Paul Bearer 5,642 Posted April 26, 2019 Thinking back on my life, realising I might only have about 15 - 30 (hopefully the latter) years left on this mortal plain, I thought what can I legitimately claim as a claim to fame but can't prove it. (Hope that made sense). My claim is I managed to have an amazing fart** that lasted over 30 seconds. (Started counting at about 7 seconds). Mind you, I started to control it after the 7 seconds and counted to about 30-32 before it came to an end. Do you have a legitimate unofficial world record claim? **for the record, this happened about 30 years ago. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,119 Posted April 26, 2019 I probably have the most shitty posts in a 3 year period on the Deathlist forums... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Impends 7,361 Posted April 26, 2019 I love the tonal shift from a serious-toned reflection on one's mortality to letting out a massive fart. 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
En Passant 2,932 Posted April 27, 2019 I'd have said it was reasonably difficult to go downhill from Pauls starter. How wrong can one be? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,933 Posted April 27, 2019 Surely the right attitude to this would be to find a world record that nobody else has managed yet and create it (if it's accepted by Guinness). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 5,642 Posted April 27, 2019 8 hours ago, Clorox Bleachman said: Was that you? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 12,066 Posted April 27, 2019 30 seconds? Ah soddit, I had to stop one I conjured up in the office the other day at about 20 seconds through fear of it becoming a shart, so fair play. My fart was, however, so utterly disgusting it deserves a record for most destruction to the nasal passages caused by one rectal tremor. It was so noxious and inhumanly foul, it's standing as a candidate for the Brexit Party in the European elections. As for non-fart-related record activity, I'm struggling to think...I drove from Billericay to Spalding in 1hr 14mins once? Would Guinness accept a record as menial and largely illegal as that? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,011 Posted April 27, 2019 I had a friend -- well actually he was my best buddy who died last August -- he drank an entire beer while at the urinal ance. Gotta be a record for recycling the fastest. SC 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,011 Posted April 28, 2019 Most Llasa Apso mixes raped by a single man. (1) Oh, this isn't the direction you intended this thread? Damn shame innit. SC Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,011 Posted May 2, 2019 Just carried on a continuous FB Messenger conversation from 8:48am CST 01 May 2019 to 5:23am CST 02 May 2019. That's 20 hours and 35 minutes long. Only two people who suck at sleeping could pull that off! SC / Notorious B.O.U. [Edit: “Haha at DL Unofficial World Records. It was pretty impressive. Could put messenger / Facebook call as there were at least three in that time” - Bou] 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DevonDeathTrip 2,288 Posted May 2, 2019 I'm quite proud of my record of once staying awake for just a few hours short of a week. (Was at a techno festival and wanted to get my money's worth) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bladan 291 Posted May 2, 2019 A doctor who had studied my patient history told me: "I have worked over 30 years as a MD, and you're the craziest creep I ever met! Are you stupid or what? Your brain should be X-rayed!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,840 Posted May 11, 2019 I've just gone two whole weeks without wearing anything purple , not a world record but a personal best. 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
