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Youwanticewiththat

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Posts posted by Youwanticewiththat

  5. Posted

     

    you've got to try and determine what to get people for christmas without offending them

     

    I find that asking people what they would like works very well.

     

    I have a few who claim they want nothing when asked... heaven forfend if you accede to their claims...

  7. Posted

    Here Comes the Carnival (Sic)

     

    1. Kareem Abdul Jabbar
    2. Caroline Ahern (JOKER)
    3. Tommy Chong
    4. Bill Cosby
    5. Pete Doherty
    6. Kirk Douglas
    7. Michael J Fox
    8. Barry Gibb
    9. Billy Graham
    10. Valerie Harper
    11. Val Kilmer
    12. Gerald Kaufman
    13. Jerry Lewis
    14. Howard Marks
    15. Leslie Phillips
    16. Nancy Reagan
    17. Linda Ronstadt
    18. Chris Rea
    19. Robert Stigwood
    20. Zsa Zsa

    Subs

     

    Cher

    Fidel Castro

    Big Sean

  8. Posted

    Very sorry to read of your loss Phantom.

     

    An attack on the tunnels would be pretty grim these days given the increase in traffic and their slow-moving nature - I wasn't aware of the IRA Blackwall attempt. Even an incendiary device would be ghastly, given the example of the various alpine tunnels.

    • Like 2

  11. Posted

    He didn't do any promotional stuff for the SNP during the Indy Ref. Take that for what it's worth.

     

    Mind you, that could be because he recognises "old", "frail" and "sex symbol" don't mix

     

    I wish a few more would....

    • Like 2

  20. Posted

     

    Oh, it happens every Friday night in town centres across the UK, CA.

    We are well used to see vomiting whales, resplendent in very short skirts and painted on eyebrows bringing up the evenings Jaegerbombs and kebab specials.

    Us Brits are sheer class or summat.

    Have you been stalking me?

     

     

     

     

    Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed !

    Easy, just act like a massive asshole and she will dump you. When you say flatmate, do you actually live in the same flat and she just has the room next door to yours, or does she actually live next door? If it's the first, then this is piss easy, you just do things like get drunk and piss in her wardrobe, or leave porn DVDs in the player, or let her overhear you on the phone to all your other birds. If she lives next door, wait until she's home one night and then bang another bird really loudly up against your adjoining wall, while shouting 'THAT'S IT, AUNTY MARGARET, TAKE IT TO THE HILT IN YOUR BACK DOOR YOU FUCKING DIRTY OLD BITCH'. She will be kicking you in the bollocks and telling you to fuck off in no time.

     

    Brilliant haha!Unfortunately she has turned out to be a bit like Glenn Close in Fatal attraction.At least I don`t have a rabbit:P She lives in the room next door but we share a kitchen.

     

    Well that's even better - take some selfies of you shitting in a saucepan and wanking into her fromage frais, and post them on her Facebook wall. She will be running for the hills before you can say 'can I have one phone call to my brief please' :D

     

     

    Sadly if she follows the FA model that shit in the saucepan will be turned into your next Bolognese and the Fromage Frais will be her face cream of choice.

    • Like 1

  23. Posted

     

     

    Nasty discolouration on the back on his hand. Maybe onset of significant rejection and thus circulatory issues. Next year really could be his last.

    He may have had a Cannula inserted into a vein in his hand to administer drugs, that can sometimes cause the bruising.

     

     

    Or friction burns from a passionate wank recalling his days swinging with the Krankies

     

    Thanks Mary I just spewed over my keyboard.

  25. Posted

     

    I wonder if his revelation will put an end to his hookers-and-blow parties. That seems to be the only thing that keeps him going.

     

    Doubt it as he says he no longer tests positive..

     

     

    That'll be the Tiger Blood

    • Like 2
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