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Tuber Mirum

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Everything posted by Tuber Mirum

  1. Tuber Mirum

    The Dead Of 2013

    I met him once. I used to play in concerts in the old Krupp villa, Villa Hügel to which he occasionally came. That's a brilliant place where as a privileged person I was able to sit behind Krupp's enormous desk and imagine him receiving Hitler there. I often went up the huge staircase with one arm behind my back as I imagine the Führer must have done (a posture Hitler copied from Kaiser Wilhelm who did it because he had a withered arm). Krupp didn't like Hitler; he found him a bit too common. The story of the Krupp family is really interesting. The reason why Berthold Beitz took over the firm is because the actual heir of the Krupp family, pouf-célèbre Arndt_von_Bohlen_und_Halbach was completely useless and forewent his inheritance for the good of everyone. Very interesting chap though and well worth reading up on.
  2. Tuber Mirum

    Barbara Windsor

    Well I have just watched Who Do You Think You Are with Barbara Windsor and would like to pronounce her as being in the Rudest of Good Health. I had to google her and was a bit distraught not to say distressed to learn that she is over 70. She is definitely Well Fit and I hereby predict that she will do for a good few years yet. Thus Spake Tuber Mirum.
  3. Tuber Mirum

    Death List Convention

    So that's a no then?
  4. Tuber Mirum

    Death List Convention

    Does it absolutely have to be a weekend?
  5. Tuber Mirum

    Death List Convention

    The last weekend in September is fine for me too. That's not to say something won't come up.
  6. Tuber Mirum

    Death List Convention

    Hm. The only good date in August for me is the first weekend. When LG can't be there Another possibility might be the 31.08/01.09 or the weekend after that (which has the advantage (?) of avoiding the Edinburgh Festival). Don't make it dependent on me though.
  7. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    I decided just to look in to see why nobody had asked me if I believe Thatcher was guilty of Crimes Against Humanity. But I'm pleased to see that Rotten Ali has made the correct assumption. The Hartlepool Deadlypool is clearly in Good Hands.
  8. Tuber Mirum

    Margaret Thatcher

    Hooray! 40 years too late mind. http://www.isthatcherdeadyet.co.uk/
  9. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    No, but look at this: 2:45. Doesn't that look like Morris Dancing to you?
  10. Orangejuice doesn't look right but we all say it fast. Have you ever thought oatmeal should just be oats? Most never hear oat. Post fades out. Reading your post made me wonder about the word fucktard. Not the whether its one or two words, just fucktard............. Anyway, whoever you are, stop using the log in for BS, stop impersonating him and untie him and bring him up from the basement, NOW! He is coherent from time to time That's not coherent. It's bollocks. Oats and oatmeal are two different things. Oatmeal is made of oats and could consequently be called oats but it isn't the same thing. Bollocks it may be but at least you can follow what he said Barely. It isn't immediately apparent what is meant by "Most never hear oat". It does include the requisite subject, verb and object to qualify for being a sentence, but it's only just hovering around the pass mark as regards making sense. Admittedly that's a distinguished achievement by Banshees' standards.
  11. Orangejuice doesn't look right but we all say it fast. Have you ever thought oatmeal should just be oats? Most never hear oat. Post fades out. Reading your post made me wonder about the word fucktard. Not the whether its one or two words, just fucktard............. Anyway, whoever you are, stop using the log in for BS, stop impersonating him and untie him and bring him up from the basement, NOW! He is coherent from time to time That's not coherent. It's bollocks. Oats and oatmeal are two different things. Oatmeal is made of oats and could consequently be called oats but it isn't the same thing.
  12. Writing apple pie as one compound word is probably an effect of the German influence in American English. I don't like it much. Logically orange juice should be one word. To distinguish juice made with oranges from juice which is merely orange in colour.
  13. Unsurprisingly, Mr Fowler has had something to say on the subject: -H.W. Fowler (Modern English Usage)
  14. Has anyone pointed out yet that "any more" is two words? I hate that. People who write "infact" and "aswell" and suchlike. Windsor does it quite a lot actually. "Alot" that's another one.
  15. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    I don't think Notapotato would consider 29 to be a tender age. 25 might be a different matter.
  16. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    Just noticed that the above extract from the bonus system is a bit unclear, since multiplying by 3 twice would give six anyway and it isn't clear if the six bonus for both is meant as additional. Since a bonus multiplied by 36 could give an enormous score I suggest changing the "Both of the above" bonus to x8 and awarding it instead of the two above thus still leaving everyone who hasn't picked George H W Bush in with a chance. Assuming Notapotato considers Bush to be a "recent" US president and to be guilty of crimes against humanity.
  17. Tuber Mirum

    Hugo Chavez

    I missed it too. I read the whole article and couldn't find any swearing at all.
  18. Tuber Mirum

