maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted April 29, 2019 21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day. Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2019 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!) The Duke still has the DRIVE to serve as MC this year! Ah....the Masterlist, excellent!! 1. Clorox Bleachman: Ani Yudhoyono 2. Quim Reaper: Lee Kerslake please 3. GC Reptile: Demetris Cristofias 4. Spade Cooley: MC Ren 5. Theoldlady: Ric Flair 6. YoungWillz: Pervez Musharraf 7. Captain Chorizo: Javier Perez De Cuellar 8. The Old Crem: Micheal Sleggs (Actor) 9. Bibliogryphon: Alun Gwynne Jones, Baron Chalfont 10. Yorkshire Banker: Vivian Pickles 11. Great Uncle Bulgaria: Kathleen Blanco 12. Book: Tom Long 13. Msc: Ivan Milat 14. Grim up North: David Powlison 15. Joey Russ: Chinese dissent Ji Sizun 16. Death Impends: S. Prestley Blake 17. Skinny Kiltrunner: Ernesto Cardenal 18. Fixed Business: Leah Bracknell 19. Sean: Fernando Ricksen 20. Pedro67: Jill Gascoine 21. MPFC: Nobby Stiles 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted April 29, 2019 And those Rules in Full: 1 - The object of the MMMDP is to WIN. 2 - To enter the MMMDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant. A “candidate” in this context means a living person aged 18 or over who remains alive at midnight on May 31st and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit – see rule 9 below – upon death. The only exception to this rule are persons residing on death row with an execution falling within June 2019 (feel free to risk a death rower due to take the final walk from 1 July). 3 - Entries open at 9-00am BST on 31st May and close at midnight on 31 May. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the MMMDP thread on the Deathlist. 4 – The competition is deemed to be open at 00-01 BST hrs on 1 June 2019. 5 – Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate. 6 – Entry is limited to 21 players (twenty who are obliged to post entries on the MMMDP thread and Maryport who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavour). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 21 players to compete for a death within 21 days thereby giving us a victory by midsummer’s day at the latest. If you’re snoozin’ you’re losing. 6a – Because he has forced his own entry Maryport guarantees to respect the first 20 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others. 7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate – even if the entry times are within the same minute. 8 – In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required. 9 - An "obit" in the context of the MMMDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties. 10 – The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the MMMDP. In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the MMMDP all points will be voided. RHME points are only available during competition and in the event that a winner has been declared before discovery of a qualifying RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory – once declared – is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win. 10a – To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day. 11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the MMMDP and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of MMMDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the MMMDP thread by venting their fury). 12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the MMMDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into MMMDPs. 13 – In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 31 May fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 June to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement. 14 - A prize will be awarded as follows: i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcoholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping. ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Death Race movie supplied to the 2009 Deathrace). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with six of the seven existing winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be. AND FINALLY... On completion of MMMDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #1 Kathleen Blanco Looks like the palliative procedures for this titan of US public service. Q/o nailed-on by the low hanging standards of this fun fest of fatality so she's hot hot hot property providing she palliates (is that even a word) into position to play on 1 June! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #2 John McCririck Plenty of smoke surrounds his current ill-health but who gets to fire first and fill in a post hereabouts to claim the cooling carcass if this one falls at the first in the June stakes? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sean 6,337 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide 3: Leslie Phillips Has the 95 year old legendary actor had has last ding dong? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sean 6,337 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #4 Walter Mondale Oldest Living Former US vice President and Democratic Presidential nominee. he lost in 80 but could the 91 year old prove a winner for some deadpooler this summer? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,986 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #5 Jorge Toro The Reaper has had quite the itch for 60's era footballers in 2019,and the 80 year old Chilean has been battling Leukemia for several years now. Anyone picking him just might score the opening goal of MMMDP 2019. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,727 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #6 Olivia Newton John Summer dyin' had me a blast Summer dyin' happened so fast The clue is in the lyrics folks! 