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The Quim Reaper

The Dead of 2019

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For the benefit of the wonderful people of Kiribati, for whom 2019 hath landed (HNY!), here we have the list of the dead for the next 12 months, to begin when 2019 arrives in the land of GMT.

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Ah yes the really prominent deadpool user from Kiribati thanks you so much, whoever the fuck they are.

 

There is 14 hours to go...

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Let's not keep disregarding the people of Kiribati. (Kiris? Kiribats? Kiribatis? Kiribatians?)

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8 minutes ago, Deathray said:

Ah yes the really prominent deadpool user from Kiribati thanks you so much, whoever the fuck they are.

 

There is 14 hours to go...

Of course they is not that long until Australia sees the new year and they may well be death list candidates living there.

 

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8 minutes ago, The Old Crem said:

Of course they is not that long until Australia sees the new year and they may well be death list candidates living there.

 

 

Unfortunately I think the prime Aussie in deadpools for next year let everyone know his exact state of health far too late for inclusion on DL (as my understanding is it's firmed up in advance).

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Ah, hopefully the year that will kill Shivakumara Swami, Li Rui, Le Duc Anh, Dilip Kumar, Bishop Francis Quinn, Anne Hamilton-Byrne and maybe even Robert Mugabe.

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Just now, drol said:

Ah, hopefully the year that will kill Shivakumara Swami, Li Rui, Le Duc Anh, Dilip Kumar, Bishop Francis Quinn, Anne Hamilton-Byrne and maybe even Robert Mugabe.

 

Yes. And Leah Bracknell?

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Just now, The Quim Reaper said:

 

Yes. And Leah Bracknell?

 

Drol relies heavily on stats, not outlandish fantasy. :D

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8 minutes ago, Deathray said:

 

Unfortunately I think the prime Aussie in deadpools for next year let everyone know his exact state of health far too late for inclusion on DL (as my understanding is it's firmed up in advance).

Presumably they are ways to amend it.

What would have happened if June Whitfeild made it the provisional list-  I wonder if they have subs.

 

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6 minutes ago, The Old Crem said:

Presumably they are ways to amend it.

What would have happened if June Whitfeild made it the provisional list-  I wonder if they have subs.

 

Good point. But who the hell is June Whitfeild?

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1 minute ago, redrumours said:

Good point. But who the hell is June Whitfeild?

The night she died, for a few seconds only, her name was reported on Wikipedia Recent Deaths as "Dame June Shitfield"

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R.I.P. to all the people who will die this year. Unless you were a jackass.

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Where is the 2019 list?

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1 minute ago, Yvonne said:

Where is the 2019 list?

 

It's here, Yvonne.  Always nice to see you :)

https://deathlist.net

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Nice list.

PS Im a littke drunk of Jägermeister and Bacardi of the new year. But who the hell cares.

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IDK why I haven't asked yet, but how do you make a own personal death list?

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How many here turns 18 this year like me?

Born in 2001?

 

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10 minutes ago, Putin said:

IDK why I haven't asked yet, but how do you make a own personal death list?

 

It's not that simple.

 

  • First, you need to obtain a 'Deathlist Doctorate'. This is an intensive course partaken over 5 years, which involves plenty of tasks, starting at the bottom with accurately estimating the prognosis of 3 cancer sufferers, via successfully making Peter Falk jokes and lambasting the official DL for not picking someone who, mid-year, very suddenly fell ill and died, working your way up to the dizzying heights of reviewing lists as if you are in possession of a crystal ball.
  • Once obtained, this doctorate will be delivered via carrier pigeon to your home address. It normally manifests as a gold medal. As soon as you receive it, give it a name, charter a popemobile style vehicle, and parade it around your home town until you're arrested.
  • On being released on bail, you must wear this medal and pay a visit to a shamanic settlement. Leah Bracknell will greet you with a spliff and a glass of kale champagne. She'll teach you yoga, followed by meditation. Once you have mastered her meditation course, she will light a giant joint and softly give you blowback, until you have an epiphany.
  • You will wake up from a transient state back in your bed. The next 72 hours are crucial. You must sprint to your letterbox and await delivery of a silvery scroll, embossed with a letterhead with the Deathlist.net logo. Do not let this sit in your postbox or on your floor for any more than 10 seconds, or it will evaporate and you will need to go back to stage 1.
  • On reception of this magical parchment, pray to the great Lord and Saviour, Sir Kirk of Douglas, with your Deathlist Doctorate medal in your hand. Wrap it in lambswool, and have it delivered by camel to the Himalayas to be blessed by a Tibetan monk. He will WhatsApp you a voice note of said blessing, and lo and behold, a special quill will appear.
  • This quill is very fragile. With extreme care, and with no mistakes or corrections, you must write out your list of 50 names to perish in the forthcoming year. Do it carefully, else the quill will lose confidence in you and will write itself out, before poking you in the eye. You have just 5 minutes to write this list, before the Deathlist gods visit you, ask you to link up to a scanner, scan this parchment and upload it to the cloud.
  • Once you have successfully scanned your parchment in, and on the first correct use of a :clivedunn: upon a forum newbie, your list will appear in your signature, and the Deathlist Gods will wish you the best of luck, whilst tickling your chin with the parchment you wrote with. Only then can you say you've made it as a Deathlister.
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The year seems to have started a bit slowly so far …:huh:

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Why was Pope Benedict XVI dropped?

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9 hours in and still not a single death ! Is this the worst start  to a year we've ever had or am I being a bit premature ? 

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5 hours ago, Putin said:

Why was Pope Benedict XVI dropped?

Because his performance levels had dipped, thus, the death list manager had to make the necessary tactical changes.

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6 hours ago, Perfect Passing said:

Because his performance levels had dipped, thus, the death list manager had to make the necessary tactical changes.

Nothing about his performance level a little Viagra can't prop back up.

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1 minute ago, Sir Creep said:

Nothing about his performance level a little SPAM/SPAM/SPAM can't prop back up.


WTF is THIS ^^^^^^  SPAM filter???????  

MODS, STAT

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