Death Watch Beatle

I can't help thinkg that statement should hve been worded differently. What next, Jade Goody to make a "full recovery" Indeed it would be of Lazarusical proportions! DWB

Hey HCW - just wondering how you got on tonight? - hadn't heard from you for a while! DWB

Now that the sweepstake thread is closed (and I can't be bothered to open it again for my single post) I want to say that I should have won it. She didn't go soon enough (most people will agree on that), there is every chance she will have the Christmas number one and a 30 foot tall mechanical JG with holographic face is in the design studio as we speak, on course to open the London Olympics. Like I said - I should have won! DWB

Just had a thought - if my kids school announces fireworks on that Saturday the boss would almost certainly insist on me going to see the bangers as a parental duty. DWB

Top post! Made me lol for real - Well done sir! DWB

DL members, what d'ya think? I'd say yes, primarily because even if we said no he can add it in an edit ;-) Yes. But only after he has begged . I'm begging, I'm begging Where's you self esteem HCW? DWB

Sorry I haven't been around recently, but you will be pleased to know that this JG sh*t has driven me to post! This is probably nearest the truth. (Apologies if this has already been posted - I only just got here). And as for a departure date - I'll go for "Not soon enough". DWB ps - I think she will have the Christmas number 1 and will open the London Olympics.

Let's hear about the latest coffin fillers. DWB "Jason", one of the five British hostages held in Iraq since May 2007, is reported to have committed suicide. [sorry - wrong thread]

The move to Tuesdays was a f**k up on my part. The machine offers you a fixed day (say Friday) and then offers you an additional weekday - might be Tuesday or Wednesday in our case for cup matches - HOWEVER - if you don't pay attention to the start day of the league you can get your Tuesdays and Fridays muddled up! Will revert to Fridays next season. Did that make any sense at all? DWB

That means mid-table obscurity for your boys doesn't it? DWB

The new season will be starting in a couple of weeks. There will be the Ashes later on in the campaign as last time around. Good luck to everyone. DWB

Bravo! Our favourite Bridesmaids! DWB

Well done Gravediggers on a well deserved first title - now all you have to do is defend it next season. Notapotato is onboard, and hopefully eejit will join up shortly. If anyone chats to him, could you remind him to get his application in? Also, open doors to anyone else who wants a team. DWB

Eejit and NAP - I have sent you the details to join the league in a PM. If anyone else fancies taking a team in the next season of Death League drop me a PM or a reply on this thread. DWB

Agreed, Cliniques will win her last game (Unless Baggytee gets resurrected and plays a blinder) I hope you're not accusing moi of bursting your balls Mind you, at least we are all finishing above Deedubleyabee Should I take being the yard stick that all other teams are measured against as a compliment? DWB

. . . and then this happens: Someone broke into your club house during the night and punctured all the balls. Because of this todays training session had to be replaced with some other training and the players lost a little bit of form. New balls are purchased for 100 000 econ. The thugs left no clues. DWB

My god! what an amazing predicshun. Are you Banshees in disguise? Err . . . Quite remarkable! DWB

Oi MPFC, Can I join in after that date? I don't see my team up yet on the DDP. I'm sure OoO will back up my team when it comes 'live'. Post your team here and I'll log it, though I'd appreciate you identifying the joker to save me having to chase you. The point of using the DDP teams is to ensure fair play so people don't just nominate everyone who has died since Jan 1st. So long as your DDP team goes up and matches the 20 you post here that's fine. I dont remember my team, but I'm sure Mr Wisdom is my joker Ha ha ha ha ha. How dim are you not to jot down your team when you submitted it! Hey OoO - looking forward to seeing your website up and running in the near future! DWB Edit: My joker was Mr. P. Swayze. aha. Here we go: BROWN BREAD 1. Seve Ballesteros 2. Ronnie Biggs 3. Fidel Castro 4. Kirk Douglas 5. Farrah Fawcett 6. Paul Gascoigne 7. Jade Goody 8. Tony Hart 9. Genaro Hernandez 10. Pervez Musharraf 11. Denis Norden 12. Barack Obama 13. Wendy Richard 14. Sir Bobby Robson 15. Yitzhak Shamir 16. Ariel Sharon 17. King Sihanouk 18. Patrick Swayze Joker! 19. Amy Winehouse 20. Sir Norman Wisdom DWB

Oi MPFC, Can I join in after that date? I don't see my team up yet on the DDP. I'm sure OoO will back up my team when it comes 'live'. Post your team here and I'll log it, though I'd appreciate you identifying the joker to save me having to chase you. The point of using the DDP teams is to ensure fair play so people don't just nominate everyone who has died since Jan 1st. So long as your DDP team goes up and matches the 20 you post here that's fine. I dont remember my team, but I'm sure Mr Wisdom is my joker Ha ha ha ha ha. How dim are you not to jot down your team when you submitted it! Hey OoO - looking forward to seeing your website up and running in the near future! DWB Edit: My joker was Mr. P. Swayze.

Don't you have any confidence in me? I only won 6-0 tonight, and am top of the league (on goal difference) So, let's have a look at the fixture list . . . you have me away (good luck!) and then two home ties against Clinique and Gravediggers (both with title claims). Not easy - how confident are you? DWB

There is no way on God's clean earth that Mark Lamarr will participate in this sh*t (that I will probably watch) - I would pay good money, however, to watch John Leslie go in there and send his non-existent career even further down the shitter. If I am wrong about Lamarr, I will bare my bottom in Trafalgar Square at the next DL meet. So you's all had better hope I'm right. Or as an alternative (to save you the embarrassment) let's ask Jo Guest to bare her bottom at the next DL meet. DWB

Looking at the run-in fixture list, DWB backs Clinique for the title - now you know why I don't gamble! DWB

Yep, have a great 2009 one and all. DWB

So, the draw for the cup semi-finals is as follows: Dyslexics Untied v FF United FC Knickers United v Bury FC The form indicates that Dyslexics and Bury should progress, but with both Knickers and FF progressing from the preliminary round by beating (in my opinion) decent opposition, I think they will be putting out their strongest possible teams. DWB says: FF v Knickers final - Knickers to take the silverware. Well, that's done it for you now, hasn't it? DWB

Have you worked out who gubbed (c. honez 2008) you yesterday? It will take a season or two to really get you side sorted. Make sure you pick up the million offered each week in sponsorship bonus, and if you make a press release you get a bit more. Keep up your players average form - this is the deciding factor on how they develop pre-season. Players skill can go down as well as up - you reputation is at stake if you do not keep up repayments. Depending on how much money you have in the bank, look for a couple of older but higher skilled players to get you out of trouble for a season or two while you build up your squad from youth players etc. DWB