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Star Crossed

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Posts posted by Star Crossed

  2. Posted

    You have now become my "number one" God.

    You have now become my "number one" post-whore.

     

    I say "number one"; really you're more of a "number two"; a loose, spluttery, Mixed Vegetable Balti sort of one at that. If, however, everyone took Anubis' advice and simply put all the vaginal-envious and over-compensatory, talentless, one-line put-down shills like you who troll the DL from time to time on Ignore we'd all end up like me; pissed-off and disillusioned, with a dozen people on Ignore. :referee:

    Admittedly, Ignoring the bulk of the regular posters has improved the visible quality of the forum of late but, surely, we'd rather see some decent arguments than more of this weak-hearted primary school codswallop.

     

    Sure... someone hawking herbal SPAM, swearing a bit or advertising http://www.tdonkleycockrockerXXXromaniangymnasts.com gets short shrift from the Mods, probably an immediate ban and the post sent to trash before impotent members like me can take advantage of the crazy, crazy LOW prices and special guaranteed-to-give-you-a-rise offer read them, whilst "Lady Clarissa" here meanders her crimson fingernails tantalisingly over our collective nutsack with apparent impunity.

     

    If any unemployed 36-year-old male virgin like Lady Christopher... sorry, Clarissa, can rock up and pretty much charm the trouser-snake of the membership at large, we should all be ashamed, members... very, very ashamed. As Rolf Harris, someone who I'm sure "Lady Clarissa" is familar with, once copied... "Ooh, and it makes me wonder..." I'd rather see more bordering-on-kiddy-fiddling porn scripts about teenage twins from BHB and Pizzaguy than this wannabe's lame bullsh*t.

     

    SC We all know LCR's just some aussie sh*t-stirrer, probably an existing member yanking our chains in time-honoured fashion, but I do so love rising to the bait, doing what you all wanted and expected, having a little rant again; saying what you're feeling... again. remember the Ers? my pleasure... accept no substitute. tommy sheridan is innocent.

  4. Posted

    This has got to be the funniest thread I've read so far.....the tears are running down my face.....so, how funny is it to try and slash your wrists with a bread knife and, this not being very successful, chucking yourself off a balcony after consuming a bottle of port.....and then not ending up dead, but being banged up in hospital for three months, unable to walk?? Next time I will take an overdose....much more effective...I think...

    D-

     

    Must try harder.

     

    Again, you wish......

    Ah yes, the "you wish" defence; a classic variant of the more widely-used "no comment". I believe Saddam Hussein's lawyers had originally instructed him to use the "you wish" tactic when confronted with his charges, but he opted instead for the "refusal to recognise the authority of the court" route. He still has the option, however, of telling the judge that he stinks and claiming to be "minty-skiller" than him "by a factor of infinity plus one".

  5. Posted

    People who say "haitch" and people who don't hold a knife & fork properly.

     

    Brilliant, Lady Die, I totally concur, wholeheartedly....and people who water their b****y gardens when our country is on water restrictions!

    Ditto!

     

    And parents who go to the supermarket together and take their children. One parent could stay at home with the kids....

     

    Double ditto!!

     

    And people who park opposite your driveway so you can't get out of your own *bleeping* driveway without hitting them!!

    Hitting them would be a great solution if it wasn't for the fact that you'd probably damage your own car.

     

    Absolutely.....One day, I'm going to buy a big truck and run over them....

    A steamroller would be ideal.

    Would you two ladies like some privacy? Room 102 is free...

  6. Posted

    My impression is that ValiSS fancies drawing up a list and then sort of sorting it. It's not like that ValiSS. Deathlist is passive rather than active.

