machotrouts

I put John Gorman on my #1 Hits DDP team in 2022 on the basis of a tweet by an apparent friend of his saying he'd emailed her "shocking news about his health" in 2020 and then gone incommunicado for months. Not much to go on but pretty ominous. Then he started performing again and I dropped him for 2023, but I did wonder about the nose in recent pics – certainly looks like he's been through something.

Vicky Wright is also a miss for my #1 Hits team. She was a member of "the Foxes", or "Little Foxes", a girl group comprising the Beverley Sisters' daughters: Vicky, sister Babette Wright, and cousin Sasha Felix (daughter of Teddie Beverley). They only released a couple of (non-charting) singles in their own right ('Crossed Line' and 'Golden Bodies', both in 1983), but technically had a #1 hit as part of "The Crowd", the 1985 charity ensemble who covered 'You'll Never Walk Alone' in aid of victims of the Bradford City stadium fire.

Okay! I Bereave You 6 foot, 7 foot, 8 foot under – Harry Belafonte has died of heart failure at the age of 96. Known in part for his political activism, from the early US civil rights movement of the 1950s, to his 2020s endorsements of young up-and-coming candidate hopefuls like Ed Markey and Bernie Sanders, he is probably most widely remembered as a singer, popularising calypso music with hits like Day-O (The Banana Boat Song), Jump in the Line, and Mary's Boy Child, amongst others. Jamaica Farewell? No, he left of his own accord. Time for Mr Tally Man to tally your bananas. Belafonte was this year's 28th most popular Inverse pick – somehow, up from 35th last year, with nearly double the points staked on him – so this has shake, shake, shaken up the leaderboard. @YoungWillz and @theoldlady – who were both still in the top 10 this time last year – plummet to the bottom 4 with their latest 15 and 14 points, respectively. Maybe they'd been working all night and drinking rum when they put together their 2023 teams? Speaking of the top 10, there are now just 8 players left on a score of Day-0, as 10 points go to @Perhaps, and 8 to the suitably Beetlejuicy-sounding username @Summer in Transylvania. Among those less afflicted are @TQR, @msc, and @Grimgrass – all in this thread mourning their 6-, 3-, and 1-point hits, but seeing small rises up the leaderboard in the wake of other players' larger failures. Speaking of failures, @Sir Creep catches a break – not only does he not gain any points, my mum takes back last place, having banked 17 points (but no coffee) on Belafonte. Maybe I should call her Senora Creep? GAINED TOTAL = 1. LizLemon 0 = 1. CaptainChorizo 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. tracy 0 = 1. Death Impends 0 = 1. Alcalina 0 = 1. Book 0 = 1. Annami 0 ▲ 9. Spade_Cooley 1 ▲ 10. diego 2 ▲ 10. Sean 2 ▲ 12. gcreptile 3 ▲ 13. Grimgrass +1 4 ▲ 13. Nick 4 ▲ 13. machotrouts 4 ▲ 16. BabyBlue 6 ▲ 17. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 17. ThereWillBeDeaths7 7 ▼ 19. Summer in Transylvania +9 9 ▼ 19. BuffaloPhil +5 9 ▲ 19. Joey Russ 9 ▼ 22. Perhaps +10 10 ▼ 22. marinade +6 10 ▼ 24. Newjack +4 11 ▲ 24. The Unknown Man 11 ▲ 24. chilean way 11 ▲ 24. The Old Crem 11 ▲ 24. An Fear Beag 11 ▲ 29. Bibliogryphon 12 ▲ 30. deadsox 13 ▲ 30. Grim Up North 13 ▼ 32. Funeralopolis +4 14 ▲ 32. Toast 14 ▼ 34. MortalCaso +6 15 ▼ 35. Hell +6 16 ▲ 35. wannamaker 16 ▼ 37. Pedro67 +8 17 ▲ 38. msc +4 18 ▼ 39. Torva Messor +9 21 ▲ 39. MariNisia 21 ▼ 41. En Passant +12 22 ▼ 42. nantonian2013 +12 23 ▲ 42. TQR +6 23 ▼ 44. Wormfarmer +12 25 = 44. CalebH +9 25 ▲ 44. TheSpinosaurus 25 ▼ 47. YoungWillz +15 26 ▼ 48. theoldlady +14 27 ▲ 49. Sir Creep 40 ▼ 50. machotrouts' mum +17 42

