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  1. 20 points
    China releases the name of its first corona virus victim. Ah Chu.
  2. 20 points
    Front page is up Yep, we know about the various anomalies in the text that can be fixed in a quiet week in March. The team descriptions will be updated, the names all standardised (though those with a capital surname were last picked in 2017!), and so on. Oh and if it says on the List of Teams your email doesn't work, ignore that... Obviously the LOTL and LOTM pages revert to 2019 because there isn't officially any yet. (Well, there are for the Missed but let's let Reptile sleep for a bit...) All up to date bar Samantha Last who will be in the next update. All thats left for now is to thank Grim for all the data processing over the Christmas holidays, Spade Cooley for hanging around and Agony Uncle-ing every single issue possible, and the man Reptile who sat for 4 days and worked through every single bug and fixed them. Legends, all of them.
  3. 20 points
    Just a heads up, we should be seeing the first update this weekend. Teams, drop 40 and the first 12 deaths of the year.
  4. 19 points
    INVERSE DEAD POOL 2020 Another new year arrives, and with that comes another round of reckoning the lingering prowess of the DDP's most popular selections. Of the 16 expiries throughout 2019, drol only selected 3 and notched his second win in the process. Rules From the list of the 50 most popular DDP picks of 2020, pick a team of 25 names who you think will survive the year. Rank your list in order of least likely to die to most likely to die. Post your team in this thread. If someone dies and they are listed on your team, then you will receive points according to their position. If your #1 pick dies you'll receive 25 points, whilst if your #25 pick dies you'll receive 1 point. If someone dies and they are not on your list, then you receive no points. In case one of the names available for entry dies before the submission deadline, you are allowed to have one sub. The sub can be anyone from the top 50 or the 51st most popular name, who will be revealed alongside the top 50. The 51st name can not be part of the original 25 if no one dies. In the case of one of your original team dying pre-deadline, the sub goes into 25th place by default, but if the sub was previously the 51st, you are allowed to change the position of the new pick. If the above scenario happens, you are also allowed to name a new sub and I will reveal the 52nd most popular name. Whoever has the lowest score at the end of the year is the winner. If two or more teams are tied at the end of the year, the tie will first be decided by who has less hits. If they have an equal amount of hits, then whoever among the teams died latest in the year, and thus came closest to being a correct prediction, will decide the winner. If said name was on multiple teams in the tie, whoever had said name lowest will win. If multiple teams had said name in the same position, the second most recently-deceased name will be referred to, and so on, until a winner is found. If, by some alignment of the stars, the tie is of either no hits or of all of the exact same hits in the exact same positions, all teams in the tie share victory. Credit to Toast for inadvertently coming up with a peach of a topic description, and of course, credit to Spade for creating this wonderful game. Credit to Dead Cow for his job as previous host, laying the framework for the Inverse Dead Pool's OP, and the idea for a "dies during entry period" rule. Credit to machotrouts for the suggestion of the latest hits factoring into tiebreakers. Previous Winners 2019 - drol 2018 - machotrouts 2017 - drol 2016 - Pedro67 2015 - Death Impends 2014 - Bibliogryphon 2013 - N/A 2012 - Esturian Float 2011 - Garn2 Top 50 George Alagiah John Andretti Frankie Banali Bob Barker Susan Bayh Pope Benedict XVI June Brown Jimmy Carter Billy Connolly Olivia de Havilland Bob Dole Chris Doleman Kirk Douglas Queen Elizabeth II Paul Gascoigne Jill Gascoine Greg Gilbert Ruth Bader Ginsburg Mikhail Gorbachev Jimmy Greaves David Gulpilil Rolf Harris Terry Jones Lee Kerslake Henry Kissinger Angela Lansbury John Lewis Vera Lynn Stirling Moss Olivia Newton-John Linda Nolan Genesis P-Orridge Prince Philip Leslie Phillips Little Richard Michael Robinson Yoo Sang-Chul Prunella Scales Tom Smith Pat Smullen Leon Spinks Nobby Stiles Alex Trebek Jean-Louis Trintignant Bill Turnbull Dick Van Dyke Gianluca Vialli Doddie Weir Betty White Barbara Windsor #51 Sam Lloyd
  5. 19 points
    I've usually done this by now, but first thoughts: Kirk Douglas - Boring top pick. May or may not die. Herman Wouk - Somehow still alive. Olivia de Havilland - Healthiest centenarian the list has ever seen? Prince Philip - On the downward slope, but slowly imo. Leah Bracknell - Terminal lung cancer is terminal lung cancer, I think she'll be gone this year. Vera Lynn - Quieter than she used to be, could be one of the obligatory "random old folk on the list for year who die". Robert Mugabe - Hospital for several months last year, time is nearly up. Jimmy Carter - Should beat Bush's record, but reaching the Expiry Date for former Presidents and cancer survivor. Doris Day - She got hit by a train over 80 years ago, and still breathes. Will take a lot to take down Doris Pierre Cardin - Just really old? Bob Dole - Looked like fucking shite at Bush's funeral, has to be a good bet for 2019. Henry Kissinger - 96 must be close to 200 for his weight. Didn't similar heavy built Al Molinaro go at 96? Hmm. Jerry Stiller - No idea about his health. Interesting newcomer. Javier Perez de Cuellar - Zzzzzzzz. Death hoax in late 2018, maybe he's doing a Bill Pertwee. Bob Barker - Lots of hooha about him on here end of last year. Think hes on