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Brinsworth House Baiter

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Posts posted by Brinsworth House Baiter

  1. Posted

    I trust everyone is aware that "Banshees Scream" is just part of a psychological experiment being carried out by the hosts of this website. Different people (trained scientists, usually) will adopt his persona, or even variations thereof, and "post" comments from him in an attempt to annoy, confuse, confound, or amuse the other members of the site. The various responses and comments regarding Banshees (be they in chat, via PM's, or in secret locations within the DL site) are all carefully monitored and recorded, to be analyzed at great length by a team of neurologists and psychoanalysts.

     

    OK Mr.Ronnie 'thanks' cough cough ........................

     

    For me your tone here in a way is hard for me 'to figure out' but I have a pretty good idea what your getting at. I guess you ask yourself 'how the hell does this guy go from that - to this?' It can't be for real. Well let me tell you Ronnie, I realize I've made posts that are crazy or even more extravagantly 'some posts' have 'made little' if no sense at all. If you want an answer I guess I've had my bad days, and I've posted effortlessly which I can't blame members who are so consistent 'for criticizing' because 'if anything' on those circumstances I deserve it based on the sh*t I post.

     

    I mean Ronnie, would it really be any fun if everybody posted like Godot? Don't get me wrong, Godot is a very sophisticated poster but for f**ks sakes man 'what would the attraction be?' Everybody post like a morbid author with a strict vocabulary who is a warm milk drinking scholar in his spare time? f**k that. Seriously.

     

    From now on 'everybody can see my serious side' and there will no longer be any posts that are hard to figure out. I will be direct and I'll say it exactly the way it is. I log in on Deathlist for two reasons, I find it a learning experience and second I find it at times very entertaining 'and I'm sure' some members could agree with that. I feel intended grudges are if anything very immature, and one of my qualities is forgiveness. I don't really hate anybody, so if you think my sudden apologetic efforts are 'insane' remember 'it's the internet' .. your lover Harry Mcnally has been disrespectful for some time, so I decided to trash him 'and I did' he got drunk and pissed off and sent me his bullshit ... and it's over. As an adult I have apologized.

     

    In the end if there is anything I will contribute 'it will be my perspective' and it will be 'my perspective against others'.

     

    Now I'm off to give Star Crossed a Holler because if you don't think 'Cheney - Obama' being cousins is a big deal I wanna know who in your family went into cardiac arrest last night.

     

    I found it really helps to read the quoted post in an Irish accent, like that bloke off 'Mock the Week.'

     

    Try it, you'll see I'm right.

     

    It at least makes Banshees' twatiness sound funny.

     

    BHB

  2. Posted

    I didn't quite know where to place this.

     

    Apologies if I upset anyone due to my misplaceage (it might be a word! If not, it damn well should be), but I hope my old friend, MH, would give me his blessing. Certainly the mods would not have blessed a new thread entiltled 'My dog, my mum...one's dead, one's dying!'

     

    Allow me to explain.

     

    A few weeks ago my dog died. After 14 years by my side. I had to put him to sleep, the arthritis in his hinds legs meant he had no standard of life and he was in such pain that I had to carry him outside to the garden every time he needed the toilet. He was a greyhound/lurcher, so this was no easy task. Anyway, he was in my arms as the vet put him to sleep and I didn't think I'd ever cry so much again.

     

    A week after that, my Auntie Iris died. She was nearly 90, lived half her life with the after effects of a stroke but the end was peaceful.

     

    Then, last week, my mother's cancer was deemed inoperable. Apparently two years would be an outside bet.

     

    So, as you might think, my life is a little, well, sh*t at the moment.

     

    I say all this because I've been a little down recently and my wife said 'but isn't this what your death list is for? To make you feel better?'

     

    So, I thought I'd try and write how I feel, amongst friends, and explain why I won't be round for a while.

     

    It's easy to joke about death, just not when you're in the middle of a field surrounded by it.

     

    BHB

  3. Posted

    Took part in a pub quiz this evening using "Deathlist Convention" as a team name. (We came 3rd after deliberately losing a tiebreak to some ladies)

     

    The landlady who ran the quiz was heard to remark "That's an awful name".

     

    Can the committee come up with something else more likely to appeal to half-pished Irish pub landladies?

     

    Might be important on the night.

     

    Tinned Shergar United?

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

     

    P.S. NAP, did your chivalrous tiebreak throwing pay dividends and result in some romantic fumbling with said ladies or are you too much of a gentleman to tell?

  4. Posted

    Banshees wrote:

     

    What a pain in my left ear this guy is.

