RoverAndOut 4,746 Posted October 25, 2022 25 minutes ago, DCI Frank Burnside said: Fucking hell another awful take from Hodges "In a civil way". He called the new Prime Minister a socialist and said it was "Boris or Bust" for the Tory party. That's before we get to some of the things he's said in parliament to opposition MPs. Antiquated does not mean civil. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DCI Frank Burnside 3,887 Posted October 25, 2022 Can't be bigoted because he fought against a gay boxer 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoverAndOut 4,746 Posted October 25, 2022 On 20/10/2022 at 15:32, RoverAndOut said: Not sure it's a problem. It's October 20th. Plenty of time to write a couple of extra chapters and change the title to "and her astonishing rise and fall". If they've got any nous, they've already made a start on the new material,the writing's been on the wall for weeks. I should work in publishing... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,402 Posted October 25, 2022 Ladies, men and everyone else - let’s meet His Majesty’s Government. Prime Minister - Rishi Sunak The main man, the man who made us eat out to conk out, the man who broke the law, avoided taxes, said the quiet bit about sucking money from “deprived urban areas” to moneyed ones. It’s a step up from Truss, but so is bilharzia of the genitals. Mind you, looking at the rancidity of the cabinet he has (largely re-)appointed, you have to wonder whether it is or not. Chancellor - Jeremy Hunt Jeremy Cunt-err-Hunt has been in post for 11 days. Let’s hope he is for another 11. This is actually his cum face, and he gets there by thinking of junior doctors crying into a pot noodle they can no longer afford. Deputy Prime Minister & Justice Secretary - Dominic Raab Return of the twat. He who didn’t know there was a body of water between England and France and its significance when it came to trade. He who closed down the criminal justice system out of sheer spite, who doesn’t believe in human rights or economic and social rights. His reappointment to this position he is breathtakingly unsuited to displays how little regard Sunak has for those who rely on the justice system or are indeed part of it, and how far grovelling gets you. Home Secretary - Suella Braverman Last time she was Home Secretary, she broke the ministerial code and had to leave thanks to a potential national security risk. That was less than a week ago. Now once again she can crack on with her disgusting, twisted “dream” to traffick migrants thousands of miles away against their will. This cunts the “more compassionate” thing Sunak was going for completely out of the water. There’s no dressing this one up with pisstaking. She is the worst of the worst and she has a putrid boil for a soul. Foreign Secretary - James Cleverly Unpleasantly surprised to see Sunak has kept Cleverly by name, James by nature. Proper crayon chewer. Astonishing, not just given his demonstrable and embarrassingly low level of basic intelligence, but also given that he was still tickling Boris Johnson’s balls until just over 24 hours ago. Has wholeheartedly backed every single disaster that has happened over the past few governments. Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster - Oliver Dowden One of Sunak’s best buddies. Once said when he was party chair “For me, the privet hedges of suburbia are the privet hedges of free people”. Wanker, then. Minister for the Cabinet Office and Paymaster General - Jeremy Quin Grey column of pissy air with an appalling voting record and a raft of inconsequential job titles to his name. Leader of the House of Commons & Lord President of the Council - Penny Mordaunt This reappointment feels more like a message from Sunak to her to stay in lane, and one she has clearly received given her just-licked-bird-shit-off-a-nettle face. Not exactly in the interest of party unity, is it? Leader of the House of Lords - Lord True Re-appointed because nothing else to come out of any of these fucking clowns will be true. Chief Whip - Simon Hart Shart in a grey suit. Was Welsh secretary, so clearly a pretty insignificant character. Ghastly voting record. Chief Secretary to the Treasury - John Glen Mine’s drawing a blank here. By law of averages in this fucking Cabinet, I’m sure his does all the time. Attorney General - Victoria Prentis In a rare case of a Tory actually being qualified for the job, Prentis used to be a barrister. She voted remain, backed Rory Stewart and was the first MP to take in a Ukrainian refugee. Blimey. She might actually be pretty dece-oh no wait she has NEVER voted in favour of laws to promote equality and human rights. Minister for Veterans’ Affairs - Johnny Mercer There’s no denying, politics aside, that this is a role Mercer is perfect for. The fact that Trussterfuck removed him from it is immensely stupid, and clearly even Sunak sees that. Minister for Security - Tom Tugendhat Stays in post. Maybe he should look to the head of the Home Office for security threats? Minister for Immigration - Robert Jenrick Failed upwards into Cabinet. One of the only people capable of making James Cleverly look