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machotrouts

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About machotrouts

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    Hatchet man

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  1. machotrouts

    Strictly Come Dancing

    Furious with Rylan Clark-Neal for blemishing the last bastion of quality TV, "Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two" with Zoe Ball
  2. machotrouts

    The Dead of 2019

    Rumba box and maraca player of mento group The Jolly Boys since 1956, Derrick 'Jonny' Henry (or Derrick "Johnny" Henry, or Henry Derrick, depending on what site you're looking at) died last month at the age of 79. The last surviving member of what is often considered their "original" line-up (though they date back to 1945 in some form or another), and, I suppose, the longest-serving Jolly Boy. Here's a report of his funeral in the Jamaica Observer a couple of days ago: https://www.jamaicaobserver.com/entertainment/jolly-boy-jonny-s-funeral-today_161526 Bandmate Joseph "Powda" Bennett, who died in 2014, got what would have been a qualifying obit for Derby Dead Pool purposes at the time, but no sign of that for Derrick. This would make him my second DDP pick this year to join the List of the Lost after The Floaters' Larry Cunningham. I like to think it's sort of an achievement in itself that I manage to repeatedly pick overly obscure people for a strict theme team of UK #1 hitmakers. (The Jolly Boys were part of the "Commonwealth Band", of "Gary Barlow and the Commonwealth Band – Sing" notoriety.)
  3. machotrouts

    Rumours

    Somewhere in his feed of Brexit slurry, Mike Stock can be found acknowledging Jason John's apparent death: The earliest tweet about it seems to be this rando from January (!): I appreciate that Big Fun aren't exactly the Jacksons in the boy band fame stakes, but are they really member-died-three-months-ago-and-nobody-noticed obscure? The press certainly weren't shy about covering the one who got arrested for chemsexing last year.
  4. machotrouts

    The Dead of 2019

    That is a sharp drop-off. He was still tweeting plans for future music releases less than 24 hours before his death. The poll he put up about them probably hadn't even closed yet. He was excitedly retweeting Sky Ferreira hyping up her first new single in 6 years a few days ago, released on the 27th. He didn't even live to hear it. Must be particularly hard for Sky, who now has no surviving fans left.
  5. machotrouts

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

  6. machotrouts

    Foreign Personalities, From Stage, Screen, Politics And Life

    Ah, I'd wondered what the "A" in "A Serbian Film" stood for
  7. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2019

    Reigning champion fighting to keep my inverse crown. (An inverse crown is very uncomfortable and I don't recommend wearing one.) Billy Connolly Paul Gascoigne Bill Turnbull Queen Elizabeth II Donald Trump Linda Nolan Dick Van Dyke June Brown Prunella Scales Terry Jones Ruth Bader Ginsburg Betty White Marieke Vervoort Henry Kissinger Robert Mugabe Doris Day Jimmy Carter Prince Philip Olivia de Havilland Vera Lynn Michael Robinson Beth Chapman Bob Barker Bob Dole Bob Hawke SUB: Angela Lansbury Billy Connolly and Paul Gascoigne are both eligible for my #1 Hits Derby Dead Pool team, and I decided not to use either of them. Not even close enough to death's door for a theme team that stooped to including Demi Lovato.
  8. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2019

    Holding out in case Vera Lynn is rushed to hospital after a fentanyl overdose 23:50 tomorrow.
  9. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2019

    To clarify, that's noon tomorrow, right? Or do you mean 23:59?
  10. machotrouts

    Derby Dead Pool 2019

    I disregarded the rumours and speculation in 2017 because I trusted that insider who said he was just off receiving treatment for gammy fingers – then in 2018, the insider comes out and says it was a deliberate red herring to distract from his actual health issues. Very exciting plot twist.
  11. machotrouts

