machotrouts

INVERSE DEAD POOL 2024    Welcome to the 13th edition of the Inverse Dead Pool, the nice dead pool where you don't want your picks to die. How to play I post a list of the year's 50 most popular Derby Dead Pool picks. From this list of 50, you must pick 25 people who you think will SURVIVE the year. The premise is to AVOID picking people who will die. Rank your picks – from least likely to die to most likely to die. You receive points according to their position on your team – 25 points if your #1 pick dies, 24 points if your #2 pick dies, and so on, down to 1 point if your #25 pick dies, and 0 points if anyone you haven't picked dies. You do NOT want points. The winner is the player with the fewest points at the end of the year (Dec 31, 23.59 GMT). You may also appoint a substitute, or substitutes, in case any picks die before the submission deadline (or in case you accidentally include a name twice). If that happens, everyone in a lower position on your team moves up a place, and your top substitute is drafted in at #25. Once you have a team ready, post it in this thread. If an eligible pick dies during the submission period, then the 51st top DDP pick becomes eligible; if another dies, then the 52nd becomes eligible, etc. You may amend your team after posting it, as long as it's before the submission deadline (you might want to do this if, for example, the 51st name becomes eligible and you want to include them). If you do, make sure to post again in this thread to clarify what you've changed.  Tie break details If two or more players are tied for victory at the end of the year, the winner is whoever had the fewest points most recently (i.e. whoever had the most recent pick to die, or whoever ranked that pick higher if all tied players picked them, or whoever had the second most recent pick to die if those are the same, etc). If all tied players have the exact same hits in the exact same positions (or if they achieve a heretofore-unachieved perfect score of 0), the tie is not broken – all tied players share victory. Congratulations to our previous winners... 2023 tracy 1 point 2022 YorkshireBanker 27 points 2021 BabyBlue 25 points 2020 The Quim Reaper 34 points 2019 drol 10 points 2018 machotrouts 17 points 2017 drol 25 points 2016 Pedro67 21 points 2015 Death Impends 15 points 2014 Bibliogryphon 10 points 2013 N/A 2012 Esturian Float 4 points 2011 Garn2 15 points Thank you to our previous hosts... 2018-2021 Death Impends 2014-2017 The Dead Cow 2011-2012 Spade_Cooley Links to previous Inverse Dead Pools... 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2012-2016, 2011

Pegged It Fully June Spencer has bought the farm at the age of 105. Spencer, one of the few people surnamed "Spencer" not to have been a member of Dario G, was best known for her long-running role as wealthy farmer's wife Peggy Woolley in radio soap The Archers, which she played on-and-off since the 1950 pilot, and as a regular since 1961. She was the last remaining member of the original cast by the time she retired in 2022, aged 103. After enjoying 2 years of retirement, she embarked on a new career as the CEO of UnitedHealthcare and got shot dead in the steet. Who's affected by our Archers departure? It's a relatively fallow leaderboard update, yielding a small crop of points for @MalePoster, @maryportfuncity, @The Unknown Man, and, er, @machotrouts (she seemed fine, as far as semisupercentenarians go). More dramatically, @Pedro67 reaps the 9 points he sowed, ploughing right through the field of 20-something scores from 11th to 30th. But the worst hit is @theoldlady, who bet 18 points on the old lady. Oh no... was that you, June? GAINED TOTAL = 1. The Immortal 4 = 2. Hell 8 = 3. YoungWillz 11 = 4. ladyfiona 13 = 5. wannamaker 14 = 5. The Old Crem 14 = 7. MariNisia 16 = 7. Funeralopolis 16 = 9. Death Impends 17 ▼ 10. machotrouts +2 19 = 11. An Fear Beag 21 = 11. CastAway 21 ▲ 13. Nick 22 ▲ 14. Summer in Transylvania 23 ▲ 14. Grimgrass 23 ▲ 14. LizLemon 23 ▼ 17. The Unknown Man +3 24 ▲ 17. Clorox Bleachman 24 ▲ 17. Annami 24 ▲ 20. Toast 25 ▲ 20. arghton 25 ▲ 22. Captain Hemlock 26 ▲ 23. deadsox 28 ▲ 23. Bibliogryphon 28 ▲ 23. Joltin Joe 28 ▲ 26. Spade_Cooley 29 ▲ 26. Great Uncle Bulgaria 29 ▲ 26. Newjack 29 ▲ 26. Torva Messor 29 ▼ 30. Pedro67 +9 30 ▲ 31. Lafaucheuse 32 ▲ 32. TQR 34 = 33. maryportfuncity +2 35 ▲ 33. tracy 35 ▲ 35. Bentrovato 36 ▲ 36. Book 38 ▲ 37. Perhaps 39 ▲ 38. livingbygrace 40 ▲ 39. chilean way 41 ▼ 40. theoldlady +18 42 = 41. MortalCaso 42 = 41. Thatcher 42 = 43. Sleepiestpeep 44 = 43. CaptainChorizo 44 = 45. Famous6Eva 48 = 46. BuffaloPhil 51 = 46. diego 51 ▲ 48. En Passant 54 ▲ 49. max_bossetti 55 ▲ 50. YorkshireBanker 56 ▲ 51. Sideik 57 ▲ 51. JoeMoneypenny 57 ▼ 53. MalePoster +6 59 = 54. gcreptile 74 = 55. msc 76 = 56. GuyFromFuture 77 = 57. machotrouts' mum 91

Oh no. 19 points and an honesty award for @Captain Hemlock. Spreadsheet double-checked, and I've added together the points to confirm they now match Janey Godley's points total from the ranking at the start of the game (793), which I'll do as standard from now on. Here is the corrected leaderboard: GAINED TOTAL ▲ 1. The Immortal 4 ▲ 2. Hell 8 ▲ 3. YoungWillz 11 ▲ 4. ladyfiona +10 13 ▼ 5. wannamaker +14 14 ▼ 5. The Old Crem +14 14 ▼ 7. MariNisia +16 16 ▲ 7. Funeralopolis +4 16 ▼ 9. machotrouts +17 17 ▲ 9. Death Impends +9 17 ▼ 11. Pedro67 +21 21 ▼ 11. An Fear Beag +16 21 ▲ 11. CastAway +14 21 ▲ 11. The Unknown Man 21 ▼ 15. Nick +15 22 ▼ 16. Summer in Transylvania +22 23 ▼ 16. Grimgrass +18 23 ▲ 18. LizLemon +9 23 ▼ 19. Clorox Bleachman +18 24 ▲ 19. Annami +14 24 ▲ 21. theoldlady 24 ▼ 22. Toast +18 25 ▲ 22. arghton +13 25 ▼ 24. Captain Hemlock +19 26 ▼ 25. deadsox +23 28 ▼ 25. Bibliogryphon +22 28 ▲ 25. Joltin Joe 28 ▼ 28. Spade_Cooley +19 29 ▼ 28. Great Uncle Bulgaria +19 29 = 28. Newjack +15 29 ▲ 28. Torva Messor +6 29 ▼ 32. Lafaucheuse +21 32 ▲ 33. maryportfuncity +6 33 ▼ 34. TQR +24 34 ▼ 35. tracy +15 35 ▲ 36. Bentrovato 36 ▼ 37. Book +21 38 ▼ 38. Perhaps +22 39 ▲ 39. livingbygrace +1 40 ▲ 40. chilean way 41 ▼ 41. MortalCaso +16 42 ▲ 41. Thatcher 42 ▼ 43. Sleepiestpeep +22 44 ▼ 43. CaptainChorizo +19 44 ▼ 45. Famous6Eva +22 48 ▼ 46. BuffaloPhil +23 51 ▲ 46. diego +8 51 ▲ 48. MalePoster +10 53 ▼ 49. En Passant +16 54 ▼ 50. max_bossetti +16 55 ▼ 51. YorkshireBanker +23 56 ▼ 52. Sideik +21 57 ▼ 52. JoeMoneypenny +20 57 = 54. gcreptile +22 74 = 55. msc +23 76 = 56. GuyFromFuture +14 77 = 57. machotrouts' mum +23 91