mend though. Murray Walker - Old, still chats apparently, smashed cancer to bits in his 90s - surely a few laps left in his tank. Akihito - Frail for years, surprisingly still around. Betty White - Looked frailer last year but not to the point I'd get worried. Gordon Banks - DL Cmme loves old footballers, clearly. Has Banks been quieter than usual of late or did I tune out all the Engerlund stuff last summer? Hosni Mubarak - Not convinced he's close to the end. June Brown - Clearly going downhill on Eastenders. Not got too long left. Stirling Moss - Shocked he made it this far. OoO says wont see 90, I believe him. Bob Hawke - Says he wont see May, hospital in and out in 2018, and his wife was crying talking on TV about his health few days ago. Think his goose is cooked. Alan Greenspan - Really old, and random death hoax last year. Jacques Chirac - Increasingly frail, likely a top pick. Dick van Dyke - Super healthy? Trying to do a repeat Aznavour imo. Nobby Stiles - Great pick. Barbara Walters - Quiet and demented, sleeper smart pick. Honor Blackman - Very old. Guessing Cmme has Avengers fans. Harry Belafonte - Good pick, A lister looking old. Desmond Tutu - In and out of hospital, in and out of the list d'Estaing - Just old Ed Asner - This years surprise comeback. Vanessa Redgrave - COPD so time limited but looked OK in recent public. Jimmy Greaves - Looks like shit, cant have long left. Sidney Poitier - About time this frail permanent A lister got on the list. Valerie Harper - Quiet dying? Quiet putting feet up and chilling? Who knows. Cleo Laine - Dunno much about this pick. Loretta Lynn - In lot of ill health, likely a big pick in 2019. Gorbachev - Finally! Frail, increasingly poorly, might be here in nick of time. Tony Britton - Really old actor. Thought his window of opportunity had long passed! John McCririck - Looks fucked tbh Clive James - Looked fucked tbh. Didn't I say that in every year since 2011? Prunella Scales - Rallied enough to do another TV series. Gone mentally, OK physically, could go downhill rapidly within 12 months though. Think Timothy might got within 6 months of her tbh. Little Richard - frail A-lister with health issues, good pick. Larry King - Just old? Tina Turner - Seems to be on the mend from rotten health. Shane McGowan - Fuck yer Gazza and Mark E Smiths, this is the one that'll gut me if he goes. Getting married suddenly end of 2018 after 30-40 years cohabiting is a huge warning bell. Ginger Baker - How is he still alive? COPD, for yonks. Johnny Clegg - He got pancreatic cancer in 2015, got remission, it came back, so he got the full Whipple Surgery in 2017, only for his pancreatic cancer to come back when he no longer had most of his pancreas etc and spread to his lungs. You don't need me or A Google Dr to tell you he is fucked. So saying that, and adding 2 to the score for the inevitable long time oldies who just don't wake up one morning, I think a reasonable target for this list is 16. In fact, IF enough of the long termers go in 2019, the record might be under threat. There's enough ill, frail and generally ancient picks to go around.
  6. 18 points
    He said he would die before the election, and he did. Staggering example of a statesman keeping a promise in an election year.
  7. 18 points
    It's really kind of you to ask ! It's getting a little better those time, I'm really happy and really motivated to win this fight ! I'll tell you when I have some interesting news ! thanks a lot, really ! Good night from Paris !
  8. 18 points
    Stevie Wonder says she looked fit as a fiddle and he couldn't see a thing wrong with her.
  9. 18 points
    A Mugabe joke: A Robert Mugabe joke - Dead Pig Robert Mugabe and his chauffeur were rolling down the highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road. They killed it instantly. Mugabe tells his driver: "Go to da farm over dere and hexplain to da honer of da pig what happen." One hour later, Robert sees his driver coming back from the farm, his clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other. "What happen to you?" Robert asks. "Well, the farmer gave me a bottle of wine, his wife, the cigar and their 19 year old daughter made wild passionate love to me." "My God! What did you tell dem?" asked Mugabe. The driver answered: "Good evening, I am Robert Mugabe's chauffeur and I have just killed the pig."
  10. 17 points
    Come on, is this ‘Bring your parents to DeathList day’? Cunts.
  11. 17 points
    Who said we were all sickos? P-o-t-M has claimed the prize and requested a donation to a highly deserving charitable cause - Unicef appeal for the children of the Yemen. £12-00 added to this fund: https://www.unicef.org.uk/
  12. 17 points
    OK.... so theme team descriptions are in, the celebs are all in alphabetical order, the two dead guys I've spotted so far have been removed, there's no longer two listings for Sikrit, Queen Mother of Thailand, front page is up to date... I'm gonna declare the 2019 DDP officially open. I put about £150 of my own money into getting the site transferred to a new host, sorting out a logo, buying a Wordpress design and hiring an IT guy from Pakistan to sort out the VBscript issues that were stopping the site for the past week. I was happy to give back to the DDP community, but if any of you want to buy me a virtual coffee you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/spadecooley
  13. 16 points
    Is officially open for business. Emails appear to be very slow sending out, if you haven't received one by, idk, tomorrow, let me know.
  14. 16 points
    DL Mini-Con #251 CarolAnn & Sir Creep
  15. 16 points
    All his life waiting for the second coming but on deathlist he is the second going
  16. 16 points
    Yeh I'm surprised you have heard of him, as he does not play ice hockey.
