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Send Offs

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One of the best bits of the DL are the witty headlines that mark a hit. The Grim Reaper seems finely tuned to the possibilities but we all like to chip in our own ideas and get some satisfaction when they hit the mark.

 

This thread is designed as a pun bank for the list so that when the time comes there might be a few contenders here for that crucial send off headline.

 

I've just been looking down this year's list and it's a challenge finding apposite epitaphs for some of them.

 

Here are one or two lame (and pretty obvious) efforts to get this going:

 

 

Dicky Cheney: "Cheney Dicked"

 

Harry Morgan: "Harry Mashed" or "Painless end for Harry"

 

Aretha Franklin: "Last Respect"

 

Frank Thornton: "Going up"

 

Vera Lynn: "Whale meat"

 

Ray Bradbury: "Carbonised"

 

Ronnie Biggs: "Derailed"

 

Margaret Thacher "Gotcha!"

 

Kim Jong-il: "Kim Jong-dead"

 

Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Nine marriages and a funeral"

 

Betty Ford: "Dried out"

 

John Edrich "stumped" or "run out for (age at death)"

 

Kirk Douglas: "Thumbs down for Spartacus"

 

Michael Douglas: "Fallen down"

 

Gerry Rafferty: "Dead on his feet", "Stuck in the ground", "Falls off his chair"

 

Jake LaMotta: "Technical knockout"

 

Elizabeth Taylor: "Gone for a Burton"

 

Anna Wing: "An' a prayer"

 

Dom Mintoff: "Maltese loss"

 

Ian Brady: "Moors the merrier"

 

Herbert Lom: "Cleausaued"

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Harlan Ellison: He Has No Pulse And Must Scream

Dick Cheney: Gone fucked himself

Betty Ford: Reached the 13th step

Gerry Rafferty: Further on down the flatline

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Here are some:

 

Aretha Franklin: She said her little prayer

Michael Douglas: Deceased, for the lack of a better word, is good!

Fergie Frederiksen: Fergie's Gone

 

I may edit this post when I come up with more or better puns.

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My 500th post and I couldn't think of anything better than 'Dole in the hole'...

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Chapman Pincher: Stolen from us.

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Ariel Sharon: Unplugged

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Dunn like dinner?

or

Dick Cheney: Death and taxes?

I got nothing...

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Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Nine marriages and a funeral"

 

Thank you for using that one as an example, I am very proud of that pun.

Hadn't seen it, honest. Yours is better.

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I'm sure there is another thread somewhere with some really good ones. i.e. Liz Taylor Divorced from life.

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Clive Dunn - permission to leave, sir

Clive Dunn - grandad, we loved you

Megrahi - party in Lockerbie

Thatcher - Prime finisher

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How about these

 

Ronnie Biggs-Tonights Biggs Stroy

Dennis Healy-Takes A Brow

Areatha Frankin-Aretha Sells her Soul (Too dark?)

Bob Dole-Dole Looses the 2011 Death Poll

Tony Martin-Stoney Tony

Ray Bradbury-What a Ray to Go!

Peire Cardin-Cardiniac Arrest

Ernest Borgnine-Vikings Funeral

Eli Wallach-The Good the Bad and The Decesed

Harry Morgan-M*A*S*H*E*D

Diane Wynnes Johnes-And the Wynner is!

Dick Cheney-Dick Soup (You know like Duck Soup)

Bill Tarmey-Cremation Street

Helmut Shidt-So OoOoOoOoff thet Helmut Goes

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Nelson Mandela - MaDeadba

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Aretha Franklin - D-E-C-E-A-S-E-D, find out what it means to me!

 

Fergie Fredericksen - Hold The Line, Death Isn't Always On Time!

 

Clive Dunn - Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Dunn!

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Steve Jobs - not on this year's list but if he makes it to next year how about "iDead"?

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Steve Jobs - not on this year's list but if he makes it to next year how about "iDead"?

 

Not bad, what about "Jobless!"

 

Borrowing Spike Milligan's old gag -

 

Kim Jong-Il - Told You He Was Il...

 

Oscar Niemeyer - and the Oscar goes too...

 

Should he make the list at some point in the future, here's one for Hugh Hefner - "You're Not Swinging Anymore!"

 

Eli Wallach - The (Closed) Book of Eli

 

a few for Michael Douglas - "Michael Deadlas" "Fatal Affliction" "Life is for wimps!"

 

know he isn't on the list, but Paul Daniels could well be a viable future candidate - "Now That's Tragic!"

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a few for Michael Douglas - "Michael Deadlas" "Fatal Affliction" "Life is for wimps!"

 

know he isn't on the list, but Paul Daniels could well be a viable future candidate - "Now That's Tragic!"

Should Paul Daniels expire while on the list, the only possible sign-off should be something along the lines of "You'll like this...".

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a few for Michael Douglas - "Michael Deadlas" "Fatal Affliction" "Life is for wimps!"

 

know he isn't on the list, but Paul Daniels could well be a viable future candidate - "Now That's Tragic!"

Should Paul Daniels expire while on the list, the only possible sign-off should be something along the lines of "You'll like this...".

 

Sad faces? Not a lot ;)

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