Guest Kim Jong-nam Posted September 27, 2014 A pronounced limp and unexplained absences. I hope for something nasty like osteosarcoma, that should surely provide us with some entertainment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat O'Falk 3,290 Posted September 27, 2014 It's widely acknowledged that he is currently battling addiction with, of all things, Swiss cheese. Massively unhealthy, walking with a limp and obese to boot. Half a pound of Swiss cheese is healthier than half a pound of cheddar; what with all them holes in it there ain't as much. The holes weigh nowt, the half pound is simply bigger. That much cheese is that much cheese and it'll do nowt but fuel his gout, or summat. I know; it was a joke similar to the lines of what weighs more, a tonne of coal or a tonne of feathers. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted September 27, 2014 Tonne of feathers if I remember correctly... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Razor Boy 19 Posted September 27, 2014 Osteosarcoma a cheerful diagnosis but that MoFo does not deserve a nice prognosis ! OTOH its cancer or the heart that mostly does for us. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zorders 1,271 Posted September 27, 2014 Osteosarcoma a cheerful diagnosis but that MoFo does not deserve a nice prognosis ! OTOH its cancer or the heart that mostly does for us. So you also saw that Guardian readers' comment indicating he might have osteosarcoma? Also, just found this indicating he loves horse-riding. Brilliant, didn't tons of medieval warlords and kings die falling off their horses? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted September 28, 2014 Worth sticking him on the list for the prospect of a father, son, and grandson hit (over a 20 year period). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,588 Posted September 29, 2014 It seems to me celebrities are making sure we know about their illnesses now when we are thinking about the 2015 List. How humiliating would it be to be dying and nobody writing comments about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,654 Posted September 29, 2014 Worth sticking him on the list for the prospect of a father, son, and grandson hit (over a 20 year period). Dunno, prolonged ill health a distinct possibility since he's part of a personality cult and it's hard to say no to him. But, for this to kill a 31 year old is asking a lot. Even this borderline fuckwit is likely to be savvy enough to take on board some medical advice. Apart from owt else it's surely obvious - even to him - that plotters lurk close by. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zorders 1,271 Posted September 29, 2014 Worth sticking him on the list for the prospect of a father, son, and grandson hit (over a 20 year period). Dunno, prolonged ill health a distinct possibility since he's part of a personality cult and it's hard to say no to him. But, for this to kill a 31 year old is asking a lot. Even this borderline fuckwit is likely to be savvy enough to take on board some medical advice. Apart from owt else it's surely obvious - even to him - that plotters lurk close by. If the guy's stupid enough to eat himself into such shit shape at such a young age, he's stupid enough to ignore his doctors advice too..... And if not, he'll find some other way to fuck himself up. He really is a colossal retard. Youse is just letting a few purges of his family members/a few colonels (thought up by his toadies, not him) and his Stalin/Mao-esque outfits fool you into thinking he actually has a significantly higher degree of intelligence than a Kardashian. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gcreptile 10,979 Posted October 1, 2014 Kim Jong-Un now too fat for his legs: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2774604/Kim-Jong-Un-hospital-two-fractured-ankles-ballooning-20-stone-going-numerous-meet-people-walkabout-PR-stunts.html 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom 2,534 Posted October 1, 2014 "If you can finish this lot in an hour, you'll get a free t-shirt and your photo up on the wall" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Elder Kim Posted October 1, 2014 These things just don't add up for me. Sure, he is fat enough to think that his health is adversely affected by his weight. But is he fat enough for his ankles to fracture under his weight? Don't think so - at least, not without comorbid conditions - like structural bone weakness due to ... [insert a gruelsome bone cancer of your liking here]. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magere Hein 1,400 Posted October 1, 2014 These things just don't add up for me. Sure, he is fat enough to think that his health is adversely affected by his weight. But is he fat enough for his ankles to fracture under his weight? Don't think so - at least, not without comorbid conditions - like structural bone weakness due to ... [insert a gruelsome bone cancer of your liking here]. Masturbation perhaps? regards, Hein Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Elder Kim Posted October 3, 2014 Masturbation perhaps? regards, Hein Well, we all know that masturbation is a deadly sin (don't we?), but AFAIK it only causes (eternal) misery and suffering in the afterlife. As for his current - hopefully very short - earthly existence, vanity and gluttony seem to contribute to his imminent demise. "Rumors abound about the cause of his absence, including a report from South Korea's Chosun Ilbo that he recently underwent surgery after fracturing both of his ankles »during a grueling tour of military bases and factories in Cuban heels.« The South Korean news agency Yonhap cited anonymous sources saying that Kim, a heavy smoker who has become markedly plump since assuming the role of dictator, is »suffering from gout, along with hyperuricemia, hyperlipidemia, obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure.«" https://news.vice.com/article/former-top-official-says-kim-jong-un-is-no-longer-in-control-of-north-korea Quite a few diet-related diseases for a bloke aged just 31… Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,654 Posted October 4, 2014 Meanwhile his closest aides make a significant step towards cordial dealings with the lot down south. Whether KJ-U will think this a cheese induced nightmare or regard it as a positive move isn't totally clear. The officials are said to be close to him. 60 odd years after the Korean war it's notable how better diets in the south have made their people taller (a fact pointed out in Nothing to Envy) which chronicles the 90s famine and general suffering of people in the north. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-29489134 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest grim up north Posted October 13, 2014 Kim Jong-un 'healthy' says ambassador according to BBC website. Or perhaps he said Kim Jong 'unhealthy'? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,654 Posted October 13, 2014 Kim Jong-un 'healthy' says ambassador according to BBC website. Or perhaps he said Kim Jong 'unhealthy'? Yeah, but by North Korean standards that probably equates to: he just had his dinner and there was no grass involved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,588 Posted October 13, 2014 Sounds like he might actually be alive. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,654 Posted October 14, 2014 Widespread press coverage of him visiting a housing development and walking with a stick. So, no coup, but yer man looking fairly lame. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zorders 1,271 Posted October 14, 2014 Widespread press coverage of him visiting a housing development and walking with a stick. So, no coup, but yer man looking fairly lame. Somewhere an angry Kim Sr. is looking up on his son, and cursing: "this isn't what I meant by 'use your cheesebox'....." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted November 29, 2014 Kim Kyong Hui may be in Switzerland. Hmmm.,..wiki has her as dead today, may need to look for reliable report.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,654 Posted May 1, 2015 The big kid in him has really got loose now. Appears to have set up an execution, including viewing area, and let the guilty parties have it by using anti-aircraft guns on them. http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/574112/North-Korea-Kim-Jong-un-antiaircraft-guns-PULVERISE-victims-public-execution Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gcreptile 10,979 Posted May 12, 2015 Did Kim kill his aunt? http://www.ibtimes.com/north-koreas-kim-jong-un-ordered-his-aunt-kim-kyong-hui-be-poisoned-report-1917846 Back in March, I thought that she might be a brilliant unique pick and I wondered why nobody chose her. But now I see that she was reported dead back then already. Officially, she's still alive: http://www.dailynk.com/english/read.php?cataId=nk01500&num=13177 But then nobody outside of North Korea really knows... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,618 Posted August 12, 2015 North Korea's Vice-premier Choe Yong-gon has been reported executed on the orders of Kim Jong-un, according to South Korea; as yet unverified. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gcreptile 10,979 Posted August 12, 2015 Kim Jong-Un about to have a stroke? https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2015/08/485_184719.html 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