     

    Why is he? Is he currently performing the the wish of several DListers by punching the f**k out of your left ear?

     

    Hopeful cheers,

     

    BHB

  7. Posted

    I've just noticed that I am approaching twuntdom, if that is the correct phrase in these parts for nearing 1000 posts.

     

    I also notice that Godot, the esteemed gentleman in the hat who invited me to join these murky waters, is approaching double that number. On the verge of becoming a double twunt, if you will.

     

    Twuntdom is certainly something that would look very good on my CV at my time of life. Indeed, having failed to embark upon a life of crime during my late teens (couldn't start the stolen Cortina), missed out on that dream job (job owner realised I'd slept with his sister) and missed out on the Army (inherited Hancock's flat feet, despite being no relation), I am looking forward to stepping into twuntdom. Death Listing is finally something I can do. Probably not very well, but I've lasted, despite a lengthy sojourn to a real world where the virtual access is few. Or something.

     

    I'd like to say that I shall approach twuntdom with the employed cool of said Godot who stopped and teetered on post 999, but alas, I shall never breathe the minty cool air that Godot inhales. Instead I shall be marking off the posts on the wallpaper next to my little computer corner in the living room. It's about as rebellious and cool as I get, but I shall be doing it with the anticipating glee of a sixteen year old alcoholic who's realised that it's not long before he can take his alcoholism behind the wheel of a car.

     

    Honestly, becoming a twunt won't change me. My posts will still be as lame, doddering and fumbling as ever.

     

    Being lame, doddering and fumbling is the way is it is in the House of Brinsworth.

     

    And Godot, my old chum, any thoughts concerning your imminent double twuntdom or did you plan to spend it quietly behind your sunglasses? In which case, I apologise for bringing attention to its imminence.

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

  8. Posted

    The Tyson train wreck continues. You just know he's not going to last long (suicide, murder, OD - the possibilites are legion), but getting the actual year would be tough.

     

    He'll be a popular boy inside though, what with all that money and all those drug connections.

     

    Or mebbe not so popular when they find out he ain't sharing.

     

    It truly is a car crash of a celeb career, but I don't think it'll be suicide though, Harry, (to cross one off the legion). I don't think he'd have got to where he did if there were any elements of being a quitter in his make-up. When Tyson goes it'll be murder and won't that perp be Mister Big on the landing?

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

  9. Posted

    Millwall 32 wrote:

     

    I ahte her on the very simple grounds that she is not funny but people seem to fawn over her comic abilities.

     

    I really hope you were dyslexic with the word hate and weren't confessing to some celebrity cunnilingus on very simple grounds...

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

  10. Posted

    McCann jokes don't help your comedy career. Rhys Jones isn't funny either, apparently. Still be interested to hear the offensive jokes myself, like.

     

    Ooh, of all the cities to make such a faux-pax. Not very forgiving, the Scousers- just ask The Sun and FHM magazine.

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

  11. Posted

    BBC News just reporting the CPS has got a file linking convicted child killer Robert Black with the long-lost Genette Tate - newspaper delivery girl last seen in 1978. No link from the site, yet.

     

    Has it really been 29 years since she went missing? I remember this when it happened as I grew up in Devon and there used to be black and white photocopied posters on the telegraph poles all over the place. I suspect that it was actually probably only in Devon as in those days there obviously wasn't the Internet and the opportunity to launch drives of Madeleine proportions.

     

    I hope something turns up as to the girl's whereabouts as those posters haunted me as a nine year old- nothing like that really happened in sleepy Devon, it always seemed to be 'up London way' and up North. If nothing else it would provide the family with some much needed closure as I suspect thier hope has begun to ebb for some time.

     

    BHB

  12. Posted

    As I got stinking drunk on Friday night and struggled in vain to remain sensible, see what i was typing and remain

    inoffensive and coherant,I would like to humbly appologise to anybody who I offended, angered or bemused.

    Thank you

     

    PS: All of the above does not apply to BS and probably SC ( who is always badly behaved anyway)

     

    Hey, Lord,

     

    Still on your bender?

     

    Only asking as there only seems to be a couple of posts since this one (the last one was class by the way!).

     

    Keep posting- don't let offending, angering or bemusing anyone stop you from posting. It's like walking back into that pub at morning opening time and saying 'okay, so who the f**k did I upset last night and is there a contract out on me?'

     

    Maybe. If you drink in the kind of pubs that I do in my head, but in reality are quite safe until the gunman walks in...f**k, see? There I go again...