1 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,542 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #7 Norma Miller Before fat white girls wearing polka dots colonised it, the lindy hop was actually done by real live black people. Head among these was the "Queen of Swing" Norma Miller. Our Norma's not been in the best health recently, with a dose of congestive heart failure stopping any jumps, jives and wails. However - she has promised to make it to her 100th birthday in December. Do you think Miller Time will be called earlier? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,727 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #8 John Nettles Did someone say dead? Did someone say Midsummer? 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,986 Posted April 29, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #9 Rosita Quintana This Golden Age Era Mexican Actress is the countries equivalent of Sumner Redstone/Le Duc Anh/Dilip Kumar etc. An immortal who has looked like they are in Death's waiting room for years Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted April 30, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #10 Abu Bakr a-Baghdadi You got Osama but you can't get me, do-dah do-dah. You got Osama but you can't get...oh, what's that in the sky, is it a bird, is it a plane, is it a...DRONE? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted April 30, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #11 Leah Bracknell Tried and tested tease-monger where dead pooling is concerned. If there was an all British production of the Zsa Zsa Gabor story the soap star would suffice when it came to casting the lead role. Still sporadically active so whether she's a sound selection for summertime surprise death is highly debateable but someone might just go there! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted April 30, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #12 Lee Kerslake Former whining cunt drummer for Ozzy Osborne, you'll have a Uriah Heep of luck with Lee as your MMMDP entry! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,592 Posted April 30, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide 13 Tom Baker Has the end come? Prepare for it by picking Tom as your MMMDP pick. Then just Watch. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,408 Posted April 30, 2019 14 hours ago, maryportfuncity said: MMMDP Form Guide #11 Leah Bracknell Tried and tested tease-monger where dead pooling is concerned. If there was an all British production of the Zsa Zsa Gabor story the soap star would suffice when it came to casting the lead role. Still sporadically active so whether she's a sound selection for summertime surprise death is highly debateable but someone might just go there! I can't think who...? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FixedBusiness 407 Posted April 30, 2019 MMMDP FORUM GUIDE 14 - Sam Lloyd Diagnosed with terminal brain tumor and lung cancer recently, will you be able to scrub out a victory with Ted - Sam Lloyd - Buckland? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted May 1, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #15Renee Simonot Whereas all your opponents are looking for one good reason to pick their entry, you'll have 107 good reasons for choosing Renee. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FixedBusiness 407 Posted May 1, 2019 MMMDP Forum Guide 16 - Baron Waqa While most have their minds set on former Nauru president Sprent Dabwido because of his failing health, we should not forget about current Nauru president Baron who @Predictor made this comment about: Oh, and then there the bastard Baron Waqa, whose size rivals that of the nation he is governing. Still one of my favorite comments ever on this website Anyways, pick the fat fuck. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted May 1, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #17Captain Colonel Senator Bob Dole Fresh off his “honorary appointment” from captain to the grade of colonel! Just LOOK at how excited Bob is! He will be beside himself if chosen for MMMDP 2019. (EDIT -- LMAO didn't notice the 'you are not forgotten' banner behind him.....poetic). 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted May 1, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #18 Ozzy Sole survivor of the original 1987 Deathlist and a man known for his ability to tear up form guides such as these. His missus says she fears his death. A statement that usually means he's got dates in the diary and a few unsold tickets. But we all thought Lemmy to be gifted with rock n roll immunity to life threatening conditions. Three score and ten did for the Lemster - Ozzy hit that age on 3 December last year. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted May 2, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #19 Herman Wouk Famous author who's love of a decent ending hasn't been obvious in his personal life. 103, mind - debateable how many pages he's got left in him. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,986 Posted May 3, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #20Corinne Marchand Might be the optimal choice for anyone picking from 5 to 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,542 Posted May 3, 2019 MMMDP Form Guide #21 David Prowse With one Star Wars lummox saying his goodbyes this week, could he be followed by another? The man whose voice was sadly deleted from history because George Lucas didn't want Darth Vader to sound like a member of the Wurzels hasn't been in great health over recent years, so it's not a bad bet. And you know he'll look both ways before crossing the Styx. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sean 6,337 Posted May 3, 2019 On 01/05/2019 at 01:16, Sir Creep said: MMMDP Form Guide #15Renee Simonot Whereas all your opponents are looking for one good reason to pick their entry, you'll have 107 good reasons for choosing Renee. Isn't that picture De Havilland? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites