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machotrouts

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machotrouts last won the day on January 7 2020

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About machotrouts

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  1. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    Three Colours: Dead Jean-Louis Trintignant – French star of films by Bertolucci, Chabrol, Truffaut, Haneke, Kieślowski, and many other important surnames – has died aged 91. As he is possibly the actor with the worst ratio of "films I've actually seen" to "films I keep adding to my Cinema Paradiso rental list then bumping down my queue because I'm more interested in being the sort of cultured individual who plans to watch them than I am in actually watching them", I have little to say here, but get back to me in a year or two and I'm sure I'll have a solid paragraph of My Night at Maud's jokes for you all to hon hon hon at. My mum who used to have the poster for Three Colours: Red on our kitchen wall because she likes Juliette Binoche's hair did briefly pretend to be sad when I told her, so there's that. Who picked him? Only five players, but they banked a fairly Jean-Louis Significant amount of points on the cancer-riddled nonagenarian, so some big drops ahead, including a 25-place plummet for reigning champion @BabyBlue, and @CastAway being cast away from the zero-points club to the bottom half of the leaderboard. That's one way to show you aren't il conformista. GAINED TOTAL =1. Death Impends 0 =1. Sean 0 =1. YorkshireBanker 0 =1. theoldlady 0 =1. MortalCaso 0 =1. Grim Up North 0 =1. Sideik 0 =1. machotrouts 0 9. YoungWillz 1 =10. Nick 2 =10. Pedro67 2 12. Funeralopolis 3 =13. BuffaloPhil 4 =13. Newjack 4 15. LizLemon 5 16. MariNisia 6 =17. Predictor 7 =17. Perhaps 7 =17. wannamaker 7 =20. drol 8 =20. CaptainChorizo 8 =22. Sir Creep 11 =22. Toast 11 =22. Bibliogryphon 11 =25. CastAway +12 12 =25. msc 12 =25. Banana 12 =28. Spade_Cooley 13 =28. Annami 13 =30. GuyFromFuture 14 =30. An Fear Beag 14 =32. Joey Russ 15 =32. gcreptile 15 =34. TQR 17 =34. Book 17 36. Philip +7 18 =37. The Unknown Man 19 =37. deadsox 19 =37. Great Uncle Bulgaria 19 40. Pedro67's wife 21 41. The Old Crem 23 42. BabyBlue +18 24 43. ThereWillBeDeaths7 25 44. chilean way +15 29 45. Doulton 30 =46. machotrouts' mum +13 35 =46. Hell 35 48. Neobrakeon 43
  2. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    The Noose Teen Tightens George Pérez, comic book artist primarily known for his pencilling, and dead pool pick primarily known for his pancreatic cancering, has died aged 67. But you know what comic book deaths are like – they'll retcon him back in a couple of years. Pérez was known for his work with both Marvel and DC Comics, including Wonder Woman and The Avengers. It's almost hard to believe that all those MCU films – even though I hear they sometimes look almost live-action – were drawn in pencil. Unfortunately for fans, now that he's dead, the franchise is over, so I hope this latest Multigrain of Breadness film wrapped up the whole plot sufficiently. Penciller Pérez's cancerous Páncreaz hasn't created much crisis on Inverse Earth, where only 3 players pencilled him into their teams. If it's any comfort to Hell and Neobrakeon, there may be infinite parallel realities in which you're doing better than this. GAINED TOTAL =1. Death Impends 0 =1. Sean 0 =1. YorkshireBanker 0 =1. theoldlady 0 =1. MortalCaso 0 =1. Grim Up North 0 =1. Sideik 0 =1. machotrouts 0 =1. CastAway 0 10. YoungWillz 1 =11. Nick 2 =11. Pedro67 2 13. Funeralopolis 3 =14. BuffaloPhil 4 =14. Newjack 4 16. LizLemon 5 =17. BabyBlue 6 =17. MariNisia 6 =19. Predictor 7 =19. Perhaps 7 =19. wannamaker 7 =22. drol 8 =22. CaptainChorizo 8 =24. Philip 11 =24. Sir Creep 11 =24. Toast 11 =24. Bibliogryphon 11 =28. msc +3 12 =28. Banana 12 =30. Spade_Cooley 13 =30. Annami 13 =32. GuyFromFuture 14 =32. chilean way 14 =32. An Fear Beag 14 =35. Joey Russ 15 =35. gcreptile 15 =37. TQR 17 =37. Book 17 =39. The Unknown Man 19 =39. deadsox 19 =39. Great Uncle Bulgaria 19 42. Pedro67's wife 21 43. machotrouts' mum 22 44. The Old Crem 23 45. ThereWillBeDeaths7 25 46. Doulton 30 47. Hell +2 35 48. Neobrakeon +6 43
  3. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    The Toms They Are a-Waning Tom Smith, or Tom Smith (rugby union, born 1971) to give him his full name, has died of cancer at the age of 50. I don't know much about rugby, but I suppose it must need unions like any job, so credit to this guy for his organising efforts – no doubt a great inspiration to those Amazon workers. ✊ 66.66667% of this year's hits so far have been Toms. Your host will bravely take this opportunity to come out as a Tom, and I can tell you this is causing deep concern in the Tom community. What a waste that modern DDP fame requirements probably disqualify me from picking myself. If I'd known when I started playing that I didn't have the option of eventually bowing out with a "SICK Deadpooler Predicts Own Suicide By Cop" headline, I don't think I'd have bothered getting so invested in the first place. No respect for creative flair in this day and age. Inverse Dead Poolers showed little faith in Mr (rugby union, born 1971)'s survival, but this early in the game, it's still enough to shake up the scrum. YoungWillz and Philip are dropped from the 0-points squad, but worst off is a blindsided Hell, who is cast down to the deep fiery pits of "just above Neobrakeon". GAINED TOTAL =1. Death Impends 0 =1. Sean 0 =1. YorkshireBanker 0 =1. theoldlady 0 =1. MortalCaso 0 =1. Grim Up North 0 =1. Sideik 0 =1. machotrouts 0 =1. CastAway 0 10. YoungWillz +1 1 =11. Nick 2 =11. Pedro67 2 13. Funeralopolis +2 3 =14. BuffaloPhil 4 =14. Newjack 4 16. LizLemon 5 =17. BabyBlue +2 6 =17. MariNisia 6 =19. Predictor +2 7 =19. Perhaps +1 7 =19. wannamaker 7 =22. drol 8 =22. CaptainChorizo 8 24. msc 9 =25. Philip +11 11 =25. Sir Creep 11 =25. Toast 11 =25. Bibliogryphon 11 29. Banana +4 12 =30. Spade_Cooley 13 =30. Annami 13 =32. GuyFromFuture +2 14 =32. chilean way 14 =32. An Fear Beag 14 =35. Joey Russ +8 15 =35. gcreptile +4 15 =37. TQR 17 =37. Book 17 =39. The Unknown Man 19 =39. deadsox 19 =39. Great Uncle Bulgaria 19 42. Pedro67's wife 21 43. machotrouts' mum 22 44. The Old Crem +3 23 45. ThereWillBeDeaths7 25 46. Doulton 30 47. Hell +18 33 48. Neobrakeon 37
  4. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    Burial Plot Cotton June Brown, who portrayed EastEnders character Dot Cotton, is now rot-rottin' at 95 years old – or, 2.879 Tom Parkers. Let that be a lesson to you all, kids – smoking kills. Unfortunately, your northerner host doesn't know enough about EastEnders to make any references to it, so I must defer to The Times for a heartwarming obituary: Tfw you're a rabbit and June Brown puts you in a biscuit tin: June 'The Rabbit Annihilator' Brown is not just our second hit of the year, but our second landmine of the year, EastEnding the hopes of 25 