     

    Come on, get posting- or, in language you might understand at the moment...gte potsing.

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

  13. Posted

    Good spot.

     

    I so hope it's true, just for the petulant way he threw down his monitor on Saturday. And an endless list of other petulance related crimes since seeking employment in this country.

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

  14. Posted

    Whoever kept deleting my posts about Stevie Nicks and her back-passage-blow-backs...ta.

     

    No ta about it- they were really working for me. I know we're talking about dreams and I was conscious while they were working, but hey, it's Stevie Nicks, right?

     

    Stevie Nicks and back-passage-blow-backs. Mmmm. Oh no, it's still working...

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB :unsure:

  15. Posted

    Oh dear. Maybe they should have stuck Hawking or Ali in a spangly bikini and got them to open the show instead.

     

    I dunno... I've been thinking about this. And I've studied the video. A bit. Quite a lot actually. In fact it's taken me ten days, wrist sprain and several stern warnings from Mrs BHB, but I have to say that I have reached a conclusion.

     

    Many people have criticised her costume and suggested she's overweight, but I have to say that I still find her totally doable.*

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

     

    *verb. Meaning to fancy in a rumpy-pumpy sort of way. Origins, probably, one of the Bronte sisters- source- The Pooka in the Dicky O' thread.

    • Like 1

  16. Posted

    This was indeed sad news, made even sadder by the realisation that this probably also means the demise of his excellent games franchise for the PS2 etc.

     

    I suppose Colin McRae's Dirt takes on an entirely different meaning now.

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

     

    P.S. Unless they cremate him, in which case my lame attempt at a joke has just got even lamer...

     

     

    I just bought his new game for my PC, Colin McRae's Helicopter Simulator, but it keeps crashing.

     

    Excellent! :unsure:

     

    You see, that was exactly the type of morbid, death realted pun type joke I was seeking, but the guys in my mind's joke factory totally failed. I'm currently sacking the lot of them with another can of Stella.

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

  17. Posted

    A heartwarming story of chivalrous sportsmanship, from the unlikely world of professional football (clip: first 30 secs, for non-diehards). And Cowboy Ronnie's First Law of Sports Karma is upheld with the result.

     

    'Twas indeed heartwarming in this cynical footballing age. Although, given its cynicism and financially driven targets, can we now look forward to lowly, struggling teams finding themselves a goal down and presenting a sacrificial cardiac victim to abandon a game? It might well be a tactic to use when star players are out due to suspension or injury and are eligible to play the reinstated fixture.

     

    I think we should keep an eye on Bolton. If anyone's going to be desperate enough to administer induced heart attacks it's going to be Sammy Lee over the course of the season...

     

    Ahem. Possibly.

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

  18. Posted

    Also BHB I'm quite disturbed that you think it's better to be dead than to be raped. Sadly quite a lot of people think that. Have you any idea how insulting that is to survivors of rape and abuse?

     

    Okay, this will be my last post in this thread.

     

    Apologies to the anonymous member who posted the above. In hindsight yes, my analogy was screwed. However, I don't think I ever said that I think it's better to be dead than raped. I'm sorry if it was misconstrued that way. It would never be my intention to belittle the plight of rape victims.

     

    All I have been trying to convey is my incredulity and disgust at some posters in this thread who seem to hold the opinion that Langham was only looking at images of children being raped and that they appear to think that's okay.

     

    Somewhere along the line I seem to have come out as the bad guy here, which to be honest surprises me more than a little. To be labelled as an illiterate chav etc. purely because I have voiced the opinion that any form of child abuse and its perpetrators disgust me strikes me as bizzare. It actually strikes me as a whole lot more than merely bizarre, but then perhaps I shouldn't elaborate for fear of upsetting anyone else.

     

    As for the suggestion that I think rape and abuse victims are better off dead, well, I don't think that and I didn't actually say that. I apologise again if I have offended the member concerned, it certainly wasn't my intention to do so. Like I said, I made one sh*t analogy, but hey, let's not forget that there are at least three members in this thread who seem to be justifying and excusing what Langham did. They were who I was questioning and expressing disgust at. I certainly make no apologies to them.

     

    Anyway, I made my point and I still stand by my opinions. Except the sh*t serial killer analogy, obviously. In finishing, I'd just like to stick two virtual fingers up at the posters here who think Langham's misunderstood as I leave this horrible f*****g thread forever. How you can begin to sympathise with or defend him is totally beyond me- I'd sooner be irrational than sick.

     

    BHB

  19. Posted

    This was indeed sad news, made even sadder by the realisation that this probably also means the demise of his excellent games franchise for the PS2 etc.

