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Monoclinic

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Posts posted by Monoclinic

  1. Posted

    Of course, if you want to learn decent Dutch, don't go to the Netherlands, but rather to Flanders. Each year a Dutch spelling competition is held, Het Groot Dictee der Nederlandse Taal, which is almost always won by a Fleming.

     

    regards,

    Hein

     

    Another reason to hate the Flammands by proxy? I wish they'd stop quibbling on about independence and just do it, no-one outside of the 10 or 11 million Belgies gives a hoot, or even realises a split is on the cards. I can solve the Brussels problem. No one gets it! Include the BHV bit and make a free city EU concession type thingy. Then we can stop wasting money on this rolling presidency and moving all the filing cabinets to/from Strasbourg every 6 months.

     

    That's why I'm not a politician.

  2. Posted

    Muck about with Google Scribe.

    I tried a few classic beginnings. I don't expect Google Scribe to win literary prizes anytime soon:

     

    Shall I compare thee to a summer camp for children with special needs and their families in the area.

    Call me Ishmael review of the literature on the subject of the present invention.

    It was the best of times and then they will become more apparent from the following detailed description.

    Happy families are all alike in the several States and Territories to the north of the city of New York.

    It was a dark and stormy night in their own right and do not want to be related.

     

    Sometimes the stupid programme loses track:

     

    A spectre is haunting Europe and the United States and Canada and the United States and Canada and ...

    It is an ancient Mariner Hybrid 4WD MPG Database Search Results for All Products → ∞

     

    regards,

    Hein

     

    That sure beats the English lessons I remember. God how I hated to over analyse books and write essays agreeing with my teachers opinion of a book for the want of a GCSE. Good books spoiled probably but certainly puts me off the authors I read in school for life.

     

    Whilst I'm at it I may as well continue my rant... why is it that English Lit is always deemed the more important qualification over English Lang? (As in regarded more highly.) For the GCSE we could take in our texts for the lit exam, in which we had previously made copious notes and highlighted all the relevant quotes, so all one had to do was rewrite this to fit the essay title and Bob's your uncle there you go have an A. The English language exam was based on unseen texts, far harder IMHO, certainly not an exam that you could revise parrot fashion for, a proper test. Before my exam year (94), the two English qualifications were 100% coursework where you chose your best bits! Talk about easy and fucking easy. No wonder we and those pupils who have followed make the likes of honez mad! I guess if you want to learn decent English these days the trick is to move to Holland :(

  3. Posted

    Maybe I've been away too long but whilst doing some googling on our new best team (can we get a DL skull on their team kit I wonder?) I saw this horrid suggestion about reality TV and FWFC. Is this true? Another vague link. And do we really need to sell "soccer" [washes mouth out with soap and water] to the USAians anyway? I think MUFC and Liverpool fans would agree.

     

     

    EDIT: Here's a little article, apologies if already posted, that (eventually) says you can sponsor a homematch for 150 squid.... can the DL community club together for such pride? Brighton sounds like a great location for the convention but would a trip to Fort William be like finding a soul mate? I hear the DL has had a bad year for significant deaths, or something.

  4. Posted

    Lets be fair - you always say nice things about dead people. Even if they were complete cunts.

     

     

    I expect when Lady Thatcher dies honez will say something like:

     

    "She was a delightful little old lady who helped boy scouts across the road and tirelessly baked cakes for the miners when they were out on that strike."

     

    I forgot to mention that there are exceptions to the rule - Adolf Hitler, Myra Hindley and Margaret Thatcher...

     

    Hitler was just misunderstood, I mean he did keep the youth off the streets, just look at what Joseph Ratzinger has achieved. Myra had a bad childhood. Thatcher however was a cunt.

  5. Posted

    [some snippage for brevity]

    I like your new avatar, comerade. (saved here, in case you change it in the future):

     

    av-2198.jpg

     

    What was life like without Google? I fear I may have forgotten.

     

    Re the other bit, I wouldn't go for the full tin pot collection just have a happy leader face with everyone else recruited by interview, or public telecasting live on C4. It's the new red.