players. Ironically, "Nick" is the least affected of her victims. (Okay, I managed one reference.) GAINED TOTAL =1. YoungWillz 0 =1. Death Impends 0 =1. Sean 0 =1. YorkshireBanker 0 =1. Philip 0 =1. theoldlady 0 =1. MortalCaso 0 =1. Grim Up North 0 =1. Sideik 0 =1. machotrouts 0 =1. CastAway 0 12. Funeralopolis 1 =13. Nick +2 2 =13. Pedro67 2 =15. BuffaloPhil +4 4 =15. BabyBlue 4 =15. Newjack 4 =18. Predictor +5 5 =18. LizLemon +4 5 =20. Perhaps +6 6 =20. MariNisia +4 6 =22. wannamaker +7 7 =22. Joey Russ 7 =24. drol +8 8 =24. CaptainChorizo 8 =24. Banana 8 27. msc +9 9 =28. Sir Creep +5 11 =28. Toast +2 11 =28. Bibliogryphon 11 =28. gcreptile 11 32. GuyFromFuture 12 =33. Spade_Cooley +13 13 =33. Annami +11 13 =35. chilean way +14 14 =35. An Fear Beag +3 14 37. Hell 15 =38. TQR +10 17 =38. Book +7 17 =40. The Unknown Man +19 19 =40. deadsox +9 19 =40. Great Uncle Bulgaria +1 19 43. The Old Crem +18 20 44. Pedro67's wife +21 21 45. machotrouts' mum 22 46. ThereWillBeDeaths7 +15 25 47. Doulton +21 30 48. Neobrakeon +23 37
  5. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    Tomb Carker Tom Parker, one fifth of now-4-piece boy band The Wanted, and the youngest of this thread's 50 eligible picks, has died of brain cancer at the age of 33. While Derby Dead Pool players may be saying "I'm glad you came" to the reaper, this is a most unwanted surprise for the majority of Inverse Dead Pool players, with 26 of you now asking yourselves: how do you get up from an all time low? And, will the 22 players now tied in joint 1st place stay gold forever? And, was he on the organ donor list for anyone with a heart vacancy? And, who knew The Wanted had any lyrics to riff on that aren't just some variant of "whoa oh oh"? Despite being at the wrong end of the 12-to-18-month prognosis for glioblastoma, Parker was a more popular Inverse pick this year than last – which I can't blame you for, given that he was seen performing on ITV with the group in December, and was booked for reunion tour dates this very month. Even more tragically, the thought of bands who debuted in the 2010s already being on reunion tours has doubtless made several of you reading this post suddenly die of old age. They said this day wouldn't come, we refused to run, we've only just begun, you'll find us looking at the inaugural Inverse Dead Pool leaderboard of 2022. Oh-oh-oh-oh oh oh, oh-oh-oh-oh oh oh, oh-oh-oh-oh oh oh. GAINED TOTAL =1. YoungWillz - 0 =1. wannamaker - 0 =1. Predictor - 0 =1. Death Impends - 0 =1. Sean - 0 =1. chilean way - 0 =1. BuffaloPhil - 0 =1. Nick - 0 =1. msc - 0 =1. drol - 0 =1. YorkshireBanker - 0 =1. The Unknown Man - 0 =1. Perhaps - 0 =1. Philip - 0 =1. theoldlady - 0 =1. MortalCaso - 0 =1. Spade_Cooley - 0 =1. Grim Up North - 0 =1. Sideik - 0 =1. Pedro67's wife - 0 =1. machotrouts - 0 =1. CastAway - 0 =23. LizLemon +1 1 =23. Funeralopolis +1 1 =25. MariNisia +2 2 =25. Annami +2 2 =25. The Old Crem +2 2 =25. Pedro67 +2 2 =29. BabyBlue +4 4 =29. Newjack +4 4 31. Sir Creep +6 6 =32. Joey Russ +7 7 =32. TQR +7 7 =34. CaptainChorizo +8 8 =34. Banana +8 8 =36. Doulton +9 9 =36. Toast +9 9 =38. ThereWillBeDeaths7 +10 10 =38. Book +10 10 =38. deadsox +10 10 =41. Bibliogryphon +11 11 =41. An Fear Beag +11 11 =41. gcreptile +11 11 44. GuyFromFuture +12 12 45. Neobrakeon +14 14 46. Hell +15 15 47. Great Uncle Bulgaria +18 18 48. machotrouts' mum +22 22
