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Deathrace 2020

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It's fast, it's furious it's f***in' good fun. Teams of 20 topplers posted on this thread or PM'd to MPFC will be collected into a masterlist to provide a carnival of carnage, the counting of which goes live in the first second of 2020. Points aplenty pour into the scoreboard until someone snags the stupendous total of 2020, at which point the event that used to be the fastest deadpool in common useage (until MPFC started something faster!) slams on the brakes and the lucky winner is duly given metaphorical back-slaps and allowed to claim a prize worth about a tenner (though tradition thus far dictates this turns into a charitable donation)*. Closing date for entries is midnight on 30 December 2019.

 

Could that be a winning smile from 103 year old Kirk Douglas?

 

rs_1024x759-180829091909-1024-Kirk-Dougl

 

 

 

In it to win it this year are...

 

Bibliogryphon - bg

Etushispushingupdaisies - ep

Great Uncle Bulgaria - gb

Markb4 - m4

Maryportfuncity - mp

The Quim Reaper - qr

Sean - sn

The Engineer - te

The Unknown Man - um

 

Top talent aplenty in our list of previous champions:

 

 

2009 - Raskolnikov

2010 - Nobody, I mean f***in' nobody, reached the winning points total

2011 - DDT

2012 - Spade Cooley

2013 - DDT

2014 - Death Impends

2015 - MSC

2016 - DDT

2017 - Death Impends

2018 - MSC

2019 - Phantom of the Midway

 

 

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This'll be the List of the Lost, then - ably presided over by a champion loser of the plot:

 

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List of the Lost:

 

 

And let's have a look at the old Scoreboard!

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This'll be the Masterlist then.

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Deathrace 2020 - Those Rules in Full:


1 - The object of the Deathrace is to be the first contestant to reach 2020 points.

2 - To enter the Deathrace a contestant must have:

i: a team of twenty topplers and a minimum of two subs ("topplers" must be at least 18 years old on 1 Jan 2020; but are otherwise unrestricted).
ii: Deathlist membership (i.e. be at least a pointless ranter and at most a dedicated Cumbrian corpse hound, or summat)

2a: A player may enter as many team members facing execution as s/he wants but said picks will only count for deathrace points if they die by means other than state execution - murder, suicide, ill health etc.

3 - Entries close promptly at midnight on 30 December and entry can be made either by sending a team of twenty to MPFC via PM hereabouts and/or by posting a team of twenty on the Deathrace 2020 thread.

3a: Once a team has entered in the manner described above the line-up can’t be changed for any other reason than the death of a team member before the start of the competition. In the event of a team being short of members because of more deaths than available subs MPFC will negotiate last minute changes with the team manager.

4 - Players score points every time a team member dies and accrues an obit (see point 9 below) and the score for each death is calculated as one point for each complete calendar day remaining in 2020 after the death of the team member; so a death on 1 January earns 364 pts, a death on 2 January earns 363 pts etc.

5 - Each team must nominate one member as a joker and the joker scores double points on death. Any team submitted without a clearly nominated joker will be allotted said joker on the basis of the name at the top of the team sheet being so designated.

6 - The winner is the first player to reach or exceed 2020 pts.

7 - In the event that a death or deaths on a specific day push more than one player beyond a winning score the player with the highest overall score will be deemed to be the winner.

8 - In the event that two or more players tie for victory a Deathrace play off will ensue with all potential winners continuing to compete until such time as one potential winner scores more points than any other potential winner (such points continuing to be accrued as per the scoring system described in point 4 above).

9 - An "obit" in the context of the Deathrace is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties.

10 - To qualify for entry purposes team members must be alive at 00-01 hrs on 1 January 2020 or qualify for the Raymond Hewlitt Memorial Exemption (RHME) (see point 11).

11 - In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive on 1 January and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded 365 points in the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the Deathrace all points will be voided. RHME points are only available during competition and in the event that a winner has been declared before discovery of a qualifyiing RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME points and these points are still in play at the time a winner is declared the points will not subsequently be voided and may - therefore - count towards a championship. All disputes relating to RHME will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury).

 

11a - Similarly to pt 11 above, if an obited death occurs during play of the Deathrace and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of Deathrace participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11a will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury).

 

12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of teams, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the Deathrace and banned for life from subsequent entry into Deathraces.

13 - The prize will be awarded as follows:

i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping.

ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Deathrace movie supplied to the 2009 champion). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with four of the five existing winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be.


AND FINALLY...

A masterlist of entries will be posted after the closing date.

MPFC will undertake to update the scoreboard at least once every seven days.

On completion of Deathrace activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.

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Form Guide #1 - Willie Nelson

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Will Willie be on the minds of the Deathrace players for 2020? We’ll have to wait and see...

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Form Guide #2

 

kirk-douglas-2012-vanity-fair-oscar-part

 

 

Kirk Douglas

 

Put it this way - the picture above counts as a young and good looking Kirk compared to today's version, if he sees 1st Jan we likely see a long line of initials of the teams who selected him on the masterlist

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Form Guide #3 - Nehemiah Persoff

 

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Veteran character actor who provides a surviving link to a number of classics. Suffering a stroke in 1989 saw him switch his career to the strokes of the paintbrush, which has worked well enough for him to enter the 100 Club earlier this year. If he dies early 2020, the On the Waterfront cab driver could make you a contender in the Deathrace.