Zero Lives of Ryuichi Sakamoto Yes, I still hadn't done this one yet. Japanese composer Ryuichi Sakamoto has died of colon cancer at the age of 71. He will be remembered for his influential electronic music production, his work in the band Yellow Magic Orchestra, his scores for films like The Last Emperor, The Revenant, and Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence, and that one weirdly hot album cover of him holding a lamp in a bathtub. Probably lucky to have lived for another 45 years after that. Now, excuse me while I bring this quote over from the Ryuichi Sakamoto thread to put all the coffee posts in context, because I wasn't sure what you were all on about until I read it: Well, fortune favours the bold... in games other than the Inverse Dead Pool, which is largely unrewarding for the bold, but thank you @Sir Creep for keeping the game interesting at your own 25-point expense. Unfortunately, coffee enemas are ineffective at treating colon cancer. The biggest leaderboard drop, however, is @msc, whose 14-point hit drops him 41 places after he was among the 11 who didn't bet on Bacharach – which means we have our first distinct top 10 of the year, all on 0 points. But for how long? Until 11 days ago, actually, but I'm catching up. The only other points are the 9-osaurus for @TheSpinosaurus, and 1 for @MariNisia, who actually rises 2 places at Creep and Spino's expense. GAINED TOTAL = 1. LizLemon 0 = 1. CaptainChorizo 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. Perhaps 0 = 1. Summer in Transylvania 0 = 1. tracy 0 = 1. Death Impends 0 = 1. Alcalina 0 = 1. Book 0 = 1. Annami 0 ▲ 11. Spade_Cooley 1 ▲ 12. diego 2 ▲ 12. Sean 2 ▲ 14. Grimgrass 3 ▲ 14. gcreptile 3 ▲ 16. marinade 4 ▲ 16. BuffaloPhil 4 ▲ 16. Nick 4 ▲ 16. machotrouts 4 ▲ 20. BabyBlue 6 ▲ 21. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 21. ThereWillBeDeaths7 7 ▲ 21. Newjack 7 ▲ 24. Joey Russ 9 ▲ 24. Pedro67 9 ▲ 24. MortalCaso 9 ▲ 27. Funeralopolis 10 ▲ 27. Hell 10 ▲ 27. En Passant 10 ▲ 30. The Unknown Man 11 ▲ 30. nantonian2013 11 ▲ 30. chilean way 11 ▲ 30. YoungWillz 11 ▲ 30. The Old Crem 11 ▲ 30. An Fear Beag 11 ▲ 36. Bibliogryphon 12 ▲ 36. Torva Messor 12 ▲ 38. deadsox 13 ▲ 38. Grim Up North 13 ▲ 38. theoldlady 13 ▲ 38. Wormfarmer 13 ▼ 42. msc +14 14 ▲ 42. Toast 14 ▲ 44. wannamaker 16 ▲ 44. CalebH 16 ▲ 46. TQR 17 ▲ 47. MariNisia +1 21 ▼ 48. TheSpinosaurus +9 25 ▲ 48. machotrouts' mum 25 ▼ 50. Sir Creep +25 40