    Derby Dead Pool 2019

    Getting in the way of all the proper deadpoolers' analysis with facts and thoughts about my shitty little theme team: Now that I've finally had the sense to drop Connolly and O'Connor after 3 years, Vera Lynn is the only person to have been on all 4 incarnations of this team. Doris Day, Jane Morgan, and Rolf Harris all celebrate their 3rd year on the team – Doris skipped 2016, Jane skipped 2017, and Rolf skipped 2018. Jimmy Osmond, who had a stroke while playing Captain Hook in panto, entered the squad on Dec 31, the same day I had to take out Dr Hook's Ray Sawyer. A hook for a hook. I know there are 1 or 2 optimistic obits up there. Cancer Larry from the Floaters? One fifth of a 42-year-old one-hit wonder is a long shot, right? I shrugged off his previous heart troubles, but then one of you had to go and post on the forum that he's spending New Year's Eve in a hospital bed clutching his chest, and #1 Hits can't ignore that. He was probably posted as a trap for seasoned players, but a proper team's trash is a theme team's treasure. All 7 decades of the chart, from the 1950s to the 2010s, are represented here. Demi Lovato takes the #20 spot from Lil Wayne not just as the Overdose Punt, but also as a candidate in their first year of eligibility – Lil Wayne had his first UK #1 in 2017, and Demi Lovato had her first UK #1 in 2018. I've previously posted about the fact that I resented "having" to include Charles Aznavour on my team, as he was the oldest eligible male regardless of his apparent good health, and that when he died, I'd "have" to swap him for Tony Bennett, despite him also being in good health. Upon further research, I realised the actual oldest eligible male was the 93-year-old actor David Graham, who starred in Peter Kay's Animated All Star Band as Parker from Thunderbirds. David Graham also seems active and healthy, and I look forward to resenting him for years to come.
  12. machotrouts

    Billy Connolly: Big Yin with the Big C

    Billy Connolly spends a lot more time on the brink of death in headlines than he does in article bodies. "I’m 75, I’m near the end, I’m a damn sight nearer the end than I am the beginning..." Sounds like a 75-year-old alright. "As bits slip off and leave me, talents leave and attributes leave. I don’t have the balance I used to have, I don’t have the energy I used to have..." Sounds like Parkinson's alright.
  13. machotrouts

    2019 DDP Salvage Lot

    Don't worry, he's just suffering from a bad case of being the 4th oldest eligible candidate for a very narrow theme team. There's not much to work with after Greg Gilbert. Petula Clark is the #2 pick and I'd sooner expect to see her on Strictly Come Dancing than dead this year.
  14. machotrouts

    2019 DDP Salvage Lot

    In the spoiler box is my one-off team Miscarriage of Popjustice (a theme team of Popjustice £20 Prize nominees): and these were the three substitutes for it: 21. Jo O'Meara (S Club) 22. Amelle Berrabah (Sugababes) 23. Chris Lowe (Pet Shop Boys) The following people narrowly missed out on my two regular teams. Unpersons (a Big Brother theme team) SUBSTITUTES: 21. Wayne Sleep 22. Kellie Maloney 23. Michael Barrymore (#15 last year) 24. Ann Widdecombe 25. Alexander O'Neal (#12 last year) 26. Daniel Baldwin 27. Chris Ellison 28. Nick Leeson 29. Paula Hamilton 30. Stephanie Davis 31. Stephen Bear 32. Carol McGiffin 33. Dirk Benedict 34. Angie Bowie 35. James Cosmo (#18 last year) 36. Lesley Brain 37. Derek Acorah 38. Paddy Doherty 39. Sophie Anderton 40. Christopher Maloney #1 Hits (a UK #1 hitmaker theme team) SUBSTITUTES: 21. Kenny Rogers 22. Paul Gascoigne (ENGLANDNEWORDER) 23. Pat Boone 24. Tina Turner (USA for Africa) 25. Chris Rea (Band Aid II) (#6 last year) 26. Tony Bennett 27. Gordon Banks (England World Cup Squad '70) 28. Martin Peters (England World Cup Squad '70) 29. Peter Bonetti (England World Cup Squad '70) 30. Peter MacBeth (Foundations) 31. Tommy Roe 32. J.J. Barrie 33. Ian Bairnson (Pilot) 34. Ricky Valance 35. Plas Johnson (B. Bumble and the Stingers) 36. Bernard Cribbins (Peter Kay's Animated All Star Band) 37. Bryan Abrams (Color Me Badd) 38. Sean Kingston 39. Annika 'Mary Joe' Ljungberg (Rednex) 40. Chico Slimani
  15. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2018

    Thank you. This isn't the first pool where I've picked a bunch of people who didn't die, but I'm glad that this time it was on purpose.
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