Lard Bazaar

I got caught red handed in a threesome with Richard Whiteley and Gyles Brandreth in Dictionary Dell.

Hey, I got a night in a top Leeds hotel AND met Jenny Hanley off Magpie - I think we know who the winner is here, pal. Also two Sun front pages, I think that makes me at least C list

That’s bollocks, my posts are fucking brilliant and everyone thinks I’m a cunt.

Barbecue sauce on pizza and kebabs are the fucking tits man, there is something wrong with you lot.

Ayers Rock wouldn’t.

So, it would probably fall over then if, say, a plane or two flew into it?

Fucking too right, it was boiling hot and Rome was teeming with fucking hot half-naked dirty Italian man-quim, I was dripping like a fucked fridge mate!

I’ve got about three tons of titanium in my left leg, and I was also very disappointed not to have set the security alarm off going into the Colloseum

Your tattoo or your cock?

There is a Spurs fan right here on our forum and he has a tiny cock tattoo.

Oh I didn’t see it, I’ve not watched much telly lately. I shall iplayer it to vigorously watch later

This is particularly sad because it wasn’t a race, it was a track day where any old Tom Dick or Barry Sheene can go and ride around the track.

No.

She’s a cunt and no mistake.

Funniest thing we’ve watched in ages. Proper laugh out loud. I had a crush on Joe Gilgun before but now it’s huge

There is absolutely NO FUCKING WAY I’m looking for anything on my dad’s old hard drive.

This has depressed me actually because all the racing has been cancelled so far this year and I’m really missing it. No shitting in a bucket in the back of the Vivaro at Silverstone for me this year

That’s because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him, fit as a fiddle and all his marbles. Well, as many marbles as anyone else that’s mental enough to do the TT, so probably not many actually

Oh come on, being in your 60s was probably great fun! My dads in his 60s, deaf as a post and spends his sunny afternoons riding around in his Mazda with the roof down, spends his evenings on the phone to me moaning about everything in the entire world.

Was that your favourite age to be as well?

The only period dramas that get watched in our house is when I’m on rag week.

Throw in a pound of tripe and you’re on

I’m not googling THAT on my work laptop.

Aye thank you. I’m here all week, tickets for the meat raffle a pound a strip.

Are you out of your tiny mind? Emmerdale Farm what a load of old shit and as for Coronation Shit it’s just a bunch of Northerners being fucking Northern ‘I say what I like and I like what I bloody well say’ Geoffrey Boycott Jayne MacDonald Paul fucking Daniels and Def Cunting Leopard they can all FUCK OFF. Love a bit of Enders though.