Change-a-letter Films

[time 7,940]

Jazz musician has trouble with the crossword in Mo' Better Clues

 

Susan George and Dustin Hoffman have real trouble with Stray Dogs

 

International footballer and fashion icon promotes libraries in Lend it like Beckham

 

Brando loses his orangeade in France in Lost Tango in Paris

 

...but fortunately there's one remaining tropical fruit, Last Mango in Paris

 

A retired radio presenter gets a makeover in Paint your Wogan (Slight cheat but I couldn't resist)

[Magere Hein 1,397]

A few more titles rescued from oblivion:

• Richard Burton is up the creek and lost at sea in The Spy Who Came in from the Hold.
  
• A tale of the horrors of religious war: All Quiet on the Western Font
  
• Audrey Hepburn and Henry Fonda depict an epic battle among staff in the accounting department of the MoD in War and Pence.
  
• The Librarian plays a psychopathic ape with a love for ultra-violence in A Clockwork Orang.
  

regards,

Hein

[Godot 148]

A film about the shortage of female extras in a German gothic horror production - Nosferatu the vamp hire

 

In to the valley of death ride the drunken cavalry officers in Charge of the Tight Brigade

 

Nelson's navy is issued with spud guns in Masher and Commander

 

Harry the WWI infantryman doesn't make a sound in Hal Quiet on the Western Front

 

Sherlock Holmes plays spoof for the Round of the Baskervilles

 

Alec Guinness gets angry when someone mentions that film again in Bridle On The River Kwai

[time 7,940]

Cavalry not too sure about this Valley of Death thing in Charge of the Might Brigade

 

Astronauts have to find the correct corpse in The Right Stiff

 

Danny De Vito and Arnold Schwarzeneggar are non-too-bright in Twits

 

Liverpool lass sends all her waste paper to the USSR in Litter to Brezhnev

 

Newlyweds don't quite get the start to married life they were expecting in Seven Brides for Seven Brothels

[Magere Hein 1,397]

• An epic drama about a boy with a destiny. Not one involving some sandy planet, but he would become an actor and DL favourite in Dunn.
  

 

regards,

Hein

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

- Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Hawkins, Jennifer Hudson, Jenny Craig, Jenny von Westphalen, Jenny Bond, Jennifer Grey, Jenny Frost and Jenna Jamison get pissed off in - 12 Angry Jen

[Tuber Mirum 119]

Rod Taylor stars as a mad inventor who perfects a device for manufacturing fork prongs - The Tine Machine

 

Mickey Rourke and Charlie Dimmock in an emotional gardening drama - 9 1/2 Weeds

[time 7,940]

Shakespeare's story of cold meat, transposed from Denmark to Lincolnshire, Haslet

 

A story of a football hooligan permanently barred from entering the ground, A Ban for all Seasons

 

A CD collection is just piled up anyhow in The Mound of Music

 

Popeye Doyle on the trail of a continental garage mechanic in The Wrench Connection

 

A German businessman pulls some fluff from his navel during WWII in Schindler's Lint

[Godot 148]

Douglas Bader goes off piste in Reach for the Ski

Chinese and slightly more candid version of gay cowboy drama - Blokeback Mountain

 

An epic story of chickens and the rules they live by - The Hen Commandments

 

The story of a young beauty queen and her false teeth in Little Mish Sunshine

 

Biopic of Dennis Bergkamp and his habitual refusal to fly to away matches - Loneliness of the Long Distance Gunner

[Godot 148]

First meal after epic desert trek frankly disappoints in Rice Cold in Alex

Over indulgent warts-and-all Woody Allen movie about his pet dog - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Rex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask)

 

Drama about the first bird (unusually named after a state) conscripted in to the US military - My Owl Private Idaho

 

Morph reprises Eddie Murphy in The Putty Professor

[Godot 148]

An excellent replacement for Mellors in Lady Chatterley's Hover

Not everyone liked Bette Davis in Cow Voyager

 

The sheep gets it in The Blue Lamb

 

Friendly traveller regrets booking Moroccan hotel in Beau Guest

 

Famous Jewish performer survives a Christmas run in war torn Warsaw in The Panto

[time 7,940]

The Wacaday rock opera, Timmy

 

Leather-clad American singer takes on Mods in Quatrophenia

 

Emily Lloyd is not overly fond of Tom Bell in Wish You Were Gere

 

Kevin Costner builds a baseball diamond in Jamaica in Field of Dreads

 

Damon Albarn reprises Elvis in Blur Hawaii

[Phantom 2,466]

- After losing a bet, the hairiest member of an army unit is held down and shaved by his comrades in - Shaving private Ryan

 

I believe there's a porn movie that came out with that title.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Paul Newman and Tom Cruise enter the high stakes world of bee keeping in The Color of Honey..

