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VileBody

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Posts posted by VileBody

  1. Posted

    So let me get this straight. They have this high tech plating on the shuttle which stops them turning into chargrilled burger on re-entry. It presumably takes a gazillion dollar factory plant about 6 months to make this stuff and stick it on the bodywork. They're now going to rummage about in the tool box to find some spare plates that are sort of the right shape. They're going to get them to fit using the commander's nail file, then they nip outside with gloves the size of baseball mitts and a tube of superglue and everything'll be fine...

     

    Yeah. Right.

     

    I return to my earlier point - glad I don't drive the bloody thing

  2. Posted

    Has anyone noticed that no-one's got a clue how old these Saudi maniacs actually are? I've seen the age of the new Crown Prince given as 76, 77 and 81 so far - and that was only in the first 3 articles I read about it!

     

    Sad to see such great statesmen and goat herds pass into the hereafter...but this was a bad miss

  3. Posted

    If it haven't allready been reported here it is..

     

    King Fahd dead at 84. http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/article.ad...801033109990004

    Have I missed the thread wailing about how ON EARTH we missed this lovely charming world leader???

     

    By the way has anyone noticed that no-one's got a clue how old these maniacs actaully are? I've seen the age of the new Crown Prince given as 76, 77 and 81 so far - and that was only in the first 3 articles I read about it.

  4. Posted

    Yes you may be right - but I rather doubt it given that I believe they have to do a wee bit of training before they fly the thing. Or maybe they don't and that's one reason it keeps crashing.

     

    Mrs VileBody says that she wishes I had a very large private income...

  5. Posted

    I think you may be confusing Henry I (the lamprey gobbler) with the Duke of Clarence who allegedly (ie as suggested by the Tudor propagandist, W. Shakespeare in Richard III) was dropped in a "butt of malmsey [wine]". Note, however, that this was after being stabbed rather than as a method of drowning him.

  6. Posted

    Before the space shuttle, the only NASA fatalities were the Apollo 1 crew, who died in a  ground accident. Apollo 13 was a close shave, though. Of course, compared to the space shuttle the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo spacecraft were much simpler machines.

    Quite a lot of other astronauts have died in jet crashes when they fly themselves between training centres etc. Apparently they tend to like dogfighting with each other in supersonic fighters for a laugh....

     

    Anyway, glad I don't have to drive the bloody shuttle for a living. Bet I get paid more than those daft buggers too....

  7. Posted

    I'm no engineer but you'd have thought a basic requirement of most forms of high speed transport is that bits don't fall off it too often. Maybe better glue?

     

    According to Tom Wolfe's book, The Right Stuff, the original astronauts had a much higher chance of dying when they were test pilots on prototype jets than when they were doing the space missions - the remaining test pilots got quite pissed off about it not surprisingly.

     

     

    Isn't it nice not being hungover sometimes...

  8. Posted

    Presumably guys like Spencer are getting on a bit (already gone??).

     

    After all 70's snooker player must be one of the worst health life-style choices going other than coal mining and bomb-disposal. Oh, and darts.

  10. Posted

    Posh and Becks are met by their driver at Heathrow on their return from a week in New York:

     

    "Stay anywhere good in New York, Mr Beckham?"

     

    "Yeah, it was like really nice - I'm trying to remember its name...here, I know, wassa name of that famous London railway station?"

     

    "Er, Waterloo, Sir?"

     

    "Nah...not that one..."

     

    "Charing Cross? Paddington?"

     

    "Nah..."

     

    "Kings Cross? Liverpool Street? Victoria?"

     

    "Victoria! That's it, brilliant! - Victoria, wassa name of that hotel what we stayed in?"

    • Haha 1

  12. Posted

    There were two guys sitting on a bench who both suffered from parkinsons disease. And one said to the other 'Hey look, theres an ice cream seller over there. Would you like an ice cream?'

    The second guy said yes, he wanted an ice cream with a flake, sprinkles and strawberry juice. So the first man goes away for it.

     

    He comes back with an ice cream with a flake in it. The second man asks, 'Hey, weres my spinkles and juice?'. The first man says oh right, so you wanted an icecream with a flake, sprinkles and strawberry juice. 'Yes' replies the second man. So he goes off to get the additions he needs.

    He comes back 5 minutes later. This time he has the ice cream with the flake and sprinkles but no juice. 'Christ Sake', shouts the second man - 'wheres the juice I wanted'. So the first man goes away again to get the juice.

    After 5 minutes he finally returns. The ice cream was perfect. 'Right' said the first man - 'One Icecream with a flake, spinkles and strawberry juice'.

     

    The Second man looks back at him puzzled and says - 'Wheres my chips?'

     

    (I think this joke may be better face to face)

    Isn't this meant to be Alzheimer's rather than Parkinson's....? Maybe I've missed something....

     

    By the way, re frog's I don't think it's more interesting than that they eat frog's legs - cf: "garlic-chewers", "snail-eaters" etc

  13. Posted

    I'm sure someone has done this before but the average death age for the last few years (lists since 2001) is 90. If you take out the cancer victims (ie. Everson, Sheene, Diamond in their 50's) the average comes up to about 91-2.

     

    So unless you've got warning of a terminal illness there's not much point backing anyone under about 85 in my view.

     

    This also supports my long-standing blathering about celebs living longer because they tend to be rich and able to afford medical care, good diets etc.

  14. Posted

    I always thought it rather touching that John Le Mesurier found life without drink so miserable (and, as you say, he looks it in the later TV shows) that apparently his family all went along with him going back on the bottle in his final years so he could have a happier, if shorter life!

  15. Posted

    I hate to state the obvious about Clive Dunn, but when he played the coffin dodging Corporal Jones in Dad's Army he was in his mid-forties and, er, wore a lot of make up to look like he was in his seventies....it's hardly likely you'd have got a 70+ actor to do some of the stunts Jones does in the show.

     

    Most of the other actors pretty much played their real ages (I think John Laurie was the oldest, being already 70-something when the show started in the 1960's. I believe he had actually more or less retired after a long career as a serious classical stage actor when he was cast).

     

    Anyway, the point is that while the great Mr Dunn may now be within range of Death List candidature, it was a bit premature putting him on in the '80s when he was barely 60. Confusion seems to have arisen out of his making a career from playing old gits and overlooking the fact that he was 20-30 years younger than his contemporaries in Dad's Army.

     

    Of course the other reason he has outlived most of the rest of the cast is that many of them were heroic drinkers of the old school and were not likely to last that long anyway.

  16. Posted

    Didn't Georg Solti die on the same day as Diana?

    Not quite.

    Solti died on 5/9/97, Diana on 31/8/97

    That's right - same day as mother teresa then! God, they were dropping like flies that week...those were the days...

  21. Posted

    While we're on the subject of Paul McCartney, I read yesterday that the late and blessed Linda arranged to have her £150m estate probated in New York through some fancy tax planning. Despite having lived most of her life in the UK the estate was therefore exempt from Inheritance Tax.

     

    This meant that Sir "I-want-to-help-little-black-babies" Paul and the gorgeous pouting Stella were better off by about £60m. At the expense of British taxpayers, ie: me and the other bloke who doesn't work for the Government. Who will now no doubt have to cough up even more dough to buy a couple of extra Mercs for Robert Mugabe.

     

    Just to put all this crashing hypocrisy and naked greed in context, the first Live Aid raised £50m.

  23. Posted

    Or presumably that we bang on about someone so much that we get higher up the Google list?

     

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

    Paul McCartney's a wan*er!

     

     

    etc....

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