Deadliness Is Next to Godleyness Janey Godley has died of ovarian cancer at the age of 63. Her claims to fame include a 30-year stand-up career, holding a sign that says TRUMP IS A CUNT, and dubbing Nicola Sturgeon's Covid briefings to make her threaten to stick a toe up the crack of your arse. The unexpected popularity of this niche fetish pornography resulted in the Scottish government hiring her to face a "stop the spike" campaign in 2021, exhorting people with large numbers of friends (not deadpoolers) to avoid large social gatherings. Unfortunately, this gave people more time to sit inside searching Twitter for "from:janeygodley 50 cent", and she lost her role in a Beauty and the Beast pantomime after old racist tweets resurfaced via The Daily Beast, the web's foremost news source for Beauty and the Beast-related controversies. A few months later, on the advice of her agent, she developed terminal cancer – making her a popular pick on the Derby Dead Pool – but she continued to live life to the full, touring and picking fights on Twitter – making her a popular pick on the Inverse Dead Pool. And now she's dead – making her an extremely unpopular pick on the Inverse Dead Pool. What hath Godley wrought? Our 47 Godley botherers include all 5 players who were on 0 points – @wannamaker and @The Old Crem (both now 6th place with 14 points), @MariNisia (8th with 16 points), @machotrouts (IS A CUNT), and @Pedro67 (12th with 21 points). Actually, it'll be quicker just to tag the 10 people who didn't put their faith in Godley. Congratulations to @Thatcher, @chilean way, @Bentrovato, @Joltin Joe, @theoldlady, @The Unknown Man, and especially: @YoungWillz, who moves from 20th to 4th; @Hell, who moves from 18th to 3rd; @Captain Hemlock, who moves from 14th to 2nd; and our new leader, @The Immortal, who moves from 8th to 1st. Is that your username or a description of your team? GAINED TOTAL ▲ 1. The Immortal 4 ▲ 2. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 3. Hell 8 ▲ 4. YoungWillz 11 ▲ 5. ladyfiona +10 13 ▼ 6. wannamaker +14 14 ▼ 6. The Old Crem +14 14 ▼ 8. MariNisia +16 16 ▲ 8. Funeralopolis +4 16 ▼ 10. machotrouts +17 17 ▲ 10. Death Impends +9 17 ▼ 12. Pedro67 +21 21 ▼ 12. An Fear Beag +16 21 ▲ 12. CastAway +14 21 ▲ 12. The Unknown Man 21 ▼ 16. Nick +15 22 ▼ 17. Summer in Transylvania +22 23 ▼ 17. Grimgrass +18 23 ▲ 17. LizLemon +9 23 ▼ 20. Clorox Bleachman +18 24 = 20. Annami +14 24 ▲ 20. theoldlady 24 ▼ 23. Toast +18 25 ▲ 23. arghton +13 25 ▼ 25. deadsox +23 28 ▼ 25. Bibliogryphon +22 28 ▲ 25. Joltin Joe 28 ▼ 28. Spade_Cooley +19 29 ▼ 28. Great Uncle Bulgaria +19 29 = 28. Newjack +15 29 ▲ 28. Torva Messor +6 29 ▼ 32. Lafaucheuse +21 32 ▲ 33. maryportfuncity +6 33 ▼ 34. TQR +24 34 ▼ 35. tracy +15 35 ▲ 36. Bentrovato 36 ▼ 37. Book +21 38 ▼ 38. Perhaps +22 39 ▲ 39. livingbygrace +1 40 ▲ 40. chilean way 41 ▼ 41. MortalCaso +16 42 ▲ 41. Thatcher 42 ▼ 43. Sleepiestpeep +22 44 ▼ 43. CaptainChorizo +19 44 ▼ 45. Famous6Eva +22 48 ▼ 46. BuffaloPhil +23 51 ▲ 46. diego +8 51 ▲ 48. MalePoster +10 53 ▼ 49. En Passant +16 54 ▼ 50. max_bossetti +16 55 ▼ 51. YorkshireBanker +23 56 ▼ 52. Sideik +21 57 ▼ 52. JoeMoneypenny +20 57 = 54. gcreptile +22 74 = 55. msc +23 76 = 56. GuyFromFuture +14 77 = 57. machotrouts' mum +23 91

Janey Godley Has Died... ...but I haven't updated for Bob Newhart's death yet. To be honest, I've been putting this off for months due to an annoying combination of 1: Newhart seemingly being very famous with a long illustrious career, and 2: me personally having no idea who he is. I don't mind not having heard of them when I only have a Wikipedia stub's worth of reading to do – pretty straightforward to get the gist of "Tom Smith (rugby union, born 1971)" – but having to read up on 6 decades of American TV, up to and including The Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon? Kill me. Anyway, I've finally got my act together, and here's my thoughtful, well-researched obit: Looks like Bob really will need a "New hart" now!!! You're welcome. Here are the belated scores for after Newhart's death. If you're still doing well here, relish it before I write up Janey Godley's annihilation of you. GAINED TOTAL = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 6. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 7. ladyfiona 3 ▲ 8. The Immortal +1 4 ▲ 9. Grimgrass 5 ▲ 9. deadsox 5 ▲ 9. An Fear Beag 5 ▼ 12. Clorox Bleachman +5 6 ▲ 12. Bibliogryphon 6 ▼ 14. Nick +5 7 ▲ 14. Toast 7 ▲ 14. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 14. CastAway 7 ▼ 18. Hell +7 8 ▲ 18. Death Impends 8 ▲ 20. TQR +1 10 ▲ 20. Spade_Cooley 10 ▲ 20. Great Uncle Bulgaria 10 ▲ 20. Annami 10 ▲ 20. Lafaucheuse 11 ▲ 20. YoungWillz 11 ▼ 26. Funeralopolis +5 12 ▼ 26. arghton +3 12 ▲ 28. Newjack 14 ▲ 28. LizLemon 14 ▲ 30. Perhaps 17 ▲ 30. Book 17 ▲ 32. tracy 20 ▲ 33. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 34. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▼ 35. Torva Messor +10 23 ▼ 36. theoldlady +19 24 ▲ 37. CaptainChorizo 25 = 38. Famous6Eva +3 26 ▲ 38. MortalCaso 26 ▼ 40. maryportfuncity +4 27 ▼ 41. BuffaloPhil +4 28 ▲ 41. Joltin Joe +1 28 ▲ 43. YorkshireBanker 33 = 44. Bentrovato +5 36 ▲ 44. Sideik 36 ▼ 46. JoeMoneypenny +16 37 ▼ 47. En Passant +2 38 = 48. livingbygrace 39 = 48. max_bossetti 39 ▲ 50. chilean way 41 ▼ 51. Thatcher 42 ▼ 52. MalePoster +4 43 ▲ 52. diego 43 ▲ 54. gcreptile 52 ▲ 55. msc 53 ▲ 56. GuyFromFuture 63 ▼ 57. machotrouts' mum +17 68

