Dr_T

I say if you can't stand the heat, then stay out of the crematorium.

Seeing as Joost van der Westhuizen has managed to survive seeing the All Blacks win another World Cup, I decided to vote for Martin Crowe, which makes me a little sad. As the test series between NZ and Australia starts on Thursday, we might hear more about his health when that starts.

I voted for Joost van der Westhuisen cause he might have been holding out in the hope of seeing South Africa win another World Cup. But now that it is Australia versus NZ he might want to die so that he doesn't see either of those teams hold the William Webb Ellis Cup aloft again.

Again, taking a bit of an international perspective....if the most significant deaths of the month are a couple of ex-Chancellors of the Exchequer, it has been a pretty lean month. So to update my personal list for the year (trying my best to be objective but with natural biases due to geography and personal interests), here is my list for the year to date: January - King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia February - Leonard Nimoy March - Terry Pratchett April - Richie Benaud May - B.B. King June - Christopher Lee July - Omar Sharif August - Cilla Black September - Jackie Collins Really quite a slow year.

Is it just my imagination (or perspective), or has October been a very lean month for notable deaths?

Apologies if this has made another forum but guitarist for "The Cruel Sea", James Cruikshank has died in his early 50s from cancer. http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/the-cruel-seas-guitarist-james-cruickshank-dies-after-cancer-battle/story-fn907478-1227562716409

My lolly stick joke. I told it to my wife and she didn't get it until I changed the stress. What's grey and comes in pints? An elephant

Not good times for the Channel 9 commentary box. Frank Tyson is the 3rd to go in the space of 3 years from the 6 original commentators who were in the box from when Kerry Packer bought cricket. They were the sound of summer for me. The 3 remaining are Ian Chappell (72), Keith Stackpole (75) and Bill Lawry (78). It would be a surprise (a sad surprise for me) to see any of them go any time soon, but by all reports Frank Tyson was in good health until the end or close to it at least.

Iconic Australian sports commentator and broadcaster, Mike Gibson, has died aged 75. http://www.news.com.au/sport/legendary-sports-commentator-and-journalist-mike-gibson-dies-aged-75/story-fnaqgujp-1227540552291

A woman who was pregnant with triplets goes to the bank. The bank gets held up and the thief goes nuts and the woman gets shot three times in the stomach. She gets rushed to hospital and they find that each of the unborn babies has a bullet lodged in them but it was too tricky to operate, they would leave the bullets there and hope for the best. Miracle of miracles each of the babies (two girls and a boy) were born healthy and grew up living healthy lives until they were about 16 years old. Then one day one of the girls goes to her mother, "Mum the strangest thing just happened...I just went to the toilet and I passed a bullet." So the mother explained to the girl about the hold up all those years ago. A couple of weeks later the other girl goes to her mum, "Mum the strangest thing just happened, I just went to the toilet and I passed a bullet." So again the mother explained to her daughter about the hold up. Then a couple of weeks after that the boy goes up to his mother and says, "Mum, the strangest thing just happened." And the mother says, "Let me guess, you went to the toilet and passed a bullet. And he says, "No Mum, I just wanked and shot the dog!

The death of Jackie Collins reminded me of this one, I think it is best if we set this joke maybe about 30 years ago when Joan Collins was on Dynasty. Joan Collins goes to a plastic surgeon because she was afraid her lady bits were drooping a little too much and that some vaginaplasty would tidy her up. The doctor agreed and suggested that she has the surgery. Joan says, ok we can do it next week, but no-one can know about it, it has to be a complete secret. The doctor agreed and they did the operation. After Joan recovered they wheeled her back to her room and it was filled with bouquets of flowers. The room was full of them. She was furious because she thought the doctor had not kept her secret. She summoned him to her room and started yelling at him. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT MY SURGERY!" The doctor said, "Sorry Joan I only told one person and I had to tell him. Read this card." The card read "Hi Joan, Get Well Soon and Thanks For the Ears, Love Niki Lauda

Time for me to emerge from underneath my rock again. The recent death of Bart Cummings earns me 123 points to bring my tally to 1535. Only 480 points to go with about 120 days left in the year. Some serious carnage necessary to get over the finish line, but my little runner still with a flickering hope of crossing the finish line. Cummings was also a unique pick for me on DDP (Pity da Foolz) so 8 points there which might see me rocket into the top 100 when it is next updated.

Not death related but I thought I would this of our American members anyway. Much has been made in the Australian media of the progress that Jarred Hayne has made with the San Francisco 49érs as a kick returner/running back. The highlights of him running have been quite spectacular. But is the competition he is facing in these matches far inferior to that he would face in the main event? Even if it is I don't think you can discount his achievement. Considering that rugby league and gridiron are vastly different sports with few transferable skills, Hayne getting this far pays a great tribute to his athleticism and versatility. I was never a great fan of his as a league player but I am willing him to succeed in the NFL. Any comments from our American friends?