  17. 15 points
    Ok, for newcomers and nostalgists, I present The Deathlist Cup... the story so far. Deathlist Cup 2017 Round 1 1. Young Willz 0-4 Captain Chorizo 2. Maryportfuncity 2-8 Morbid Kid Maryportfuncity wins by DQ. 3. Grim Up North 8-4 Joey Russ 4. Deathray 2-8 Heef 5. Chopped Liver 2-9 Garn 6. Shaun of the Dead 2-4 RadGuy 7. Charon 2-9 The Dead Cow 8. Switch 4-2 Rockhopperpenguin 9. Pedro67 7-2 Jiroemon Kimura 10. msc 4-7 gcreptile This Round was surprisingly controversial. Toast had avoided the Cup, predicting a whole host of nasty FFBI picks and proved to be 100% accurate with coma victims and other non-entities gaining points (Norma Cook – who?), and creating the FFBI Ban now in place. Chopped Liver predicted success, got gubbed, and flounced off the forum. The Kid got banned off the forum for a month at an inappropriate time (3 days before Round 2) and was unable to get a team in in time, leaving Maryport to sneak into Round 2. Elsewhere Joey and Grim trade insults for a month before that game was decided on the death of Sir Gerald Kaufman late on, whilst Willz’s sterling defence against the 2016 DDP runnersup was ended by the death of actress Sara Coward. There was a bit of a to do when The Dead Cow’s pick, da Silva, was brain dead, but she was dead dead soon enough. Forum newcomer Heef showed promise. The first hit in Cup history was confirmed at 1.40am on the 1st February 2017 – Bernie Portenski – and provided point for Reptile and Heef. Yer host did level later that day with the demise of Desmond Carrington, but was soon outgunned by one of the forums better researchers and his pick of Trinidadian historian Angelo Bissessarsingh. Yes, that explains that running reference… Oh, and DDT had mutant sheep to deal with, thus instantly being a far more interesting character than some of the actual hits… Round 2 1. RadGuy 1-0 Bibliogryphon 2. The Dead Cow 8-9 Death Impends 3. Heef 4-3 Garn 4. Maryportfuncity 0-3 Spade Cooley 5. Captain Chorizo 1-1 Grim Up North, Grim Up North won on penalties 6. Switch 0-2 DDT 7. Deadsox 0-0 Pedro67, Deadsox won on penalties 8. Roverandout 2-8 gcreptile Biblio was later to say losing to a FFBI pick was like Rad diving for a penalty! Lisa Magill, for the record. DDT and Spade were, perhaps unfairly, expected to cruise through, but both did just enough and no more, both advancing through the death of Tania Dalton. Deadsox and Pedro deadlocked, with Deadsox advancing on penalties, with no sign of what was to come. Rover bounced into Round 2 on a BYE and swiftly bounced back out again by Reptile (who went ahead less than 30 minutes into the month!). Also, Heef contained to show promise by easing out well respected DDP regular Garn (that’s top 20 regular Poochie…), another match Dalton proved crucial in deciding. The headlines came from a hard fought clash between forum assassin Death Impends, and young up and comer Dead Cow. “Hoping to avoid a massacre” said the Cow pre-game, and he did, only to lose in heartbreaking circumstances. Both scored early with Tania Dalton (2-2), journalist May Johnson (4-4) and Cardinal Vlk (6-6). Then, on the 26th March, comic book artist Oliver Nome died, and Cow took the lead 8-6. He missed the unique point as Reptile (miles ahead and looking forward to a Quarterfinal with the winner of this tie) also had him.That proved crucial as football coach Ken Sparks died on the 29th and that unique point was the difference between the two, with DI winning 9-8. Quarterfinals 1. DDT 3-1 RadGuy 2. gcreptile 2-16 Death Impends 3. Spade Cooley 2-4 Deadsox 4. Grim Up North 6-6 Heef, Heef advances on "away goals". Heef took out another victim, Grim, in a high scoring game, with horse racing Tony Kaye providing the crucial assist. Rad momentarily had the shock on with a FFBI pick, before DDT won with Bishop Perham. DDT v Spade came up as a provisional Semifinal, but deadsox had other ideas. Spade took the lead with SF academic Michael Levy, before deadsox levelled with Emma Morano, before winning with Sasha Lakovic. Elsewhere, the only shock in DI v Reptile was how one sided it was, with DI gaining hits off a spree killer, academic Levy, John Vennari, Tom Modrak, Barry Marshall-Everitt, Lucky Ackhand and a priest. Semifinals 1. DDT 0-2 Deadsox 2. Death Impends 11-8 Heef Deadsox followed up his Spade shocker, by beating deadpoolings own GOAT, via a FFBI pick. Meanwhile, it was the end of the road for Heef in another exciting tie. Bishop Niederauer gave DI a 3-0 lead, before Vicki Letele made it 3-3. (Originally 3-2, but Heef made a compelling case with evidence for her not being a FFB case.) Then Earl Sinks died to make it 6-3 DI, before Dina Merrill made it 6-6 again. All this time we were awaiting a LOTL obit, but Earl Hagman’s death made