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Lord Fellatio Nelson

What are you doing to kill the boredom.

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22 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Is that the one where a woman was attacked by a croc and has a big scar on her face?

I preferred Sons and Daughters and The Sullivans, which starred the Australian Queen of TV and Theatre Lorraine Bayly.

She is deffo obitable and will be due an Aussie state funeral, or summat.

Yes and her face gets reconstructed by a plastic surgeon who looks like Kenny Rogers and sounds like Roger Moore. I'm about halfway through and it's even better than I remembered. Thank God for piratebay.

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Hello all, long time since my last post. I am working from home which requires me getting out of bed and moving to my sofa for the day in front of a laptop, in between essential work I get to have fab irreverent  group video chats with my colleagues  every day which often descend into the normal innuendo chats we would have in the office. My  boss described them last week as 'mental health therapy' and they really are, laughter is often the best medicine. I have been at home now since March 12th - yes we worked out early that staying at home was the best idea, sometime before Boris did. Boredom is still a factor and when not working I can be seen stalking the dog that lives across the road from my windows - I lost my own dog in December  to heart failure- and playing computer games. Steam and Big Fish Games have been my solace these days. Stay safe folks and 

now I have finally found out how to log in here again I may well be around a bit more :-)

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1 hour ago, Lady Grendel said:

Hello all, long time since my last post. I am working from home which requires me getting out of bed and moving to my sofa for the day in front of a laptop, in between essential work I get to have fab irreverent  group video chats with my colleagues  every day which often descend into the normal innuendo chats we would have in the office. My  boss described them last week as 'mental health therapy' and they really are, laughter is often the best medicine. I have been at home now since March 12th - yes we worked out early that staying at home was the best idea, sometime before Boris did. Boredom is still a factor and when not working I can be seen stalking the dog that lives across the road from my windows - I lost my own dog in December  to heart failure- and playing computer games. Steam and Big Fish Games have been my solace these days. Stay safe folks and 

now I have finally found out how to log in here again I may well be around a bit more :-)

 

Good to see you back!
 

You will quickly find that I’m no longer the worst thing about this forum. The calibre has got much, much worse. :)

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We have been in isolation now for 10 days after OSP jr took a temp (38.5) and a cough, he's fine most likley pollen. So I have started to wage a war on the starlings in the garden as they are eating the small birds' food/ shitein everywhere, but the only thing I have is the child's nerf gun as I don't have a bb gun and can't even buy one online ffs. I also needed a haircut so let  7 year old do it......... 

 

it turned out well only he now wants to do it from now on, and how long will it be to he starts to charge me the same as the barber!!! lol

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I haven't been furloughed by my employer yet, but it is a matter of time. The sector that my organisation is in , aviation, is well fucked so I'm going to spend time updating my cv. Obviously nobody else will be looking for a job when this all over so I'll have trouble walking into a well paid role! :)

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I'm retired so work isn't an issue.  We have all we need so my wife and I are staying away from people (including a daughter and two grandsons which sucks).  Besides watching more TV, I've increased my physical activity (yoga, long woods walks, kayaking, fishing, strength work and soon turkey hunting). 

 

I have tremendous respect and admiration for all those on the front lines but my duty (stay the f*** home) has been easy.

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The man from the council doing a repair and dressing up exactly like the scary men from the U.S government in E.T gave me a call from a personal mobile number asking how I was, and nothing at all about the repair. His name is James.

 

Is this protocol now?

 

Maybe he was really bored perhaps? It does seem a bit unprofessional anyways, bored or no.

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On 09/04/2020 at 02:05, Boudicca said:

The man from the council doing a repair and dressing up exactly like the scary men from the U.S government in E.T gave me a call from a personal mobile number asking how I was, and nothing at all about the repair. His name is James.

 

Is this protocol now?

 

Maybe he was really bored perhaps? It does seem a bit unprofessional anyways, bored or no.

 

They may be being asked to do this due to Covid to try and identify potentially vulnerable people who slipped through the net to get help to them: however he should have clearly explained that and used a work mobile. 