Shannen (Annoyed Grunt)-erty Shannen Doherty, star of Beverly Hills 55, has died at the age of 90210. Best known for being president of the United States from 1977 to 1981, she was also the 76th governor of Georgia from 1971 to 1975, a Georgia state senator from 1963 to 1967, and Prue Halliwell in Charmed from 1998 to 2001. She went on to be the longest-lived president in U.S. history, and the second longest-lived Heather in Heathers history. She survived her wife of 77 years, Rosalynn Carter, whom she divorced in 2024. She was known as the "bad girl of the peanut industry". She was notable as one of the few card-carrying Republicans in Hollywood to be a presidential candidate for the Democratic Party, and one of the few dead people to never have actually died, and in fact still be alive today. It's been 9 years since she announced she had cancer, 8 years since she announced she had 5 years left to live, 4 years since she announced she had 10-15 years left to live, and 1 year since the cancer metastized to her brain – but 23 of you felt she had at least 1 more year left, including 5 of our heretofore-0-pointers: @The Immortal (+3 points), @ladyfiona (+3), @arghton (+9), @Spade_Cooley (+10) and @Great Uncle Bulgaria (+10). Congratulations to the remaining 0-pointers who did not pick Shannen Doherty, including the one who's never heard of Shannen Doherty outside this forum and has been putting off this obit for that reason. (How can "Beverly Hills 90210" be the name of a TV show? That's a spambot Twitter username.) Congratulations also to 1-pointer @Hell for uncharacteristically sneaking into the top 10 after two consecutive years in the bottom 10 – hope you don't get cold up here. Congratulations also to my mother, who smashes into the top 54 as @gcreptile (+9) and @msc (+17) land in the bottom three with new last-placer @GuyFromFuture (+17). Maybe the power of three will set you free? GAINED TOTAL = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 ▲ 6. Clorox Bleachman 1 ▲ 6. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 6. Hell 1 ▲ 9. Nick 2 ▼ 10. The Immortal +3 3 ▼ 10. ladyfiona +3 3 ▲ 12. Grimgrass 5 ▲ 12. deadsox 5 ▲ 12. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 12. theoldlady 5 ▲ 16. Bibliogryphon 6 ▲ 17. Toast +1 7 ▲ 17. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 17. CastAway 7 ▲ 17. Funeralopolis 7 ▲ 21. Death Impends 8 ▼ 22. arghton +9 9 ▲ 22. TQR 9 ▼ 24. Spade_Cooley +10 10 ▼ 24. Great Uncle Bulgaria +10 10 ▲ 24. Annami 10 ▼ 27. Lafaucheuse +5 11 ▲ 27. YoungWillz +1 11 ▲ 29. Torva Messor 13 ▼ 30. Newjack +5 14 ▲ 30. LizLemon 14 ▼ 32. Perhaps +12 17 ▲ 32. Book 17 ▼ 34. tracy +10 20 ▲ 35. JoeMoneypenny 21 ▲ 35. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 37. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▼ 38. Famous6Eva +10 23 ▲ 38. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 40. BuffaloPhil 24 ▼ 41. CaptainChorizo +4 25 ▲ 42. MortalCaso 26 ▼ 43. Joltin Joe +12 27 ▼ 44. Bentrovato +17 31 ▼ 45. YorkshireBanker +10 33 ▲ 46. En Passant 36 ▲ 46. Sideik 36 ▼ 48. livingbygrace +9 39 ▼ 48. max_bossetti +9 39 ▼ 48. MalePoster 39 ▼ 51. chilean way +16 41 ▲ 52. Thatcher 42 ▲ 53. diego 43 ▲ 54. machotrouts' mum +2 51 ▼ 55. gcreptile +9 52 ▼ 56. msc +17 53 ▼ 57. GuyFromFuture +17 63

Glad to be able to participate this time – I wanted to in 2019, but the deadline clash with the Derby Dead Pool (and most of the other pools on the forum) made it impossible. Unfortunately, here in 2024, I still underestimated how long it'd take to research and ended up last-minute-panicking most of it. Well, looking forward to 2029. LABOUR: 1. Sir Keir Starmer 2. Diane Abbott 3. John McDonnell 4. David Lammy 5. Sir Chris Bryant 6. Mary Foy 7. Clive Efford 8. Clive Betts 9. Clive Lewis 10. Jon Trickett 11. Nadia Whittome 12. Marie Rimmer 13. Graham Stringer 14. Wes Streeting 15. Jess Phillips 16. Rushanara Ali 17. Rosie Duffield 18. Apsana Begum 19. Valerie Vaz 20. Gill Furniss 21. Dame Nia Griffith 22. Debbie Abrahams 23. Neil Coyle 24. Liam Byrne 25. Dawn Butler 26. Charlotte Nichols 27. Kate Osamor 28. Sam Carling 29. Chris Bloore 30. Luke Akehurst CONSERVATIVE: 31. Rishi Sunak 32. Richard Holden 33. Kemi Badenoch 34. Suella Braverman 35. Robert Jenrick 36. Dame Priti Patel 37. Sir Roger Gale 38. Sir David Davis 39. Sir Christopher Chope 40. Sir Edward Leigh 41. Sir Julian Lewis 42. Sir Geoffrey Clifton-Brown 43. Sir Geoffrey Cox 44. Sir John Hayes 45. Mark Pritchard 46. Mark Garnier 47. Martin Vickers 48. Mark Francois 49. Andrew Mitchell 50. Andrew Bowie LIB DEM: 51. Sir Ed Davey INDEPENDENT: 52. Jeremy Corbyn 53. Shockat Adam 54. Iqbal Mohamed 55. Adnan Hussain 56. Ayoub Khan REFORM: 57. Nigel Farage 58. Richard Tice 59. Lee Anderson 60. Rupert Lowe 61. James McMurdock DUP: 62. Gregory Campbell 63. Sammy Wilson GREEN: 64. Siân Berry TUV: 65. Jim Allister (Haven't picked anyone from the SNP, Sinn Féin, Plaid, SDLP, Alliance, or UUP.)