As has been reported in the "Hooroo Mate" forum, Arthur Morris died on Saturday aged 93. He was Australia's oldest surviving test cricketer. This mantle has now passed to Len Maddocks aged 89. I find this interesting that there is no Australian (male) test cricketer over 90 (and only 13 in their 80s). I would think this is statistically unlikely based on the life expectancy of an Australian male and the number of test cricketers (but I would need to check the maths). According to Cricinfo there are only 9 ex-test cricketers over 90, the best known being Everton Weekes. I wonder if there is any reason for cricketers having shorter lives than their cohorts. I could understand a higher rate of skin cancers for Australian cricketers of this vintage as they did not have the advantage of modern sunscreens. Arthur Morris's death also leaves Neil Harvey as the sole remaining member of the 1948 Invincibles and I think the last link to Bradman as far as test players go (looking through the list I can't see any who played against Bradman either. Cricinfo's list of oldest surviving test cricketers can be found here: http://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/records/283742.html Cheers , Dr T

Apparently not a good month for Wasim Akram. His wife Huma, dead at 42. http://www.espncricinfo.com/pakistan/content/story/431079.html

A 15 year old boy goes to confession and says "Bless me father for I have sinned" "Confess your sins to me, my child," says the priest. "Well you see father, every time I masturbate, and it's pretty often, I fantasise about my mother." "Now, now,", says the priest. "What sort of disgusting, immoral, degenerate, perverted, sick sort of boy are you, to be thinking about your mother when you do that filthy thing to yourself. And with you having such a lovely younger brother!"

Remind me, are Billy Graham or Zsa Zsa in there, cos those deaths have been lingering for ages. No neither of those on this team. The rest of the team are: Crowe, Granger, Adulyadej, Tutu, Bart Cummings, Liz Dawn, Doris Roberts, Gaynes, Schmidt, Molinaro, Brian Henderson (Aus newsreader), Mugabe, Mary Tyler Moore, Liz Smith, Zeffirelli. I think I'll get at least another 2-3 hits from that lot, but I don't particularly like my chances of getting to the required score though still cheering my little runner home (without wishing ill will to any of the above-except Mugabe of course).

With the death of Sir Nicholas Winton my deathrace marathon runner has just picked up a strong gust of second wind. 182 points x 2 (my joker) takes my tally to 1412. A couple of quick deaths may see him reach the finish.

Hi TMIB I am a first time entrant in this competition and I am impressed at just how professionally it is run and wonder about how much time it must consume. Thanks and well done. Cheers Dr T

Hi Everyone, I like this idea but it might be something best left till the end of the year. I might complete the 2015 list while I wait for my wife to get ready for a New Year's Eve party. For what it's worth here is my list up till May. Hadn't really noticed but it has been a pretty slow year, very few showstoppers on this list. Personally, the most significant of the year is Richie Benaud. January - King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia February - Leonard Nimoy March - Terry Pratchett April - Richie Benaud May - B.B. King

Can one of the founders explain George Lineker to me (1993 list).

Quite a few years ago (about 2005) I was driving back from a meeting with one of my superiors (he's a Brit and I'm a Bruce) and we were talking about English betting agencies and how they take outlandish bets at astronomical odds for a lark. I remembered how one of them took a bet of 5p to win a million pounds or similar that Lord Lucan would win next year's Wimbledon Championship after arriving at Centre Court riding Shergar. I don't remember how but we then started talking about Ronnie Biggs and my boss thought that Biggs was dead. I was pretty sure he wasn't so I googled him when I got back to my office and about the 4th or 5th hit was the deathlist. I have followed it casually since then but have followed it more closely since about 2012 when I started putting together my own shadow list. Only since I joined towards the end of last year have I fully embraced all of the peripheral deathlisting fun. My work colleagues think it's strange but are always "Did you pick so and so" etc. and my wife looks on somewhat bemused, but she gives me the odd good tip e.g. Joan Kirner. It fills in some of the quiet moments.

Alan Bond may be the next of a significant number of high profile Australians to kick the bucket this year. http://www.news.com.au/national/western-australia/wa-tycoon-alan-bond-in-intensive-care-in-perth-after-triple-bypass-heart-surgery/story-fnii5thn-1227381513730 It is no surprise that someone who has just undergone triple bypass surgery may be in intensive care, but the timbre of the article suggests that this was not expected and his condition is critical. No-one on DDP has selected Bondy-quite a miss for all of us Bruces.

As reported in the "Hooroo Mate" forum, former Victorian premier, Joan Kirner, has died. According to my calculations this is worth 213 deathrace points and brings my total to 1048. I've rounded the bend. @Mary...I might have to send the tailor around to measure you up for your T-shirt after all.

Physics Nobel Laureate, Leon Lederman, sells his gold medal to pay for medical treatment Doesn't sound like anything too urgent, but one to keep an eye on. http://www.news.com.au/technology/science/i-wish-it-could-be-different-but-hes-happy-physicists-nobel-prize-sells-for-1m/story-fn5fsgyc-1227376667048