    12. Henry Kissinger

    Hear, hear that man!
  19. Tuber Mirum

    Death List Convention

    Glasgow... Hmmm... Don't you still owe me a curry?
  20. Tuber Mirum

    New Year Greetings

    A Happy New Year to one and all!
  21. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    Don't know, but I believe he's just popped out for a few days so you're unlikely to hear anything immediately.
  22. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    And what would be confusing and complicated about that?
  23. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    The finishing date for 2012 is the 31st of December. The new game starts on the 1st of January and lasts until 31.12.2013. I think we decided in previous years to accept late entries as long as all the names on the list were alive at the time of submission. No more entries will be accepted after the first hit of the year. That seems to me to be nicely arbitrary and very much in the spirit of the game. Entries should be sent by PM to Rotten Ali.
  24. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    Points are scored according to the following highly complex scoring system: Competitors are awarded points according to the order in which their candidates die. The starting positions are as follows: Candidate 1: 50 points Candidate 2: 45 points Candidate 3: 40 points Candidate 4: 35 points Candidate 5: 30 points Candidate 6: 25 points Candidate 7: 20 points Candidate 8: 15 points Candidate 9: 10 points Candidate 10: 5 points When the first candidate dies, points will be awarded as above, and the remaining potential scores will slide up or down one position. If candidate 1 dies first, the team gets 50 points and the points below all increase by 5, so candidate 2 will get 50 points if he or she is the next to go. If a celebrity departs further down the list before the ones above are gone, the scores above are reduced by 5, causing the highest remaining score on the list to disappear. Those below will increase by 5 as before. This will often cause two celebrities to have the same number of points next to their names, but the order in which they die will still influence subsequent scores. The Bonus System: Candidate not picked by any other competitor +2 Candidate under 18 years old -2 25th or less in line to the throne of Belgium, The Netherlands, Sweden or Denmark +2 Been on Celebrity Squares (or Hollywood Squares)+3 Death of candidate in spite of extremely high improbability or unlikeliness of same. +5 US Baseball or Basketball player -3 Former or present UK Prime Minister +3 Drummer +2 Incumbent or recent US president +3 Guilty (in Notapotato's opinion) of crimes against humanity +3 Both of the above +6 Has played in a pantomime+2 Has performed Morris dancing +3 Found dead in a Swimming Pool +3 Died in a farming or gardening accident +2 Death worthy of a Darwin Award +2 Murder, Suicide, Lightning +2 Dies on Notapotato's birthday (16th of May) +2 Death by Fire +2 Death by Water +2 Death by Bongo +6 The bonus is calculated according to the following simple formula: bonus x (score gained from death divided by 5) Multiple bonuses multiply so a bonus of 3 and a bonus of 2 give together a bonus of 6. This makes negative bonuses extremely unattractive. This is also the reason why some bonuses have been increased this year, because 2*2 is the same as 2+2. So a bonus of 2 on a score of 40 gives you 2*(40/5)=16 Additionally there will be a bonus of 50 points for coming in in 13th place in the Hartlepool Deadlypool. Unless there are only 13 or fewer entries. then there won't be. Nothing could be simpler. Oh yes, and there's an extra bonus of unspecified size payable on the first hit of the team which has the most interesting and unusual selection of celebrities.
  25. Tuber Mirum

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    These are the newest Rules I could find. Scoring System to follow in due course: The Rules According to Notapotato The object of the game is to predict the deaths of celebrities and in particular the order in which they will die in the year 2013 Each competitor submits a list of ten celebrities in the order in which he believes they will die in 2013. No. 1 being the first to die up to No. 10 who has to hang on until all the others are gone. The more deaths correctly predicted in the most accurate order will win the most points and thus the competition. Here are the Detailed Rules: 1. Dead means dead. No longer living: A bit like William Holden who having just been fished out of Gloria Swanson's swimming pool, died drunk and impoverished a mere 31 years later. Eligible for a death certificate. (A Munchkin is optional but may get a bonus) 2. For the purpose of the game a "celebrity" is someone well-enough known to get their death mentioned in the UK national press or on the BBC news website. Or anywhere else Notapotato's heavily-prejudiced mind considers a reliable, respectable source of international news. In the event of disagreement as to the celebrity of any individual or the validity of an obituary, Notapotato's word is final. 3. Only human beings may be submitted as candidates. Animals may take part in the deathpool, but may be ridiculed for doing so, and may not get any points. Unless they are cats with a long history of doing deathpools. Team names which sound like an animal such as "Donkey from Hell" or "Dead as a Parrot" are allowed, I suppose, but may be ridiculed. 3a. Strictly only one team per participant. The submission of teams in the name of domestic animals in an attempt to circumvent this rule is doomed to failure. And ridicule. 4. If a participant dies during the competition, unlike in some deadpools he doesn't win the competition automatically. He may, however get awarded a few extra points by way of consolation. And next year a bonus will be named after you, perhaps. If you do die during the course of 2013, do drop us a line and let us know where you went wrong so others can avoid making the same mistake. 4a. For legal reasons we are unable to actively encourage participants to murder or otherwise accelerate the deaths of their chosen celebrities. There is however no penalty in the Hartlepool Deadlypool for doing so. Your Procurator Fiscal or local alternative may see this differently though, so we reccommend asking beforehand. 5. Anyone selecting tender-aged sufferers of terminal diseases or anyone under sentence of death or highly likely to be sentenced to death at the start of the year will be summarily ridiculed and very likely penalised in an arbitrary and unpleasant way should their candidates actually die or be killed. 5a. And you won't be getting the extra bonus points for original and unusual picks if you don't come up with something a bit more original or unusual.
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