Open the Pearly Gates, Hal Austin Powers, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, and Austin Powers in Goldmember star Burt Bacharach has died at the age of 94. In addition to his film career, he was also known as the tunes-composing half (i.e. the important half) of a songwriting partnership with lyricist Hal David, with whom he wrote the greatest hits of the 1960s and 70s, including 'I'll Never Fall in Love Again' (unfortunately, correct), 'I Say a Little Prayer' (unfortunately, he needed a big one), 'Only Love Can Break a Heart' (unfortunately, so can being 94 years old), and 'They Long to Be Close to You' (unfortunately, "They" refers to maggots). Lyrics jokes would be more apt for a Hal David obit, but rest assured that I am typing this very melodically. Raindrops are falling on a lot of players' heads, but that doesn't mean your eyes will soon be turning red. Unfortunately, your names on the leaderboard will, not least that of our first player to lose their 25-pointer: my mum. Of course, she did some talking to her son, and she said she didn't like the way I got things done. There are many more Tragic Moments on our inaugural leaderboard: 20 points for @MariNisia, 17 for faded ex-Inverse champ @TQR, 16 for 2023 debutantes @CalebH and @TheSpinosaurus (hello anyway) plus @wannamaker (wannamake it easy on yourself?), and 15 points for @Sir Creep. Never mind, I'm sure the next update will be better for him. GAINED TOTAL = 1. LizLemon 0 = 1. CaptainChorizo 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. msc 0 = 1. Perhaps 0 = 1. Summer in Transylvania 0 = 1. tracy 0 = 1. Death Impends 0 = 1. Alcalina 0 = 1. Book 0 = 1. Annami 0 ▼ 12. Spade_Cooley +1 1 ▼ 13. diego +2 2 ▼ 13. Sean +2 2 ▼ 15. Grimgrass +3 3 ▼ 15. gcreptile +3 3 ▼ 17. marinade +4 4 ▼ 17. BuffaloPhil +4 4 ▼ 17. Nick +4 4 ▼ 17. machotrouts +4 4 ▼ 21. BabyBlue +6 6 ▼ 22. Captain Hemlock +7 7 ▼ 22. ThereWillBeDeaths7 +7 7 ▼ 22. Newjack +7 7 ▼ 25. Joey Russ +9 9 ▼ 25. Pedro67 +9 9 ▼ 25. MortalCaso +9 9 ▼ 28. Funeralopolis +10 10 ▼ 28. Hell +10 10 ▼ 28. En Passant +10 10 ▼ 31. The Unknown Man +11 11 ▼ 31. nantonian2013 +11 11 ▼ 31. chilean way +11 11 ▼ 31. YoungWillz +11 11 ▼ 31. The Old Crem +11 11 ▼ 31. An Fear Beag +11 11 ▼ 37. Bibliogryphon +12 12 ▼ 37. Torva Messor +12 12 ▼ 39. deadsox +13 13 ▼ 39. Grim Up North +13 13 ▼ 39. theoldlady +13 13 ▼ 39. Wormfarmer +13 13 ▼ 43. Toast +14 14 ▼ 44. Sir Creep +15 15 ▼ 45. wannamaker +16 16 ▼ 45. TheSpinosaurus +16 16 ▼ 45. CalebH +16 16 ▼ 48. TQR +17 17 ▼ 49. MariNisia +20 20 ▼ 50. machotrouts' mum +25 25