reasonably gifted. Minister Without Portfolio - Nadhim Zahawi Minister for absolutely fuck all - I struggle to think of a better-suited appointment. ‘Government of all the talents’ my dangling plums. Minister Without Portfolio - Gavin Williamson Shut up and go away. Health Secretary - Steve Barclay JFC. Barclay returning to this role after a 7 week hiatus is one of many pretty conclusive pieces of evidence that the talent pool in the Tory party nowadays is shallower than a fly’s foot bath. Last time he was at the DHSC, the editor of the Health Service Journal said “never has a politician arrived in the post of health secretary trailing a worse reputation among NHS leaders”. Business Secretary - Grant Shapps For the first time in history there are four business secretaries - Grant V Shapps, Michael Green, Corinne Stockheath and Sebastian Fox. Here they are, in all the glory of their collective ineptitude. Education Secretary - Gillian Keegan I’ve got absolutely no idea. She might be a This Morning competition winner for all I know. Her coat is white and gold, by the way. Defence Secretary - Ben Wallace Not all that surprising given that his departure would currently draw worldwide attention, but Wallace did say he’d resign if an increase 3% GDP Defence spend was not committed to, something which leads one to question further where the currently £45bn black hole is going to be found. Work & Pensions Secretary - Mel Stride Sunak’s personal obsequious turd. Another DWP chief whose voting record shows utter contempt for anyone in need of welfare benefits. Transport Secretary - Mark Harper Proper Sunak lieutenant, never liked the Honking Pudding but loves killing animals for fun. Hilariously stood for leadership in 2019. Culture Secretary - Michelle Donelan The one who was Education Secretary for less than 48 hours has actually managed to stay in this job, despite having less culture than a Petits Filous. Political equivalent of the TV test card. Levelling Up Secretary - Michael Gove This badly shaven gerbil has levelled himself up from ‘retiring from frontline politics’ to ‘not’, retaking the moist-inducing job title of Secretary of State for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities and Minister for Intergovernmental Relations and Colombian Marching Powder Refreshment. DEFRA Secretary - Thérèse Coffey With farmers already having a tragically high suicide rate, this feels almost as dangerous as, oh I dunno, a Health Secretary encouraging the willy-nilly taking and dealing of antibiotics. Will distract from all the raw sewage being dumped in our waters by spewing a load herself. International Trade Secretary - Kemi Badenoch Looks just as thrilled to retain this position as when Liz Truss put her there. She also becomes Equalities Minister, not long after a sickening anti-LGBTQ+ rant of hers surfaced. Denies any institutional racism exists anywhere. Northern Ireland Secretary - Chris Heaton-Harris Yet another re-appointment. Luckily he has dealt with all the protocol chaos extremely well…no wait, he’s done bollocks all of merit. In his entire career. Scotland Secretary - Alister Jack Hangs around this department still, like some rotten fart. Has clearly contributed to the Tories’ unending popularity in Scotland. Wales Secretary - David TC Davies Climate change denier, opposed to LGBTQ+ rights, one of the leading lights in the Leave Means Leave Brexit campaign, claimed British hospitality was being “abused” in reaction to child refugees being brought to safety here. The cunt’s cunt. This is what we have become. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted October 25, 2022 1 hour ago, RoverAndOut said: "In a civil way". He called the new Prime Minister a socialist and said it was "Boris or Bust" for the Tory party. That's before we get to some of the things he's said in parliament to opposition MPs. Antiquated does not mean civil. You could have just said that Mogg is a prick. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted October 25, 2022 So let us just recap what we have here. A right wing Tory government. No shit Sherlock. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,152 Posted October 25, 2022 Easy to pick a theme team out of those: "People whom I would like to see die soon and horribly" 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DCI Frank Burnside 3,887 Posted October 25, 2022 1 hour ago, TQR said: Ladies, men and everyone else - let’s meet His Majesty’s Government. . Leader of the House of Commons & Lord President of the Council - Penny Mordaunt This reappointment feels more like a message from Sunak to her to stay in lane, and one she has clearly received given her just-licked-bird-shit-off-a-nettle face. Not exactly in the interest of party unity, is it? Sure you did Penny 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DevonDeathTrip 2,358 Posted October 25, 2022 Deeply disappointed at the reinstatement of the appalling Suella Braverman as Home Secretary. She's a wrong 'un and there is something distinctly unsettling about listening to her rabid desire to fly refugees to Rwanda, her demonisation of benefits claimants, or her seriously flawed views about recreational drug users. To borrow a phrase from Ann Widdecombe, I'm convinced there is "something of the night" about Braverman and find it really depressing that Sunak didn't take this opportunity to kick her into touch. In any case, they'll all be lined up and shot when I take charge 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted October 25, 2022 19 minutes ago, DCI Frank Burnside said: Sure you did Penny Just like she had those 90 MPs backing her... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,152 Posted October 25, 2022 38 minutes ago, DevonDeathTrip said: Deeply disappointed at the reinstatement of the appalling Suella Braverman as Home Secretary. She's a wrong 'un and there is something distinctly unsettling about listening to her rabid desire to fly refugees to Rwanda, her demonisation of benefits claimants, or her seriously flawed views about recreational drug users. To borrow a phrase from Ann Widdecombe, I'm convinced there is "something of the night" about Braverman and find it really depressing that Sunak didn't take this opportunity to kick her into touch. In any case, they'll all be lined up and shot when I take charge Where do I sign? Goodbye ECHR. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,727 Posted October 25, 2022 1 hour ago, TQR said: Her coat is white and gold, by the way. Just thrown in casually as a free gag - beautifully done - bravo sir. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Old Crem 3,608 Posted October 26, 2022 I am suprised Raab is Deputy Prime Minster. He is at genuine risk of losing his seat at the next election to the Lib Dems. Unless it’s a big Labour majority none of the others seem at real risk. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,402 Posted October 26, 2022 Sunak’s first PMQs was fucking dismal. Truss was karaoke Johnson, and Sunak is karaoke Truss. Piss-weak obfuscation, non-answers, a large Sue Ellen-shaped scandal after just hours, and the nerve, in light of how far down the swanny we’ve sunk in the past 12 years (particularly the last few months of that) to suggest that the opposition are the ones who can’t be trusted with economic matters, and to paint Starmer as the one who’s out of touch because he’s based in North London, coming from the man who’s rich as Croesus and is on record boasting about funnelling money away from deprived areas into rich leafy towns. The grown ups are still not in the building, and never will be under the Tories until they are demolished and rebuilt. Oust these clowns at once. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Old Crem 3,608 Posted October 26, 2022 Tim Shipman of the Sunday Times really doesn’t like Suella Braverman. I can see the Sunday Times being the place that breaks a few intriguing stories about her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoverAndOut 4,746 Posted October 26, 2022 7 minutes ago, The Old Crem said: Tim Shipman of the Sunday Times really doesn’t like Suella Braverman. I can see the Sunday Times being the place that breaks a few intriguing stories about her. He can join the rest of us. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoverAndOut 4,746 Posted October 26, 2022 Another appointment in keeping with the rest of the Cabinet... 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DCI Frank Burnside 3,887 Posted October 26, 2022 Remain convinced that Bravermann's appointment will come back to bite Sunak. Might not be in the immediate future but soon enough Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Old Crem 3,608 Posted October 26, 2022 1 hour ago, DCI Frank Burnside said: Remain convinced that Bravermann's appointment will come back to bite Sunak. Might not be in the immediate future but soon enough The Times are going for her. Can’t see him being able to sack her through anytime soon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DCI Frank Burnside 3,887 Posted October 26, 2022 Jake Berry alledging on Piers Morgan (Yes I know) that the thing last week was a lot more serious than is being let on and that it happend more than once well. That being said Berry does have an axe to grind so would take with a barrel of salt Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Old Crem 3,608 Posted October 26, 2022 4 minutes ago, DCI Frank Burnside said: Jake Berry alledging on Piers Morgan (Yes I know) that the thing last week was a lot more serious than is being let on and that it happend more than once well. That being said Berry does have an axe to grind so would take with a barrel of salt Correction. It was on the show named after Piers Morgan but he is on holiday and has been replaced. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DCI Frank Burnside 3,887 Posted October 27, 2022 Yeah she's going to be the 1st one out. Just a matter of when 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,402 Posted October 27, 2022 Suella Braverman may well at this rate break the record for the shortest tenure as Home Secretary, beating the current record set by Suella Braverman. ’Leaky Sue’ is the top trend on Twitter at the moment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
