Lard Bazaar
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Content Count
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Days Won
137
Everything posted by Lard Bazaar
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DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis
Lard Bazaar replied to Lord Fellatio Nelson's topic in DeathList extra-curricular
At lunchtime I had a four egg omelette covered in lots of cheese, and this was pretty much the first solid thing to pass my lips (oooooer) since Friday night. I now have hot fucking magma streaming out my balloon knot. And the moral of this story is if you’re at all unsure of a fart’s intention, play it safe and clench. -
Oh I get ya, yes when you look at it that way I see your point.
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I think Tesco beans are far superior than the top brands, much juicier and tomatoier.
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Or gardener. Or teacher. Or welder. Or plumber. Oh flip this might get out of hand
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How old are you and are you a man or lady?
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Haha! This is funny especially as I’ve been a right mardy cunt the last few days. Don’t worry lads, I will soon be back to my amazingly witty intelligent likeable self but for now just bear with while I have a mental BLIP!
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Now you might as well be talking in Russian as I wouldn’t hVe the first clue how to do that
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Tuesday + Moët + Stella = ArgghahahahshsAaaaaaaaa
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Oi if you’re banned on here can you still read but just not post?
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Dec on Decanters
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Dec on Dodecahedrons
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This is likely true, however it doesn’t fit with this particular scenario does it, as I’m fucking a man, not a woman.
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Where Will The Next School Massacre Be?
Lard Bazaar replied to maryportfuncity's topic in DeathList Forum
Where will the next school massacre be? In a school obvs. -
Why beer is better than a man: Beer doesn’t fucking lie, so fuck off you twat.
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IRgh whybdi you keep changing the fucking forum! Fuck away and leave it Alone!
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Amazingly Gazza is the most likeable out of that shower of shit family, his ex-wife is a fucking dog that was happy to keep the famous surname to make cash out of her sob stories, ditto stepdaughter. Whoever thought a fucking mental alcy would be the upstandingist member of the family?
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Ooo little bit of politics there people! That was a good show wasn’t it, Saturday Live, and was it Friday Night Live too? And now what do we get, fucking some shitty talent show with singing dogs and dancing Romanians, and Paddy fucking McGuinness on a crappy fuckfest, he truly is a huge cunt that bloke.
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Might have to resort to that to pay the bills, there’s a market for weirdos who want to watch fat chicks crying into a multipack of hula hoops, right?
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Needs to be big to fill my gob.
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Can’t be bothered, my hands too busy holding my glass.
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Yeh but you’re probably a fit young fella, I’m a grossly overweight middle aged rough old bag. It’s too much like hard work all that swipe right bollocks. I’ve done my time, now it’s time to fade away quietly in a haze of bubbles!
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I’m forcing myself to stay in bed because I know as soon as I get up the bottle’s opening and I only have one so don’t want to peak too early
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No, I think we both like boys, don’t we? *apols if I have got this totally wrong! And actually I don’t like boys any more, they are all fucking snakes with dicks and can fuck off to the end of time.
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Did the clocks go forward? So technically it’s not too early to crack one open right?
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