Brinsworth House Baiter

On what? Err I didn't write that. Looks like my other half has been having some more fun on here. Phew! That was close, it's just as well we decided not to promote you to moderator! Changed my password now, so there shouldn't be anymore confusion or sillyness. Why would somebody want to log in as you? How did they get your password? I suspect it is someone you may know in the flesh. Like you Banshees, I'm no Sherlock, but I have a suspicion that a pertinent clue might lie in the following:

Yes, happy birthday MH and happy birthday also to HCW. 48, eh? Recently I've been feeling very young around here...

Bou wrote: Great dance tracks, eh? I just hope that amongst them, whilst you were doing your break-dancing impression of James Brown, were: Elvis Costello's 'I Can't Stand Up For Falling Down.' 'Falling' by Liquid State feat. Marcella Woods Pizzaman's 'Trippin' On Sunshine' 'Born Slippy' by Underworld The Stone's 'Tumbling Dice' 'Slip Your Disc To This' by Heatwave 'Bump, Bump, Bump' by B2K feat. P. Diddy. And, just for the sake of ultimate 'You've Been Framed' wedding disco humiliation, I hope the DJ was insensitive enough to play Arctic Monkey's 'I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor' as your friends and relations assisted you to your feet. Only joking, Bou. I hope you recover swiftly so that you may go dancing again soon. Might I beg for us fellow DListers to be present and request Gambafreak's 'Instant Replay'?

Further astonishing revelations and cross referencing between the worlds of Waterman and our hero. Waterman formed a charity fund raising football team, named the Waterman XI and various celebs and ex-footballers played to raise money for kid's charities and cancer research. Amongst such A-list celebs as Robert Powell and Robin Asquith was our man, Dicky O. I have wonderful visions of his long grey streaked dark locks flowing behind him as he dances down the wing with an inflated pig bladder at his feet. Turns out Dennis and Dicky O were pretty tight for a while, in all senses of the word- getting pissed, 'going dahn the Bridge' and shagging anything with a feminine pulse. Something else interesting I learned- Waterman was approached by a director and a producer to make a series of films in a Carry On vein, for a lot of money. He eventually turned them down, not wishing to undermine the reputation he had built in theatre etc and so we were robbed of Dennis Waterman being a main player in the Confessions films. A sobering thought, eh? If he'd taken the money and done them, would the Sweeney or Minder ever have seen the light of day? Maybe they would still have done so and Dicky O might have taken the lead roles? How good would that have been if Waterman and O' Sullivan's careers were reversed? That is to say Dicky O as Carter and Terry McCann and Waterman as Robin Tripp? He wouldn't have taken no for an answer and fopped around the MATH abode- he'd have been banging Wilcox and Thomsett all over the place. And then he'd rush downstairs and wipe his knob in Mildred's curtains, whilst yelling 'get me a brown ale, you slag!' And Dicky O in the Sweeney, how great would that have been? REGAN: Nick 'em George! CARTER: Um, right, yes, okay Jack. Right, now, would you mind awfully putting down that cosh, otherwise I might be forced into hitting you with this soup ladle. VILLAIN: Soup ladle? REGAN: F*****g soup ladle? CARTER: Oops, I forgot I wasn't in my restaurant with that one armed Irish bloke. Silly me, I can be such a twit at times, but I get away with it a lot because of my cheeky, toothy grin and... REGAN: Shut it, you effeminate slag! Oh yes, it would have been classic tv. Even more classic than it already is. I wish I had a time machine.

That Amanda sounds my kinda brown loving kinda girl, I'm sorry I wasn't around before she got bored of the forum/ kidnapped by a horny mod and locked up in a basement for deviant purposes/ married/ moved to LA to make dirty movies. And is it just me, or is her avatar the horniest avatar ever? There's something about it that makes me go weak at the knees before quickly stiffening my resolve. Is it a bullet, missile or personalised fountain pen? I don't know, but I do know that it's phallic and has her name down the side. So, in Amanda's honour and the hope that such a sacrifice might encourage her back to the fold, I am going to get her name tattooed on my little BHB. Now that, Mister Castle, is dedication.