it crucially 9-6 DI, with Kiwi Heef beaten by a New Zealand pick! Noriega provided points for both teams late in the month. Final 1. Deadsox 5-2 Death Impends Deadsox had been tough opposition, and this looked set to come down to 1 pick. And it did, only it was Julia Perez, whom Deadsox had. And so, Deadsox won the 1st DL Cup, beating Spade, DDT and DI in consecutive rounds to do so. 2018 Deathlist Cup Round One 1. Charon vs Maryportfuncity 6-0 2. Pedro vs The Dead Cow 3-13 3. Young Willz vs The Engineer 0-0 *Willz won 3-2 on pens 4. Grim Up North vs Yorkshire Banker 6-3 5. Msc vs Wormfarmer 3-0 6. Spade Cooley vs Roverandout 3-9 7. Joey Russ vs Garn 7-0 8. Bibliogryphon vs Phantom of the Midway (AKA Rad Guy) 0-6 9. Sean vs Fixed Business 9-0 10. Gcreptile vs John Key 7-3 11. Deathray vs Sir Creep 0-3 12. Captain Chorizo vs Book 3-3 The first DL Cup hit of 2018 was rapper Mowzey Radio with Joey scoring early and easing comfortably past Garn. Johnnie Lindsay was enough for Reptile. Barys Kits death put Yorkshire Banker and Pedro into somewhat shock leads, before Grim and Cow pulled back. Liam Miller produced leads for charon and Rad. Author Bill Crider’s death was the diference between Wormfarmer and yours truly, and also produced the age difference decider for Chorizo. Spade took the lead with Prince Henrik, only for Morgan Tsvangirai to nod in the instant equaliser, and Catherine Nevin gave Rover the lead, before Billy Graham sealed the deal on the biggest Cup shock to date. That also took Sir Creep into the 2nd Round. Willz won a best of 5 coin toss. Round 2 Death Impends vs Heef 9-10 Gcreptile vs Sir Creep 6-14 Joey Russ vs Grim Up North 6-6 Phantom of the Midway vs The Dead Cow 10-13 Sean vs Charon 0-0 Roverandout vs DDT 0-6 Captain Chorizo vs Young Willz 0-4 msc vs Deadsox 6-7 Marieke Vervoort was on every single fucking team. And lived. Vanessa Lafaye died too early, and that, and dropping Bernie De Koven provided killer blows for myself. I was facing the holder, however, who scored with Carlo Ripa di Meana. Rover’s chances of a second upset came to nowt via author Emma Hannigan, whereas Willz told everyone he stood no chance against Chorizo, only for Ken Dodd to have his say. Joey and Grim proved difficult to separate again. Sir Creep d. Reptile. Sir Creep went 4-0 up early on. Both had Emma Hannigan (7-3). Sir Creep then sealed the deal with his own personal hero Tom Benson. DI and Heef both had Goodwin (3-3), and Emma Hannigan (6-6). A man called Ed wound up being recinded from DI’s tally and Warren Grant died, so we had a disallowed goal and then Heef went 10-6 up. Rad and Cow both had Goodwin (3-3), and Emma Hannigan (6-6), before football coach Shaun Bailey produced the killer blow for Dead Cow. Well, until Tony Kleese levelled it (10-10), before Bishop Lafoya DID seal it for the Cow. Controversy everywhere. Multiple picks died in February, QOs were questioned, and the host quit… only to do a Roz Doyle and return and pretend nothing had happened. “Tripping off his tits” said one Highlander, probably close to the mark… Quarterfinal 1. The Dead Cow vs Sean 9-0 2. Heef vs DDT 6-9 3. Deadsox (reigning champ) vs YWillz 9-3 4. Sir Creep vs Joey Russ 9-3 Cow took an early lead via Ray Wilkins and never looked back. Willz run ended against the holders, deadsox advancing on Ernie Thacker and, both having Mitzi Shore. Meanwhile Sir Creep continued to impress, easing past Joey. Joey took the lead with Wilkins, before Sir Creep levelled with Ernie Thacker, and took the lead with Bishop Foley. Heef put up a good challenge against DDT, coming up short. Both had Wilkins and Fergie McCormack, but DDT had Foley and Heef didn’t. Nabi Tajima sealed the deal against Willz and Joey. Semis Dead Cow v Sir Creep 4-7 DDT v Deadsox 7-0 Larry Hunter’s early death put Cow into a 4-0 lead. Once again Sir Creep suffered to a late breaking health issue he missed on one of his 40 hour rig jobs. David Goodall brought it back to 4-3, before the great Ted Dabney died late on, sending Sir Creep into the final at his first attempt. Elsewhere, Morgan Job and David Goodall meant that deadsox’s reign was ended by the great deadpooler DDT. 3rd place Dead Cow v Deadsox 7-3 Jon Hiseman proved crucial. Both sides had Matt Cappotelli. Final DDT v Sir Creep 11-3 It was the old guard vs the new. Ignore for narrative purposes that Sir Creep is actually older than DDT. Ralph Santolla provided DDT with the 4-0 lead, and Fu Da Ren made it the quick 8-0. “You live by assisted suicide you die by assisted suicide” said the wise Sir. Both teams had Cappotelli, and that was that. Sir Creep did well, but found the old master too tough in the final. DDT won the 2018 Cup! 2019 Deathlist Cup With 47 teams in, the largest Cup to date. Round 1 