     

    I've another suggestion too, with the European surplus of bureaucrats, we could each take turns in loaning Belgium a government, saving on redundancy packages and job seeker benefits. I'd happily step in, but I can't do Tuesdays, Wednesdays or Fridays when there is an r in the month.

  6. Posted

    I will digress.

    Just been to Tunisia (it was cheap) which has hordings galore of their "El Presidente" Zine El Abidine Ben Ali.

    There were times when I began to "get it" and see why Castro has been in full charge for so long.

    Hey, im sure Cameron will get round to persuading the rest of the EU that Cuba and Tunisia, as well as Turkey deserve inclusion into the EU.

    Im sure that will keep the Fundamentalists quiet, not as if the EU will be controlling them or owt, eh?

    I supose the only difference between the two Presidents is the fact that one runs a country that, at times, looks like Beirut on a good day and the other one where the clock stopped in 1934 and again in 1957, if you see where im coming from.

    All a bit bizarre.

    May I recommend some more digression, what with Castro clearly not dead and unlikely to be for the next two decades....

     

    I sometimes wonder if we would be better off with one of these live in presidents. Just think no annual canvassing for bullshit local elections so random dogooders can discuss jam rights at local fetes, Britain in bloom and decide which roads to disrupt for the next 18 months all in the name of ineffective traffic calming. No elections equals no fliers equals no paper, ink and energy wasted (go carbon footprint!). Equally there'd be no TV broadcasts by all the loony corrupt Eton bumfun boys (and girls). Neither would we be disappointed or thoroughly pissed off when the politician you (didn't) vote for does a u-turn on his policies or chums up with the ones we really hate. We could also brighten up the place with some iconic slogans and posters. Perhaps wheel out Thatch as our "beloved leader", just to piss off the EU, I'm sure she'd make a perfect Kim the elder II. This leaves the sensible people in Whitehall to make all the executive decisions and we'd get a Boris in or some other classic spokesperson to relay the message to the people.

     

    Only one drawback, in a People's Republic, what to do with the monarchy? sanglantguillo.gif

     

    Salutations,

    Comrade Mono.

  7. Posted

    [*]Lenin 53 (22 April 1870 – 21 January 1924)

     

    I've just seen him, he didn't look a day over 40. The queue for The Chairman was far longer so I skipped the chance to compare Madame Tussauds efforts in dictator body doubles preservation for public display.

     

    Digression over, as you were, long live El Comandante!

  8. Posted

    Nice bit of topic resurrection, hmb&wa. :)

     

    regards,

    Hein

     

    Quite an amusing socialogical analysis there, or summat. Perhaps we should assign some of those names to all the members? Obviously best not to self-proclaim but I think I can identify with quite a few on that list like Ennui, Jerk or as for Rebel without a clue never reading FAQs, instructions or likewise!

     

    I think our forum has lost it's Target however...

  13. Posted

    I believe he has done a lot of the running commentry. Well he was always on France 2 when I tuned in, though that wasn't often due to that horrible thing called work!

     

    Anyway,

    for those interested giving lots of info about his state of health.

     

    I'd say his voice was probably midway between the guy in the Noel Edmonds jumper and the guy in the seventies shades at the end of this

    .

  14. Posted

    ADVERTISEMENT:

     

    Caretaker Manager required m/f

     

    XpertEleven.com

     

    2 month contract

     

    Clinique Précisionists are a renowned team within the Death League Xpert Eleven, having been around since season 2, with a quasi consistent performance until recent unforseen circumstances hit the club. To avoid further neglect and future known absenteeism we are looking for a caretaker manager to bring fresh ideas into the club and to build on our success. The current manager will be on hand for advice for just over 3 weeks before commitments take her away from current interneting practices. She will not return until towards the end of September.

     

    The ideal candidate will have an excellent knowledge of mouse work and perhaps an average sense of humour to devise press releases for additional stipends. You will be a born piss-taker with the skills to set players training, count to eleven and partial to risk-taking. French is not a prerequisite but an enthusiasm to shrug your shoulders in defeat is advantageous.