  6. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    Here's the complete list of Inverse Dead Pool 2022 candidates, ranked by the total number of points you've all assigned them. TOTAL POINTS # OF TEAMS 1 Donald Trump 1022 46 2 Paul Gascoigne 907 44 3 Clint Eastwood 867 45 4 Ghislaine Maxwell 863 43 5 Phil Collins 755 44 6 Queen Elizabeth II 742 43 7 Dick Van Dyke 724 43 8 Billy Connolly 647 43 9 Rupert Murdoch 632 42 10 David Attenborough 624 41 11 Shane MacGowan 573 39 12 Joe Exotic 508 36 13 Willie Nelson 444 41 14 Rolf Harris 430 40 15 Olivia Newton-John 415 35 16 Yoko Ono 414 32 17 Mel Brooks 401 36 18 Tony Bennett 359 33 19 Bobby Charlton 351 39 20 Doddie Weir 335 29 21 Prunella Scales 314 32 22 Angela Lansbury 269 27 23 June Brown 241 25 24 Shannen Doherty 216 23 = Tim Bilton 216 21 = Tom Parker 216 26 27 Henry Kissinger 194 18 28 Milos Zeman 191 18 29 Bill Turnbull 187 18 30 Rob Burrow 158 20 31 Mikhail Gorbachev 137 15 32 Jerry Lee Lewis 135 15 33 Linda Nolan 117 13 34 Francoise Hardy 101 14 35 Harry Belafonte 92 14 36 Eva Marie Saint 84 10 37 James Whale 83 11 38 Joanne Woodward 82 14 39 George Alagiah 81 11 40 Leslie Phillips 74 5 41 Jean-Louis Trintignant 65 5 42 Pope Benedict XVI 63 8 43 Jimmy Carter 62 7 44 Tom Smith 58 12 45 Susie Steiner 43 5 46 Bob Barker 42 4 47 Pele 37 6 48 Tom Weiskopf 17 5 49 George Perez 11 3 50 Frank Field 1 1 You'll note that I've colour-coded the top half in green and the bottom half in red – except that the three-way tie at #24 means a team composed of the forum's collective wisdom would actually have too many candidates and presumably be disqualified. Maybe a bad omen. Statistically, the fuckedest candidate is Frank Field, with only Bibliogryphon gambling a single point on him walking out of a hospice with his Birkenhead held high. Our biggest vote of confidence is for Donald Trump, who appears on 46 out of a possible 48 teams. If he dies, only theoldlady and my old lady will be spared the carnage. The 46 of us who've given him a glowing health assessment are probably now in the running to be his personal physician, so make sure to drop your LinkedIns below.
  7. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    I've belatedly clocked another duplicate. @Great Uncle Bulgaria, it looks like Prunella Scales forgot she was only supposed to appear on your team once – you have her at #9 and #17. I'll prune your second Prunella and move up your lower picks, including your sub June Brown to #25.
  8. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    THAT'S YOUR LOT – SUBMISSIONS CLOSED. Statistics coming soon. Not tonight I would like to sleep thanks.
  9. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    Your host's team. Ghislaine Maxwell Donald Trump Paul Gascoigne Phil Collins Billy Connolly Rupert Murdoch Clint Eastwood Doddie Weir David Attenborough Mel Brooks Shane MacGowan Queen Elizabeth II Dick Van Dyke Joe Exotic Tony Bennett Prunella Scales Eva Marie Saint Henry Kissinger Olivia Newton-John Rolf Harris Bobby Charlton Jerry Lee Lewis Harry Belafonte Willie Nelson George Alagiah SUBSTITUTE, if someone dies in the next 5 minutes: Ozzy Osbourne
  10. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    Go ahead, Mrs Pedro67! You're right, thank you – sorry for not clocking that sooner! He can't play with two Dicks at once, so by default, I'll withdraw the second Dick and move everyone up a place, including his ex-sub Eva Marie Saint to #25 (not his replacement sub Bill Cosby, who remains ineligible for main team status). If @Sean would prefer a different approach to his double-Dick problem, he can let me know.