So, there I was last night comfortably relaxed in BHB Towers, Guinness and Stilton by my side, dog and family at my feet and book in hand. Currently it is 'REMINDER', Dennis Waterman's autobiography. Imagine my surprise when I reached the part about his being at the Corona Academy and read a list of names of fellow pupils who would go on to attain varying levels of stardom: Frazer Hines- Twat who was in Emmerdale when it was a farm. Michele Dotrice- Frank Spencer's ditzy trouble n' strife (see, I'm picking up Waterman's 'Lahndan' accent already) Judy Geeson- Fit bird from the seventies and was in Carry On England. Susan George- Even fitter bird who starred in two of my all time fave films, 'Venom' and 'Straw Dogs'. She also holds the dubious honour of my having knocked one out over pics of her over the years. Robin Asquith- The long haired Mick Jagger of sitcoms. John (Mitch) Mitchell- Jimi Hendrix's drummer. And...drum roll, please... Richard O' Sullivan! Death List legend and aspiration to us all! Possibly. Anyway, this is all probably old news as the book was originally published in 2000, but it does confirm that Dennis thought Dicky was a lovely bloke and that he used to come back from filming 'Cleopatra' in Rome just to watch Chelsea. Apparently our Dicky was one of the oldest and best in the classes and owned a red sports car and so got all the girls. The old rogue, eh? And it's heartwarming to see that the opposite sex was just as shallow then as they are now. Dodgy barnet, buck teeth and the personality of a kipper? Never fear, buy a red sports car and end up fighting crumpet off with a shitty stick! And, er, that's it really. Some six year old news about news that was from the fifties anyway. Hmmm. More from your intrepid reporter and the rest of the 'out of date news team' this time next week!

I now have this wonderful/disturbing image of you sitting atop a pile of blackened rubble, typing away at your keyboard whilst wearing a bathing suit and being leered at by horny firemen. It works for me anyway...

Honez had one of his Literate Laughs I see. Banshees, that was me who pointed that out, or are you suggesting that Honez has nobbled the spelling? I find that hard to believe, seeing as you are continously misspelling 'intelligence' in every post you submit on this thread. Please note the correct spelling as the overwhelming irony is killing me.

Happy birthday Josco. BTW and I am in no way attempting to be offensive or taking the piss as I was brought up to respect my elders, but after noting your age I was wondering if you hold the distinction of being the oldest Death List member?

Thank you for quoting that as it has brought to my attention my own grammatical error, which I have now rushed back into the original post and corrected. Although my slack ways will forever be evident in your quote, which is not necessarily a bad thing as I occasionally enjoy bringing attention to my slackness.

Wow, like that is really, really heavy, TLC. Almost, I imagine, intellectual. Perhaps philosophical. Maby even eminent in a field full of bulls. I can not really comment as I don't understand a F*****g word of it, thus probably reducing my level of intelligence to that of the farm hand who has to shovel up after all the bulls- but it has impressed me to the point that I have reached for the Rizlas and I shall re-read and re-read it until I do understand it*. Your post that is, as against the Rizla packet. *Or until I doze off and set the sofa on fire. P.S. Can a mod or someone change the spelling mistake in the thread title or am I missing some intended, intelligent irony on Banshee's part?

I dunno, I do something outrageous and out of character like a couple of day's work and look what happens when I get back here. Iain's in trouble again and Windsor's on the warpath again, wearing a kilt and flexing his moderate muscle. I miss this place when I'm not here you know.

Oops, yes I just had this vision of a Dickie O doll with wings stuck on the back Well I'd buy one. I think Paul McCartney has enough on his plate at the moment, without having to worry about issuing court proceedings against the unauthorised manufacture and issue of Dicky O dolls with the images of himself, Denny Laine and his late vegetarian (vegetated?) wife on its back. Although the added stress might make him a worthy candidate for next year's list...

I can sympathise a little- you gotta pay those costs and fines any which way you can...

Oh I fall into the second category, without a doubt. I know this because they told me as they were taking off the electrodes after running all those tests that time.

Yep, happy birthday, Star Crossed. Only 32, eh? You lucky so and so. I remember being 32- full of hope, optimism and dreams. A lovely age, where you've finally started coming to terms with the fact that you've hit the big 30, yet are safely smug in the knowledge that the landmark 40 is still ages away. Take it from me, it ain't, so live it to the full while you can, man. I hope I haven't depressed you too much- have a good one!

Bye bye Ellis, bye bye! It looks like he's finally gone, barring crossing the t's and dotting the i's. Ellis and Petchey have decided to sell their shares, so hopefully the rest of the board will follow suit. They've got 21 days apparently, but hopefully they'll do it before that and the end of the transfer window and O'Neill can get his hands on the promised £50 million war chest. I hope Lerner means pound sterling and not dollars. Typically there's nothing on Sky Sports News this morning, but it's elsewhere. So, is the sleeping giant about to awaken? Oh yes, look out Chelsea, look out Arsenal, look out Man Ure, look out Liverpool- the Villa boys are back in business!

Slapped wristies, BHB! Ouch! Damn, I didn't go back far enough- lazy, silly me. Seeing as it was in Sat's Sun I only went back a day or so before that in the thread. So, I blame the Sun for its lethargic attitude to posting news regarding death. Bollocks to them, I shall take a leaf out of Iain's book and rely on Wikipedia instead. Or, I shall simply leave matters of death related posting to those with their fingers on the pulse (as it were) and stick to posting my usual nonsensical sh*t. P.S. How come 'wank' evades the swear filter? And before anyone posts the link to the previous conversations about the swear filter, I am aware of those, but I was just wondering. I mean, how common is the word wank? Oh well...

I've had a look around a couple of threads, but can't seem to find any existing reference- I'm sure there is, so apologies in advance if I'm duplicating this- I read at the weekend that Kenneth Richmond, who was the guy who banged the gong at the start of J Arthur Rank films (NOT wank films!) passed away, aged 80. He was found dead just down the road from me at his beachside property in Christchurch, Dorset. Apparently he was a former wrestling star who won a bronze medal at the Melbourne Olympics in 1952, the same year he first appeared banging his gong on film (NOT wanking). Phew, I'm off for a lie down now- me, straying into Iain territory and actually reporting a death! I just hope I put in the right place and that it's not already been reported. Sorry again if it has. Finally, the Sun's headline about this made me smile: 'So long, Mr. Gong.'

Alvin Stardust has a lot to answer for. To this day people in gloves perturb me. It was the way he pointed at the camera during TOTP whilst wearing those leather ones. With great big rings on. Eurghh. Between him, Gary Glitter and Jimmy Saville it's no wonder I'm f**ked up. Getting back on topic, it's probably why I sought childhood solace in 'safe' places like Robin's Nest and MATH. But I'm no pyschologist. I've re-read this and it doesn't quite read right, especially that second paragraph, but I'll post it anyway. Publish and be damned, as they say at lulu.com.

Brandy, There are also some updates regarding our hero's movements here: Where You Can Stalk Dicky From the link I learned that there are a couple a pubs in Covent Garden that he frequents from time to time and he also apparently cut some demo discs in the sixties. Wow, bet they'd fetch a fortune on e-bay and no mistake.

Well, finished Ellroy's 'LA Confidential' and have to say I was mighty impressed. Was completely lost for the first three or four chapters due to the volume of introduced characters and the LA fifties 'cop speak', but I'm glad I stuck with it. Now I can watch the film that I've had on video for years and never gotten round to seeing. Over the weekend I relaxed in the sunshine with 'Inside the Firm' by Tony Lambriouni (wrong spelling but can't be arsed to go and check- he's retired from his knee capping days so I don't think he'll be too upset if he reads this). He was one of the main players with the Kray Twins in the sixties and went down with them for the Jack the Hat murder. Interesting read and the chapters concerning his time in jail were enough to remind me that it's not really a place I ever wish to spend my days. The whole sixties gangster scene fascinates me- although not in a romantic, 'Robin Hood', they loved their dear old mum and only hurt their own kind of way way, because these guys were undoubtedly heartless bastards, but they did seem to have a certain class. One line from it will stick with me forever. Talking about his impoverished childhood in the war hit East End, he said that they never had any toys and added: 'Our toys were bricks and our playgrounds bomb sites.' I liked that, so I thought I'd share it. See? They were all misunderstood pussy cats really...

Now there's a sentence I didn't think I'd ever read in my lifetime. Brilliant stuff.

Useless fact of the day- I was born in Margate. Which presumably now gives you even less to recommend about the place.

And I'll take a wild guess that he's not heavy either. Hey, that's not very nice! His welfare is my concern if you must know..... Ithangyew, you've been a great audience, safe journey home & quiet on the way out, pur-leeze! Nope. I've slept on it and I still don't understand this response to my, admittedly not very good, Hollies joke. I think I'm smoking the wrong cigarettes or drinking the wrong tea or something... Confused, Hampshire.