Tuber Mirum

True, it isn't always the case, but today I'm feeling quite happy. It is the weekend after all. Considering my age and sedentary habits, I don't look too bad, I think. I don't know who gives a sh*t. Some do, some don't. Peace and joy to all.

Examining Bruno Brimley for weirdness sounds a bit like examining a dog for doggieness.

On the other hand, this 111-year-old lady says no drink, no ciggies and plenty of porridge and sweeties are a certain recipe for longevity. And she didn't mention sex at all. EDIT: On re-reading the article I noticed she resides in Aberdeen's Royal Cornhill Hospital, a well-known lunatic asylum. So her evidence would be unlikely to be admissible in a court of law. /EDIT

On the other hand, the balance between posts discussing what is appropriate or not, and the actual content ought also to be maintained. I'd be for keeping this one. Odd though Brimley is, some of us are genuinely concerned for his welfare. Mary was just a bit pished the other night. It happens to the best of us. Threads which don't turn out to be popular will go the way of Natural Selection, as that one about meat is already doing. I'm pretty sure there is already a "Where do Deathlisters Come From" Thread. If I can find it, I'll merge it with the Maryport one. Carpet Slippers, chaps.

No, I think not dying until you are very very old is the secret to a long life. According to Mr. Allingham, the secret is whisky, Woodbines and Wild Women. So most of us should get a good innings then. Gordon Brown attempts to poison Alligham with a cheap bottle of HoC whisky.

Not to mention the large dent it would make in the UK's Heroin consumption statistics.

The daft thing about most of those town websites is that they don't actually tell you where the bloody place is. Could be Benbecula for all the information they give you. A bit of recearch brought forth the information that it's in Somerset. Which reminded me of the time I got pished in The Old Library in Taunton. At the time, I was considering writing a story about a bookshop which doubled as a pub in the evening, so I was more than a little astounded to run into this place with all the bookshelves hanging from the roof, just like I'd imagined. Naturally I had to have a couple of drinks to settle my nerves.

I am shocked by this attack on the gorgeous ultimate uber-female that is Sarah Michelle Gellar, whom I consider to be the sexiest, most beautiful woman on the planet. Quite shocked. My day is darkened. So sorry I upset you in such a way Mr. Baiter. I realise I may be doing Ms Gellar something of a disservice by describing her as "Bloody Stupid". I'll tell you what: I happen to think this matter is deserving of further investigation, so for the sake of your peace of mind and of my own education, I shall spend the next little while intensely scrutinising a number of photographic images of the said Ms. Gellar in the hope that my opinion of her may be revised in such a way as to engender your satisfaction. Can't say fairer than that now, can you?

Hey Weatherman! They've finally found a use for Barry Manilow's prolific output.

I got Megumi, Japan. I thought she looked pretty and friendly, I doubt this test was meant to be taken by females, so take my results with a pinch of salt, I'm sure us girls rate the models on friendliness and whether they look like they might be kind to animals I would take issue with the selectors for a couple of the teams. Firstly there must be millions of prettier girls in Japan than whoever that girl is, good-natured though she may be. Same goes for Korea, although she is quite a cutie. And the Americans would have had a 10000% better chance if they had selected Drew Barrymore instead of Bloody Stupid Sarah-Michelle Gellar. At the end of the day it was a penalty shoot-out between the Angolan lady and Mila Jovovic. I didn't stay to see how it ended. Probably Jovovic since she won more decisively in her semi-final. Her opponent could just have easily been the Korean candidate.

I remember there used to be a thread called "Does anyone actually like Windsor?" A question never satisfactorily answered. I wonder how many other anti-Windsor threads there are hanging around? He always seemed a personable enough chap to me. I don't know why he attracts such negative attention.

Special effects pioneer Arthur Widmer, inventor of the Blue Screen Effect, has died.

A superficial stylistic analysis (of the kind usually only employed to detect Brimley clones) points the finger fairly suggestively at the member Headstone.

The curse of the Dead keyboardists strikes again Right enough, it's a bit of a dead end job, it would seem.

No, because they would have a different name to you would they not? DWB I seem to remember this chap got pretty short shrift when he registered.

Well it is now tomorrow and we have heard nothing. I suggest we start with a thorough search of every pub in Twickenham. Then if that bears no fruit we could try asking a policeman.

Oh darling how can you say such things when just before this you said something entirely different? Give it a rest, Brimley.

Kenneth Kendall was on the list in 1989 and again in 2002. Richard Baker has had a mention here before. He was giving up some sort of charitable activities on account of advancing decrepitude. though I'm not sure he put it quite like that himself. Richard's Charitable Activities. Blimey look at the mugshots on that page! All right if you're blind I suppose.

It's that bloody Holy Ghost up to his old tricks again I'll bet. Just wait till his Dad finds out.

What are you insinuating, you horrid man?

Nonsense! Of course US law applies in Sweden!

Scsi! Have a particularly splendid birthday! And lots of well-paid gigs with free beer in the coming year.

The accusations against BHB are nothing but a red herring put about to distract attention from the real culprit. It is Brimley. He does it all the time. Remember sweet Molly Malone? Not to mention all those guests with ridiculous female names who popped up one after the other a while back? Brimley to a man. So to speak. As regards Captain of Industry's post, this 'ere may cast some light.

Agreed. It's a particularly good curse too, as people often think it's a compliment. Much looking forward to the finding of as many skeletons as possible. For £150k, I'd happily admit to all sorts of Prescott related filth, just don't expect me to perform grainy re-enactments for the camera with a Prescott double (for that extra touch of authenticity) unless I get a fair bit more than £150k. What a job that would be, a Prescott double; that's pretty much a quadruple by normal standards. I'm probably wrong Pulphack, but wasn't Roy Hattersley a deputy PM, or shadow deputy PM? Nothing new labour about the dribbling fatso talented public servant that I can recall! Hattersley's dad was a Catholic priest, if I remember correctly. Did anyone else see the edition of "Have I Got News for You" when Hattersley was supposed to be on the panel but didn't turn up and his place was taken by a tub of lard? I have it on vido along with the Paula Yates one (which is crap). The tub of lard did about as well as Hattersley might have been expected to do.

A quick-and-dirty calculation shows that, disregarding future inflation, that amount could keep one drunk for several years. Do it well, and you might not even live to spend it all. regards, Hein I'd shag Prescott for 150,000 quid. Does anyone bid less?