Britney Spears, Kerry Katona, Heather Locklear et al.

[football_fan 41]

More legal troubles for Britney Spears

 

Britney Spears faces hit-run charge

 

LOS ANGELES, California -- Britney Spears' legal woes mounted Friday as prosecutors charged her with misdemeanor counts of hit and run and driving without a valid license after she allegedly smashed her car into another in a parking lot in August.

If convicted, the singer could face up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine for each count, said Nick Velasquez, spokesman for the city attorney's office.

 

video of hit and run

[Godot 148]

More legal troubles for Britney Spears

 

Britney Spears faces hit-run charge

 

LOS ANGELES, California -- Britney Spears' legal woes mounted Friday as prosecutors charged her with misdemeanor counts of hit and run and driving without a valid license after she allegedly smashed her car into another in a parking lot in August.

If convicted, the singer could face up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine for each count, said Nick Velasquez, spokesman for the city attorney's office.

 

video of hit and run

I did that once; scarpered after knocking over a traffic bollard alongside a taxi queue, got fined fifteen quid. Taught me a lesson: not to hit traffic bollards in front of about twenty witnesses. They should throw the book at her.

[maryportfuncity 9,979]

Speaking of 'the book' I'm guessing there are trouser filling orgasmic shots going off in her agents offices about the 'prison diary' that'll add a new and lucrative dimension to her stalled career. Of course, she's innocent until inevitably convicted, but you know what I mean.

[Banshees Scream 107]

'It's my call' I think the next move by Brittaney Spears will be something very 'air head OD'

 

Like 'BREAKING NEWS!"

 

Brittaney Spears gives her youngest son up for adoption! She'll redefine the intelligence of blond women. She'll become Hollywood's blond bombshell with a 65 IQ. Magazines covers and critics will become more decorated with ideas and pictures, and she'll become Hollywoods most treasured f**k up.

 

Yes I thought that was Paris Hilton too, but at least she's not divorced with two kids at 25.

 

Hey ho!

 

Somebody call the garbage truck in. I got trash, I got trash here and it's sure looking white ...

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Oh dear. Maybe they should have stuck Hawking or Ali in a spangly bikini and got them to open the show instead.

 

I dunno... I've been thinking about this. And I've studied the video. A bit. Quite a lot actually. In fact it's taken me ten days, wrist sprain and several stern warnings from Mrs BHB, but I have to say that I have reached a conclusion.

 

Many people have criticised her costume and suggested she's overweight, but I have to say that I still find her totally doable.*

 

Cheers,

 

BHB

 

*verb. Meaning to fancy in a rumpy-pumpy sort of way. Origins, probably, one of the Bronte sisters- source- The Pooka in the Dicky O' thread.

I happen to agree with you, she is quite er...... God help me!

[Emily the Strange 2]

I knew I'd read something on Britney....

 

I know the News of the World doesn't actually qualify as a reputable paper, but they're screaming the following headline: "Britney was sweating, her pupils were huge.... we thought she was dying!"

[Banshees Scream 107]

That is what people in Hollywood call 'exhaustion'

 

My only thing with 'exhaustion' is

 

You always here those pathetic stories 'O back in the 40's you did this to put bread on the table' and you hear those stories 'I worked from sun set to sun rise' and the great depression .... it was horrible and people had barely enough money to live ... and back then I never heard 'O I'm exhausted' ... No. But Brittaney Spears had two beers the night before and woke up an hour early .... and looks tired and tells everybody 'O god I'm exhausted' and it causes great commotion among everybody. The attention these talentless 'over weight' broads get seriously gives me a headache.

[maryportfuncity 9,979]

Oops, she did it again and now the kids are going.

[Cowboy Ronnie 77]

Oops, she did it again and now the kids are going.

 

from the TMZ website:

 

"Judge Gordon had ordered Spears to undergo random drug testing and take parenting classes. Sources say Federline's powerhouse lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, raised the issue that Spears was driving without a valid California driver's license ... Spears took the kids to the drive-thru at Carl's Jr. at 12:02 this afternoon and surrendered the kids to K-Fed's bodyguard three minutes later."

 

Now, TMZ stands, I believe, for "Truth Matters Zero", but on the assumption they got this right it seems perfect Britney would hand her kids over at a fast-food restaurant drive-thru.

 

She will deffo be on the under 50's alternative DL that has been discussed for 2008. Number 1 with a bullet, perhaps....

[maryportfuncity 9,979]

I'd say there are still a few under 50s better placed to self-destruct than her. Gazza for starters.

[Monoclinic 39]

I'd say there are still a few under 50s better placed to self-destruct than her. Gazza for starters.

 

She will be 27 in 2008...

[Emily the Strange 2]

She will be 27 in 2008...

 

*IF* she makes it.

[maryportfuncity 9,979]

I'd say there are still a few under 50s better placed to self-destruct than her. Gazza for starters.

 

She will be 27 in 2008...

 

Aye, fair enough but for those deadpools that reward you more for younger picks there's always our old staple, K*rsty H*ward. And where people get banded in age so there's less advantage to picking the very young there's still Gazza, well short of 50, well on the way to self-destruction with a record of recklessness that started before Britney was a high profile pop babe.

