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Cowboy Ronnie

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Posts posted by Cowboy Ronnie

  1. Posted

    In news even harder to believe that he once had an affair, John Prescott is apparently a bulimia sufferer

     

    Two Gags

     

    Looks like The Sun has beaten me to the punch with jokes about him being as crap at doing bulimia as he was at putting together an integrated public transport strategy. I'm still mad at the ludicrous red bus lanes into London from Heathrow he introduced, populated by taxis and tumbleweeds, running next to unnecessarily long traffic jams.

     

    The fat f*ck.

  2. Posted

    He's out of rehab, but he has grown a bushy beard and become obsessed by ghosts and aliens. "I think joining Take That was like leaving on a spaceship..."

     

    Robbie's becoming the Howard Hughes of the 21st century. The prodigious early success, a mother complex, the "Hollywood" years, dating all kinds of famous women, a James Bond tie-in, rumours of homosexuality, drug abuse, and the descent into madness featuring a strange beard and spending time in Nevada.

  6. Posted

    They are saying that Speight hanged himself.

     

    Seems odd to me. Why go to a train station to commit suicide that way? He could have done that at home...

     

    Apparently he planned to leap in front of the 18:20 Great Western from Cardiff, but it was running so late he got sick of waiting.

  7. Posted

    I don't know about yours Handy, but my old PE teacher would certainly get a local obit as he's also a dreary local councillor. He apparently used to eye up the boys going through the communal showers, but I'm led to believe that being proficient in the art of perving is a requirement on one's CV to secure a position in local education. Sadly for him his surname begins with a B, so inevitably he was called Bummer Brice.

     

    My old gym teacher from middle school had fingers so thick he had to dial a (rotary back then) phone with a pencil. He was also the part-time school bus driver, and whilst reversing on our street one time he went down a six foot ditch with me still on board. Fortunately I escaped unarmed, but was too naive to realise I could have sued the school district back to the Middle Ages. Ron Krueger he was called, possibly one of the fathers of Freddie from Elm Street.

    • Like 1

  8. Posted

    Actually, Phantom there are a great many instances where law abiding gun owners successfully defended themselves by using firearms.

     

    Really? I can recall exactly zero news stories in which that ever happened.

  9. Posted

    Kenny Baker, microscopic actor who played R2D2 in the Star Wars films is hospitalized and is feared to be 'seriously ill'. The (3ft 8inch) actor would receive the qualified recognition if he fails to recover.

     

    I always thought it was a bit of a cheat by Kenny Baker to claim he "played" R2D2? What did he do exactly - make the litle bleep boop noises? Cause R2's head to spin slowly from side to side? Was there a little steering wheel and motor inside, with Kenny driving him around? I say it's all just a Lucasfilm marketing ploy to try to humanise the R2D2 character, while Kenny really was just one of those Hollywood dwarves who carried trays of coke on his head. Which would have been quite handy with Carrie Fisher on the set.

  10. Posted

    At the risk of posting on a topic that may appear elsewhere (I did a search, honest), is it too much to hope for Warren Jeffs to brew up his own brand of Jim Jones kool aid, and drink the whole batch himself?

     

    Underage sects

     

    If Al Qaeda are looking for a new target that represents something hideously wrong with a side of US culture, perhaps the CIA could send them a detailed map of Schleicher County, Texas.

    • Like 1

  11. Posted

    They are more likely to find she died choking on Dodi's c*ck, which was severed during the impact. Even more likely that she died of internal injuries, due the fact she wasn't wearing a seat belt, being in a car driven by a frog thinking he was Alain Prost. How mundane..

     

    If the later is found, I hope Mr Fayed pays back the tax payers money in full.

     

    Told you so ;)

     

    Told us what? That she died choking on Dodi's c*ck? That it was severed during impact? That Mr. Fayed would pay back the tax payer?

     

    Because surely you're not claiming any special insight into the actual cause of death, which I believe was well established over ten years ago.

  12. Posted

    I agree completely, Charlton Heston is the most significant death of 2008 thus far.

     

    Signifying only a cultural obsession with mediated spectacle. Hillary actually climbed Everest, whereas Heston did not actually part the Red Sea. Whose was the most significant achievement?

     

    Seems the views on people's relative fame may have something to do with an aspect US v UK culture. I would imagine far more of my English friends could name the world's tallest man, even though he was American, than could my US friends. Something about the British obsession with detail - not just that there was someone almost nine feet tall, which is all the Americans really care about, but that he was named Robert Wadlow. Every British schoolboy is brought up knowing the first man to climb Everest was Edmund Hillary, the first four minute mile was run by Roger Bannister, that the first solo non-stop flight across the Atlantic was by Charles Lindbergh. It's why Britain has train spotters and came up with the Guinness Book of World Records, while America has Hollywood and daisy-cutters.

     

    For what it's worth, to me, Heston dying is much "bigger" news than Hillary.

  14. Posted

    Manslaughter, though she was a woman, obviously.

     

    Henri Paul and the Pap snappers all to blame.

     

    Does this mean any of the paps will go to prison? It would be great if Romuald Rat spent some time inside caged like, er, like, some sort of animal. In a cage.

  16. Posted

    Frosty Freeze (Wayne Frost) of the "Rock Steady Crew", who did much to popularise breakdancing and appeared in the film "Flashdance" has died aged 44.

     

    One of the girls in my class at school got to meet them on the Saturday Show. It was the last ever episode and she got to dance with them. She was a bit of a spoilt brat anyway and not very well liked.

     

    I bet she was pretty, though

  18. Posted

    Speaking of orgasmatrons there's a cracking front page on the News of the World today blowing (heh heh) Max Mosley's cover. The man likes nowt more than sado-masochistic orgies where he barks orders in German, dresses accordingly and whips hookers. Doubt he'll die, or even lose his career as a result of the story, but thought I'd share it with the group.

     

    For those not up on Max's life, his dad was UK Fascist supremo Sir Oswald Mosley and Max has been involved in controlling F1 for decades.

     

    Here's a Youtube clip. Surely there's no way F1 keeps him. I'll guess gone by the end of next week at the latest

     

    Mad Max beyond Pleasuredome

  23. Posted

    Kevorkian considering a run for congress, not bad for someone who was gravely ill while in prison. ;)

     

    This would only slightly more a waste of everyone's time than the decision by Ralph Nader to run for President. Or Ron Paul, Mike Gravel, Joe Biden, Dennis Kucinich, Sam Brownback.....

  24. Posted

    Good, always nice to see this thread heating up a little. On the subject of TAFKAG's "misleading" post: 1) despite the "Death by Jazz" name most of the posts in the thread are not about musicians dying, rather it has become the repository of all things jazz related; 2) TAFKAG entitled the link to the article "hangs up his horn", which strictly speaking is exactly what Humphrey Lyttleton did, i.e. he didn't die, and 3) TAFKAG even spelled out that his phrasing wasn't a euphemism.

     

    Now, where can I get one of those 25 cent bagels? I'm starving.

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