Tuber Mirum

As LFN so rightly suggested I have a plane to catch so I'll come out with the solution now. It is perfectly simple. I was contractually obliged to play in the band for the national anthems at the friendly game against Chile, the one which was cancelled. The gig came in at very short notice and as I had already booked the tickets for me (and the ******) to fly to London for DL ConIII I was obliged to pay someone else to do the job for me. But since the game was cancelled on account of Enke's death, I have been saved the expense.

I'll tell you later on, not that it's that interesting. In the meantime keep guessing. Madame D's attempt was brilliant but I reckon Yvonne could still top it.

No, I was already in Hannover the day Enke died. And I have an alibi. He wasn't you landlord was he? You are right. He wasn't.

So did Robert Enke.

Given the preponderance of level crossings and motorcycles in the recent undoings of prominent goalkeepers, I thought I'd share this sad story with you, told to me by an old man with whom I was standing in the pub when I heard that Robert Enke had died. Said old man had a father who in 1941 was a young fellow somewhat given to riding around on a motorcycle. One tragic day in the aforementioned year, the father of my friend (whom I shall call Martin, for that is his name) was out on his motorcycle and approaching a level crossing and seeing that the barriers were going down because a train was approaching, duly applied the brakes and came to a stop before the level crossing in full accordance with the relevant articles of the traffic laws of the Deutsche Reich as applied to level crossings, trains, motorcycles and suchlike. After a while the train passed and the barriers went back up, but sadly, and indeed tragically for Martin's father, the signalman whose job it was to operate the barriers did not have a full view of the railway lines and consequently remained unaware of the single locomotive steaming the other way along the second track, hidden by the passing train. As the barrier was raised, Martin's father resolved to continue his journey and resolutely letting in the clutch proceeded carefully over the level crossing, only to have his trip and indeed his existence decisively and irrevocably terminated by the oncoming locomotive. History does not relate whether or not this man had ever stood in goal anywhere before meeting his untimely end at the hands of a locomotive..

No, I was already in Hannover the day Enke died. And I have an alibi.

The friendly against Chile has been cancelled, so you'll get your money back from the bookies? Close, but no cigar. If I'd had a bet on the game I might have gained some money. You were down to miss the game - but since it's been cancelled? you are not now using your holiday entitlement since everyone is credited with having played at the game weither or not they were down to turn out for it? That's the closest yet, but it's still pretty far from being right.

No, that's getting colder again. In a way.

Frying tonight. Even the normally vocal anti-death penalty folks have been fairly muted on this one. Good riddance. I fail to see why opponents of the death penalty should suddenly support it in a case such as this in which: 1. There is a certain amount of doubt as to whether he did it and 2. Even if he did do it, he is likely to be suffering from some sort of mental illness. Opponents of the death penalty consider it cruel and immoral and are unlikely to suddenly turn round and support it in any case whatsoever. If he were a white guy and if his name hadn't been Mohammed the whole thing would have looked completely different. Did you know he was tried specially in Virginia because they are particularly keen on executing (black) people there?

The friendly against Chile has been cancelled, so you'll get your money back from the bookies? Close, but no cigar. If I'd had a bet on the game I might have gained some money. You'd promised someone you'd try to get tickets to the game and now you don't have to? No, I could have got free tickets if I'd needed them.

Nah, stick him on your team. You never know.

The friendly against Chile has been cancelled, so you'll get your money back from the bookies? Close, but no cigar. If I'd had a bet on the game I might have gained some money.

Here's a death related conundrum. The death of German national goalkeeper Robert Enke has saved me some money. Who can guess why?

The Bild "newspaper" as always tasteful and respectful with a full frontal picture of the train after it killed him.

Nice avatar Alph. I used to have one just like it.

So I've closed the poll and am listing the results as they were last Saturday at midnight: HCW's Limerick [ 2 ] ** [11.11%] Monoclinic's poem [ 1 ] ** [5.56%] Godot's Golden Brown [ 1 ] ** [5.56%] LFN's Bollocks [ 0 ] ** [0.00%] MPFC's poem [ 0 ] ** [0.00%] Body Snatcher's limerick [ 0 ] ** [0.00%] time's John Kettley [ 0 ] ** [0.00%] LFN's Banshees Poem [ 0 ] ** [0.00%] Yvonne's Christmas Poem [ 6 ] ** [33.33%] NAP's A Childhood Trauma [ 1 ] ** [5.56%] Hein's double dactyl [ 1 ] ** [5.56%] Madame Defarge's Portsmouth & Brussels [ 5 ] ** [27.78%] Robert Books' The Deserter [ 1 ] ** [5.56%] What's the prize?

Suicide by train crash apparently, probably leading to some sort of bacterial infection :-) It's the topic of the moment here in Hannover. He's had a hard time of it recently what with his daughter dying and his being ill and everything. The speculation on the street says it could be that his illness turned out to be something very nasty and terminal. Clearly throwing onesself in front of a train is also terminal. Not to mention very nasty, in particular for the train driver and the people who have to scrape up your remains. There are many more social ways of killing yourself.

No, one of the votes for Madame D. came in after the deadline. I certainly didn't fix the competition even if the number of votes cast doesn't tally with the number stated under the poll. I also didn't vote for myself, so I'll agree something fishy must have happened.

I believe someone who is Prime Minister of Britain should simply be able to spell and to produce halfway decent handwriting when the moment demands it. Nobody expects anything other than a standard letter from the PM when their nearest and dearest fall in action and if he was even slightly organised he could have some prepared beforehand. It would make a better impression than an illiterate scrawl anyway. Literacy is not much to ask from our leaders. Most ordinary people can still write properly, even though looking at many people's Facebook pages in the UK it is clearly on a steep decline. He doesn't have to be Enoch Powell, but somebody in a position of authority should be able to set us all an example. Otherwise he has no business being Prime Minister. Given his spelling, I wonder if the former Chancellor of the Exchequer has a grasp of basic arithmetic? PS: I sat next to Gordon Brown on a train once, back in the '80s. He was with some of his cronies. First off I was impressed to see him travelling second class and secondly they appeared to be takling sense. Of course that was back in the days when labour was still a people's party.

So there you have it. Yvonne wins, albeit without an absolute majority. A number of coalitions would be possible, with or without Yvonne.

Died Claude Levi Strauss Or if you prefer it in French

So there it is. At the moment Mono is in the lead. Saturday at midnight GMT all right as a deadline?

Should we create a poll, perhaps with a deadline? Or should we just let Yvonne decide?

I found one of those in the plughole of the bath recently.

What a load of nonsense. Godot should know better than to make such ridiculous remarks. Another subject I'd love to go into more detail about if only I weren't so damned tired. Not to mention drunk. Still, it seems you're in good company.