[Cowboy Ronnie 77]

I'd say there are still a few under 50s better placed to self-destruct than her. Gazza for starters.

 

She will be 27 in 2008...

 

Aye, fair enough but for those deadpools that reward you more for younger picks there's always our old staple, K*rsty H*ward. And where people get banded in age so there's less advantage to picking the very young there's still Gazza, well short of 50, well on the way to self-destruction with a record of recklessness that started before Britney was a high profile pop babe.

 

True, but Britney dying would be massive news around the world and probably one of the top stories of the year. Gazza dying would be news in England for a week, in Europe for a day, elsewhere it would barely make the papers at all. How excited would the entire DL community be if 1) Britney died and 2) we'd picked her on a specially designed fun list?

[Monoclinic 39]

I'd say there are still a few under 50s better placed to self-destruct than her. Gazza for starters.

 

She will be 27 in 2008...

 

Aye, fair enough but for those deadpools that reward you more for younger picks there's always our old staple, K*rsty H*ward. And where people get banded in age so there's less advantage to picking the very young there's still Gazza, well short of 50, well on the way to self-destruction with a record of recklessness that started before Britney was a high profile pop babe.

 

True, but Britney dying would be massive news around the world and probably one of the top stories of the year. Gazza dying would be news in England for a week, in Europe for a day, elsewhere it would barely make the papers at all. How excited would the entire DL community be if 1) Britney died and 2) we'd picked her on a specially designed fun list?

 

I'm with you CR. I mean if she thinks she is a rock star (can't remember from whose link that was mentioned) then it's only fitting she does us all a favour and joins the Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison et al died at 27 club.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

I'd say there are still a few under 50s better placed to self-destruct than her. Gazza for starters.

 

She will be 27 in 2008...

 

Aye, fair enough but for those deadpools that reward you more for younger picks there's always our old staple, K*rsty H*ward. And where people get banded in age so there's less advantage to picking the very young there's still Gazza, well short of 50, well on the way to self-destruction with a record of recklessness that started before Britney was a high profile pop babe.

 

True, but Britney dying would be massive news around the world and probably one of the top stories of the year. Gazza dying would be news in England for a week, in Europe for a day, elsewhere it would barely make the papers at all. How excited would the entire DL community be if 1) Britney died and 2) we'd picked her on a specially designed fun list?

 

I'm with you CR. I mean if she thinks she is a rock star (can't remember from whose link that was mentioned) then it's only fitting she does us all a favour and joins the Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison et al died at 27 club.

Correct me if Im wrong but I think Jim Morrisson was 29 when he died. Im pretty sure he was born in 1942.

Asides me being pedantic, there does seem to be an awful lot of Musicians who die before they reach 30.

Gram Parsons was another.

 

UPDATE: Its grovel time, the Monkey was, as usual, correct.

Jim Morrison was 27 and Im a pratt.

Sorry for doubting you MC, I should have known better!!

PS: You are onto something with the 27 club.

Keep up the good work.

[maryportfuncity 9,979]

Visitation rights for Britney. Bad sign if she sends a flunky to see the kids and goes out partying herself.

 

Didn't she used to be a singer, or summat?

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,447]

Brizza's new album to be entitled Blackout. I'm looking forward to the follow-up, Whadafukmidoininnagutterwimmeknicksroundmeanklesgissabeereh.

[maryportfuncity 9,979]

Aye it's as good a title as 'Invincible' the last piece of - largely ignored - shite from Wacko Jacko.

[maryportfuncity 9,979]

Lengthy and intelligent article on why she is the way she is.

[Godot 148]

Lengthy and intelligent article on why she is the way she is.

It goes on a bit. Apart from knowing her name and seeing a picture of her with her head shaved I don't know anything she's done, couldn't hum a single one of her songs, wouldn't recognise her in the street. I'm quite pleased about that.

[Monoclinic 39]

Lengthy and intelligent article on why she is the way she is.

It goes on a bit. Apart from knowing her name and seeing a picture of her with her head shaved I don't know anything she's done, couldn't hum a single one of her songs, wouldn't recognise her in the street. I'm quite pleased about that.

 

For Godot's benefit, to avoid any gaps in your modern day culture knowledge base, here is one of her songs. I can't bring myself to link her directly so I'll opt for the debatably marginally better band Travis and their cover version of Hit me baby one more time.

 

Please shoot me now for posting Travis.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Lengthy and intelligent article on why she is the way she is.

It goes on a bit. Apart from knowing her name and seeing a picture of her with her head shaved I don't know anything she's done, couldn't hum a single one of her songs, wouldn't recognise her in the street. I'm quite pleased about that.

That would make you a bit sh*t in a Pub Quiz.

[Godot 148]

Lengthy and intelligent article on why she is the way she is.

It goes on a bit. Apart from knowing her name and seeing a picture of her with her head shaved I don't know anything she's done, couldn't hum a single one of her songs, wouldn't recognise her in the street. I'm quite pleased about that.

That would make you a bit sh*t in a Pub Quiz.

Yes, It keeps me awake at nights.

[maryportfuncity 9,979]

Gets the kids 1 night a week. Hollywood nightclub takings set to plummet by one seventh, then.