 

Or he's a sleazebag.... 

 

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On 09/04/2020 at 02:05, Boudicca said:

The man from the council doing a repair and dressing up exactly like the scary men from the U.S government in E.T gave me a call from a personal mobile number asking how I was, and nothing at all about the repair. His name is James.

 

Is this protocol now?

 

Maybe he was really bored perhaps? It does seem a bit unprofessional anyways, bored or no.

Did he ask you what colour knickers you were wearing?

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5 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Did he ask you what colour knickers you were wearing?

Was that your M.O.?

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42 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Was that your M.O.?

Yes.

What colour knickers have you got on?

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42 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Yes.

What colour knickers have you got on?

I don’t know - I can’t remember as far back as this morning and once they’re on I can’t see them because my belly’s in the way. 

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Well I'm still working, but my normal job is 95% defunct, so been diverted to Highways. Weirdly enough, it feels pretty safe being in a van alone all day checking for defects and having very limited contact with the public. 

 

What I'm finding the most annoying is the staff working from home have turned into the worst keyboard warriors. Do this, do that without the basic knowledge of the stuff we are having to face, not least the prospect of going out into the community and thinking could this be the day I catch it.

 

It didn't help matters that my employer declared us all keyworkers, but got caught out as the 750k volunteers came forward for Boris. Now it's a case of work or we'll furlough you and that may affect your pension.....

 

Once this is over, I fear for the fights and battles ahead, as management arent coming through this well compared us lot just getting on with the job.

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Currently the local social mecca seems to be the allotments.  Magically several unused plots have been snapped up overnight, and they have become a sort of pub substitute (BYOB).  I may have a stroll past with the dog in a minute.

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I have dusted my bookshelves today whilst listening to the Off Menu podcast with Ed Gamble and James Acaster, while the old man is sewing his work trousers up.  We might play dominos later, except he’s very competitive and I have won Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit over the weekend so I think he might pussy out.

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7 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

I have dusted my bookshelves today whilst listening to the Off Menu podcast with Ed Gamble and James Acaster, while the old man is sewing his work trousers up.  We might play dominos later, except he’s very competitive and I have won Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit over the weekend so I think he might pussy out.

 

That's a great podcast! Always on when I'm in the kitchen.

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13 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

I have dusted my bookshelves today

 

Ah yes, that's on my to-do list as well.  Isn't it strange how books take up about four times the space when they're removed from the shelves.

I really should weed them out a bit too, but can't really move them on anywhere as things stand.

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We listened to the Christmas one with Greg Davies, I usually listen when I’m cooking tea and washing up and heard this one a week or two back and it was so funny I insisted on listening again today. Absolutely love it!

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My dad I swear can never not do something. He usually plays at least two hours of tennis a week with his doubles partner, but the tennis clubs are currently closed so they can't do anything. Also his work has dried up. This weekend he's been cleaning the drainpipes and now painting them.

 

I don't think i've ever seen him relax and just read a book.

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Just now, Toast said:

 

Ah yes, that's on my to-do list as well.  Isn't it strange how books take up about four times the space when they're removed from the shelves.

I really should weed them out a bit too, but can't really move them on anywhere as things stand.

I cannot lie - there are seven shelves, with a grand total of nine books - the rest are filled with photos, crappy trinkets, and various bottles of alcohol and drinking glasses :D

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38 minutes ago, Gooseberry Crumble said:

Is masturbation a valid answer?

 

Asking for a friend...:P

I can't even summon up the energy to do that.

14 more fucking days of this shit now, if I make it that far.

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2 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

I can't even summon up the energy to do that.

14 more fucking days of this shit now, if I make it that far.

Oh I always have the energy for that!A vivid imagination and pornhub are wonderful assistants in this important endeavor!:D

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Exchanging photos with colleagues of pets 'helping' us whilst we are home working.

 

I sent her a picture of my pussy and she sent me a picture of her snake.

 

As long as it is that way round we don't have to involve HR

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