1. JoeMoneyPenny 3-3 Pedro (Joe wins on penalties, Pedro advances on DQ) 2. Nantonian 2013 0-3 Maryportfuncity 3. Gooseberry Crumble 0-3 John Key 4. Spade Cooley 16-0 Squonk 5. Markb4 0-10 Dr T 6. Banana 12-3 Great Uncle Bulgaria 7. Yorkshire Banker 9-9 Skinny Kiltrunner (Banker won on penalties) 8. Alt Obits Guy 13-0 Time 9. Clorox 16-3 Fixed Business 10. Mad Hatter 9-0 Exu 11. Master Tech 0-0 Bibliogryphon (Biblio won on penalties) 12. The Unknown Man 0-3 Boudicca 13. Torva Messor 10-3 Old Crem 14. The Quim Reaper 6-3 Buffalo Phil 15. Wormfarmer 6-7 Old Lady The round started in controversy as Dr T’s team got lost and he was DQ’d. A stewards enquiry, and the fair play of his opponent, got the 2018 DDP winner back into the tournament, and he swiftly thumped poor old Mark. Andew McGahan was the first Cup hit of 2019, but nearly everyone had him. This did prove to be the game winners for Maryport and John Key right off the bat, however. Early joker hits for Torva and Dr T meant they were never looking back. Torva’s unique on John Cocks (sN-word) just extended (guffaw) her lead. “Awesome tactical masterclass” was how forum vet MPFC called Torva’s victory. Banana took the lead with Democratic Nebraskan Party chair Anne Boyle, and with each successive pick new host Joey Russ’s face got paler and paler at a 2nd round fight. Spade Cooley got hits off Boyle, Frank Robinson, Paul Cain and Walter Jones., and his 16-0 victory not only produced the term “squonking” for Deadpool massacres, but chased the new guy off the forum! Skinny Kiltrunner was heavily fancied but shared McGahan and jokers on Walter Jones, so it went to penalties and the Yorkshire Banker won. Unknown Man v Boudicca was a tense battle of Cup newbies settled on Walter Jones’s death. Clorox already looked a newcomer to beat and a unique on Rocky Lockridge gave him an unassailable lead on Fixed Business. Time said he’d join in as long as he didn’t have to put in teams every month, and Allen made quick promise on that, Emily Levine being a key decider for his promising team. Another Cup newcomer, TQR broke a tight deadlock with Buffalo Phil on the sad death of lefty Welsh legend Paul Flynn. Wormfarmer fancied his chances with McGahan and Walter Jones, 6-0 lead with half the month gone. Nobody had ever recovered from a 6 point deficit. The Old Lady got a unique hit with old commie Li Rui. 6-4. Then Peter Tork went and died, and my mum was sad. But Wormfarmer was even sadder, as Old Lady completed the stunning comeback to win a spot in Round 2! Round 2 1. RadGuy 9-0 Yorkshire Banker 2. Chorizo 12-9 Grim up North 3. Clorox 9-6 Alt Obits Guy 4. Maryportfuncity 3-6 The Quim Reaper 5. DDT 15-15 Death Impends 6. The Dead Cow 3-3 Deadsox 7. Charon 3-0 Engineer 8. Deathray 3-6 Mad Hatter 9. Gcreptile 19-12 msc 10. Joey Russ 15-22 Banana 11. Sir Creep 7-15 Spade Cooley 12. Torva Messor 15-3 Dr T 13. Bibliogryphon 0-6 Book 14. John Key 4-3 Heef 15. Young willz 0-3 Pedro 16. The Old Lady 0-0 Boudicca (Boudicca won on penalties) Round 2 saw many top contenders facing off and a lot of bruised egos and big scorelines. It also saw The Old Lady and Boudicca take a wee nap in the corner for the entire month, before Boudicca won the coin toss late in the month. TQR announced he was definitely going to lose his tie, and MPFC did take the leader with Eusebio Pedroza, but hits with Berne Torme and Billy Clayton suggested otherwise. The boxer also settled The Mad Hatter’s win. Manohar Paririkar was also the killer blow for Engineer. John Key went 3-0 down on the same day to much fancied former Semifinalists Heef, but a unique hit with Bishop Quinn saw the biggest shock of the round . There was to be no repeat of the Young Willz heroics as Pedro won on Edmund Capon’s demise. Spade opened up an early 8-0 lead on Sir Creep with aide of Joe Scarborough’s charity CEO mum. Torva went to town on Dr T with Manohar Parrikar the pick of a thumping, and msc thought he was doing well until Reptile’s unique hit with local singer Caroline Isachsen. And when Barbara Hammer got points, I was, to quote Biblio, MSC Hammer-ed. Or as I put it after my second Cup thumping in 2 years to my now DDP co-host, he’s fine deadpooler and deserves this success…damn him. All eyes were on Joey v Banana. They shared Pedroza points, and Banana took a narrow lead (via joker points) on equally shared Rob Restuccia, but it was Luke Perry’s death which opened up a chasm in the tie. Joey did well to come back to a highly respectable points tally, but the 7 points gap turned out crucial. DDT and DI went to war in the Admin battle and Barbara Hammer provided joker points for DDT to make it level. It came down to a late lead for DDT with Parrikar, but DI’s smart pick of singer Billy Clayton meant he equalised and