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Lord Fellatio Nelson

The World of the Snowflake

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You may have heard in the news today that Kleenex ( MK and Deathsperms  favourite tissue ) has now, after 60 years, decided to remove the term 'Mansize' on it's boxes as one little boy asked his mummy if that meant boys, girls and ladies could not use them.

This, of course, had the Twitter brigade out to castigate the company for having such a sexist term in these times of ours, or summat.

Add to that the 'Jazz Hands' replacement for applause at Manchester University and a whole shit load of other things, I was wondering if we can get up some sort of list/ suggestions that would truly placate the current generation?

How about a demand that Manchester be renamed Peoplechester?

Being manly? How about Personly?

Wankers

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England, Land of the Angles, needs renaming as Cuntoland ninja.gif

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manhole - peoplehole? unihole?

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Similar vein.

 

Cyclists need renamed as cuntlysts.

 

Price/Westbrook et al no longer to be called 'bimbos', 'hoors' a suitable replacement.

 

Newcastle to be redesignated as Oldcastle. Its no longer fucking "new".

* is there even a fucking castle?

 

The phrase " single parent" to be replaced in all official documents as "welfare mother".

 

The colour purple to be vanished. Don't ask.

 

Crucifixion to be reinstated if you are over 75 and involved in a road accident. Doesn't matter a shit who's fault it is.

 

The G/L/B/T/F/P/H/Q community to now be referred to as " them".

 

Wummin banned from watching/presenting/being interviewed on News channels. No cunt Cares me Lovely.

 

Adverts for wummins 'health things' to only appear in The Peoples Friend.

 

Breastfeeding in public punishable by six months in Prison for the wean and public stoning of the unfit mother.

 

Cars under 2.0l to be taxed out of existence.

 

Drink drive Laws only to take effect between midday and 11 at night. Wid keep a lot of drivers off the road, making it safer for others (95% of all accidents are caused by sober cuntos).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel another Manifesto coming on....... coffee3.gif

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15 minutes ago, charon said:

England, Land of the Angles, needs renaming as Cuntoland ninja.gif

You may laugh but who is gonna be laughing when all Jock Beef is banned because it MAY be contaminated with BSE, eh?

The English, Welsh and Irish are now rubbing their hands!!!:D

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2 minutes ago, charon said:

Similar vein.

 

Cyclists need renamed as cuntlysts.

 

Price/Westbrook et al no longer to be called 'bimbos', 'hoors' a suitable replacement.

 

Newcastle to be redesignated as Oldcastle. Its no longer fucking "new".

* is there even a fucking castle?

 

The phrase " single parent" to be replaced in all official documents as "welfare mother".

 

The colour purple to be vanished. Don't ask.

 

Crucifixion to be reinstated if you are over 75 and involved in a road accident. Doesn't matter a shit who's fault it is.

 

The G/L/B/T/F/P/H/Q community to now be referred to as " them".

 

Wummin banned from watching/presenting/being interviewed on News channels. No cunt Cares me Lovely.

 

Adverts for wummins 'health things' to only appear in The Peoples Friend.

 

Breastfeeding in public punishable by six months in Prison for the wean and public stoning of the unfit mother.

 

Cars under 2.0l to be taxed out of existence.

 

Drink drive Laws only to take effect between midday and 11 at night. Wid keep a lot of drivers off the road, making it safer for others (95% of all accidents are caused by sober cuntos).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel another Manifesto coming on....... coffee3.gif

This is what we need. :D

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28 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

You may have heard in the news today that Kleenex ( MK and Deathsperms  favourite tissue ) has now, after 60 years, decided to remove the term 'Mansize' on it's boxes as one little boy asked his mummy if that meant boys, girls and ladies could not use them.

This, of course, had the Twitter brigade out to castigate the company for having such a sexist term in these times of ours, or summat.

Add to that the 'Jazz Hands' replacement for applause at Manchester University and a whole shit load of other things, I was wondering if we can get up some sort of list/ suggestions that would truly placate the current generation?

How about a demand that Manchester be renamed Peoplechester?

Being manly? How about Personly?

