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Stallone retires from the army and becomes a butch sailor in Fist Blood and Rimbo.

 

Bruce Lee single handedly defeats the Nazis in Schindler's Fist.

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Marlon Brando howls his way through a steamy tale of feral felines in Street Cat Named Desire.

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In this alternative history classic a pregnant Hilary Clinton wins the presidential election and is convinced there's someone hiding in the corner of her office- The O-Shaped Room

 

Denzel Washington plays the witty intellectual black supremacist manager of the Sex Pistols who converts to islam and then to catholicism. And is then shot for his controversial views on The Life Of Brian. - Malcolm M

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A rare film peepshow that came out of the Vatican in - The naked nun

Two children accidentally kill a large purple dinosaur and spend the rest of the weekend pretending he's real in - A weekend at Barnie's

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Steve McQueen pulls off bank heist after being bullied at public school in The Thomas Brown Affair

 

Jack Nicholson stars as a stand-up comedian with a pretty short set in the The Two Jokes

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Richard Nixon reluctantly stars in a tale of political intrigue and needlecraft in How to Make an American Quit.

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Continental army officer leaves Meryl Streep to join Peter Gabriel in world music promotion in The French Lieutenants Womad

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Who let this thread die?! This is the funniest shit I've read in months.... Years!

 

On the verge of science discovering feasible time travel, the whole project gets bogged down in political red tape: "Interstaller".

 

A routine military test flight reveals a far greater threat than opposing human forces when the USAF is attacked by simians at 30,000 feet: "Dawn of the Planes of the Apes".

 

A man leaves his adoring family for a weekend holiday in Belarus only to return over a decade later: "12 Years a Slav".

 

Ben Affleck stars as a man who is constantly linked to women who keep disappearing -- albeit little by little -- as he has a fetish for anorexia: "Bone Girl".

 

Once the last of Angela McCourt's 'fahking cunts' (children) leaves home, she settles on three acres and begins raising livestock: "Angela's Asses".

 

Hey it's midnight, best I could do in 15 minutes top of my head. But this thread needed rebooting.

SC

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Bambi Woods returns from self-imposed anonymity to watch from the bushes as a younger generation follow the example she set in the eighties:

 

Debbie Dogs Dallas

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Guest awesome guest

I am a morbid fucker so I relax by watching an episode of tales from the crepe

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In a desperate late career attempt to rekindle their flagging careers Sly and Arnie are trapped in a room with a seemingly impenitrable wall of pastry and vegetable matter between themselves and freedom. Somehow they must devise a way to

 

Escape Flan

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How about some classic MGM Musicals?

 

Nelson Eddy isn't after his girl, it's what Jeanette MacDonald is wearing in The Girl Of The Golden Vest.

 

Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland do the show right there in the rehearsal room in Stroke Up The Band.

 

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello offer cracker based snacks to Kathryn Grayson down Mexico way in Rio Ritz.

 

Judy Garland and Angela Lansbury fight the sexism of Ray Bolger to become Hell's Angels in The Harley Girls.

 

Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse find love and music while working in the back room of a haberdashers in Silk Stackings.

 

Petula Clark changes Peter O'Toole's sexuality in Goodbye, Mr Chaps.

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Kangpin - The uplifting tale of how an alien from The Simpsons became a star in the ten-pin bowling world

 

Chevey Chase ditches his wife and kids to become a monk - National Lampoon's Vocation

 

Jim Carrey's wacky character travels back in time to mid-80s England and gets hired by a cunning Mrs. Thatcher to find dirt on Arthur Scargill - Ace Ventura: Pit Detective

 

Steven Seagal has to rescue film director Christopher Nolan when he is taken captive at a Batman fan convention - Under Siege 2: Dork Territory

 

Swimming with Shirks - Lifeguard Kevin Spacey invents a physical-therapy miracle for people crippled by ergophobia

 

Michael Winner directs Charles Bronson in a cheap Jaws knock-off - Death Fish

 

Geoffrey Boycott is falsely accused of murdering his wife and imprisoned. - Thy Shawshank Redemption

 

The shocking untold story of young Che and Castro's head-over-heels homosexual fling - The Motorcycle Fairies

 

Al Pacino plays a desperate man who storms the set of Time Team and takes everyone hostage - Dig Day Afternoon

 

In this tale of down-on-their-luck, washed-up creative-types, Chris Morris and three of his writer/director-type pals struggle against the odds to make a pitifully unfunny movie script work. - Four Loons

 

Sadistic Clint Eastwood tries to steer a troubled young Asian boy to an even more tragic life by turning him into a Juventus fan - Gran Turino

 

Neil Patrick Harris's house is swamped by a huge hoard of cast members from a 1997 sci-fi movie he was in, begging for money/help finding work - Starship Troupers

 

Tom Hanks goes undercover in Brighton to report on the lunatic schemes foisted on the people by the local council - The Green Mole

 

Paul Newman plays a cranky old vigilante with a sniper rifle, determined not to let any starving survivors loot a convenience store in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina - Nobody's Food

 

In this bizarre Lars Von Trier film, numerous Popes get elected and then forced out, when they all attempt to beatify the late Michael Elphick's penis. - The Boondick Saints

 

The Right Stiff - Before the Soviets sent dogs into space, they sent up corpses.