had the lowest age marginal, so advanced by the slimmest possible margin. Clorox did an Old Lady falling 0-6 behind to Allen (Parrikar and Hammer), before Capon and Torme equalised, and then Clayton sealed the comeback. Allen had to make do with another Alt Obits victory… Round 3 1. The Mad Hatter 0-0 Boudicca (Boudicca won on penalties) 2. Rad 12-13 Banana 3. John Key 0-21 Death Impends 4. The Quim Reaper 3-0 Book 5. Gcreptile 9-0 Pedro 6. Chorizo 3-3 Torva Messor (Chorizo won on penalties) 7. Bibliogryphon 0-21 Spade Cooley 8. Deadsox 0-16 Clorox Thanks to unfortunate events, Bibliogryphon won a lucky loser spot. Luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing. After another loss, he won the toss for lucky loser for Round 4 too, but that wasn’t needed. Although, unlucky loser perhaps, as he had to face Spade Cooley who was in no charitable frame of mind. Rabbi Yisroel had Spade 8-0 up in hours of the month starting, John Key had pulled off a huge upset, but DI was in no mood for cup shocks, going 11-0 up early with Vonda McIntyre and Mahendran. By April 2nd we already seemed to have a quarterfinal set. Clorox had the lead early from Mahendran’s death, but the manner of victory over the 2017 Cup winner was astounding, with Ly Tung another hit, followed by Paul Severs unique. The director also gave an early lead to Banana in a highly closely fought tie with Rad Guy. Both had Bill Heine. Rad had Ly Tong to go 9-6 up. Banana had Keith Cass, a unique hit, and that was the crucial difference. Bill Heine also settled the Reptile/Pedro tie via way of being Reptiles joker. “I am totally losing this tie, arse burgers!” said TQR, before beating Book with a Bill Heine pick. Meanwhile Boudicca and The Mad Hatter had a wee sleep in the corner, with Boudicca winning on the coin toss. This meant she beat Willz’s record for longest cleansheet in cup history, 90 days by end of April. Quarterfinals 1. The Quim Reaper 9-12 Boudicca 2. Spade Cooley 17-13 Death Impends 3. Reptile 6-21 Banana 4. Clorox 19-9 Chorizo Death Impends vs Spade Cooley, the most anticipated battle since Mayweather v Pacquiao, said TQR! He also said “I am totally going to lose this tie, arse burgers!” and this time he was right, as Boudicca woke up after a nice 2 month nap. Both had musician John Starling, ending Bou’s new cleansheet record at 92 days. But it was Subir Nandi who ended TQR’s long run, and kept unfancied (in the Cup, Sir Creep!) Bou in it to win it another day. Clorox scored early with Bill Fleischman and Rachel Held Evans. Anyhow, DI v Spade. Spade went up early with GRT racing CEO Joe Garrison 8-0. Points for Spade on Subir Nandi, before shared points on Jean Vanier and Cecila Huerta. Sprent Dabwido produced a minor comeback, but this one was over. Although Milton Born with a Tooth narrowed the gap. Reptile’s usual thing of folk raising their game to play him saw him out via Held Evans, Nandi and joker Vanier. Semifinals 1. Spade Cooley 13-12 Banana 2. Boudicca 17-9 Clorox Everyone scored hours in with Yudhonoyo, with Banana and Boudicca taking joker points to lead 6-3 each. Boudicca then took a surprising 7 point lead with Brian Doherty of Big Wreck. Spade then took the lead on Banana with David Powlison to go 7-6 up. Everyone got 3 points for Bushwhacker Bill. Boudicca’s unique hit with footballer Steve Essex finished off a stunning victory. Cypriot President Demetris Christofias was points for everyone except Bou, so Powlison turned out crucial for Spade, for whom Banana had given the biggest test to date. Final 1. Spade Cooley 19-11 Boudicca Once more the final produced an unfancied team against a forum heavyweight, but this time there was no Deadsox style shock on the cards. A unique Jared Lorenzo put Spade 4-0 up, before Sutopo Nugroho made it 8-0, then Sam Bass made it 12-0. Ershad made it 4-12, and Inspector Montalbano creator Andrea Camilleri made it 8-12, but Cardinal Ortega made it 8-16 and despite Kevin Roster producing three points a piece, the tie was dead. Hall of Fame 2017 - Deadsox 2018 - DDT 2019 - Spade Cooley The "Heef Award" Winner for Best Newcomer 2017 - Heef 2018 - Sir Creep 2019 - Boudicca The "Sqounk Award for Worst Squonking" 2017 - Reptile (14) 2018 - Pedro (10) 2019 - John Key/Bibliogryphon (21) - yes Squonk never even won his own award... Highest Scoring Match Joey Russ v Banana 2019, 37 points shared Top Scorers (to date) 1. Spade 109 2. DI 96 3. Banana 80 4. Clorox 69 5. Dead Cow 66 6. Reptile 64 7. DDT 53 8. Heef 45 9. Rad 43 10. Sir Creep 43 11. Boudicca 43 12. Grim 36 So in 2020… Cup upsets, but from who? Joey v Grim part 3? msc v Reptile part 3? (Please god no!) Do DDT and Spade finally meet? Who will be the Boudicca of 2019? Or indeed the Squonk? This and more in the coming months!