  11. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    Just as she did last year, my mum – who I am thankful does not have a Deathlist account – would like to submit her own Inverse Dead Pool team, via me. Do I have the host's permission to do this? I am hearing that yes, I do. Her list is mostly based on vibes, wishful thinking, and also things like "'Doddie' sounds too much like 'Deadie'. I'm not picking him." machotrouts' mum's team: Tony Bennett Yoko Ono Olivia Newton-John Tom Parker Phil Collins Joanne Woodward Eva Marie Saint Clint Eastwood Dick Van Dyke Harry Belafonte Mel Brooks Francoise Hardy Jean-Louis Trintignant Bill Turnbull George Alagiah Billy Connolly Leslie Phillips Jimmy Carter Shane MacGowan Shannen Doherty Bob Barker Rob Burrow Pele Paul Gascoigne Bobby Charlton SUB: Angela Lansbury (As usual, I will be submitting my own team shortly before the deadline tonight.)
  12. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2021

    Post-match analysis of my 2021 "hits": I'm not a great picker – but I'm a pretty good ranker. 1. Larry King, 2 points. There's no such thing as a guaranteed Covid death, right? Even extremely ill people often end up getting a symptomless lucky break. If he'd been a popular pick, I'm not sure I'd have bothered, but nobody else picked him – so, in the spirit of contrarianism, I simply had to. It's quite satisfying to start the game in sole last place and slowly rise up the ranks! Makes me feel like I'm playing against rubberbanding AI opponents. 2. Murray Walker, 6 points. Old guy who died. It happens. 3. Prince Philip, 1 point. I just quite liked the symmetry of him and his ball-and-chain flanking the list from either side. And he wasn't that old, was he? 99 in royal years is like 27 in normal human years. He's basically Kurt Cobain. No wonder all the British internet went greyscale to mourn the tragic death of this young boy. 4. Norman Lloyd, 5 points. I have a sort of rule that anyone who's in the Inverse 50 on age grounds alone must make at least one appearance on my team – even if, statistically speaking, that age is Holy Shit How Can You Possibly Not Be Dead Already years old. 5. Sarah Harding, 4 points. Quite a speedy cancer turnaround – I thought I was pessimistic expecting her death to cancel a Girls Aloud 20th anniversary reunion in 2022, when actually, she's died so far in advance, the rest of them now have enough time to plan a Sarahless reunion without it seeming insensitive. 6. Betty White, 10 points. Well, me and People Magazine both. 36 places above my mother? I'll take it! (The Inverse Dead Pool 2022 – hosted by your reigning runner-up – is now open, if any of you haven't noticed. Team submissions close in 24 hours! Don't miss it!)
  13. machotrouts

    Derby Dead Pool 2022

    Always weirdly excited to check out who is and isn't a unique pick on my teams when the DDP goes up. ^ Nice to have a unique joker, disappointing to only have 3 uniques in total. 5 names were picked on only one other team each, including John Gorman and Billy J. Kramer on (I think) their DDP debut year. 97-year-old #1 Hits mainstay Jane Morgan, who has been unique all 5 previous times I've picked her, has suddenly popped up on 3 other teams! Not the first of my picks I'd recommend snaffling, to be honest – after the Great Kitty Kallen Snub of 2016, can we really take her obit for granted? I'm surprised Willie Nelson still hasn't cracked the Drop 40. Are you all holding out for his 90th birthday? Fuck my team, I hope he makes it. ^ 10 uniques is a decent haul, most of them expected. Thought some of the antivaxxier names would be more widespread. ^ Blimey! Only Simone Segouin (on one other team) away from an all-unique sweep. It is a fairly obscure bunch. I thought Mr Poots would be on another team or two, though I'm not sure which other names I could reasonably have expected to share. Superstar Billy Graham nemesis Ivan Putski was bound to show up sooner or later, right? (I doubt anyone's looking to me for serious tips, but Astiz and Zuckerman, in particular, are reportedly ailing enough to warrant being picked by more than just a single theme team...)
  14. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    Tim Bilton is logged in the DDP as the chef, and chef Tim Bilton is still active on social media as of yesterday (or his ghost is unduly concerned with haunting Instagram). His death does appear to have been reported by a few sites I've never heard of with spelling mistakes in the headlines, but here he is personally denying it.
  15. machotrouts

    Inverse Dead Pool 2022

    If we have to cross that bridge, I think the least confusing and arbitrary solution would be to just play with a 54-name pool, though my current preferred system is "Hope Nobody Else Dies".
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