honez

One for the geeks who walk amongst us. Which Star Trek character are you? Shoot to kill!, I'm James T. Kirk.

Test your senses here.

Obviously, I've encountered more than my fair share of these spiders in my time.

Well you should like one of his birth name then "William Bruce Rose, Jr" = Sir, I blew cruel major. And Guns 'n' Roses = Snog Nurses

At least Rooney got to stomp on his testicles. That Italian Git that took a last-second dive should have had his stomped on, twisted off and shoved up his Azzurri.

Jenny was so looking forward to her first threesome.

Italian penalty sees off Australia as the last kick of the match. Absolutely gutted. Sick as a Parrot, etc.

Twit soup: Freshly picked dune grass, one large vegetable, and two turn-ups.

This is one of the pics I got back from a Google image search for "Post Whore." Try it yourself... Prince Charles' comment on the lad; "Prince William is the 'laziest person on earth'." I should do some research to confirm whether he actually said it or not, but I can't be arsed. Move over Prince Bill, I am the laziest.

I'm sure Josco would rather think of Lady J in William Styron's terms; "A great book should leave you with many experiences, and slightly exhausted."

gig n 1: long and light rowing boat; especially for racing 2: an implement with a shaft and barbed point used for catching fish 3: a cluster of hooks (without barbs) that is drawn through a school of fish to hook their bodies; used when fish are not biting 4: tender that is a light ship's boat; often for personal use of captain 5: small two-wheeled horse-drawn carriage; with two seats and no hood

Looks like good ol' Guus did indeed pull a rabbit out of the hat. Good on him. Although watching the matches kick off at 11pm, 2am and 5am respectively is going to take its toll on me by the end of the comp. You Euro-types don't know how good you've got it.

A turtle was walking down a dark alley, when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective later asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle replied, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."

"After being held against his will for weeks, Snot suddenly makes a break for it."

Public support for the "Bring back the mini-skirt campaign" wanes.

Pick your World Cup winner.

"Anyone else need a bottle opened?"

Pleased to meet you, Olive-oil Sham. Or should we refer to you as "I am elvish loo?"

In Eternum Plus = Up me tunnel, Sir! In Eternum Plus = Leper minus nut. In Eternum Plus = Nine true lumps.

Slave to the Grave = Rage that evolves Slave to the Grave = Velvet ghost area. Slave to the Grave = Got the arse valve.

Millwall Thirty Two = O! My twat will thrill. Millwall Three Two = Allow me wet thrill.

Find out what religion you are with the Belief-O-Matic The one true faith, Pastafarianism, wasn't one of the available options, so I came out Secular Humanist. Oh God, now I'm sure to burn in Hell.

Fish stocks must be bad if trawlers are targeting lungfish now. Make mine a sushi lung please! mmm-hmmm.

I found my first grey pubic hair the other day . . . It was in a kebab.

Wow. What a coincidence that she worked at the same hotel!