Decay Um Ma Ma Ma Ask not for whom the sun chymes – it chymes for Dario G. Paul Spencer has died of rectal cancer at the age of 53. Spencer originally comprised one third of dance music outfit Dario G with two fellow DJs, Scott Rosser and Stephen Spencer (no relation). Their debut single, 'Sunchyme', based on a sample of the Dream Academy's 'Life in a Northern Town', charted at #2 in the UK – behind only 'Candle in the Wind 1997', Elton John's tribute to the late Diana Spencer (no relation). They had further hits with 'Sunmachine' (based on a sample of David Bowie's 'Memory of a Free Festival'), 'Carnaval de Paris' (based on a sample of 'Oh My Darling, Clementine'), and 'Voices' (fair play, they wrote that one). In later years, Rosser and Spencer (the other one) left the trio and Spencer (this one) became known solo under the Dario G name. Spencer G had further hits with 'Dream to Me', 'Carnaval 2002', and the repetitively-titled 'Heaven Is Closer (Feels Like Heaven)'. Fate was tempted (feels like tempting fate). In 2023, G was diagnosed with cancer where the Sun don't chyme, and became one of the top 50 picks in the Carnaval de Derby. @MalePoster and @gcreptile flew too close to the Sun, scoring 20 points apiece. Not far behind with 19 is @Thatcher – insult to injury after the fall of a Tory government. @GuyFromFuture, scoring 13, leads them into the bottom six, ahead of only my ma (ma ma). On the bright side, these big falls have enabled several scoring players – namely @En Passant (8 points), @diego (7), @Sideik (5), @livingbygrace (4), and @JoeMoneypenny (4) – to have small rises up the leaderboard. It's not often you get tagged to be congratulated on failing up. Three more players lose their perfect zero: @Grimgrass (5 points), @Toast (6), and @TQR (9). Ten players are still enjoying life in a northern leaderboard position. GAINED TOTAL = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 ▲ 11. Clorox Bleachman 1 ▲ 11. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 11. Hell 1 ▲ 14. Nick 2 ▼ 15. Grimgrass +5 5 = 15. deadsox +4 5 ▲ 15. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 15. Perhaps 5 ▲ 15. theoldlady 5 ▼ 20. Toast +6 6 ▲ 20. Bibliogryphon 6 ▲ 20. Lafaucheuse 6 ▲ 23. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 23. CastAway 7 ▲ 23. Funeralopolis 7 ▼ 26. Death Impends +5 8 ▼ 27. TQR +9 9 ▲ 27. Newjack 9 ▲ 29. YoungWillz 10 ▲ 29. Annami 10 ▲ 29. tracy 10 ▲ 32. Famous6Eva 13 ▲ 32. Torva Messor 13 ▲ 34. Bentrovato 14 ▲ 34. LizLemon 14 ▲ 36. Joltin Joe 15 ▼ 37. Book +9 17 ▼ 38. CaptainChorizo +8 21 ▲ 38. JoeMoneypenny +4 21 ▲ 38. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 41. Sleepiestpeep 22 = 42. YorkshireBanker +1 23 ▲ 42. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 44. BuffaloPhil 24 ▲ 45. chilean way 25 ▲ 46. MortalCaso 26 ▲ 47. livingbygrace +4 30 ▲ 47. max_bossetti 30 ▲ 49. En Passant +8 36 ▲ 49. Sideik +5 36 ▲ 49. msc 36 ▼ 52. MalePoster +20 39 ▼ 53. Thatcher +19 42 ▼ 54. gcreptile +20 43 ▲ 54. diego +7 43 ▼ 56. GuyFromFuture +13 46 = 57. machotrouts' mum 49

Wildlife DOA (Wildlife) Simon Cowell has died of cancer at the age of 72. Presciently christened "(Wildlife)" by his parents in 1952 – preempting any possibility of his being confused with the talent show judge Simon Cowell – he grew up to lend his name to the charity "Wildlife Aid" and the TV show "Wildlife SOS", which he hosted for 18 years. He was even appointed an MBE in 2005 for "services to wildlife", so he must have looked after himself. Nevertheless, (Wildlife) was diagnosed with an aggressive lung cancer in 2022. Whoever's responsible for disambiguating names in the Derby Dead Pool was diagnosed with an aggressive headache shortly after. (Wildlife) was also known for his profanity, with Wildlife Aid patron and cunt Ricky Gervais once describing him as "David Attenborough with Tourette's". An Inverse Dead Pool stalwart himself, David Attenborough is now described as "(Wildlife) Simon Cowell with a pulse". (Wildlife) Simon Cowell was certainly the less popular pick of the two, causing mild strife for @MortalCaso (1 point), @Sideik (2), @JoeMoneypenny (5), and @Captain Hemlock (5). But one player is sending out an SOS: @chilean way (12), who's dug down from 1st to 48th in just two updates. Named after the miners, perhaps? GAINED TOTAL = 1. TQR 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 = 14. Clorox Bleachman 1 = 15. deadsox 1 = 15. Summer in Transylvania 1 = 15. Hell 1 = 18. Nick 2 ▲ 19. Death Impends 3 ▲ 20. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 20. Perhaps 5 ▲ 20. theoldlady 5 ▲ 23. Bibliogryphon 6 ▲ 23. Lafaucheuse 6 ▼ 25. Captain Hemlock +5 7 ▲ 25. CastAway 7 ▲ 25. Funeralopolis 7 = 28. Book 8 ▲ 29. Newjack 9 ▼ 30. YoungWillz +2 10 ▲ 30. Annami 10 ▲ 30. tracy 10 ▲ 33. CaptainChorizo 13 ▲ 33. Famous6Eva 13 ▲ 33. Torva Messor 13 ▲ 36. Bentrovato 14 ▲ 36. LizLemon 14 ▲ 38. Joltin Joe 15 ▼ 39. JoeMoneypenny +5 17 ▲ 40. MalePoster 19 ▲ 41. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 42. YorkshireBanker 22 ▲ 42. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▲ 44. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 44. Thatcher 23 ▲ 44. gcreptile 23 ▲ 47. BuffaloPhil 24 ▼ 48. chilean way +12 25 = 49. MortalCaso +1 26 ▲ 49. livingbygrace 26 = 51. En Passant 28 ▲ 52. max_bossetti 30 ▼ 53. Sideik +2 31 = 54. GuyFromFuture 33 = 55. msc 36 = 55. diego 36 = 57. machotrouts' mum 49