    From our conversations last night, I think ValiSS' "input" could be more than useful when it comes to the demise of Fidel Castro and Oscar Niemeyer. A sort of unofficial quid pro quo betwen DL and the National Power Unity of Latvia. I mean, it's purely coincidental that his political opponents happen to be famous communists on this year's DL, isn't it? :P

  7. Posted

    Going against the grain of the irate moral mongering of the death scared, I would like to say how very much I enjoy reading the posts and the spirit in which the death list is conducted. I am a silent follower, as I have nothing of value to add to the site. Also, I suffer from the cyber syndrome of Inappropriate Smilies :P;):(

     

    Yours in spirit of celebrity demise - DBF

    I admire your post-chastity, Miss Flatterer. To be fair, however, there are many of us who have nothing of value to add to the site, yet are far from silent. :)

     

    Join in, maybe you do have something of value to add; let the other members be the judges of that. Haul-ass those inappropriate smileys, though; being licked to death by kittens isn't as nice as it sounds. ;)

     

    SC

  8. Posted

    Writing Haiku, 17 syllable poems. Links well to the last suggestion since many people disposed to haiku get labelled tossers.

    Here is a Haiku

    To discuss masturbation

    Masturbation's fun

    That's not bad SC

    Though this one is much better

    But I would say that

    What do you know, eh?

    Your Haiku stinks of dog-doo!

    Mine was the shiznit.

  12. Posted

    11 consecutive posts in the same thread? Eleven? Lady Clarissa Richmond, I believe you may have achieved some sort of record.

     

    Someone call Roy Castle & Norris McWhirter, we have a winner! That's not just a DeathList record, it must be a World Record!

     

    You could have had more were it not for hungry kittens and a food-laden refrigerator drawing me downstairs in the middle of the night. Feel free to re-commence your posting spree, M'Lady; let's see how far you can take this thing... I for one, am rooting for you!

  16. Posted

    So here's the question... What hobby would take 5 minutes a day? That's all the time (I?) have free

    Does masturbation count as a hobby?

     

    I mean, it's not really one that you could show off to your friends, or join a club for, (although I'm sure there must be online forums where you can discuss it) but it'll fill 5 minutes of your day quite nicely.

     

    p.s. this Hammond nonsense is almost as irritating as the ubiquity of his "cheeky chirpy chappy" voice. He'll be driving Lamborghinis again by next week, you mark my words; there's nothing wrong with him, unfortunately. Stick an elastoplast on the drama queen and send him home, ffs. Or shove him in a tank full of angry stingrays, whichever is the easier.

    Imagine if he'd died; hoards of middle-class mourners creating a Sunday-morning memorial tailback on the M25 in their reasonably-priced saloons, BMWs, Subaru Imprezas, MPVs and Chelsea tractors; it would make Steve Irwin's death look like the ignominious demise of some nameless, forgotten vagrant in a squalid squat on the outskirts of a big, windy, northern city.

  17. Posted

    :(

     

    Am I the only one who finds this a bit nauseating? If not, I'll move on....

    I'm not sure, CA, but you may be the only one who bothered reading both of those posts in their entirety.

    Without benefit of paragraphs, they stand before me like the north face of the Eiger, and here's me with just my North Face jacket, a map, a compass, a flask of tea and a pair of Jimmy Choo slip-ons. No way I'm attempting that ascent...

  18. Posted

    According to the BBC News apparently music training can 'boost the brain'.

     

    For some strange reason that made me think of Pete Doherty. I think more research is needed.

    Pretty straightforward, surely?

     

    1) Doherty has clearly had no effective musical training.

    2) Doherty is not the brightest fairy light on the christmas tree.

     

    QED.

  19. Posted

    Terence Arthurs, Miss Arthurs-Chegini’s father, described Clarke as a thief and an absolute rotter "He said he was this and that and a businessman but it was all hogwash — he was a conman. Nobody liked him. But she said he was her soulmate and that was that.”

    Arrr! That be fantastic! A man after my own heart. At last, someone who can deliver a candid epitaph instead of hiding behind platitudes. He's just that vital hair's-breadth away from saying "That c*nt killed my daughter. It was his fault and he'll burn in hell, hopefully. I'll p*ss on his grave." Although, to be fair, his comments were already pretty defamatory. Good chap!

  20. Posted

    Or do you have normal lives where you go to work, read the kids a story at night then come on here and talk about death?

     

    Stop following me!

