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Spade_Cooley

Alan Brazil

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I've mentioned him a few times here, but this is a photo from his radio show the other day. Has he now beaten Jim Neidhart to the record of the man with the highest blood pressure in history?

 

 

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Roast gammon.

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That's what drinking every day for the last 30 years does for you.

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10 minutes ago, Arsewipe said:

That's what drinking every day for the last 30 years does for you.

Waiting for the day when he combusts live on air. His Blood pressure must be through the roof and his liver must be pickled, it's a miracle he has lasted so long. Having said all that quite jealous of the fat fucker to be fair his job is going to all the greatest sporting events and he gets paid to get as pissed as a fart, who wouldn't want to live the life Brazil does. 

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35 minutes ago, Fergie86 said:

Waiting for the day when he combusts live on air. His Blood pressure must be through the roof and his liver must be pickled, it's a miracle he has lasted so long. Having said all that quite jealous of the fat fucker to be fair his job is going to all the greatest sporting events and he gets paid to get as pissed as a fart, who wouldn't want to live the life Brazil does. 

 

Not a bad gig he's got getting paid to talk shite and then get pissed every day. That said, he must know the odds on him making 70 must be very slim.

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32 minutes ago, Arsewipe said:

 

Not a bad gig he's got getting paid to talk shite and then get pissed every day. That said, he must know the odds on him making 70 must be very slim.

I agree the chances of him living to age 70 or above is pretty low but I don’t think he is the type to care, he will probably just drop dead one day of a heart attack or stroke, Alan Brazil will probably think that is a better way of going then lingering on for years and who can blame him.

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On 16/05/2019 at 09:39, Spade_Cooley said:

I've mentioned him a few times here, but this is a photo from his radio show the other day. Has he now beaten Jim Neidhart to the record of the man with the highest blood pressure in history?

 

 

 

 

So, random uses for Alan Brazil between Talksport shows:

 

1 - Stick him up against a bedroom wall in winter and save on turning on the storage radiators

2 - Emergency cover for any defective red traffic light

3 - A ready reckoner colour chart for use wherever fire engines are painted

 

C'mon people - there must be other applications of this strange natural phenomena

 

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23 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said:

 

 

So, random uses for Alan Brazil between Talksport shows:

 

1 - Stick him up against a bedroom wall in winter and save on turning on the storage radiators

2 - Emergency cover for any defective red traffic light

3 - A ready reckoner colour chart for use wherever fire engines are painted

 

C'mon people - there must be other applications of this strange natural phenomena

 

 

Rudolph’s backup nose

A replacement for the sun once it dies out (seems to be he’ll be around that long)

When he finally croaks, his heart will be used to supply water pressure to the entirety of Africa 

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On 16/05/2019 at 09:39, Spade_Cooley said:

I've mentioned him a few times here, but this is a photo from his radio show the other day. Has he now beaten Jim Neidhart to the record of the man with the highest blood pressure in history?

 

 

This is a job for the oompah loompahs! They need to get him to the juicing machine pronto, they saved Violet Beauregarde, they can save him!!!

 violet-beauregarde.jpg.5b6678d041de6999b8f33e0c51b25f9b.jpg

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He has always looked old even when he played he looked 20 years older than he was 

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Alan seems unconvinced by the concept of "heat stroke"

 

 

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Out absoloutley hammered, on a school  night/afternoon with Ray Parlour.  Can't be good for his blood pressure.  Might listen to TalkSport tomorrow, should be an interesting listen

 

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Going into “semi-retirement” after his latest “missing a post-Cheltenham show with a ‘bad back”” incident. Laura Woods to replace him on TalkSPORT breakfast.

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7 minutes ago, Spade_Cooley said:

Going into “semi-retirement” after his latest “missing a post-Cheltenham show with a ‘bad back”” incident. Laura Woods to replace him on TalkSPORT breakfast.

Plenty of free time now to do some serious drinking probably dead by Christmas with Alcohol poisoning.

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Strange video here on Brazil's Twitter feed. Lumbering around, talking to cardboard cutouts of Ray Parlour and Ally McCoist, drinking wine and talking about beer.   I think his breathing sounds laboured as well.  

 

 

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Genuinely feel bad for the guy. Has clearly never got over the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of Jim Torbett at Celtic Boys Club when he was 13. Clearly sees getting constantly c**ted as a way to deal with it.

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20 hours ago, Miracle Aligner said:

I'd never heard of this guy. 

 

The fat fuck used to be a footballer? 

Yes, and a very good one.

 

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41 minutes ago, Spade_Cooley said:

Alan taking a stand against Fruit Pastilles going vegan:

 

 

 

13 minutes ago, DCI Frank Burnside said:

Alan musn't have much to be worrying about if he's annoyed by this :D

I would have thought he was more of a wafer-thin mint man.

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Surely the tagline of this thread should change from “One colour: Red” to “The Colour Purple”. :P

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3 hours ago, Ulitzer95 said:

Surely the tagline of this thread should change from “One colour: Red” to “The Colour Purple”. :P

Or simply "nut" 

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12 hours ago, Spade_Cooley said:

Alan taking a stand against Fruit Pastilles going vegan:

 

 

I am surprised   they haven’t picked up on the other groups who tend to not eat food with Gelatine in, 

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