Lard Bazaar

I’ve only seen them once supporting Take That (don’t judge me motherfuckers) but they put on a great show, I really enjoyed them. But 66. It’s a bit depressing quite how quickly life passes you by.

Thieving fucking pikey cunts. The workshop my old man has been renting space in was broken into last night. We lost about 1200 quid’s worth of kit, perhaps not a huge amount however it will significantly impact the small amount of work he had coming in for the last few weeks. They left some bigger more expensive stuff that they are bound to come back for. Stuff that he has saved hard to buy and build up to make a business. How fucking dare somebody smash their way into someone else’s property, and steal? Who the fuck do they think they are? We’ve not only lost equipment, we’ve lost time, work and money. Thieves are pure fucking scum. I feel physically sick, livid, upset. My heart is aching for my old man, who at times is the biggest prick I know but he is a bloody hard worker and is the best at his game - yes I would say that but 30 years in a trade where everyone says ‘if you want that doing properly I know just the man’ - he is 20 stone of fucking hard bastard but he is fucking gutted, after getting no fucking help these last few months now this, I’ve never heard him sound so low. I’m venting on here because it’s fairly anonymous, and we can plot and exact our revenge without the Facebook grapevine alerting the dirty cunts to their imminent fate. I am not very happy.

Chance would be a fine thing.

Is Paninaro the B side of that, top tune that is. I always had a bit of a crush on Chris Lowe, never could tell if he was Arthur or Martha though.

That has sharply brought me face to face with the fact that I’m also old. How the fuck can he be 66!

Sorry. I was bored!

Can anyone give me the recipe for Boston Pancakes?

Upon further fucking investigation it appears I may have been a tad hasty - he apparently voted against an amendment to the bill to provide financial support to victims of domestic abuse that don’t have access to public funding - which actually in a way is worse than voting against it completely - it’s like telling your kid they can have an ice cream but when Mr Whippy says ‘one pound fify please’ you look at little Johnny and say ‘pay the man then’. My initial assessment of the utter cuntishness of the government has not altered.

Oh look how delighted he is. So delighted he forgot to mention he voted against this bill. Another reason, if it were needed, that I think this government are cunts.

I’m pleased for you - but the cunt dumped my family right in the shit. Newly self employed, but over 50% of the previous years wages were from employment, not self employment, so my old man got absolutely nothing. Not entitled to claim universal credit because my small wage made us ineligible. So for the last four months we’ve been living off one wage. And we are far from the only ones. So whilst he helped some people, a huge number fell through the cracks and are left with a right fucking financial mess. This entire government is a shower of corrupt, arrogant, incompetent shitty fucking cunts and they can all suck my balls. They’ve left my family in the shit, they show complete contempt for the general public, they can’t open their mouths without a torrent of absolute fucking shit coming out, his comments this week about care homes are sickening. I am a fairly open minded, tolerant and inclusive person, I don’t care what you look like, where you come from, what you fuck, blimey I don’t even care if you’re a Spurs fan but if you voted Tory you can get to fuck.

If the word CUNT had a face, it would be the face of Kanye West. And if the word CUNT had an asshole, it would be the face of Donald Trump. I cannot think of a bigger pair of utter CUNTS.

I’m sure I’ve seen him somewhere else?

My intelligence is what makes me so sexy.

Aye that Pizza Express in Woking does a fine all you can eat lunchtime buffet so I hear.

My daughter just sent me that and this was my response ‘It’s actually ‘for fuck’s sake’ - for the sake of fuck - the sake belongs to fuck so there needs to be a possessive apostrophe‘. Interesting how we all interpret this differently. Of course for quickness it’s FUCKSAKE.

I don’t pray, but I’ll laugh my cock off when someone finally puts a hole between Trump’s eyes.

Serious face - I do enjoy a healthy reasoned debate, where people can put their arguments rationally, civilly and agree that we can think different but still be chums. So thanks for that I equally enjoy telling people they are stupid twats and their opinion is worthless so normal service will be resumed shortly

Again I agree with what you say, but government must be held to account for their lies, deceit and blatant disregard for the public that, to use an irritating term, pays their fucking wages. There are selfish twats in every country but what’s the common denominator? UK - lying cunt for a leader, society full of arseholes. USA - lying orange cunt for a leader, society full of fucking Neanderthals. New Zealand - highly respected leader, where’s the stories of arsehole population there? It’s not a coincidence. Your analogy of being a kid is absolutely right - if you’re dragged up by parents that don’t give a fuck and treat you like shit, chances are you’ll turn out a cunt. If you’re parented with boundaries, fairness and respect, you’ll probably turn out decent. The U.K has drawn the short straw of being spawned from the bollocks of Boris.

Obviously, I love being stabbed with a long weapon. A harpoon.

I do agree with this but if the government were actually honest with the numbers of cases, deaths and testing perhaps people would take it a bit more seriously. The public do have to take responsibility but when they see cunts like Cummings doing what he likes and Johnson et al fudging the figures, it’s no wonder people think fuck this I’m off to the beach.

Neither of these are going anytime soon - I saw the Happy Mondays before Christmas and then went to An Evening with Shaun Ryder in January - Bez’s knees are shot to fuck and Shaun looks like a bag of shite but neither looked 2020-pointsworthy.

It’s on Twitter too. So it must be true.

RA is alive.

I’m afraid I feel the same about ‘cunto’. Why bother wasting all that breath on an extra syllable? You could fit in an extra fuck, twat or shite with that.

You sick bastard. After of course.