Brinsworth House Baiter
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Posts posted by Brinsworth House Baiter
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Mmm...it might be more fun if it could add up properly 'n'all...
It tallied my pathetic score as 4 out of twenty when it was actually a jaw dropping six.
Got five out of ten on the sport quiz though... so I'm consistently crap...
Cheers,
BHB
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If the tranny is rocking, don't come knocking!Tranny-based joke, not appreciated by some...
If there are any Securicor-depot-type cash heists over the next few days or weeks in the UK or northern France, I think we have a clear suspect. Do the right thing and call Crimestoppers on +44 (0)800 555 111.
SC, I think you might be on to something there, having noticed that the Captain has cunningly either planted a bush to obscure his rear number plate or driven around for a while until discovering a conveniently placed shrub.
Oh, and Cap'n, yep, my tranny was far better looking than yours. Although they both have the same rusty brown undercarriage...
Cheers,
BHB
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f**k-all wrong with her that a decently-buil;t spoliff and a calm line of smack wouldn't cure. all back to mine, Amy>?Edit; there goes my 701 posting limit. blooody mary!
Decently built spliff?
I admire the sentiment, old chum, but at the mo it would rather appear that you are having trouble constructing a decent sentence.
Perhaps one should postpone thinking about boffing the delectably tattooed skag head for an evening.
Cheers,
BHB
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Today we set off again, this time with all our worldly goods in the back of a tranny, so it's back to internet-cafe-life and incomprehensible French computer keyboards.I hope you all have as much fun as we plan to have!
I once put all my worldly goods in the back of a tranny, but I went to Thailand to do so, not France...
Happy hols, Cap'n!
BHB
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I would have thought she'd have to have unfettered access to the Brinsworth House tradesman's entrance to give you a fitting Aston Villa tribute.I'm not fond of using emoticons by way of reply, but I think your post deserves a
And quite possibly a
Cheers,
BHB
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Any half-way competent parent will tell you to let children solve their own disputes.I totally agree, although there are always going to be times when your kids are going to need a helping hand & support- especially when they're having to deal with other adults.
It's difficult enough letting your kids go outside these days as it is, without situations arising from unexpected quarters.
Cheers,
BHB
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Ok... so... I went into the chat tonight, only to experience a serious lag. So I exited that chat, closed the browser window, opened a new one and tried to re-enter the chat only to be told that I was already in there, and therefore could not get "in". Weird...There is something odd going on in 'chatland' SC last night and tonight I was in the chat and according to the main board there were 2 of me in there, one is far more than enough!
Two Lady Grendels?
Ah, the stuff of DL fantasy...
That golden hair, doubled, as it drapes like two pairs of curtains over my big, throbbing...
Ahem...
Cheers,
BHB
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This.I don't think Hitler asked if they minded him changing the German Republic into the German Reich! God help them. One of these days Salmond will have the misfortune of meeting me! I will destroy him!
Anyway, moving on...
I would like to put the local police in Room 101 - again.
I'm sure I've told you about my workmate's family's run ins with the law. If not here, in chat I've told you about his father, him, and his grandfather being treated rather shitty by the law.
Well this week it was the turn of the younger brother...
He had been out mucking about with his friends one night when a gang approached him asking the whereabouts of one of his friends. He did not know where the friend was and so that was that.
So he got home and was on the computer, speaking to his friends on one of those networking sites when he got a messages informing him, from several of these gang members, that they were now 'after' him.
Over the week it became worse. He was being chased etc and had to be let out of school early and all that, generally making his life hell. He decided that enough was enough and went to the police. He was told by the police that there was nothing they could do about it because there were 15 of them and only 1 of him. Therefore, their word outnumbered his.
This struck me as being completely absurd. Is this how bullying is allowed to continue?
Welcome to Blair's Britain, Wins.
Just this week my daughter was playing out the front & some old biddy neighgbour, who shall remain anonymous, grabbed my daughter's arm, told her to play elsewhere & made her cry.
Needless to say, I went up there & had a word or two
Hence the Old f*****g Bill in my house for three f*****g quarters of an hour taking a statement.
It sucks.
Thanks, Tony.
Cheers,
BHB
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Ok... so... I went into the chat tonight, only to experience a serious lag. So I exited that chat, closed the browser window, opened a new one and tried to re-enter the chat only to be told that I was already in there, and therefore could not get "in". Weird...Hmmm....
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Surely I won't get a warning for desiring and hoping for anal sex with my already bound and gagged (in Villa colours) wife?But how will she be able to give you what you're hoping for good and hard if she's bound and gagged?
Oh, Honez, bless.
You either haven't been to Japan or you're spending way too much time on here....
Cheers,
BHB
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Good spotting JMH, I think he'll survive into the next decade, but may well not survive his forties at this rate.The bloke's got suicide written all over him.
Not your conventional 'hang myself/slash my wrists/gas myself/' kinda suicide, but that kinda 'ooh, let's see if I can throw myself into total despair with another drink.'
I know, 'cos I can identify with the Geordie tosser.
Bet I die before him though...because he only drinks.
f*****g half pint, Gazza, get some drugs in yer system! Be a man!
Cheers,
BHB
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So...Winehouse...naked...with a syringe hanging out of her foot...still 'doable' or not?
I'm voting yes, although of course I'd be wearing a condom. On my personal syringe.
Cheers,
BHB
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I must congratulate the Villans on pissing off dear old Roman Abramovich, who left the ground faster than a Shithouse Rat when goal number 2 went in.That was funny, wasn't it? No doubt writing a cheque for Young, Laursen & Agbonlahor as he went.
Oh, & yep, I'm delighfully optimistic, as you so Nancy Drewishly observed. I'm even hoping that the missus will take it up the Arsenal tonight.
Sorry, Mods, but come on! Villa beat Chelsea! 2-0!
Surely I won't get a warning for desiring and hoping for anal sex with my already bound and gagged (in Villa colours) wife?
God, I'm so happy right now.
Up the Villa!
Cheers,
BHB
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'Underworld' by Don Delillo.
Anyone else read this crap, up your own arse, oh I'm the author & I've forgotten what my point is (oh really? I'm the reader & I've forgotten what the will to live is), f*****g bollocks?
Bought this 800 odd page epic in a charity shop & was massively disappointed. About the only saving grace is the fact that it's signed inside by the author so I might get something back on e-bay for the two months it took me to get through the f*****g thing.
Now, as fellow members know, I'm quite articulate & well read, so the size of the volume didn't faze me, nor did his superfluous language. What did faze me though was the fact that I couldn't bring myself to care about the characters, the chapters spent building stuff up that ended up forgotten about & the general consideration that there just didn't seem to be a f*****g story.
I can read two to three books a week, but this took me two months because I spent nights looking at it on the coffee table, unable to face it & choosing the PS2 instead. One night I almost favoured suicide.
I looked it up on Google. Apparently the New York Times voted it the second best novel of the last 25 years. So I thought, 'it must be me' & laboured on. That and the fact that the only book I've ever given up on was Watership Down. When I was eight. It still bothers me.
It isn't me. It's an arty farty piece of sh*t. I get the whole 'waste' analogy, blah blah blah, but it's boring. The only highlights were the parts about Lenny Bruce, which gave me a little American social background to one of my favourite comics.
I very nearly threw a party when I turned the last page. Total sh*t.
Since then I've binged myself on books & rattled through King's 'Cell' (alright, but nay classic) & Chris Simm's 'Outside the White Lines'.
Currently a few chapters into Koontz's 'The Husband'- looks very promising.
Note to Googlebot- crawl through & read this- Delillo's 'Underworld' is shite.
Cheers,
BHB
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ASTON VILLA 2 CHELSEA 0
Oh yes!
I can sense a trip to Europe beckoning...best renew that passport for next season. If we draw a Dutch side in the Champion's League can I crash on your sofa MH?
Cheers,
BHB
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I would concur.
Cocaine would have almost certainly made the feline sick, whereas a nice fur ball sized ball of grass would have made him or her funny. Although the post tuna munchie binge might well have also led to him or her being sick.
It's a tricky one, but the moggy in question should at least feel very grateful that Mister Doherty didn't have any ketamine lying around at the time. Now that really would have made him sick. To the point of being dead, probably.
Which is a thought...is his cat now famous enough to make the Death List now it's a coke fiend?
Cheers,
BHB
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I have to say that Sally Thomsett still looks absolutely doable in that picture.BHB
Brinsworth, you are an incurable romantic. Was it one of the Bronte's who first used the term 'doable' of a young woman?
Quite possibly, my erstwhile friend. I know for a fact that it certainly wasn't Noel Coward.
Cheers,
BHB
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People who don't indicate at roundabouts. There is no excuse. Offenders should be dragged from their car and beheaded at the side of the road.I don't want to be anti tourist, but grockles should only be allowed to drive through Devon at night.
Ah, grockles!
Having been brought up in Branscombe (no, I didn't pop back to loot the Napoli) and now living in Southampton I haven't heard that term in a while- although I still use it frequently, much to people's bemusement and incomprehension. Usually when driving. As in 'you could get a f*****g bus through there you f*****g grockle!'
This stems from growing up driving through the narrow country lanes in and around Branscombe. Honiton Common was another favourite- it used to be a main road with no markings whatsover, although I dare say it might have changed now.
Ah, the fun I used to have in my Cortinas and Capris. Apart from the f*****g grockles.
The trouble was that they used to come down on holiday for two weeks of the year, meet another car in a lane and then realise that they've got to use their reverse gear. For more than half a yard into a parking space.
One of my earliest memories as a boy is being on a bus (Western National, if memory serves me correct) and the bus driver totally lost it with this grockle plank who couldn't reverse back into a passing space. He leapt out of the bus, practically manhandled the driver out, sat next to his startled wife and reversed his car Dukes of Hazzard style out of the way. Then he got back into the bus and drove past as all the passengers cheered and jeered at the embarrassed, humiliated driver.
Brilliant.