To Kill a Hooker Rugby league player Rob Burrow has died at the age of 41. Noted for his relatively diminutive height – at the last measurement, minus six feet tall – Burrow played for 18 years with the Leeds Rhinos, with whom he won eight Super League championships, and also played for England, Great Britain, and Yorkshire, which probably makes sense to people who follow sport outside of paraphrasing Wikipedia articles for obits. He was diagnosed with motor neurone disease in December 2019, so at least he had something to distract him from the last two general election campaigns. In his final years, he raised over £6 million for MND awareness. Going by his popularity with deadpoolers, it paid off. Unfortunately, 8 Inverse Dead Pool players misheard about his MND and thought he was on the mend. This includes 3 players who were in the 0-point scrum: @Clorox Bleachman, now on 1; @Captain Hemlock, now on 2; and @chilean way, who burrows down to the bottom half of the leaderboard with 13 points. 13 players – a rugby team's worth, as it happens – remain on 0. I wonder which of us is the hooker? GAINED TOTAL = 1. TQR 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 ▼ 14. Clorox Bleachman +1 1 ▲ 15. deadsox 1 ▲ 15. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 15. Hell 1 ▼ 18. Captain Hemlock +2 2 ▲ 18. Nick 2 ▲ 20. Death Impends 3 ▲ 21. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 21. Perhaps 5 ▲ 21. theoldlady 5 ▲ 24. Bibliogryphon 6 ▲ 24. Lafaucheuse 6 ▲ 26. CastAway 7 ▲ 26. Funeralopolis 7 ▲ 28. YoungWillz 8 ▲ 28. Book 8 ▲ 30. Newjack 9 = 31. Annami +1 10 ▲ 31. tracy 10 ▲ 33. JoeMoneypenny 12 ▼ 34. chilean way +13 13 ▲ 34. CaptainChorizo 13 ▲ 34. Famous6Eva 13 ▲ 34. Torva Messor 13 ▲ 38. Bentrovato 14 ▲ 38. LizLemon 14 ▼ 40. Joltin Joe +4 15 ▲ 41. MalePoster 19 ▲ 42. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 43. YorkshireBanker 22 ▲ 43. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▲ 45. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 45. Thatcher 23 ▲ 45. gcreptile 23 ▼ 48. BuffaloPhil +6 24 ▲ 49. MortalCaso 25 ▼ 50. livingbygrace +7 26 = 51. En Passant 28 = 52. Sideik 29 = 53. max_bossetti 30 = 54. GuyFromFuture 33 = 55. msc 36 = 55. diego 36 = 57. machotrouts' mum +1 49

This Field Cannot Be Left Frank Frank Field, the Birkenhead Social Justice Party MP for Birkenhead from 2019 to 2019 – also previously known for his brief 40-year stint as a Labour MP – has died of prostate cancer at the age of 81. A small-c conservative who was repeatedly courted for a potential defection by the big-C Conservatives – a party he was a member of in his youth – Field was considered a "maverick" and "independent thinker" in the Labour Party. He advocated for the return of national service, proposed further restrictions on immigration and abortion, denounced Jeremy Corbyn as a "force for anti-Semitism in British politics", featured on the Telegraph's list of the UK's "100 most influential Right-wingers", and was personal friends with Enoch Powell and Margaret Thatcher – all the usual signifiers of a Labour MP – but also, uncharacteristically for his party, campaigned against child poverty. Thankfully, he left before Starmer had to suspend him for these extreme left-wing beliefs. Despite being the 13th least picked candidate in the Inverse Dead Pool 2024, things were on the uptick for him – he was the 11th least picked in 2023, and the least picked outright in 2022, the year after he first checked into hospice care. I look forward to writing Jimmy Carter's obit in 2026. Former Inverse champions @Bibliogryphon and @YorkshireBanker are among the few who fielded Field as a candidate, but they only risked a respective 2 and 3 points on it. Someone whose chances have been levelled by playing Field, with 15 points, is @GuyFromFuture. Frankly, I'm beginning to think you aren't really from the future at all. Much like Frank when he went for his prostate exam 10 years ago, we have movement at the bottom. With my mum's team mainly being whoever she doesn't want to die, I have an outsize influence on her picks in the short descriptions I give of people she isn't really familiar with – "Frank Field, Labour MP" got 14 points, but if I'd described him as "Frank Field, hardline Brexiteer", it'd probably be 0. So, arguably, I'm responsible for her taking back last place. You're welcome, @diego. GAINED TOTAL = 1. TQR 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. Captain Hemlock 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. chilean way 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. Clorox Bleachman 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 = 17. deadsox 1 = 17. Summer in Transylvania 1 = 17. Hell 1 = 20. Nick 2 = 21. Death Impends 3 ▲ 22. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 22. Perhaps 5 ▲ 22. theoldlady 5 ▼ 25. Bibliogryphon +2 6 ▲ 25. Lafaucheuse 6 = 27. CastAway 7 = 27. Funeralopolis 7 ▲ 29. YoungWillz 8 ▲ 29. Book 8 ▼ 31. Newjack +2 9 ▲ 31. Annami 9 = 33. tracy 10 = 34. Joltin Joe 11 = 35. JoeMoneypenny 12 = 36. CaptainChorizo 13 = 36. Famous6Eva 13 = 36. Torva Messor 13 = 39. Bentrovato 14 = 39. LizLemon 14 = 41. BuffaloPhil 18 ▲ 42. livingbygrace 19 ▲ 42. MalePoster 19 ▲ 44. The Unknown Man 21 ▼ 45. YorkshireBanker +3 22 ▲ 45. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▲ 47. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 47. Thatcher 23 ▲ 47. gcreptile 23 ▲ 50. MortalCaso 25 ▲ 51. En Passant 28 ▲ 52. Sideik 29 ▲ 53. max_bossetti 30 ▼ 54. GuyFromFuture +15 33 ▼ 55. msc +8 36 ▲ 55. diego 36 ▼ 57. machotrouts' mum +14 48

Grave Pyres Celebrity chef Dave Myers has died of cancer at the age of 66. Best known as half of the "Hairy Bikers" – for Americans on the forum, that's basically the British version of Sons of Anarchy – along with Si King, he presented 37 different shows over 20 years; 34 of which had "Hairy" in the title, and 31 "Bikers". Non-fans of food/hair/cancer may also remember him for his lovably hapless run on series 11 of Strictly Come Dancing. Despite lasting several weeks in the contest, he remains Karen Hauer's worst-scoring partner, with an average score of 18.3 – narrowly followed by fellow celebrity chef Simon Rimmer on 18.5. Myers also has the honour of being the 1st member of the series 11 cast to die – narrowly followed by Tony Jacklin (2025, lymphoma), Sophie Ellis-Bextor (2026, murdered on the dancefloor), and Rachel Riley (2027, IDF friendly fire incident). It looks like 27 Inverse Dead Pool players saw him in those Knorr ads, thought "well, he's not dead there", and put him on their teams. One player who put too much stock in him is @maryportfuncity, who earns 23 points – the same total that Dave and Karen got for their highest-scoring Strictly dance, a waltz to 'Take It to the Limit' by the Eagles. Also taking it to the limit is @The Unknown Man, who gets 21 points – perhaps he didn't know which man he was picking? Things are also looking hairy for two 18-pointers: @BuffaloPhil (as seen dreading this update above), and my mother, whose tactic of allocating points on the basis of "aw, he seems nice" sees her back in the running for last place, with a total of 34 points. However, between this and Toby Keith, former 3rd-placer @diego is badly led astray by his apparent faith in celebrities being well enough to keep doing their jobs: 19 points on Myers takes him to a total of 36. GAINED TOTAL = 1. TQR 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. Captain Hemlock 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. chilean way 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. Clorox Bleachman 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 ▼ 17. deadsox +1 1 ▲ 17. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 17. Hell 1 ▼ 20. Nick +2 2 ▼ 21. Death Impends +3 3 ▼ 22. Bibliogryphon +4 4 ▼ 23. An Fear Beag +5 5 ▲ 23. Perhaps +2 5 ▲ 23. theoldlady 5 ▼ 26. Lafaucheuse +6 6 ▼ 27. Newjack +7 7 ▲ 27. CastAway +1 7 ▲ 27. Funeralopolis 7 ▼ 30. YoungWillz +8 8 ▲ 30. Book 8 ▲ 32. Annami 9 ▲ 33. tracy +1 10 ▲ 34. Joltin Joe 11 ▼ 35. JoeMoneypenny +12 12 ▲ 36. CaptainChorizo 13 ▲ 36. Famous6Eva 13 ▲ 36. Torva Messor 13 ▼ 39. Bentrovato +14 14 ▼ 39. LizLemon +8 14 ▼ 41. BuffaloPhil +18 18 ▲ 41. GuyFromFuture 18 ▲ 43. livingbygrace 19 ▲ 43. YorkshireBanker 19 ▲ 43. MalePoster 19 ▼ 46. The Unknown Man +21 21 ▲ 47. Sleepiestpeep +2 22 ▼ 48. maryportfuncity +23 23 ▲ 48. Thatcher +3 23 ▲ 48. gcreptile 23 ▼ 51. MortalCaso +6 25 ▼ 52. msc +16 28 ▼ 52. En Passant +9 28 ▼ 54. Sideik +11 29 ▼ 55. max_bossetti +13 30 ▼ 56. machotrouts' mum +18 34 ▼ 57. diego +19 36