     

    I suppose Colin McRae's Dirt takes on an entirely different meaning now.

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

     

    P.S. Unless they cremate him, in which case my lame attempt at a joke has just got even lamer...

  21. Posted

    I really hate this thread.

     

    I feel the same way now. I'm also beginning to hate the side of characters being slowly revealed by certain members in it, so I think this will be my last entry hereabouts.

     

    HOS' post above pretty much somes it all up.

     

    BHB

  22. Posted

    No, he's worse than a serial killer.

    'All he did was download some pictures off the net.' WTF? The very nature of what he was downloading and wanking over makes him a beast of the highest nature. The whole scenario fills with me with a rage and the wish to vomit.

    First things first... he certainly is not "worse than a serial killer", BHB. Your hysterical ranting is reminiscent of illiterate chavs, marching through the streets with placards demanding "Peedofiles Owt!" The British criminal justice system is thankfully, whilst far from perfect, run by people eminently more qualified than yourself to pass judgement on others.

     

    Secondly, in order to know he was "wanking" over the images he downloaded, you must have been spying on him. What's worse, a man wanking over some kiddy-porn or a man wanking as he watches another man wank over kiddy-porn? See, you don't like it when I assume your implicit masturbation, do you?

     

    I wonder which part of Langham masturbating, to videos of children being raped, they don't understand?

    Masturbating, was he? I don't think that came out in the court case... it's your half-cocked masturbatory assumption, possibly fuelled by BHB's delusionally-paranoid rant, that we don't understand.

     

    You're both more intelligent and rational than these posts make you appear, surely?

     

    Blimey, where do I start?

     

    Reminiscent of illiterate chavs, am I? An endorsement of the British criminal justice system from your good self?

     

    I don't think any sane minded individual with the slightest sense of value can argue that what Langham did was appalling. Even if we stick with what he was actually sent down for, downloading indecent images and forget about the other charge of grooming and having sex with an underage girl, it's a no-brainer that what he did was disgusting. It's a given.

     

    As I understand it he paid to see children being raped on his credit card, which in turn fuels and provides the sick bastards who produce this filth. Do not forget, Star Crossed, that whilst you, Dave & Youth In Asia, seem to be of the opinion that he was merely looking at pictures, those pictures were of some poor parent's traumatised children.

     

    You seem to take much issue with the assumed masturbatory angle, which I don't really understand. If he wasn't looking at them for sexual kicks, well, what other reason is there? In fact, I don't care if he did for therapy, curiousity or out of boredom- the fact that he did it was wrong, end of story.

     

    I'll treat your bizarre and, frankly, childish comment about me spying on him with the contempt it deserves.

     

    I have a theory concerning the apparent Langham appreciation society camped in this thread. I think it's because he's a middle classed media luvvie (or rather was). If this case involved, for the sake of arguement, a Premiership footballer then you'd all be tripping over yourselves to be in here slating them and making snide comments. Yet, because it was the 'creative genius' that is Langham, certain members seem to be in denial and actually appear to defending and making excuses for his actions.

     

    Well, I'm sorry, but as far as nonces go there are no class distinctions. He is what he is, he did what he did and, SC, I don't think it's a question of intelligence to be appalled by that.

     

    Call me delusionary-paranoid, ranting, irrational, a Daily Mail reader, whatever you like, but it doesn't change the fact that you're the one appearing to be publicly defending convicted nonces.

     

    I'll say it again, yes, he is worse than a serial killer. At least the victims of a serial killer are beyond pain, whereas the victims funded by Langham's credit card face a lifetime of harrowing pain.

     

    I take it that none of those defending Langham here are parents? If they are then my total disbelief has doubled.

     

    BHB

  23. Posted

    yeah I know-its a shame.All he did was download some pictures off the net after all.Hes hardly a serial killer!

     

    No, he's worse than a serial killer.

     

    'All he did was download some pictures off the net.' WTF? The very nature of what he was downloading and wanking over makes him a beast of the highest nature. The whole scenario fills with me with a rage and the wish to vomit. Much like your blase post. You're not a judge by any chance, are you?

     

    It matters not about personal opinion concerning Langham's gifts as a writer or comedian- it doesn't change the fact that he's a nonce. Serial killers get more respect in jail than nonces.

     

    BHB

  25. Posted

    Still a few days to hurl himself in front of a train.

    From his cell? :D

     

    Perhaps he has a Hornby in there. I think it's diabolical the special privileges these celebrities get inside....

     

    Cheers,

     

    BHB

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