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REET gang, we're up and running so feel free to start spamming me with entries

 

A note here, there's a minor tweak to the rules regarding jokers - mainly to save time and effort on my part. Basically, if you forget to nominate a joker then the first name on your list is the default joker and I won't chase you to remedy that.

 

As - I believe - Boris Johnson keeps saying, let's get this shit done!

 

boris-johnson-2.png

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Form Guide #4- John Travolta

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/40/61/d9/4061d95d1c39b9442793cff2631637cb.jpg

 

If it's Xenu's will it won't be Olivia as the one the Reaper wants from Grease

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Form Guide #5 -Uljana Semjonova

image.png.21f6329e1553c49066b9ce6d10df9ba9.png

 

The 7ft Tall  Basketball Hall Of Famer is one of the tallest women in the world. Now in her late 60's she has already outlived the life expectancy of almost every other female giant. If you want to increase the average height of your squad she might be a pick for you.

 

 

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Form Guides #6 and #7 - Alex Trebek and Johnny Gilbert

 

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Alex Trebek needs little introduction to the DeathList community, but if he needs to be introduced it can only be by his longtime announcer Johnny Gilbert. Though Johnny still looks and sounds great for his age, that age is 95. If an Alex/Johnny Daily Double happens in January, the Deathrace could be over faster than even a typical James Holzhauer Jeopardy! game.

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Form Guide #9

 

1035x690-crosby-1800-1389369512.jpg

 

David Crosby

 

Despite a late career resurgance and the improbable celebration of CSNY's 50th anniversary (i.e. the four of them are still alive) this year Crosby remains a dead pool target on the back of years of drug addiction and his own admission of carrying on with a range of health issues; the main issues being type 2 diabetes, and drug and alcohol addiction. He may have been in recovery for years but his transplated liver has now been in his ravaged body for a quarter of a century and Crosby is 78 years old. Obits nailed on as and when.

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Form Guide #10

 

boris-pahor_mf.jpg

 

Boris Pahor

 

Novelist and noted holocaust survivor who might be handy to have around if you run out of matches because those bins would focus sunlight and turn combustible materials to a raging inferno once a modicum of sunlight was focussed through them. Whether the 106 year old would be useful to have around on a team of 20 topplers with time a major factor in the scoring process is anyone's guess for 2020.

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Form Guide #11

image.png.85c5e440605798d7827b6d9c0dd06872.png

Tommy Lasorda

 

 

The oldest living Baseball Hall Of Famer is also one of the fattest. 92 and with as many past heart attacks as he's suffered him being alive still is a bit of an outlier

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10 hours ago, Gooseberry Crumble said:

I will be entering again cheers to you @maryportfuncity

 

 

Currently contestantless - so that's good news:)

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Form Guide #12

 

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Doddie Weir

 

Scottish rugby legand and recent motor neurone case - his public appearances in the context of fundraising for the cause that's claiming his life have - of late - shown a marked decline in his abilities. Bit of an outside bet for early demise but these cases have sometimes progressed very quickly

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2 hours ago, maryportfuncity said:

Form Guide #12

 

cup-1040612.jpg?r=1541327153728

 

Doddie Weir

 

Scottish rugby legand and recent motor neurone case - his public appearances in the context of fundraising for the cause that's claiming his life have - of late - shown a marked decline in his abilities. Bit of an outside bet for early demise but these cases have sometimes progressed very quickly


I was at an event in aid of the charity which he attended on 10th July. He was chatting, laughing and joking and walking round mingling with people.

 

if I hadn’t known he was ill I wouldn’t have known he was ill.

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6 hours ago, Grim Up North said:


I was at an event in aid of the charity which he attended on 10th July. He was chatting, laughing and joking and walking round mingling with people.

 

if I hadn’t known he was ill I wouldn’t have known he was ill.

 

 

Oh, right - so long shot then, unless the missus gives him Dignitas membership for Christmas

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Sorry if I missed it, but is there an opening date for entries? Or can we submit our entries from now?

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On 29/11/2019 at 03:59, markb4 said:

Sorry if I missed it, but is there an opening date for entries? Or can we submit our entries from now?

 

 

Fire away m4b - or anyone else for that matter

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2 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

I will send my team in the next week.

 

 

Just PM them or post them here

 

If they turn up at my front door I'm not sure the over-stretched NHS could cope with the state of all 20 of them at once

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Do I post my 20 topplers and 2 subs here? I have decided to be bold and give Deathrace 2020 a go as well as just doing my Shadowlist. 

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6 minutes ago, Steve said:

Do I post my 20 topplers and 2 subs here? I have decided to be bold and give Deathrace 2020 a go as well as just doing my Shadowlist. 

 

 

Either here or via a PM on this site - your call, but anything that saves me giving up all of New Year's Eve to compiling duties is welcome at MPFC Towers.

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