Grave is the Best Receptacle American country star Toby Keith, known for hits such as "American Soldier", "American Ride", "Made in America", "Drunk Americans", "Happy Birthday America", "America the Beautiful", "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)", and "Live Introduction by Toby of Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)", has died of Americancer at the age of America. An Inverse Dead Pool 2024 debutante, he was a natural fit among some familiar faces, including Donald Trump, for whom he performed at the "Make America Great Again! Welcome Celebration"; Willie Nelson, with whom he recorded the song "Beer for My Horses" and starred in the film "Beer for My Horses"; and Janey Godley, with whom he feuded during her spell in the Dixie Chicks. So who shouldn't've picked a cowboy? Players were almost evenly split between Toby or Not Toby – a divide in attitudes between "well, he's still performing" and "yeah, but looking like that". Among those on the losing side of that divide are 2023 Inverse Dead Pool champion @tracy, who gains 9 points – which, sadly, is 8 more than their 2023 winning score – and returning 2022 Inverse Dead Pool champion @YorkshireBanker, who gains 19 points – which, happily, is 8 less than their 2022 winning score. In fact, all of last year's top 5 have points raining down on them: @LizLemon (6 points), @Perhaps (3), @diego (17), and @gcreptile, who gets the biggest boot in the ass of all – 23 points, and my mum's last place spot. You ain't as good as you once was. GAINED TOTAL = 1. TQR 0 = 1. Death Impends 0 = 1. Bibliogryphon 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. Captain Hemlock 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. BuffaloPhil 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. chilean way 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. Nick 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. YoungWillz 0 = 1. The Unknown Man 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Newjack 0 = 1. deadsox 0 = 1. JoeMoneypenny 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. Bentrovato 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. Clorox Bleachman 0 = 1. An Fear Beag 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 = 1. maryportfuncity 0 = 1. Lafaucheuse 0 ▼ 30. Summer in Transylvania +1 1 ▼ 30. Hell +1 1 ▼ 32. Perhaps +3 3 ▼ 33. theoldlady +5 5 ▼ 34. LizLemon +6 6 ▼ 34. CastAway +6 6 ▼ 36. Funeralopolis +7 7 ▼ 37. Book +8 8 ▼ 38. Annami +9 9 ▼ 38. tracy +9 9 ▼ 40. Joltin Joe +11 11 ▼ 41. msc +12 12 ▼ 42. CaptainChorizo +13 13 ▼ 42. Famous6Eva +13 13 ▼ 42. Torva Messor +13 13 ▲ 45. machotrouts' mum 16 ▼ 46. max_bossetti +17 17 ▼ 46. diego +17 17 ▼ 48. GuyFromFuture +18 18 ▼ 48. Sideik +18 18 ▼ 50. livingbygrace +19 19 ▼ 50. YorkshireBanker +19 19 ▼ 50. MalePoster +19 19 ▼ 50. En Passant +19 19 ▼ 50. MortalCaso +19 19 ▼ 55. Thatcher +20 20 ▼ 55. Sleepiestpeep +20 20 ▼ 57. gcreptile +23 23

Lost Property Jonnie Irwin, known for hosting real estate shows such as A Place in the Sun and Escape to the Country, has fallen off the property ladder at the age of 50. A presenter of various lifestyle shows before life ceased to be his style, he became home to a tumour in 2020. Originally consigned to A Place in the Lung, the cancer ultimately decided to expand its portfolio and move abroad to other organs. Did anyone actually pick him? Well... This is an Ir-win for 56 of you, but an Ir-loss for my mother, who gains 16 points. Obviously a huge upset for our top seed. GAINED TOTAL = 1. CaptainChorizo 0 = 1. livingbygrace 0 = 1. TQR 0 = 1. YorkshireBanker 0 = 1. Death Impends 0 = 1. Funeralopolis 0 = 1. Bibliogryphon 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. msc 0 = 1. Captain Hemlock 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. BuffaloPhil 0 = 1. Thatcher 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. chilean way 0 = 1. gcreptile 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. Nick 0 = 1. Famous6Eva 0 = 1. Summer in Transylvania 0 = 1. MalePoster 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. YoungWillz 0 = 1. Hell 0 = 1. The Unknown Man 0 = 1. Perhaps 0 = 1. LizLemon 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Newjack 0 = 1. deadsox 0 = 1. Torva Messor 0 = 1. JoeMoneypenny 0 = 1. Book 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. Bentrovato 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. Annami 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Sleepiestpeep 0 = 1. theoldlady 0 = 1. En Passant 0 = 1. max_bossetti 0 = 1. diego 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. GuyFromFuture 0 = 1. Sideik 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. Clorox Bleachman 0 = 1. MortalCaso 0 = 1. An Fear Beag 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 = 1. tracy 0 = 1. maryportfuncity 0 = 1. Joltin Joe 0 = 1. CastAway 0 = 1. Lafaucheuse 0 ▼ 57. machotrouts' mum +16 16