 

...sequel to the cattle seizing drama, The Rustler

[Madcow 6]

- After losing a bet, the hairiest member of an army unit is held down and shaved by his comrades in - Shaving private Ryan

 

I believe there's a porn movie that came out with that title.

I think you'll find that was 'Shaving Ryan's Privates'

[Monoclinic 39]

One man's quest to overcome beastiality through the art of taxidermy in To Fill a Mockingbird

 

A heartwrenching affair as a fishing community falls into mourning in Requiem for a Bream

[big booming voice] It was a time of war, it was a time of peace etc. in Full Mental Jacket

 

David Icke recounts the history of the Saxe-Coburg and Gotha family down under in The Lizard of Oz

[Harvester Of Souls 40]

Mickey Rourke and Charlie Dimmock in an emotional gardening drama - 9 1/2 Weeds

... and it's straight to video sequel Another 9½ Leeks

[honez 79]

- After losing a bet, the hairiest member of an army unit is held down and shaved by his comrades in - Shaving private Ryan

 

I believe there's a porn movie that came out with that title.

Gorillas in the Mist meets Nazi Germany in Saving Primate Ryan.

 

Johann Sebastian and his Delorean, ensure the electric harpsicord takes its rightful place in rock and roll in Bach to the Future.

 

John Candy defies the odds at the Winter Olympics, training a team of elite Welsh miners and their pit pony to bobsled in Coal Runnings.

[Madame Defarge 21]

A TV series became the basis for a movie (also made for TV) about a bipolar bear - Mentle Ben.

[Star Crossed 33]

I haven't read past the second page of this thread, but... it strikes me that EVERY SINGLE ONE of the puns you've come up with have been gleaned from/are available in list form from other websites?

 

I know this is the Ex-C forum, but FFS have we sunk so low in content that we've resorted, almost en masse*, to this sort of cheap plagiarism?

 

*My apologies to those who may have been tarred inadvertently by my brush, but the rest of you... come on, we can do better than this. What's next? Sudoku corner? "Fix up", as the kids would say.

 

Yours,

Dismayed of Hopkinshire

[honez 79]

I haven't read past the second page of this thread, but... it strikes me that EVERY SINGLE ONE of the puns you've come up with have been gleaned from/are available in list form from other websites?

 

I know this is the Ex-C forum, but FFS have we sunk so low in content that we've resorted, almost en masse*, to this sort of cheap plagiarism?

 

*My apologies to those who may have been tarred inadvertently by my brush, but the rest of you... come on, we can do better than this. What's next? Sudoku corner? "Fix up", as the kids would say.

 

Yours,

Dismayed of Hopkinshire

Dear Dismayed,

I can't vouch for anyone else posting in the thread, but I can categorically say that mine are all my own work. If other people on other fora have come up with the same as mine, then all I can say is that they're a sick bunch that need to get their heads read.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,288]

I haven't read past the second page of this thread, but... it strikes me that EVERY SINGLE ONE of the puns you've come up with have been gleaned from/are available in list form from other websites?

 

I know this is the Ex-C forum, but FFS have we sunk so low in content that we've resorted, almost en masse*, to this sort of cheap plagiarism?

 

*My apologies to those who may have been tarred inadvertently by my brush, but the rest of you... come on, we can do better than this. What's next? Sudoku corner? "Fix up", as the kids would say.

 

Yours,

Dismayed of Hopkinshire

 

Apology accepted. Let's see your original offering then!

[time 7,940]

Mythical beast is adopted as Brazilian football team mascot in Pele's Dragon

[Star Crossed 33]

Apology accepted. Let's see your original offering then!

 

Roy Scheider on the trail of a killer Sea Lion, in... Paws.

 

The Titantic has a head-on collision with an iceberg, resulting in... Apocalypse Bow.

 

Incorrect use of grammar by... Them Usual Suspects

 

etc. etc. all my own work. Another 3 minutes of my life successfully wasted.

[Phantom 2,466]

Geriatric spinster goes swimming in Diving Miss Daisy