RIP Wee Jum

The Dolly Parton Tour Bus

Louis Farrakhan

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.” “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy"

I can't believe it's pancake Tuesday next week! That's just crêped up on me.

Hopefully three people on the list are going to die soon then

Just seen a French footballer playing on a nintendo... It was Thierry on Wii

Call me Jummie Burns

Gazza is (apparently) back on the sauce so I'll give him a go

8 Theresa May lookalikes that are so accurate you will go “blimey, I am seeing double” https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/01/23/8-theresa-may-lookalikes/

Cant find a link byr Peter Wyngarde died

Thats not til the end of April 28/04 he will of been sacked by then

Thats Stoke getting relegated

As much as I hate him it was a very generous thing to do

I was walking down the street and somebody threw cheese at me Very mature

Former Dundee footballer John McGlashan dies aged 50 https://www.scotsman.com/regions/dundee-tayside/former-dundee-footballer-john-mcglashan-dies-aged-50-1-4658315 Sad news, he was a good guy

As Deadco hate us so much it would be fun if Dundee United were the ones to benefit for them getting relagasted AGAIN. The only good thing that useless twat Stephen Thomson has ever done is, with the help of Turnbull Hutton (RIP), push for a major punishment. F**k the Zombies

rangersmedia is where the loonys live http://forum.rangersmedia.co.uk/forum/1-the-bears-den/

Last night my friend David lost his ID. Now I call him Dav.

And they call Skeletor the "bad guy". Pretty sure that is sexual assault