Before I get on with the actual updates, I've got one more stats post for you. First of all, here's the average points per team each celebrity received: 1 Joe Biden 21.70 2 Donald Trump 20.54 3 Michael J. Fox 18.72 4 Andy Taylor 17.40 5 Billy Connolly 15.81 6 Clint Eastwood 15.75 7 William Shatner 15.44 8 Ozzy Osbourne 15.32 9 Buzz Aldrin 14.05 10 Janey Godley 13.91 11 Phil Collins 13.07 12 Bruce Willis 12.40 13 Dick van Dyke 11.77 14 Robert Wagner 10.47 15 Prunella Scales 9.37 16 Pope Francis 9.19 16 Rupert Murdoch 9.19 18 David Attenborough 8.19 19 Willie Nelson 7.93 20 Mel Brooks 7.32 21 Tim Bilton 6.60 22 Toby Keith 6.05 23 Yoko Ono 4.51 24 Dave Myers 4.09 25 Erik Jensen 3.86 26 Shannen Doherty 3.53 27 Linda Nolan 3.21 28 Paul Spencer 2.58 29 Cleo Laine 2.47 30 Denis Law 2.12 31 Bob Newhart 1.96 32 Dennis Skinner 1.93 33 Patrick Murray 1.77 34 Roberta Flack 1.58 35 Eva Marie Saint 1.44 36 Theo Burrell 1.35 37 Stanley Baxter 1.23 38 Frank Caprio 1.19 38 Frank Field 0.77 40 June Spencer 0.70 41 Esther Rantzen 0.68 42 James Whale 0.65 43 Michael Tilson Thomas 0.63 44 Rob Burrow 0.61 45 Joanne Woodward 0.51 46 Nigel Starmer-Smith 0.49 47 (Wildlife) Simon Cowell 0.47 48 Jonnie Irwin 0.28 49 Noam Chomsky 0.14 50 Jimmy Carter 0.02 51 Steve McMichael 0.00 Using these numbers, I've calculated all of your most outlying opinions. In the table below is an alphabetical list of Inverse Dead Pool 2024 players. Next to each player, there are two celebrities, each with two numbers in brackets – the first number is the number of points the player has assigned that celebrity, and the second number is the gap between that number and the celebrity's average points value. The celebrity on the left is the celebrity whose points from that player are farthest ABOVE the celebrity's average points value (i.e. the celebrity whose survival that player is most disproportionately invested in). The celebrity on the right is the celebrity whose points (or lack thereof) from that player are farthest BELOW the celebrity's average points value (i.e. the celebrity whose death would probably be most beneficial to that player). This player... Is relatively confident in... And relatively wary of... An Fear Beag Yoko Ono (13, +8.49) Buzz Aldrin (3, -11.05) Annami Cleo Laine (19, +16.53) William Shatner (0, -15.44) arghton Bruce Willis (22, +9.6) Dick van Dyke (4, -7.77) Bentrovato Nigel Starmer-Smith (21, +20.51) Joe Biden (0, -21.7) Bibliogryphon Robert Wagner (23, +12.53) Ozzy Osbourne (6, -9.32) Book Robert Wagner (20, +9.53) David Attenborough (0, -8.19) BuffaloPhil Dave Myers (18, +13.91) Bruce Willis (0, -12.4) Captain Hemlock Bruce Willis (22, +9.6) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77) CaptainChorizo Buzz Aldrin (24, +9.95) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77) CastAway Mel Brooks (21, +13.68) Billy Connolly (5, -10.81) chilean way Pope Francis (25, +15.81) Janey Godley (0, -13.91) Clorox Bleachman Prunella Scales (22, +12.63) Phil Collins (6, -7.07) deadsox Tim Bilton (20, +13.4) Phil Collins (0, -13.07) Death Impends Phil Collins (21, +7.93) Willie Nelson (0, -7.93) diego Frank Caprio (20, +18.81) Andy Taylor (0, -17.4) En Passant Toby Keith (19, +12.95) Dick van Dyke (1, -10.77) Famous6Eva Erik Jensen (23, +19.14) Phil Collins (0, -13.07) Funeralopolis Phil Collins (22, +8.93) Janey Godley (4, -9.91) gcreptile Erik Jensen (24, +20.14) Michael J. Fox (0, -18.72) Great Uncle Bulgaria Yoko Ono (16, +11.49) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77) Grimgrass Robert Wagner (17, +6.53) Rupert Murdoch (3, -6.19) GuyFromFuture Tim Bilton (23, +16.4) Ozzy Osbourne (1, -14.32) Hell Pope Francis (23, +13.81) Janey Godley (0, -13.91) JoeMoneypenny Tim Bilton (22, +15.4) Donald Trump (2, -18.54) Joltin Joe Linda Nolan (14, +10.79) Janey Godley (0, -13.91) ladyfiona Yoko Ono (17, +12.49) Buzz Aldrin (0, -14.05) Lafaucheuse Frank Caprio (12, +10.81) Willie Nelson (0, -7.93) livingbygrace Willie Nelson (22, +14.07) Janey Godley (1, -12.91) LizLemon Phil Collins (21, +7.93) Buzz Aldrin (5, -9.05) machotrouts Erik Jensen (14, +10.14) Willie Nelson (0, -7.93) machotrouts' mum Dennis Skinner (25, +23.07) Donald Trump (0, -20.54) MalePoster Paul Spencer (20, +17.42) Ozzy Osbourne (0, -15.32) MariNisia Erik Jensen (21, +17.14) Clint Eastwood (0, -15.75) maryportfuncity Dave Myers (23, +18.91) Donald Trump (8, -12.54) max_bossetti Linda Nolan (20, +16.79) Robert Wagner (0, -10.47) MortalCaso Toby Keith (19, +12.95) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77) msc Shannen Doherty (17, +13.47) Joe Biden (0, -21.7) Newjack Phil Collins (23, +9.93) Mel Brooks (0, -7.32) Nick Ozzy Osbourne (22, +6.68) David Attenborough (0, -8.19) Pedro67 Denis Law (16, +13.88) Bruce Willis (0, -12.4) Perhaps Shannen Doherty (12, +8.47) Pope Francis (0, -9.19) Sideik Toby Keith (18, +11.95) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77) Sleepiestpeep Toby Keith (20, +13.95) Robert Wagner (0, -10.47) Spade_Cooley Tim Bilton (18, +11.4) Billy Connolly (0, -15.81) Summer in Transylvania Ozzy Osbourne (25, +9.68) Bruce Willis (7, -5.4) Thatcher Paul Spencer (19, +16.42) Janey Godley (0, -13.91) The Immortal Dennis Skinner (12, +10.07) Janey Godley (0, -13.91) The Old Crem Tim Bilton (16, +9.4) Phil Collins (0, -13.07) The Unknown Man Dave Myers (21, +16.91) Janey Godley (0, -13.91) theoldlady June Spencer (18, +17.3) Joe Biden (0, -21.7) Toast Dennis Skinner (9, +7.07) Rupert Murdoch (0, -9.19) Torva Messor Rupert Murdoch (25, +15.81) Donald Trump (0, -20.54) TQR Janey Godley (24, +10.09) Bruce Willis (4, -8.4) tracy Linda Nolan (23, +19.79) William Shatner (4, -11.44) wannamaker Rupert Murdoch (16, +6.81) Toby Keith (0, -6.05) YorkshireBanker Theo Burrell (17, +15.65) Donald Trump (5, -15.54) YoungWillz Pope Francis (23, +13.81) Donald Trump (0, -20.54)

Dave Myers makes me 3 updates behind – been too busy to update this month (with another game I've been running on another forum! Infidelity!) but I'll sort it out soon.