Sorry, just took a couple of months' leave from the forum in the hope of seeding a rumour that I was secretly Burt Bacharach. Did it work? Here, because I haven't posted it yet, is the complete list of Inverse Dead Pool 2023 candidates, ranked by the total number of points you've all assigned them. The top and bottom halves are colour-coded – the green half is what your team would look like if you were the exact statistical average Inverse Dead Pool player, and the red half is what your team would look like if you didn't read the rules properly. TOTAL POINTS # OF TEAMS 1 Donald Trump 1147 49 2 Vladimir Putin 916 48 3 Ozzy Osbourne 841 48 4 Bill Cosby 834 44 5 Clint Eastwood 817 45 6 Billy Connolly 806 48 7 Phil Collins 799 45 8 Buzz Aldrin 780 46 9 Dick Van Dyke 749 44 10 Rupert Murdoch 710 44 11 David Attenborough 609 42 12 Shane MacGowan 594 39 13 Prunella Scales 531 43 14 Mel Brooks 496 44 15 Willie Nelson 488 43 16 Yoko Ono 457 39 17 Burt Bacharach 392 39 18 Randy Jackson 368 35 19 Shannen Doherty 353 33 20 Linda Nolan 266 28 21 Tony Bennett 257 26 22 Janey Godley 248 27 23 Rhod Gilbert 228 26 23 Stanley Baxter 228 32 25 Tim Bilton 202 23 26 Francoise Hardy 195 21 27 Bobby Charlton 176 22 28 Harry Belafonte 169 20 29 Henry Kissinger 162 16 30 Eva Marie Saint 161 25 31 Roberta Flack 146 14 32 Ted Kaczynski 134 16 33 Kate Keltie 127 20 34 Jimmy Carter 115 13 35 Andy Taylor 97 16 36 Bob Barker 81 11 37 Glynis Johns 67 13 38 Rob Burrow 58 7 38 Larry Pressler 58 8 40 Frank Field 55 5 41 Johnny Ruffo 51 11 42 Ryuichi Sakamoto 49 4 43 Rolf Harris 46 3 44 Joanne Woodward 44 9 45 George Alagiah 41 3 46 Jonnie Irwin 37 2 47 Nigel Starmer-Smith 31 5 48 Steve McMichael 22 3 49 Simon Cowell (wildlife) 10 2 50 James Whale 4 1 For the second year running, our healthiest candidate is Donald Trump, who is not only picked by 49 out of 50 players – omitted only by my mum's wishful thinking team – but receives the maximum 25 points from 38 of them. Inverse Dead Poolers have banked a collective 1147 points on his survival, not far short of the potential maximum of 1250. With Vladimir Putin also being declared hale and hearty by the community, it looks like the Russian bot infilitration of Deathlist is a success. 2023's statistical fuckedest candidate is James Whale, with only 4 points donated by @Great Uncle Bulgaria to the cause of Whale conservation. Still, 2022's fuckedest candidate, Frank Field – who had a total of 1 point last year – is not only still with us, but apparently doing 55 times better this year. Hospice care really works! (Burt Bacharach and Ryuichi Sakamoto obits/updates coming ASAP.)

I've just finished scrutinising all teams for irregularities. @The Unknown Man, there's a couple of errors on your team – you've got Michael J. Fox, who isn't (quite) one of the 50 playable names, at #12, and duplicate Rhod Gilberts at #18 and #23 – but fortunately, you have two eligible substitutes, so you don't need to do anything. I've removed Michael and the lower Rhod from your team on my spreadsheet, and your subs, Tony Bennett and Randy Jackson, will compete at #24 and #25. Everything else looks fine, and we've got a nice round 50 players, so time to crack out the bold red text: SUBMISSIONS OFFICIALLY CLOSED.

Your host's team. 1. Phil Collins 2. Ozzy Osbourne 3. Billy Connolly 4. Bill Cosby 5. Clint Eastwood 6. Rupert Murdoch 7. Donald Trump 8. Vladimir Putin 9. Buzz Aldrin 10. Shane MacGowan 11. Francoise Hardy 12. Dick Van Dyke 13. Janey Godley 14. Mel Brooks 15. David Attenborough 16. Prunella Scales 17. Stanley Baxter 18. Willie Nelson 19. Tony Bennett 20. Tim Bilton 21. Kate Keltie 22. Burt Bacharach 23. Henry Kissinger 24. Ted Kacynzski 25. Glynis Johns SUBSTITUTES, if 3 celebs die in the next 7 hours: Eva Marie Saint, Bobby Charlton, Andy Taylor

I am once again posting a team on behalf of my mother. We had to go for a drive, so I printed the list off and sat in the passenger seat talking a ranking out of her. In text form: My own team coming shortly.

I don't know if that's necessarily more intuitive than your top pick, the person you think is least likely to die, being your "#1" – leaving the points conversion to be done off-site on the host's OpenOffice spreadsheet – but I don't have a strong opinion on this! As far as I'm concerned, the only reason for the rules to specify the formatting is to explain the scoring system, and so they just describe the way it always has been done. If there's widespread formatting dissent amongst players, the rules can be updated to reflect that!

Additional notes: Gianluca Vialli and Frank McGarvey are also in this year's DDP top 50, but as they've already died, they are not in play, as dead people are typically precluded from surviving the year. The above names are the top 50 still alive as of the Inverse Dead Pool starting line. Three names are currently tied at #51 – Michael J. Fox, Cleo Laine, and Michael Parkinson – all of whom may come into play if there are more deaths in the top 50 during the submission period.