  18. 15 points
    INVERSE DEAD POOL 2019 As always, with the new year comes another opportunity for you all to reckon which DDP darlings have another 365 days left in their tanks. Though the 2018 Inverse Dead Pool had less deaths among its selectables than 2017 (15 compared to 20), there were still three massive scoreboard-scrambling landmines among them in Stephen Hawking, Aretha Franklin, and Stan Lee. By the year's end, machotrouts emerged the least scathed with 17 points. Rules From the list of the 50 most popular DDP picks of 2019, pick a team of 25 names who you think will survive the year. Rank your list in order of least likely to die to least least likely to die. Post your team in this thread. If someone dies and they are listed on your team, then you will receive points according to their position. If your #1 pick dies you'll receive 25 points, whilst if your #25 pick dies you'll receive 1 point. If someone dies and they are not on your list, then you receive no points. In case one of the names available for entry dies before the submission deadline, you are allowed to have one sub. The sub can be anyone from the top 50 or the 51st most popular name, who will be revealed alongside the top 50. The 51st name can not be part of the original 25 if no one dies. In the case of one of your original team dying pre-deadline, the sub goes into 25th place by default, but if the sub was previously the 51st, you are allowed to change the position of the new pick. If the above scenario happens, you are also allowed to name a new sub and I will reveal the 52nd most popular name. Whoever has the lowest score at the end of the year is the winner. NEW: If two or more teams are tied at the end of the year, the tie will first be decided by who has less hits. If they have an equal amount of hits, then whoever among the teams died latest in the year, and thus came closest to being a correct prediction, will decide the winner. If said name was on multiple teams in the tie, whoever had said name lowest will win. If multiple teams had said name in the same position, the second most recently-deceased name will be referred to, and so on, until a winner is found. If, by some alignment of the stars, the tie is of either no hits or of all of the exact same hits in the exact same positions, all teams in the tie share victory. Credit to Toast for inadvertently coming up with a peach of a topic description, and of course, credit to Spade for creating this wonderful game. Credit to Dead Cow for his job as previous host, laying the framework for the Inverse Dead Pool's OP, and the idea for a "dies during entry period" rule. Credit to machotrouts for the suggestion of the latest hits factoring into tiebreakers. Previous Winners 2018 - machotrouts 2017 - drol 2016 - Pedro67 2015 - Death Impends 2014 - Bibliogryphon 2013 - N/A 2012 - Esturian Float 2011 - Garn2 Top 50 George Alagiah John Andretti Bob Barker Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI Kathleen Blanco Leah Bracknell June Brown Jimmy Carter Beth Chapman Johnny Clegg Billy Connolly Tim Conway Doris Day Olivia de Havilland Bob Dole Kirk Douglas Queen Elizabeth II Andrew Fairlie Pete Frates Paul Gascoigne Jill Gascoine Greg Gilbert Ruth Bader Ginsburg Jimmy Greaves Valerie Harper Bob Hawke Clive James Terry Jones Lee Kerslake Henry Kissinger Vera Lynn John McCririck Andrew McGahan Stirling Moss Robert Mugabe Olivia Newton-John Linda Nolan Prince Philip Leslie Phillips Fernando Ricksen Michael Robinson Prunella Scales Nobby Stiles Jean-Louis Trintignant Donald Trump Bill Turnbull Dick Van Dyke Marieke Vervoort Betty White Herman Wouk #51 Angela Lansbury
  19. 15 points
    I am not the Duke of Edinburgh. Please desist from spreading unfounded rumours.
  20. 15 points
    Probably the guy who has to merge this thread into Suicidal Celebs....
  21. 15 points
    Jimmy Carter has now become the oldest ever living former U.S. President, surpassing George H.W. Bush. https://www.ajc.com/news/jimmy-carter-gets-new-title-oldest-living-former-president/68TFzP9SMDjrVuqcUt3PkK/
  22. 15 points
  23. 15 points
    Kane Tanaka 02 Jan 1903 Lives in Fukuoka, Japan Oldest living person, 20th oldest ever One of the most remarkable Oldest Person titleholders for some time. She can walk at the pace of a young person, tell jokes, sing, participate in press conferences, solve maths questions, play Othello, fold clothes and do the Japanese favourite - hand dancing. She's going to be around for a while. Maria-Giuseppa Robucci-Nargiso (Nonna Peppa for short) 20 Mar 1903 Lives in Apulia, Italy Oldest living European, 2nd oldest living person, 22nd oldest ever The title of Oldest in Europe is traditionally a QO shoo-in, but sadly this didn't happen for her predecessor Giuseppina Projetto. She's a very happy person who still makes public appearances, but there seems to have been a slight decline in her health. Shimoe Akiyama 19 May 1903 Lives in Nagoya, Japan 3rd oldest living, 28th oldest ever No photo, no nothing. This may change if she one day becomes the oldest person in Japan, but Tanaka is making that more unlikely with every passing day. Magdalena Oliver Gabarró 31 Oct 1903 Lives in Barcelona, Spain Oldest Spaniard, would-be 42nd oldest ever Unverified. It has been hinted on the 110 Club that her potential verification is imminent. She looked well the last time she was pictured, but that was 2 years ago. Annalise or Annelise 03 Dec 1903 Lives in Nanuet, USA Challenger to title of oldest American The fact that we don't even know the spelling of this woman's first name should tell you all you need to know. However, she might be the oldest American. Lucile Randon (Soeur Andre) 11 Feb 1904 Lives in Toulon, France Oldest Frenchie, 4th oldest living, 52nd oldest ever, oldest nun The real oldest nun, as pointed out after Sister Cecylia died. Confusingly, the oldest nun ever was Sister Cecilia (1902-2017). Soeur Andre may take this title in June. Shin Matsushita 30 Mar 1904 Lives in Sendai, Japan 