Lard Bazaar

I think I have mentioned this somewhere here before, but when I went to buy my wedding dress with my mother and sister, the female shop owner thought we were all sisters and that I was the oldest I was 23, my sister was 28 and my mother 45. 46.

Well if you’re implying I’m young then you’ve just gone right up in my estimation

Then my work here is done.

Learnt everything I know off your mum.

Jeez these ‘celebrity’ baby names get worse by the day.

It’s the right decision. Rather miss a race or two to get match fit, than push your luck and fuck yourself right up.

In heart warming news, my arse has just given birth to the titanic cable it’s been baking since I had a large can of red bull and half a pound of cheese for lunch. Mother and brown baby are doing well

I’m a thickee currently studying Mathematical Sciences, and believe me, 12 modules and six months worth of exponential growth and decay calculations, along with a smattering of quadratic equations and logarithms is easier to understand than this complete nonsense

Well I have a considerable amount of dollar riding on this!

Oi @Lord Fellatio Nelson can spurs beat palace, I’ve just put a bet on the draw but I don’t know who is the best at footballing so I thought a draw would be the better option.

Never heard of him.

Mercedes Gland and her vacant partner Vince Feecees are delighted to announce the safe arrival of baby Psoriasis, a welcome sister for Toejam and Peanut.

Over the years I’ve had a couple of unique scorers, as I said, it’s what you know, not who

I’ll PayPal 50p to the first person that can somehow photoshop this onto Goatse.

At my old place of work I cut out the face of this and taped it over my own on my work security badge. It was in place for at least 18 months.

I’m sure we’ve played this game on another thread before.

Genuinely now, hands up who has heard of the people in those last two posts. Because I’ll bet a pound to a pinch of shit the answer is NOBODY.

I know I bang on about it but these riders are truly hard bastards, and also very mental

Bloody hell, how old are you?

I love Brian Blessed, his book is full of little stories like this - my favourite is when he tells of punching Harold Pinter down some stairs.

Broken humerus Sunday - surgery Tuesday - passed fit to ride Thursday - the man’s a fucking machine. Additionally, two other riders who suffered injury on Sunday, Alex Rins (broken shoulder) and Cal Crutchlow (broken wrist) also had surgery Tuesday and passed fit today - I don’t think they’ll ride this Sunday but I’m putting a fiver on MM. These fucking pussy footballers can all get to fuck, rolling around crying on the floor when they’ve broken their hair.

‘In case’? There’s no ‘in case’ about it, he’s begging for it mate!

Predictable, perhaps.

Cunt! Now see he does nothing for me at all. Weird. It must be the age thing. Billy Idol is 64 and I’d break his nutsack too.