Tuber Mirum

Try telling that to Josco, our resident Northern pedant. Back in the good old days, we had a similar thread. Started by none other than the lost LPIII, with the purpose of having a go at the grammar of The Grim Reaper himself, believe it or not. (Whilst searching for that thread, I came upon the interestingly-named "Does anyone actually like Windsor?" thread. Sadly now dead and on the scrapheap under a pile of old cast-iron bathtubs. I'd forgotten about that one. )

Here's the epitaph for PDQ Bach (1807-1742): Here lies a man with sundry flaws And numerous Sins upon his head; We buried him today because As far as we can tell, he's dead.

I love a mouthful of well hung meat Washed down with a lovely rich full bodied Australian Shiraz. Ah yes. I could tell you the story of the pheasants with crispy rice stuffing. But I don't think I'll bother.

I remember a while back, it was impossible to write the word "python" on the forum. Dunno why. I've had my greasy paws on one of those Invision swear filters. Basically you can substitute anything for anything else, and you have the option to make it strict, so that C**t but only C**t turns out like it just did, or to have it changed even if it's part of another word, so Scunthorpe becomes Sc**thorpe. But there's no reason why "I am a Pirate King" couldn't be changed to "I am a Member of The Royal Forums (sic)", or even something worse.

very scientific. Since Mr Alive hasn't been seen for ages, let's see if the filter is working any better: (Had to guess what some of the words were in the original experiment) F*****g f****r f****n F*****t fuckwits (added by me) bollocks tits knob bugger <edit>Nope!</edit>

Happy Birthday Millwall! I can remember you from when you were still called WilliamBriggs and had never posted a poll. I believe you were the first DL member to have a name change, before the Name Shame thread even existed. Oh, for the good old days! Wasn't Dylan O'Connor a friend of yours? Whatever happened to her? She had quite a nice looking avatar. Enjoy your birthday and happy posting!

Such refined eloquence. Class. Sheer bloody class. Soave as F**k, is our Hein.

Or possibly a girlfriend, in my case. Any ladies interested in a pissed up misanthropic nobody with a very bad attitude? Don't all rush at once now. Tempus, did you ever meet Amanda? Nice girl.

Sad news indeed, HCW. My comiserations.

I sorted my CD's alphabetically once. Most of them ended up under "T" because most bands names begin with "The". So then I tried again leaving out the "The". And that worked out fine until I came to a CD from "The The" when I started getting a bit confused.

Great rant Ms. Guest with some good and informative points. Don't think many people can fault you on it. I'm particularly impressed by the word "mediocracy". Sounds like John Major's govenment.

That looks like another interesting challenge for the Deathlist Department of Speculative Etymology. Anybody seen Professor Pestilence recently?

We have "Black Beauty according to Spike Milligan" which at first glance looks like it might be a good read too, though I probably wouldn't appreciate it neither having read nor intending to ever read Black Beauty. Mind yous, there are some pretty big bits in the Bible I haven't got around to reading yet either. All that begetting gets pretty tedious after a while. On the subject of biblical parodies, I'll be tackling this chappie sometime soon, which Mrs N. said she enjoyed very much. Anyone else read it?

"Stable" is one of those things doctors say like "as well as can be expected". It could mean a number of things including "already dead and embalmed".

And then there was that pub landlady from Warwickshire who fell into a volcano. Sort of.

That BBC report describes a crowd of fans which came to support him in court. They only managed to get pictures of four of them though. The chap on the right looks a bit odd.

You could try getting run over by Norman in his Beamer.

Daresay I could. Probably.

Yes we do. I just did it. Or am I an Admin and didn't realise it? Oh dear! Some have greatness thrust upon them and all that.

I for my part am not sure that such persons may be regarded as gentlemen.

Sounds like a grand way of getting fired.

Doherty has once more escaped prison by the skin of his teeth. Time alone will tell if 18 months in rehab will make a new man of him or not.

You can calculate your life expectancy here. It's a bit like the deathclock, I suppose. Who was that academic chappie called Aubrey Beardsley or similar who said people can live to be 1000? Don't hear so much of him recently. Perhaps he's dead? edit: Here he is. /edit I'm trying to find an article I read on the BBC ages ago about long life. It said among other things that either eldest sons of large families or youngest sons live longer. Can't remember which. This isn't it either, but contains the following snippet which may be of use in our calculations:

Aye lad, 'appen we missed a couple o' good'uns at t' start o' t' year like, but at t' moment no bugger noteworthy is dying, so 'tis them, not us.

I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or not there, Mr. Pulphack. Been in Germany too long probably. I do try to be funny sometimes, if in a humble, deadpan sort of a way. It hasn't always gone down well with the Germans in the past. This is one I'm quite proud of, from this very thread as it happens. (Tempus Fugit didn't like it at all.)