To die for

RIP Andy Banks....what a way to go http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2257228/Musician-dies-falling-drain-tried-retrieve-keys-dropped-New-Years-Day.html

Get arrested in America...for parking an elephant???? http://www.divinecar...t-fifty-bizarre

Actor Pete Postlethwaite has died after a lengthy illness

Jacques Swaters former F1 driver and buddy of Enzo Ferrari has died aged 84

Sort of true, BUT, I'd only say the death penalty should be handed down if concrete evidence is available - and that's not just DNA but also with such as video evidence or multiple unshakeable corroborated witness evidence. Too many times innocent people have been jailed, only years later being able to prove the jury verdict wrong. Sadly we could not just return to being able to impose these punishments while within the EU membership framework. That issue would have to be put before the people in a referendum. First if we as a nation were willing to continue membership of such forums - and only if the verdict was a NO answer - then the second part could be entertained - that of re-imposing the death penalty in the most serious of cases. I think the whole topic appealing but with so many pitfalls I can't think any political party (other than UKIP or the BNP) would chose to put any weight behind the idea. Good point. Just let them out without the possibility of anonymity and let mob justice prevail. Same result

There are cases where there is no "reasonable doubt" - Myra Hyndley, Ian Brady, Peter Sutcliffe, Ian Huntley spring to mind - that they committed the crimes that they received multiple life sentences for. These are the types of criminal that should receive the death penalty, they don't deserve attempts to rehabilitate them and certainly should not be allowed to waste public money appealing for parole/human rights violations/compensation. They should have been sentenced to hang. End. The part I disagree with is keeping prisoners on death row for years, if they've been sentenced to die, get on with it. Years of excuses should not count against the original crime.

If it gets really bad you could always talk to yourself Windsor, this chap ended up in with Jerry!!

The Wolfman - too obvious, too dull. Definately not "The Howling" or "An American Werewolf in London" or the original.

One of the deck-hands on Thames Clippers. This particular "Little Blonde Nazi" decided to have a go at me, my friend and my partner when we got the ~23:15 boat from Embankment to Canary Wharf. Granted, we were quite drunk, and my friend was drinking wine from a glass she had brought with her from the restaurant we had eaten at but still aggressive, confrontational behaviour to my mind is not acceptable. Anyway, we got on board and were ordered to one side of the boat, the deck hand then proceeded to tell us how he or one of his chums could be glassed in the face by the wine glass and how we wouldn't find it funny when he "took us down", all slightly confusing! So I duly went to the bar and got my friend a plastic glass and my partner and I a bottle of Becks each (glass bottles I hasten to add) poured the wine into the new glass. Becks bottles were apparently acceptable because "he knew how to defend himself against one of those". Then I went to take to wine glass back to the bar, was there something that said "spoiling for a fight"? I didn't think so. Anyway the deck hand then took the glass away from me and lobbed it over board!! Aren't these peolpe told that littering the Thames is a offence, and went away. I wished I had asked for the twats name but seriously thought that would be the excuse he ws looking for to start something. Does anyone think he may have had a bad day?

TMIB, thankyou for checking your inbox for my entry, its a joint effort and as I have responsibility for entering it I wouldn't want my co-conspirator to accuse me of slacking/forgetting. I think you should play, its a game of skill and luck and as a seasoned deadpooler no-one should be surprised if your team is close to the top. I don't see any of the whingers or cheats lining up to offer you assistance as "The host" so fuck em, its your show this year. Good luck!!!

Any more?

Could have been worse, there are degrees of shite. Please list your top five of why 2009 was shite and I'll tell you why it could have been worse:

10th March 6lb4oz Girl Amy

1. Drivers who think a Red light means put your foot dowm 2. Drivers who think their Kiddy Cab looks cooler with the front fog-lights permanently on 3. Drivers who can't afford another head-light bulb or are too stupid to notice that they have a headlight out 4. BMW drivers, and I don't care if you think you are the world's best driver, its a BMW not an all protecting space bubble 5. Lorry drivers, just because you're indicating doesn't mean there's space to pull out 6. People who drive round without their seat-belt off, maybe this just counts as natural selection 7. Drivers who are asleep in the middle lane doing 65 until you try to overtake them 8. Drivers who get right up your arse, flashing their lights when you are overtaking and there's no where to pull in even if you wanted to. Oops did I see a dog in the road? 9. Motorbikes who think the white line is just another lane. 10. Drivers doing 65 in the outside lane because they're on the phone My top 10 collect them all!