I'll accept @Lafaucheuse as I hadn't definitively declared submissions closed with a post that says "submissions are definitely now closed", but submissions are definitely now closed. Here's our complete list of Inverse Dead Pool 2024 candidates, ranked by the total number of points we've all banked on them, with a second column for how many teams they're on (out of a total 57). I've colour-coded the 51 names – the top slightly-less-than-half in green, and the bottom slightly-more-than-half in red. TOTAL POINTS # OF TEAMS 1 Joe Biden 1237 54 2 Donald Trump 1171 53 3 Michael J. Fox 1067 56 4 Andy Taylor 992 55 5 Billy Connolly 906 56 6 Clint Eastwood 898 53 7 William Shatner 880 53 8 Ozzy Osbourne 873 53 9 Buzz Aldrin 801 56 10 Janey Godley 793 48 11 Phil Collins 745 49 12 Bruce Willis 707 50 13 Dick van Dyke 671 51 14 Robert Wagner 597 47 15 Prunella Scales 534 51 16 Pope Francis 524 47 16 Rupert Murdoch 524 48 18 David Attenborough 467 47 19 Willie Nelson 452 43 20 Mel Brooks 417 38 21 Tim Bilton 376 35 22 Toby Keith 345 27 23 Yoko Ono 257 27 24 Dave Myers 233 26 25 Erik Jensen 220 21 26 Shannen Doherty 201 23 27 Linda Nolan 183 25 28 Paul Spencer 147 17 29 Cleo Laine 141 23 30 Denis Law 121 18 31 Dennis Skinner 110 18 32 Bob Newhart 107 17 33 Patrick Murray 101 14 34 Roberta Flack 90 12 35 Eva Marie Saint 82 22 36 Theo Burrell 77 8 37 Stanley Baxter 70 14 38 Frank Caprio 68 7 39 Frank Field 44 6 40 June Spencer 40 6 41 Esther Rantzen 39 8 42 James Whale 37 12 43 Michael Tilson Thomas 36 5 44 Rob Burrow 35 8 45 Joanne Woodward 29 4 46 Nigel Starmer-Smith 28 4 47 (Wildlife) Simon Cowell 27 6 48 Jonnie Irwin 16 1 49 Noam Chomsky 8 2 50 Jimmy Carter 1 1 51 Steve McMichael 0 0 Stop the count! Joe Biden defeats Donald Trump in the 2024 popular vote. A reassuring show of faith in American democracy that we don't all think the two presumptive main party candidates will be literally dead by election day. Michael J. Fox has a healthy debut at #3, and Andy Taylor at #4 must be one of the biggest rises in Inverse Dead Pool history (I'm not checking) – he was #35 last year. Also, Billy Connolly at #5 was picked by literally every player other than my mum, and she only didn't pick him because she doesn't find him funny. Not a single one of us picked Steve McMichael this year – he's the Inverse Dead Pool's first unanimous snub since Rush Limbaugh in 2021. On the bright side, the last place celebrity in 2023 was James Whale (who is now #42) and 2022 was Frank Field (now #38), so – congratulations Mr McMichael, looks like it's all uphill from here. Also near the bottom is DDP #1 Jimmy Carter with exactly 1 point, donated by @JoeMoneypenny; Noam Chomsky has 4 points apiece from @Bentrovato and @Annami; and all 16 of Jonnie Irwin's points came from my mum – she didn't know who he was, but when I told her, she said "oh, I like A Place in the Sun. He can live".

Here's machotrouts' team (that's machotrouts' mum's son, if you're not familiar with him): 1. Michael J. Fox 2. Ozzy Osbourne 3. Billy Connolly 4. William Shatner 5. Donald Trump 6. Joe Biden 7. Phil Collins 8. Clint Eastwood 9. Janey Godley 10. Dick Van Dyke 11. Buzz Aldrin 12. Erik Jensen 13. Mel Brooks 14. Andy Taylor 15. Tim Bilton 16. Rupert Murdoch 17. Prunella Scales 18. Denis Law 19. Bruce Willis 20. David Attenborough 21. Robert Wagner 22. Pope Francis 23. Eva Marie Saint 24. June Spencer 25. Dennis Skinner SUBSTITUTES: Willie Nelson, Bob Newhart, Patrick Murray

Everyone else (including me) – you have about 19 hours left to submit a team.

As usual, I'm posting this on behalf of a valued Inverse Dead Pool regular – it's the 2024 machotrouts' mum team: Dennis Skinner Michael J. Fox Janey Godley Joe Biden Yoko Ono Phil Collins Robert Wagner Dave Myers Bob Newhart Jonnie Irwin Buzz Aldrin Frank Field Bruce Willis Dick van Dyke Esther Rantzen William Shatner Joanne Woodward Mel Brooks Andy Taylor Prunella Scales Linda Nolan Roberta Flack Eva Marie Saint Shannen Doherty Rob Burrow SUB: June Spencer As scientific as all of her previous teams. Dennis Skinner is #1 because "aww, he was my nan & granddad's MP, I'm not having him dying".

Couple of problems here: - You've got two Bruce Willises. You're only allowed one Bruce Willis. - Sandy Gall is not one of the 51 playable celebrities! Thankfully, you've got two substitutes, so your team is still usable. (By default, I'll remove Sandy and the lower of the two Bruces, shunt everyone else up, and add the subs in at the bottom, but you can amend the team yourself if you want.) This (hopefully) won't matter, but since I'm on a proofreading kick: you've got Tim Bilton at #22 and as your second sub.

^ Facepalm this post all you like, the rest of us are going to look very silly indeed if these are all still alive next year.

A pick for my "Special:RandomInCategory/Living_people" DDP theme team this year – the unceremoniousness of his retirement caught my eye. His blog/column abruptly stopped in Nov 2022, no final column to wrap things up, before the media went "oh he retired btw" in Jan 2023. (I just tried to check his site to confirm my memory, and it's gone down since I visited last month.) Looking again now, I see I missed a one-off column he did promoting Ron DeSantis in Mar 2023 (not published on his site). He'll probably outlive that candidacy, at least.

Additional notes: Glynis Johns, Derek Draper, and Franz Beckenbauer are also in this year's DDP top 50 – but as they've already died, they are not in play, on the basis that dead people are typically precluded from surviving the year. The above names are the top 50 (+1) still alive as of the Inverse Dead Pool starting line.  The top name not currently in play, at #52, is Vladimir Putin. As there are already 51 names in play, he won't be subbed in unless 2 more of our eligible celebrities die during the submission period.

YOUR ELIGIBLE PICKS ARE HERE: Jimmy Carter Jonnie Irwin Esther Rantzen James Whale Shannen Doherty Rob Burrow Linda Nolan Frank Field Dick van Dyke Steve McMichael Bruce Willis Nigel Starmer-Smith Yoko Ono (Wildlife) Simon Cowell Prunella Scales David Attenborough Roberta Flack Andy Taylor Michael Tilson Thomas Mel Brooks Billy Connolly Theo Burrell Noam Chomsky Joanne Woodward Toby Keith Patrick Murray Clint Eastwood Denis Law Buzz Aldrin Eva Marie Saint Willie Nelson Phil Collins Tim Bilton Ozzy Osbourne Stanley Baxter Pope Francis Bob Newhart Janey Godley Rupert Murdoch June Spencer Cleo Laine Paul Spencer William Shatner Donald Trump Michael J. Fox Erik Jensen Dave Myers Robert Wagner Frank Caprio Joe Biden Dennis Skinner (NB: Joe Biden and Dennis Skinner are the joint 50th most popular DDP pick of the year. Even though I'm sure we've all had recurring fantasies about the two of them being doused in oil and wrestling it out, I'm not tie-breaking them – you simply have 51 names to pick from.) Submissions are open. Select and rank 25 of the above names to survive 2024, and post your teams in this thread. The deadline to submit a team is Tuesday, January 23, 23.59 (GMT) – a little over a week from now.