Lard Bazaar

This is my great-great-great-uncle. All I know is that he was a bit crap with money, a trait my brother has inherited in abundance. I realise I’ve cheated a bit as it’s not an actual photo but oh well. And there might be another great in there. I need to check with my dad but he’s asleep, deaf and forgetful.

Hi Ali, Thank you. PS All decided, but we don't know the sex of it yet... PPS You can do, but I have a feeling I might be at an advantage with guessing the name... We should do a sweepstake on the weight and date. I guess 17 March, weighing 7 lb 4 oz.

There’s probably a thread for her but I can’t find it, Pamela Anderson’s fourth marriage is done and dusted after 12 days

Jesus, what a glutton for punishment (I was definitely in no way whatsoever born in Swindon.....)

You live in Norfolk for fucksake!

I use choon and proving your point, I’m also a wanker.

That of course should have said chonged off his tits, sorry, I’m eating a jumbo sausage and not concentrating. Just thought I’d pop in and have a look around

I saw the Happy Mondays in Frome on Wednesday, not my usual tipple but the old man wanted to go, as it was he ended up immobile with gout so I went with my best mate, it was OK, I didn’t know any songs well enough to sing along but still a fun night, undoubtedly the star of the show was Rowetta, for a lady in her 50s she looks fucking FIT AS FUCK and has a voice strong enough to make your balls shrivel and die, I was totally impressed by her, and of course the maraca-wielding Bez who still looked chonged off his tits, did his dancing thing but age is obviously showing as he had knee supports on both legs under his shorts and he kept having to go off for a little sit down.

Urgh, I was absolutely convinced I’d have a unique in Tim Smith. Great work Spade!

Fuck ‘em all Mary, your pool, your rules, nobody’s forced to play. Now please can you make a rule that I win for once

I don’t know, but apparently this is a quote from a Color Climax film and it is said on an almost daily basis in our house, along with (in a German accent) me - ‘how do you like my asshole, Ray’ - husband ‘I’ll tell you when I’ve stuck my cock in it’. The perils (or benefits?) of living with a man who’s dad brought him up in a very open-minded 70s household! ETA My old man is not called Ray.

He’s a very good doctor, you know.

Why would I? I couldn’t give a fuck who does it, I’m hardly ever here. Not much to moderate anyhow is there, it’s hardly a pit of raving debauchery here nowadays. Despite not posting for a few months I did keep reading the forums and, with the exception of a few long-time regular posters who are informative, intelligent and witty, it appears to be the same posters spouting the same old boring bollocks. Anybody can moderate when there’s fuck all TO moderate.

They are fabulous, finally saw them a few years back in Bristol after years of saying I would, enjoyed them on the telly last night. I think they’re rather under-rated.

Tim Smith (frontman of The Cardiacs) - joker Diana Athill (author) Leah Bracknell (Emmerdale Farm actress) Ralph Clarke (very old paedo) Clarissa Eden (widow of Anthony) Jill Gascoine (actress) Gaston Glock (gun guy) Clive James Olivia Newton-John Gudrun Ure (Supergran) Brian Urquhart (World War 2 guy) Donald Trump (orange twat) Demi Lovato (singer) Terry Jones (Monty Python) Gladys Knight (singer) Lil Xan (rapper, apparently) Julie Goodyear (Coronation Street actress) Vera Lynn Dave Prowse (tall actor) Bob Hawke (Australian former pm)

I’m a big maiden fan but had totally missed this, you could have made a good shout there!

Paul Di’Anno interesting pick!

Thoughts with you all drol.

Does anyone actually know the words to Auld Lang Syne? I don’t, and i especially don’t after two bottles of champagne

The winning team revealed Tim Smith (frontman of The Cardiacs) - joker Diana Athill (author) Leah Bracknell (Emmerdale Farm actress) Ralph Clarke (very old paedo) Clarissa Eden (widow of Anthony) Jill Gascoine (actress) Gaston Glock (gun guy) Clive James Olivia Newton-John Gudrun Ure (Supergran) Brian Urquhart (World War 2 guy) Donald Trump (orange twat) Demi Lovato (singer) Terry Jones (Monty Python) Gladys Knight (singer) Lil Xan (rapper, apparently) Julie Goodyear (Coronation Street actress) Vera Lynn Dave Prowse (tall actor) Bob Hawke (Australian former PM)

Good wishes to you and yours

Happy New Year wherever you are. I’m at home eating sweets, watching Crocodile Dundee and about to crack open a bottle of champagne. Good wishes to you

Well let’s hope some of them have the decency to come up Trumps!

Thanks for your efforts Mary!