Cheers,
BHB
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What a terrible post ^
Maybe I can redeem myself by directing users to this semi-recent photo ( http://www.mrsite.co.uk/gallerypic.asp?gal...scan0003(2).jpg )
Sorry my computer is playing silly buggers with inserting hyperlinks.
I have to say that Sally Thomsett still looks absolutely doable in that picture. The sands of time have indeed been kind to her. Either that or the surgeon's knife has.
The same however can not be said of our hero, who looks as though he was in the throes of another stroke- although, to give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he's been so long out of the limelight that he's forgotten how to pose for the camera.
Cheers,
BHB
I slightly disagree. i think that if you look at a picture of him as Dick Turpin in the late 70's, then the picture above is the logical progression of his having aged 30 years. I'm not saying that he is not ill; rather that he lokks good for someone so ill.
Okay, we'll agree to disagree then and, should the situation ever arise, at the end of the night you can pair off with Dicky whilst I escort the absolutely still doable Sally to her hotel room.
I feel this solution would lead to everyone becoming a winner.
Cheers,
BHB
If you look at my last post in this thread you may notice that I didn't say anything about Sally not looking good.
I am well aware of that.
You didn't say anything about her not looking good at all, rather, you inferred that Dicky O' looked hot for an ill person.
All I was suggesting was that since I go for 21 year olds from the Railway Children (thanks, Hacky) and you go for ill people who look good, Dicky O' would be more your bag should we ever end up in the improbable situation where we are both out on the lash and end up bumping into Dicky and Sally and they suggest we swing.
You know, kinda like a Man About the Death List kinda thing...
Cheers,
BHB
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What a terrible post ^
Maybe I can redeem myself by directing users to this semi-recent photo ( http://www.mrsite.co.uk/gallerypic.asp?gal...scan0003(2).jpg )
Sorry my computer is playing silly buggers with inserting hyperlinks.
I have to say that Sally Thomsett still looks absolutely doable in that picture. The sands of time have indeed been kind to her. Either that or the surgeon's knife has.
The same however can not be said of our hero, who looks as though he was in the throes of another stroke- although, to give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he's been so long out of the limelight that he's forgotten how to pose for the camera.
Cheers,
BHB
I slightly disagree. i think that if you look at a picture of him as Dick Turpin in the late 70's, then the picture above is the logical progression of his having aged 30 years. I'm not saying that he is not ill; rather that he lokks good for someone so ill.
Okay, we'll agree to disagree then and, should the situation ever arise, at the end of the night you can pair off with Dicky whilst I escort the absolutely still doable Sally to her hotel room.
I feel this solution would lead to everyone becoming a winner.
Cheers,
BHB
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I'd also put, globally, Senna's death ahead of Nixon's - it was seen by billions of people & affected millions.Affected millions? What, like:
'Wow, man, d'ya see that? Woh, that's gotta hurt! Pass the Pringles.'
Or
'Hey, get in here quick and bring some beers with you, you just gotta see the action replay of this!'
Cheers,
BHB
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What a terrible post ^Maybe I can redeem myself by directing users to this semi-recent photo ( http://www.mrsite.co.uk/gallerypic.asp?gal...scan0003(2).jpg )
Sorry my computer is playing silly buggers with inserting hyperlinks.
I have to say that Sally Thomsett still looks absolutely doable in that picture. The sands of time have indeed been kind to her. Either that or the surgeon's knife has.
The same however can not be said of our hero, who looks as though he was in the throes of another stroke- although, to give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he's been so long out of the limelight that he's forgotten how to pose for the camera.
Cheers,
BHB
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Lee Hazlewood has an obituary in the GuardianFantastic quote from that Guardian link:
'Later that year Hazlewood wrote These Boots Are Made for Walking and instructed Sinatra to sing it "like a 16-year old girl who f**ks truck drivers".'
I shall never be able to listen that particular ditty in the same light again...
Cheers,
BHB
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He doesn't strike me as a man who'll be able to handle jail time.
If he has not practiced loosening his sphincter, Big Bubba his cell mate certainly will. Do think he would rather be Mummy or Daddy
His only hope is that he enjoys it!!!
Hell mend him
To rework an old joke:
Langham: Um, I'm your new cell mate.
Big Bubba: Do you wanna be mummy or daddy?
Langham (thinking quickly): Um, if I have to choose I think I'd rather be daddy.
Big Bubba: Okay, come here and suck mummy's cock.
Cheers,
BHB
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Kate And Gerry
in DeathList Forum
Posted
It's a difficult one, in my opinion.
Whichever side of the fence you sit on, if you come out and proclaim your views, you're gonna look like a C-word (and possibly be consumed by guilt) if the opposite scenario pans out.
Personally, I hope the little 'un turns up as safe and sound as can possibly be, given the timescale. It's every parent's worse nightmare and if they're innocent, god only knows how much more they can take. Let's just hope that they don't end up getting fitted up for something they didn't do. And if they're guilty, well, it'll be one of those things of such an infamous nature that will be the stuff of lore for years to come.
At the end of the day, I don't buy into this yellow ribbon stuff, but my thoughts are with all those concerned.
BHB