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Magere Hein

Death In The Family

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Last night, around 10:30, Annie M, my mother, died. She was 83.

 

She hadn't been well recently and in the afternoon my brother reported that she was deteriorating and no longer eating nor drinking. After that things went incredibly fast.

 

The last six years of her life she suffered from Alzheimer's disease. What started as a mild case of forgetfulness progressed to fully fledged dementia. When I went to see her during the last year she rarely recognised me, nor my siblings; she adressed me as 'Sir'.

 

My emotions are confused at the moment. Grief and relief and a feeling that I ought to celebrate her life rather that mourn her death all try to get on top.

 

She was as much a lover of literature, music and arts as I am. In many ways she made me who I am. Even at my lowest she was always there for me. A Dutch author, Jan Wolkers, writes in his novel The June Trap: "When your mother dies, there's no one left to comfort you." I realise now how right he is.

 

in grief,

Hein

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I would like to extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family for your tragic loss Magre Hein.

 

Regards,

 

ff

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My heartfelt condolences to you MH,

 

As yet I haven't lost a parent only grandparents. It must be very hard to see a parent decline through Alzheimers like that. I can fully understand your mixed emotions, no doubt you will need quite some time to come to terms with the loss.

 

Words can offer no real comfort, that can only come from within.

 

Let the grief work its way through.

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My deepest sympathies to you and your family MH, Annie M sounds like a wonderful woman and an inspirational mother, she gave you the priceless gifts of loving music, literature and the arts, I'm sure she also gave you many more. Celebrate her life and grieve for her too, it will take a lot of time. The best tribute to her is simply to be her son.

 

Take care, my thoughts are with you,

 

LG.

x

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I'm sorry Hein. Just think of the times that are worth remembering. To celebrate her life is most likely what she would want. It is nice to think that she is in a better place and that you will see her again some day, just take some time. If you were on a bar stool beside me i'd buy you a drink.

 

Regards,

 

BS

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Sincerest condolences, MH.

 

I read somewhere once, something along the lines of grief subsiding with time but sweet memories lasting forever. I wish it true for you.

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I am so sorry to hear this. She is at peace now, so please

try to take some consolation from this.

I know that words are so meaningless now, but my thoughts are

with you and your family.

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Sorry to hear this MH. Losing your mum is never easy. I still miss mine and she died maybe 15 years ago. The mother-son relationship is always a special one. Mothers always seem to have the right words. But I've never experienced that other kind of loss that happens with Alzheimers and hope I never do. One thing that helped me a lot with both of my parents was making sure they both "had a good send off" to quote the approving comment of my favourite aunt. I'm very much in favour of celebrating life. Remember the good times.

 

all the best,

 

Godot

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The last six years of her life she suffered from Alzheimer's disease. What started as a mild case of forgetfulness progressed to fully fledged dementia. When I went to see her during the last year she rarely recognised me, nor my siblings; she adressed me as 'Sir'.

 

My emotions are confused at the moment. Grief and relief and a feeling that I ought to celebrate her life rather that mourn her death all try to get on top.

 

in grief,

Hein

 

Firstly, deepest sympathies.

 

I know what you mean. My Grandma died, very recently, of Alzheimers after a 12 yr battle. You find yourself struggling with the emotions as part of you has already accepted her as dead, but then you find the actual death itself is still a tremendous shock. I was relieved, I suppose, but tremendously saddened. But at the funeral all the talk was on the magnificent lady she was, and not what she became in her last years.

 

Sorry - this is probably of no help to you at all. I guess in my clumsy way I can sympathise with the situation, but the death of a grandmother & the death of a mother are very different situations.

 

All I can say, like the others, thoughts with yourself & everyone else who loved her.

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My thoughts are with you and your family, MH. xx

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You have my deepest sympathy MH.

As you know my Grandmother, with whom I was very close to, died in May. With the death of your mother I can't imagine the grief which you are experiencing but realise that it must be much greater than mine.

 

In the words of another great lady, "Grief, is the price we pay for love".

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Guest Lache Pas La Patat

Sorry to hear of your loss Magere Hein. I hope you find some level of solace in thoughts of the joyous times you and your mother had together and know that in most cases as time passes the pain does ease.

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I'm so sorry Hein. My thoughts are with you and those close to you

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My deepest sympathies to yourself and family during this difficult time

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I can only agree with the above posts MH. Sorry to hear this, the one consolation of feeling such pain now is that it's only possible if you truly care and have a bond with the person you've lost. I hope that time heals the worst of the loss and your good memories stay with you for the rest of your life.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Hein.

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I am so sorry, MH. Take care of yourself. The loss of a parent is a peculiarly poignant one. We're thinking of you.

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My deepest sympathies MH. I'm no good at words when it comes to this sort of thing, especially since I've only lost one Grandfather and one close Aunt in 20 years, but my thoughts are with you.

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I hope that soon your grief and confusion will be transformed by happier memories.

 

My thoughts are with you in this sad time, Hein.

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Hein,

let me add my sympathy to that of the many others who have posted here. You are truly lucky to have had such an exceptional parent.

 

Our thoughts are with you and your family.

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MH,

 

I'm so sorry to hear such bad news, I hope you know that we're all thinking of you at this difficult time.

 

I can't say I have any words of wisdom to help (if anyone ever really does), or even that I understand what you're going through; I won't insult you by saying that I do. All I can do is echo the sentiments of my fellow DL'ers, and hope that your current grief will gradually be tempered by the celebration of the life of a wonderful mother who was much loved, and who seems to have been a huge inspiration to how your own life has progressed.

 

From what I know of you, she's done a damn fine job.

 

TLC

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MH

 

My very sincerest condolences my friend, for me this is always the most toughest time in a son's life

I know all too well, I lost my mum when I was 7, 34 long years ago.

I wish you strength, my deepest respects & regards.

 

 

Your Friend

Scsi

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I'm so sorry Hein. My thoughts are with you.

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