     

    This role is a unique opportunity for those new to xperteleven who would like to know more about the game without any full hands on commitment. Bags of enthusiasm, initiative and flair are secondary to lucky heather and wings and prayers.

     

    For further details please contact Monoclinic via the usual DL channels. Both current and former managers will be considered.

  16. Posted

    Multiple, sex on a beach is over-rated, you pay for it afterwards with the sand getting everywhere.

     

    Salman Rushdie or Dan Brown?

    Salman.

     

    World Cup 3rd place play off or Community Shield (as most pointless game of football)?

     

    Community Shield.

     

    Jack Taylor or Howard Webb?

     

    Graham Poll

     

    Torres or Ronaldo ('s haircut)?

  17. Posted

    Congratulations Cowboy Ronnie for your fantastic achievement. With a clear overall lead you have also been awarded the Golden Coffin for the most skillful fantasy football manager the Deathlist has ever seen. Only one previous owner.

     

    1278944376974.jpg

     

    For those of you interested to know where you came but can't be bothered to log in, here is the final table.

     

    1278944443379.jpg

  18. Posted

    Toss up between here and room 101. I'm about 700 miles from the Spanish border and I'd say 50 miles from the Dutchies yet they are going mad in the streets here; horns, screams and vuvuzelas. Pesky glory supporters. People I'd spoken too over the last month were hopeful for their neighbours (not France, naturally). What a fickle bunch they are.

  20. Posted

    Latest news from the Northumberland manhunt:

     

    The police have sent Raoul Moat an urgent message. Apparently he is unaware that Ashley Cole, John Terry, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney also slept with his missus.

     

    Northumberland you say?

     

    Anybody heard from our placid compatriate Star Crossed? We should have had a TSAN update by now. A 48 page letter is a bit in the realms of killer post whore...

  21. Posted

    As for cancer.... Lung or bowel?

     

    EASY, Lung. Would you want someone else's bowels?*

     

    Sex on the Beach or a Multiple Screaming Orgasm?

     

     

    * Note to pedants: Allow for artistic licence, I'd hazard a non-medical doctor guess that transplants are not used in the treatment of cancer.

  22. Posted

    I'm surprised it hasn't made an appearance here yet; surely I'm not the only one to hate the vuvuzela?

    It's bad enough I've had to endure midnight and 4am kick offs, but to have to suffer the infernal vuvuzela in the wee hours is getting beyond a joke.

     

    I can save you the bother of those early starts and annoying noises. GERMANY will win. You can relax now.

    This must be true, I saw it on the Internet here.

    Argentina had won the FIFA World Cup twice. First in 1978 and second in 1986. When these years are summed up gets 3964. And that is the magic figure!

    In 1970 and 1994 Brazil won the cup and the sum of the years it is 3964.

    In 1962 and 2002 Brazil were champions again. When summed up gets 3964! In 1974 and 1990 Germany won the FIFA World Cup. Just look at the sum. It is again 3964!

    So this year ??? It will be 3964 – 2010 = 1954 , the winner of 1954. It is none other than Germany!

     

    Nice try, but hopefully FAIL! A similarly shite urban myth was bandied around emails in 1998 about the symmetry of world cup wins and we all know the outcome of that one don't we?

     

    1966 ENGLAND

    1970 BRAZIL

    1974 WEST GERMANY

    1978 ARGENTINA

    1982 ITALY

    1986 ARGENTINA

    1990 WEST GERMANY

    1994 BRAZIL

    1998 ANGLETERRE

     

    A wiseman welshman once said, Allez les Neds.

  25. Posted

    Hey ^_^ I'm new around here.

    All looks very interesting, my aunt is on here you see known as 'six' I believe :P

     

     

     

     

    Does that mean we have to be nice to you?

     

    Has it ever meant that before?

     

    That all depends on how well Six is integrated in the alliance systems. ;)

     

    Alliances? I thought it was every man, woman and squid for themselves with some various pedant keeping score.

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