Lard Bazaar
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Content Count
5,674 -
Joined
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Days Won
137
Everything posted by Lard Bazaar
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Not yet but by the time he comes to get it there will be additional amazing features like a hammer through the screen
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I could move to Portugal and leave them in a hotel room while I got tapas’ed to fuck with my chums, and then sell my soul to Max Clifford when my kids are peado’d to death by Sanchez McTaco. Bingo! Quids in!
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Nobody would buy them. Ones got big ears and the other’s wired up wrong. I love them both anyway, I don’t want to sell them really. And they’re adults so not sure about the laws on trading humans tbh
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It is out of the question I’m afraid. Guess I’ll just have to rely on all those strangers I shag off the Internet, eh Deathers?
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Ha ha! Obvs meant man hating. I don’t hate my nan although she wouldn’t know either way cos she’s dementia’d to the max
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I can’t believe nobody else is bolloxed and wants to indulge in nan hating bantz with me!
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Oh hurrah I haven’t been in here for a while, I suppose it’s a bit early for everyone else to be spangled is it? Well the wedding went without a hitch between the people that hated each other, can’t say the same for those of us who didn’t realise what a monumental fucking ass they were living with oh that will be me then. Bottoms up!
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I know I know - shack up with a prick who turns out to be the biggest fucking lying cunt in history then fucks off leaving you unable to pay your mortgage so you lose your house - BINGO, mortgage free!
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Every Friday I transfer the odds on my bank balance to round it down to the nearest fiver to a savings account, you don’t notice the amount gone and soon enough you’ve got a little pile of cash to waste on beer.
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If we were still doing those awards (were they called The Monkeys?) this would get my vote for post of the year
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FTFY
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I concur, and only wish I was married so I could divorce the cunt.
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Not the one we use, just knocked up a business letterhead as a sole trader and showed them a bank statement and boom I’m buying 36 packs of Frazzles within minutes
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He could do a tribute to Richard O’Sullivan, Dec on Dick.
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Use a Cash and Carry. I get a 5 kg pack of 18 fat juicy chicken breasts for twenty quid, individually wrap them and bung them in the freezer. They last me ages. Also I buy bog roll, laundry liquid and canned soft drink in bulk for much cheapness.
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True enough. And Les Dennis’s balls have been on Amanda Holden’s chin.
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Yeh but to be fair Les Dennis is a cunt and they were nowhere near as good at what they did as Ant and Dec are.
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I don’t know how old you are so I don’t know if this is a compliment or not
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Stupid/funny/cool/outrageous/scary/weird/crazy Stuff You Read/saw In The News/on The Internet
Lard Bazaar replied to Dr. Zorders's topic in DeathList extra-curricular
Well, my post WAS in fact a joke about Jon Snow, however the joke’s on me because I have indeed mixed up Jon and Peter -
I thought everyone of a certain age knew who Katie Boyle was but when I just mentioned her death to the old man (aged 47 and a quarter) he’s no idea who she is.
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Stupid/funny/cool/outrageous/scary/weird/crazy Stuff You Read/saw In The News/on The Internet
Lard Bazaar replied to Dr. Zorders's topic in DeathList extra-curricular
How do the yanks know who Jon Snow is? Does he do his swingometer thing for US elections? -
Champagne. The bubbles get you right pissed dead quick.
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A few different stories going round as to be expected but some saying his mum was in the car with him, if true why the fuck would she let him drive in that state? I feel for him as he’s obviously going through some sort of mental breakdown however there is no justification for drinking and driving. It’s a shame he seems to be on a journey of self destruction because whether they are to your taste or not, Ant and Dec are extremely good at what they do.
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Also, saying ‘I couldn’t give a flying fuck’ is much more pleasing on the ear
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Breaching the rules a bit but ‘I could care less’. FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THAT.
