BORLEYRECTORY

forget my feeble attempts at humour but the "ufo" events i listed are 100% true.i am certain that whatever i saw back in the 80's (even at the age of 10) was not possible by human hand.however i do doubt the existence of classical ufo's as shown in the popular media.they would have made a more meaningful approach to us by now rather than be content at hovering over some irrelevant part of the world.surely if the arguement is they do not wish to interfere but merely observe then they would, by virtue of the fact they have develoed faster than light propulsion,have reached a developmental point enabling them to be truely invisible and not spinning in the sky flashing like gary glitter at a scouts camp site.time travel into the past is another impossible.why are we not being visited by anyone.after all, trillions of years are lying ahead of us so in all that time SOMEONE if not millions of people would have wanted to come back even to this dull as ditch water point in time.i think something bad happens to the human race/earth before we reach the point we are able to invent a time machine.an asteroid collision or nuclear war perhaps?

HELLO RAT FANS ! Borley here to get this thread back on track.Chris will indeed be round Pats rear this weekend.I have it on good authority he has polished his 9" with one of his magic cleaning cloths (patricks soiled dung hampers). i will say in response to the earlier posts regarding ufo's and the like,that i did witness a couple of weird night sky happenings when i was a lad.one involved two starlike points of light coliding and producing a third which proceeded to descend to the horizon (aeroplane crash? i dont think so some how) and the other was another star shaped point of light moving in a random direction across large tracts of the night sky at a speed which was not possible by human design.(all true) patrick seems to be in good health from my own observations using my olympus 500mm telephoto slr but i cannot explain what a small taiwanese boy was doing dressing up as chris lintot and "dancind" for patrick in a sexy stylee

I loved this guy in romancing the stone.but i really thought he was older?

yes you guessed it.i am patrick! how the devil are you my fellow stargazers.hope you dont mind me playing a silly little game but its a bit lonely what with me up in my loft staring through high powered bino's at windo...er i mean stars! yes yes thats right stars (please add an incoherant mumble after every word) ROD......RODNEY......RODNEY HULL!!!!!! I AM COMMING!!!!!!!

I promise you that i spoke to Patrick not 24 hours ago and he is in excellent shape.Yes he is sluring his words a bit more but if you look closely of late he has been wearing some new massive dentures which i assume are his spair set while he gets his nice little ones fixed or something. i cannot reveal why i call my-self borleyrectory but those who know a bit about the place (as it seems you do) will know what i mean when i say i am related to the grey monk!!!!!!!

HEY GUYS PATRICK HERE! Using borleys computer as he and i are best buds.just to put your minds at ease i am in top shape.The human beatboxing has left me feeling chipper! off to the tent makers now for a fitting for me new slacks.byeeeeee! keep on truckin and remember.........Rod hulls eyeballs are delicious.

STOP PRESS!! Just seen Patrick out bodypopping on my street corner! when i enquired about his health he proceeded to become a "human beatbox" and rapped me out a string of mutha fu@kers and sutch.definately on the mend i'd say!

I can tell you all right now why Patrick is on the list.Its obvious to anyone with means of eyes and a brain.Number 1= Patrick is an old man who is already past the average life expectancy of an average male in the UK.Number 2= Patrick is by his own admission "not long for this world,body shutting down etc etc..." if all you PM lovers regard the old chap with any genuine degree of intelligence then this gift straight from the "horse gnashers mouth" seals the argument.Oh and number 3,he is famous.And of course what the great man gets up to is worth knowing!! hence the autobiography.I actually know the guy as i arrange the imports of his hamsters and insertion tubes

Sorry for the shouting earlier everyone.If some of you have a vested financial interest in the demise of PM why not simply go round his house one evening dressed as a policeman (beadle style with crap beard and polio hand) and claim your here to take him into custody for wearing those hilarious 'nipster' trousers and those horses teeth gnashers he occasionally wears (are these the same ones as dennis watermans?) No doubt the idea of spending his last few years with Bubba in a cell will finish him off.(if you do this you are cruel and deserve to eat rod hulls decaying eyeballs.

NEW MEMBER NEW QUESTIONS! FIRSTLY WE ALL KNOW WE LOVE PATRICK,BUT THERE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS THAT NEED TO BE ANSWERED.IF,AS HE SAYS HE HAS REMAINED SINGLE SINCE HIS SWEET HEART DIED FROM ADOLFS WARMONGERY THEN WHAT PREY TELL HAS PAT BEEN JIZZING INTO/OVER THE LAST 60 YEARS?? I FOR ONE RECKON HIS UNDERSTUDY ON THE SKY AT NIGHT (THE GARETH KEENAN FROM THE OFFICE DOPPLEGANGER) IS WELL USED TO POINTING HIS 15" REFLECTOR AROUND PATS BLACK HOLE.