Lard Bazaar

It’s probably been said before but PLEASE can someone rectify that fucking spelling in the title, it makes my teeth itch.

Fucksake what does this glowing bag of dicks need to do for someone to take him out? I got arrested TWICE in the same day JUST for being pregnant and hormonal, how come he gets away with this uber-giant level of shithousery with seemingly no consequence?

Fucking hell, at that age one can only imagine the size of your ears, nose and nutbag. Happy belated birthday!

I’m still getting daily emails from P&O encouraging me to book a summer cruise, when it is almost inevitable that the one I already have booked for May (booked in October 2019) will be cancelled.

Supergrass at the Cheese and Grain in Frome on 1st February 2020.

Similarly I, and no doubt others including the good man Maryport, are very much missing live music. This is the longest I’ve been without a gig of some sort for ages.

Absolutely fucking right. In my defence though he was on my list last year, and possibly the year before that.

My first hit. I told y’all bitches, go home.

I agree about home working, employers have now realised that some roles can be done entirely from home with no difference in the service or quality delivered, and indeed speaking for myself, I am much more productive working from home. My employers also got a fucking bargain out of me, I kept timesheets last year and on average I was working an extra full day a week for free. Less overheads for employers, more productive and happier employees, they’d be daft not to make it the norm for those roles where it’s possible. I acknowledge that not everybody will be able to and that I am in quite a fortunate position.

Not a chance - we are supposed to be going to see the rescheduled Guns N Roses gig at Tottenham FC in June, 80 thousand people packed into a stadium in six months time? Never gonna happen.

Not yet, I have another two days off

Fausto Gresini, MotoGP team boss, being woken from induced coma but still very ill with the covids

Nothing wrong with either of them, I saw the D 18 months ago, rocking like good’uns.

Oh stop moaning everyone! Just see it like this, if you think this list is shit and yours is much better, you can have the gloats come 31 December when you can say you beat the Deathlist at their own game! Now have a beer and pipe down

Well they’ve basically copied my DDP team

Didn’t even know he had a first child, and I’m practically related to him* *we had the same driving instructor

Kicking myself for forgetting James Whale.

It’s for the best - save yourself the heartache and humiliation of being trounced by my selection of surefire stiffs!

Doh! My gaydar has always been a bit off kilter!

Ooo get a room

Winning team submitted.

Now THAT is impressive!

No. Nobody related to me, and especially not me, would be so thick. For instance, especially not me would have thought up until about two years ago that the Elgin Marbles were marbles. Coincidentally though, and this is 100% true, MrLB2 does call me Baron Cumback, due to an incident between us when we were courting as teenagers. Happy New Year.

It was something to do with Cold War Steve, I can’t remember now, it was ages ago and I’m on my second bottle.

I once got a tweet liked by Sean Pertwee. So stick that up your hoop!