     

    BTW: Isn't it normal for hampsters in the wild to sleep from late September to late March? (arf)

    Hampsters? Do they come from Hampshire? :)

     

    I'd like to think that Richard Hammond lives in a hamlet in Hampshire and sleeps in a hammock. He puts his dirty pants in a hamper, washes in his hammam, hammers a ham & spam bap home with haste then, perhaps, pats his pet hampster and goes out to attempt something silly at work.

  21. Posted

    Let' see what you're all made of, folks :)

    Roughly speaking, we're made of this.

    Dear Kevin,

    The human body is composed of:

     

    96.2% of body weight comes from "organic elements" present in many

    different forms. DNA, RNA proteins, lipids and sugars are all composed of

    primarily O, C, H and N. Also, Water (H2O) and carbon

    dioxide (CO2)as well as other small molecules involve these elements.

     

    Oxygen (65.0%)

    Carbon (18.5%)

    Hydogen (9.5%)

    Nitrogen (3.2%)

     

    3.9% of body weight comes from elements present in the form of salts.

    Don't be fooled by their minute quantities, they are very important for

    the maintenance of homeostasis (meaning "well balanced organism").

    Calcium is a major component of bones and teeth. Iron is necessary for

    oxygen transport by red blood cells. Sulfur is present in most proteins

    and potassium keeps your heart beating smoothly and regularly.

    Calcium (1.5%)

    Phosphorus (1.0%)

    Potassium (0.4%)

    Sulfur (0.3%)

    Sodium (0.2%

    Chlorine (0.2%)

    Magnesium (0.1%)

    Iodine (0.1%)

    Iron (0.1%)

     

    The trace elements compose less than 0.5% of total body weight but then

    again, they are essential for homeostasis. Some of these elements are

    cofactors of critical enzymes in the body (meaning that without them,

    enzyme cannot work at all and that even low concentrations of them can make

    the enzyme work very well.)

     

    Chromium (trace)

    Cobalt (trace)

    Copper (trace)

    Fluorine (trace)

    Manganese (trace)

    Molybdenum (trace)

    Selenium (trace)

    Tin (trace)

    Vanadium (trace)

    Zinc (trace)

     

    As this thread will be deleted tonight, I'd just like to throw up a final, ironic italian salute to all those who disagree with me on this issue, eloquent as some of you may, indeed, be.

     

    I hope we've all learned something from this episode. Most of all, however, I hope that the Moderater class will be stripped of their ridiculous powers as soon as possible, so we can all feel comfortable again, being shat on and manipulated only by those whose ability as moderators we respect.

     

    A good evening to you all!

    SC

  23. Posted

    Tip for SC: Think- H-U-M-O-U-R.

     

    It seems that this topic hasn't been adequately dealt with

     

    I've issued a couple of warnings and removed all signature pictures which involve kittens.

    Well, allow me to retort with the H-U-M-O-U-R of sarcasm...

     

    Great work, NAP. That's the topic dealt with once and for all, then. Must be satifying, that. Almost Columbo-like, the way you tied up all those loose ends. No complaints from me. Brilliant! An inspired piece of Moderation.

     

    I've issued a couple of warnings and removed all signature pictures which involve kittens.

    A 20% warning and my (inoffensive) sig removed. Isn't that exactly the sort of pathetic sh*t you hired the Moderaters for?

  25. Posted

    Giles Blenkinsop

     

    You prefer a dry Martini to Rum, feel that standards in Gentlemens' haberdashery have declined somewhat over the last decade and spend your evenings oiling your favourite pipe-rack. You have pride in your shed and have written several strongly-worded letters to your local paper regarding spawning sites of newts.

     

    Are you sure that link is right?

    A pirate with the name of Giles? Bwhahahahhaha :banghead:

    Arrr! That be irony Phantom's employin' thar, or I'll be swabbing the deck by moonlight in me sister's bloomers. Arrr, 'n' this'll be saaarcasm, 'n' all!

     

    Anubis, the Jackal of the high seas, get yerself a flagon 'o' rum fer that gem.

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