 

Nicolas Cage and Vin Diesel go brothel-hopping in Thailand - Gono In Sixty Seconds

 

Diane Abbot becomes leader of the Labour party and then against all odds, Prime Minister - Apocalypse Cow

 

The Grest Gatsby - An imprisoned Al Jazeera reporter's attempt to recreate the glamour of 1920s New York nightlife while banged up in a Cairo jail.

 

Two holidaying lesbians are held captive by a sadistic psycho - Fanny Games

 

Herman Wouk gets busted for kiddy fiddling on his 100th birthday - The Human Centipedo

 

Jack Nicholson travels back in time to stop the CEO of Google from ever being born - Abort Schmidt

 

Christian Bale plays a pressured 1970s New Jersey housewife trying to make it to the supermarket and post office and pick up her dry cleaning, and still get back in time to make tea for the kids - American Bustle

 

The story of how eager Hollywood talent spotters fast-tracked a young James Van Der Beek to his own show - Get Him to the Creek

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Animated Movies:

 

Doctors perform life saving surgery in a hot air balloon in Op.

 

Calligraphy becomes terrifying in Monsters Ink.

 

Top athlete admits drug taking in Despicable Mo.

 

Shorter musical numbers from Mowgli, Baloo et al in The Jingle Book.

 

Fawn joins a Mariachi Band in Bamba.

 

Savile's reputation is saved by a cartoon re-interpretation of his life in Fantastic Mr Fix.

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Jason Statham decides that stealing money can wait, first he needs a bit of relief: The Wank Job

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They're hopping mad in East Yorkshire in Raging Hull

 

Sean Connery returns as a tight-fisted Bond in You Only Give Twice

 

Tom Hanks discovers a half-woman, half rock guitarist in Slash

 

The American Space Program goes in search of the perfect tobacco in The Right Snuff

 

The Marx Brothers have no time for starters in Fuck Soup

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Max von Sydow goes blackface as a football icon in "Pele the Conquerer"

 

Tom Hanks spends a week of his life as a living glory hole in "The Greek Mile"

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Mortuary assistant Susan Sarandon gets a shock in Dead Man Talking

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I totally forgot about this thread...this was a fun game

 

Infrastructure planning goes awry when sewage treatment is diverted to water catchments in Reservoir Bogs.

 

Max gives up fighting the apocalypse to address Cane Toad pandemic in Mad Max: The Toad Warrior.

 

A woman in the wild west suffers abdominal pain in Wombstone.

 

Howard pisses everyone off in Howard the Fuck.

 

Darth Vader's suite breaks down in The Day the Darth Stood Still.

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Bond invents a new sport to play at M's funeral - Skyball

A family embark on an adventure in regards to a toiletry tourist attraction - We Bought a Loo

A bunch of superheroes attend the school borefest - Avengers Assembly

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Young Americans get taught some manners in Polite Academy

 

Mel Gibson deals with the repercussions after sending an angry telecommunication in Mad Fax

 

Niki Lauda goes back to the Nurburgring to try and find the wreck of his old crashed car - Rust

 

Leonardo DiCaprio goes to an insane asylum for people obsessed with toilets - Shitter Island

 

Tom Hanks tries to get an embarrassing lump removed in Cyst Away

 

Margaret Thatcher moves to the Highland region and gets a sex change in The Iron Laddy

 

Seth MacFarlane is a gun-toting adjustable bed salesman in A Million Ways to Lie in the West

 

Barack Obama decides the dollar isn't worth the paper it's printed on and gets his exchanged - All The President's Yen

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Mortuary assistant Susan Sarandon gets a shock in Dead Man Talking

 

And even more of a shock in Dead Man Wanking.

 

 

I'll get me coat.

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Mortuary assistant Susan Sarandon gets a shock in Dead Man Talking

 

And even more of a shock in Dead Man Wanking.

 

 

I'll get me coat.

 

 

:clap:

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Struggling tour guide fails to find things to show to visitors in Twin Peaks: Dire Walk With Me

 

Bob Geldof stars in a film interpretation of Rogers Waters' musical epic about being stranded in a spherical object in The Ball

 

In a far off world, the residents still listen to music using archaic cassettes in Planet of the Tapes

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Review of the Best Picture nominees this year:

 

The story of a black kid growing up afraid to admit to his friends he loves 1950s radio comedy in Goonlight.

 

An alien's battle to be accepted in the world of advertising is frustrated by a colleague in Ad Rival.

 

Denel Washington attempts to exploit his son's sporting prowess in Fencer.

 

Andrew Garfield doesn't want to fight in World War 2. He wants to do the tapestry for it in Hacksew Ridge.

 

Jeff Bridges has to decide whether to save the land or the sea in the climate change thriller Hill Or High Water.

 

A group of inspirational black women from Glasgow get locked in a toilet and plan their escape in Midden Figures.

 

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone star in a musical based on the music of The Kinks in Lola Land.

 

Dev Patel just wants to dress as a woman and become an international diva in the biopic Dion.

 

The body of a former film star is washed up on the beach near Casey Affleck's home. What does the note signed "Elsa" mean? in Lanchester  By The Sea.

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