him whilst he was lying on the road. Then she fled. Not sure if it was a compo scam gone wrong. We'll never know who she is. There are good people out there who have helped us though.

 

PXL_20220731_150348495.thumb.jpg.ed03ee75822d3d54b886493c5d223f3c.jpg

Had to pass this every day, lol...

 

Life lessons:
1. Think Bike.
2. Wear a helmet, it could save your life(!)
3. Give blood. The requirements are fairer nowadays.
4. Get good travel insurance.
5. There is no easy way to recognise sepsis. Infrequent urination, blotchy skin, fever, confusion, and a feeling of doom are just some of the signs. If you notice multiple symptoms, tell a doctor "I'm worried about sepsis".
6. If you're a manager, don't offer to send a laptop to your employee so they can work with tubes going into their nose, neck, both arms, both legs, stomach, side, hip, groin and more.
7. Don't lock yourself in a padded room. Yes, you might become one of The Dead of 2022. Shit happens.


Fucking hell Clorox, that’s dreadful. Here’s hoping for a swift recovery for Clorox Sr. Love, solidarity and best wishes to you all. 

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I love Sandi Toksvig so much.
 

 

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1 hour ago, TQR said:

I love Sandi Toksvig so much.

 

I suspect you're not her type.

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1 hour ago, TQR said:

I love Sandi Toksvig so much.
 

 

The Archbish has RSVPed!

 

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