5th oldest living, 62nd oldest ever, oldest person to outlive a pet Yes, this dog is dead. To be honest, Shin has appeared downbeat since this happened, and what's the point in going on if you're 114 and you just lost your dog? Gabrielle Valentine des Robert 04 Jun 1904 Lives in Nantes, France 6th oldest living, 86th oldest ever She is living proof that fat people aren't destined to die young. Isn't in the best of shape, mind you. Lessie Brown 22 Sep 1904 Lives in Cleveland, USA 7th oldest living, Believed to be oldest American Though her family adore her, I struggle to believe you can enjoy life in such poor condition. Jeanne Bot 14 Jan 1905 Lives in Perpignan, France 8th oldest living When I first heard about this woman a few months ago, I thought she was an android designed to shut down at the age of 122. It appears not. She is very healthy and can still walk around her own home. Shigeyo Nakachi 01 Feb 1905 Lives in Saga, Japan 9th oldest living Winner of "sunniest old person in the world". Never seen without a big smile on her face. She is almost profoundly deaf and communicates by reading off a tablet and shouting her response. Haruno Yamashita 19 Feb 1905 Lives in Kurume, Japan 10th oldest living A mystery. Ellen "Dolly" Gibb 26 Apr 1905 Lives in North Bay, Canada Oldest Canadian Some photos of her are quite unflattering, but she is holding up well. Alelia Murphy 06 Jul 1905 Lives in Harlem, USA 2nd oldest American Has been mentioned before as she defied death by coming back from the dreaded Limbo. She may or may not be next in line to the Oldest American throne. That Party City tiara does not reflect this title. Masazō Nonaka 25 Jul 1905 Lives in Ashoro, Japan Oldest man, 14th oldest man ever Old boy is enjoying his 10+ month reign as Oldest Man but is noticeably frail. Iris Westman 28 Aug 1905 Lives in Grand Forks, USA Oldest highly educated person She graduated from the University of North Dakota in 1928 and went on to teach. Maybe if she gets old enough then some tabloids will pick up on this. Gustav Gerneth 15 Oct 1905? Lives in Havelberg, Germany Would-be 2nd oldest man, 16th oldest man ever, oldest German person ever A recent picture (which won't upload) doesn't say good things about his physical health. He is looking forward to his 114th birthday in October 2019, but doubts have been cast on his claimed age. Beware. Kura Bingo 20 Oct 1905 Lives in Soni, Japan Not really famous, but what a moniker! House, anyone? Richard Overton 11 May 1906 Lives in Austin, USA 2nd oldest man, 23rd oldest man ever, oldest American man, oldest Allied veteran Has now survived pneumonia an incredible 5 times! He has been noticeably quiet in an ominous way for a few months. I love the man, but it might all be Over soon... Tekla Juniewicz 10 Jun 1906 Lives in Gliwice, Poland Oldest Pole ever The first Polish person to ever live to 112. Here she is with Waclaw, a GRG/110 Club admin. Mazie Ford 28 Jun 1906 Lives in Hollywood (that's Florida), USA Oldest volunteer She dresses herself, does her wig and makeup, knits babies' hats and takes them to her local hospital almost every day! She's amazing for her age! Grace Catherine Jones 16 Sep 1906 Lives in Broadway (that's Worcestershire), UK Oldest Brit, 3rd oldest Grace Jones ever No, wrong one... Not that one, she died in 2006... Close but not her either, she's dead anol... That's our wummin! She is lovely and is able to give long interviews. 3Sri Shivakumara Swami(ji/galu) 01 Apr 1907? Lives in Tumkur, India Where's a bullshit button when you need one? His age is NOT accurate. Yet his ability to bounce back from multiple hospitalisations is superb. After a fifth hospitalisation for the same ailment, he's tied with Richard Overton. Qin Hanzhang 19 Feb 1908? Lives in Beijing, China Oldest notable person Although the chances of a Chinese person being verified are low, we can pretty much confirm that he's as old as he claims. He is known for developing methods for producing wine. I would like to think that he is partly responsible for grape stomping, which inspired my 2nd favourite news blooper. Alf Smith and Bob Weighton 29 Mar 1908 Live in St Madoes and Alton, UK Joint oldest British men Alf is the first supercentenarian Scotsman It's no secret that Alf isn't doing as well as Bob (I believe he had a stroke a few years ago) but I wish both of them well. Cecilia Seghizzi 05 Sep 1908 Lives in Gorizia, Italy Oldest notable woman Known for being an artist and composer. The Guardian would like her. Anyway, she is doing great. Dr. Robert Wiener 27 Oct 1908 Lives in Montreal, Canada Oldest Canadian man, one half of oldest brothers ever, oldest doctor Pathologist whose older brother David fell just shy of 110. He still rides his exercise bike daily and works very closely with his doctor to improve his health. He's quite charming and he's not ready to slow down yet. Agnes Kluckhenn 01 Apr 1909 Lives in unknown location in Australia Oldest Aussie Does this woman even exist? I'm not convinced. At just 109 she's a youngster compared to others, but you know what they say about Australians and Mail obits.
  24. 15 points
    Our little DL-Convention No.3: We couldn't decide where to meet, so we flipped a coin. Novosibirsk lost, New York won. How lucky we are. All the best from Book and gcreptile (left and right)
  25. 15 points
    Many of you curmudgeons may have noticed that it's that time of year when the godawful British media report A-level results day with a deliberate focus on the high-achievers in an attempt to make the average student feel like dirt. Well, whilst I'm not one of those high-achievers, I'm pleased to say that I did get into my university of choice, that is the University of Stirling, and will be studying Philosophy there over the course of the next four years. In the meantime, I can celebrate the opportunity of leaving my dull and uninspired life behind and making some friends and enjoying myself for a change.
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