Wankers

 

2d6.jpg_large

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28 minutes ago, gcreptile said:

manhole - peoplehole? unihole?

unihole sounds gay

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8 minutes ago, runebomme said:

unihole sounds gay

Homophobe :P

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All media to immediately change the phrases 'Labour supporter' and ' Labour MP' to the word "flange".

 

Brexit talk re 'The Irish Border' to cease upon pain of 24/7 Lady Gaga tunes, its the British Border in Ireland ffs.

The Irish Border is the fucking beach.

 

The legal age for using Social Media to be put up to 30. Ish.

 

Anybody who says more houses need to be built or use the term " Housing Crisis" gets to go dooking for apples at Halloween, in a bucket of battery acid.

There is no fucking housing crisis, there is however, a population crisis.

 

Food labelling for ingredients should be banned. If eating a peanut can kill you, make your fucking own food you fucking freak.

 

A recurring theme, but..... Bicycle seats manufacture to be banned, as is their import or indeed usage. The pointy bit can stay.

 

Big butt surgery to get Government funding. Might rid the world of some welfare mothers to be.

 

Anyone with a car sticker along the lines of 'honk for Jesus' should get to meet them.

 

Dismantle the Rail network. Takes up vast areas that could be used for roads, and the only cunts on trains are subsidised students with their "under 50 student rail cards" , fuck them big style.

 

 

 

There will be more to follow chaplin.gif

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19 minutes ago, runebomme said:

unihole sounds gay

 

If you think about manhole sounds a whole lot more gay....

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2 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

 

If you think about manhole sounds a whole lot more gay....

 

 

First manmade object to enter Space was a manhole cover.

 

There's a joke in there.....

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Back in ma day: the thread.

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7 minutes ago, charon said:

 

 

First manmade object to enter Space was a manhole cover.

 

There's a joke in there.....

sputnik looking like a butt plug

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When is the birthday young flake?

 

* purely for looking for the ban worthy post, you understand....

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Isn't 'manhole' a type of glory hole?  :o  :D

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1 hour ago, charon said:

Cyclists need renamed as cuntlysts.

Cars under 2.0l to be taxed out of existence.

 

Excellent policy proposals there from who I now think should be Charon MP, Secretary of State for Transport.

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What the fuck is wrong with purple?

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4 minutes ago, The Quim Reaper said:

 

Excellent policy proposals there from who I now think should be Charon MP, Secretary of State for Transport.

 

 

Unfortunately for those in the Shire, my remit wid include the transport of water SotW, and I'd be turning them taps "off" :)

 

 

 

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Just now, Handrejka said:

What the fuck is wrong with purple?

 

 

That fucking dinosaur.

 

And the Quality Street.

 

 

 

/ case fucking closed  nazi.gif

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34 minutes ago, charon said:

 

 

There is no fucking housing crisis, there is however, a population crisis.

 

 

Amen!!!!!!!!!!

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44 minutes ago, charon said:

 

 

 

 

And the Quality Street.

 

 

 

 

 

The only Quality Street worth eating..

 

You are not a Drahzi are you?

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2 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

 

The only Quality Street worth eating..

 

You are not a Drahzi are you?

 

 

Nope KJV wee Prod by birth.

 

 

Oooh. Another snowflake annoyance.

 

How come the wee spotty meant to be 'cute'  and always female Greenpeace chuggers, can not give an answer as to how many millions of gallons of fuel oil they burn in their ships each year, whilst saving the World?

 

Stupid fuckers.

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3 hours ago, charon said:

 

 

Newcastle to be redesignated as Oldcastle. Its no longer fucking "new".

* is there even a fucking castle?

 

 

 

Ignoring the rest of your post because there's no point reasoning with the insane. There's been several. The romans built one of which nout remains then Henry III built where the old one was. That got neglected and a medieval housing estate popped up in the grounds.   They knocked the houses down to try and preserve the grounds a few centuries ago and then a century or so ago went and built the railways over it so only the Castle Keep and one of the gates -Black Gate - now remain. The actual castle is long gone and the grounds part of the railways now. 

 

But yes it's not been a new or even a present castle for centuries. 

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