YOUR 50 ELIGIBLE PICKS ARE HERE: James Whale George Alagiah Jimmy Carter Jonnie Irwin Rolf Harris Frank Field Linda Nolan Rob Burrow Shannen Doherty Dick Van Dyke Andy Taylor Henry Kissinger Prunella Scales Nigel Starmer-Smith Tony Bennett Ryuichi Sakamoto Rhod Gilbert Bobby Charlton Shane MacGowan Bob Barker Kate Keltie Billy Connolly Vladimir Putin Roberta Flack Steve McMichael Yoko Ono Tim Bilton Mel Brooks Johnny Ruffo Ted Kaczynski David Attenborough Harry Belafonte Janey Godley Randy Jackson Buzz Aldrin Willie Nelson Simon Cowell (wildlife) Eva Marie Saint Clint Eastwood Glynis Johns Ozzy Osbourne Stanley Baxter Bill Cosby Rupert Murdoch Joanne Woodward Francoise Hardy Phil Collins Larry Pressler Burt Bacharach Donald Trump Submissions are now open. Select and rank 25 of those names to survive 2023, and post your teams in this thread. The deadline to submit a team is Monday, January 30, 23.59 (GMT) – a little over a week from now.

PLACEHOLDER POST The 50 names and the submission deadline are in the post below. This post was here so I could go back and edit them in later so they wouldn't get lost in the middle of the thread, but as there were no posts made in the days between this and the reveal of the names, it is now superfluous, and it turns out I can't delete it. Oops!

INVERSE DEAD POOL 2023   Welcome to the 12th edition of the Inverse Dead Pool, the nice dead pool where you don't want your picks to die. How to play The game starts when I post a list of this year's 50 most popular Derby Dead Pool picks. From this list of 50, you must pick 25 people who you think will SURVIVE the year. The premise is to AVOID picking people who will die. Rank your picks – from least likely to die to most likely to die. You receive points according to their position on your team – 25 points if your #1 pick dies, 24 points if your #2 pick dies, and so on, down to 1 point if your #25 pick dies, and 0 points if anyone you haven't picked dies. You do NOT want points. The winner is the player with the fewest points at the end of the year (Dec 31, 23.59 GMT). You may also appoint a substitute, or substitutes, in case any picks die before the submission deadline (or in case you accidentally include a name twice). If that happens, everyone in a lower position on your team moves up a place, and your top substitute is drafted in at #25. Once you have a team ready, post it in this thread. If an eligible pick dies during the submission period, then the 51st top DDP pick becomes eligible; if another dies, then the 52nd becomes eligible, etc. You may amend your team after posting it, as long as it's before the submission deadline (you might want to do this if, for example, the 51st name becomes eligible and you want to include them). If you do, make sure to post again in this thread to clarify what you've changed. Tie break details If two or more players are tied for victory at the end of the year, the winner is whoever had the fewest points most recently (i.e. whoever had the most recent pick to die, or whoever ranked that pick higher if all tied players picked them, or whoever had the second most recent pick to die if those are the same, etc). If all tied players have the exact same hits in the exact same positions (or if they achieve a heretofore-unachieved perfect score of 0), the tie is not broken – all tied players share victory. Congratulations to our previous winners... 2022 YorkshireBanker 27 points 2021 BabyBlue 25 points 2020 The Quim Reaper 34 points 2019 drol 10 points 2018 machotrouts 17 points 2017 drol 25 points 2016 Pedro67 21 points 2015 Death Impends 15 points 2014 Bibliogryphon 10 points 2013 N/A 2012 Esturian Float 4 points 2011 Garn2 15 points Thank you to our previous hosts... 2018-2021 Death Impends 2014-2017 The Dead Cow 2011-2012 Spade_Cooley Links to previous Inverse Dead Pools... 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2012-2016, 2011

58 Soft Cell — Tainted Love 36 The Specials — Ghost Town 36 The Human League — Don't You Want Me 29 David Bowie — Ashes to Ashes 28 Blondie — Atomic +1 21 Blondie — Call Me +3 20 The Pretenders — Brass in Pocket -6 Gonna use my downvotes ♫